Sometimes I simply crack myself up.
A brash dominatrix named Jones
Would reduce all her boyfriends to moans
By her erotical knowledge
(not acquired in college)
Of painful erogenous zones.~~~
Our inventive young sadist, Miss Jones
Was cursing and swearing in loud tones.
She’d bought X-ray glasses
To look at men’s asses,
But all she could see was their bones.
What? Do I have to have a reason?
Week 3
So far, I think I can live with this.
The next time was about a week later. It was her day off, so I arranged to go in late. Instead of handing me the key, she had me warm her up by licking and rubbing her until she had come a few times. Naturally my cock was so swollen that it was pressing through the cage, making it impossible to be removed. I had to put a cold washcloth over it to make the swelling go down enough. She undid the lock and helped me take it off, eager to feel me inside of her.
The cage that I wear is a modified version of the ones that you can buy at “adult toy” stores, but since I own a machine shop, it’s more secure than the plastic models on the market. It has a hinged stainless steel ring that encircles my cock and balls. It stretches my balls out from my body a little, so I’m always just a tiny bit aware that it’s on. I expect that after a while my skin will stretch enough to be just a bit more comfortable, but it hasn’t happened yet. The cage itself is held on by two thin plastic-coated stainless steel bands fastened to the cock ring. When soft, the end of my cock just about reaches the end of the cage, and just about fills the sides. That means that as soon as I get excited, my cock swells to the point where I’m exceedingly uncomfortable. Naturally, it can’t extend any further, so the skin bulges out from the metal. It stops just short of being painful. The problem is that when I’m aroused, the feeling of constriction itself becomes even more arousing, and I’m trapped in a vicious cycle. You’d think that since I had designed and built it myself that I’d have been more aware of the comfort factor, but wearing something for a few hours is nothing like wearing it for a few weeks.
Another one of the benefits for my wife is that once I take off the cage, my cock is swollen wider than normal. I suspect that this is part of the reason that she likes me so confined. I teased my head into her, just the tip at first. I love to hear her gasp as my head slides in and rubs that spot under her pubic bone. In, then slowly out, and in less than a minute she was coming. Even though I was excited myself, I managed to give her some slow, deep strokes. I like to pull out just about all the way, and then plunge back in, my head dragging her lips. She gets very wet, and I like to fuck her this way until she’s come quite a few times. This time was no exception, and after she had come four or five times, I pressed my hips tightly against her and hugged her body close to mine. My head was still swollen, and when I angled my hips up, she responded by scratching my back with her nails. Gradually I sped up my tempo, and in another minute she was biting my shoulder, and I heard her moan lightly as she came.
Seeing that she was still excited, I turned her on her side. She loves to have me fill her this way, and she was so wet that I slipped right in. I pushed my hips up to hers so hard that her eyes popped open in surprise.
Too hard?” I asked, “Want me to stop?”
She shook her head, barely able to speak. “Just, umm… a little… ooohhhh,” she moaned.
I love to watch her in the daylight, so I continued to fuck her this way for a few more minutes. My balls were swollen and sore, and as they dragged on her thigh I became more stimulated. I again pushed deeply. “Oh, honey, I want to come this way. Can I come yet?” I asked her feverishly.
She nodded, “Come for me.” and pushed her hips back to meet mine.
I closed my eyes for a moment and gripped her side and her thigh. I thrust deeply into her, feeling my sore balls rubbing her thigh. Moments later, I felt my hot come gushing out, so much that it squished out of her before I had even finished. Wave after wave of pleasure propelled my hips forward until my cock was sore from pulsing. Weakly I leaned over her to kiss her neck, and then without pulling out, settled down to snuggle, spoon-style.
“That sounded nice,” she said, her arm lazily caressing my leg.
“Mmmm,” I moaned, “that’s because I finally got to stretch my love muscle.” I hugged her tightly, enjoying her warm back against my chest and warm ass against my groin. “When I’m locked up, I can’t stretch, so all those spasms get backed up, you know.” I kissed her neck. “Of course, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want me to do this more often.”
She playfully pushed me away, “Because then it wouldn’t feel so special to you. I’m just trying to give you what you asked for.” She turned to face me, and gave me a long, deep kiss. “And doesn’t it feel good when we finally get to have sex?” I couldn’t argue with her, so we lay there for a few more minutes until I had to leave for work. She watched me squeeze myself back into the chastity cage and lock it up. I got dressed, and remembered the morning for the rest of the week.
Stolen from Inspired by everybody else that seems to be posting it in the last couple of weeks. 99 is a hell of a lot of questions.
1. How old will you be in five years? 53 (almost 54)
2. Who did you spend at least two hours with today? Mrs. Edge.
3. How tall are you? 5′ 8″
4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? A week off! Half with the family, half on my own (I like my peace & quiet time).
5. What’s the last movie you saw? Last DVD: Sin City. Last time at the theater: Umm… can’t remember. Last TV movie: Zoolander.
6. Who was the last person you called? Mrs. Edge.
7. Who was the last person to call you? My doctor’s office (I had a question on an upcoming blood test)
8. What was the last text message you received? “I like being your blue-eyed love goddess” (from Mrs. Edge, the day after she got a “present” that I bought her from Stormy Leather.)
9. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? A friend of mine who wondered if I could help him out for a half hour tonight.
10. Do you prefer to call or text? Voice is better. Texting is good for a quick note, or a smile.
11. What were you doing at 12am last night? Either IMing Kimba or sleeping.
12. Are your parents married/separated/divorced? Married 50 years.
13. When is the last time you saw your mom? Mother’s Day.
14. What color are your eyes? Hazel-ish-y.
15. What time did you wake up today? 5:45
16. What are you wearing right now? Jeans, cotton button down shirt.
17. What is your favorite Christmas song? Am I the only one that hates Xmas music?
18. Where is your favorite place to be? Laying on a comfy deck chair, reading a book, a cold lemonade by my side (or a vodka & tonic with lime).
19. Where is your least favourite place to be? In a crowd.
20. Where would you go if you could go anywhere? A cabin in the woods, on a lake. With a kayak or canoe.
21. Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years? Pretty much no change.
22. Do you tan or burn? Tan. Although the top of my head is seeing more exposure lately.
23. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? The monster that lived under the bed or in the closet.
24. What was the last thing that REALLY made you laugh? Zoolander from Qestion 5.
25. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1-1/2 (the 2nd one is not hooked up yet).
26. How big is your bed? King sized. I don’t know why, since I sleep on the side, and Mrs. Edge is always scooched up next to me.
27. Do you have a laptop or desktop computer? 2 desktops, 1 laptop, and a whole bunch of parts from older machines.
28. Do you sleep with or without clothes on? I always sleep nude, unless I’m visiting someone. Then it’s only upon request.
29. What color are your sheets? All different colors. Right now we’ve got beige.
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2
31. What is your favorite season? Late spring/Early summer. Sprummer?
32. What do you like about fall? The foliage (excellent in New England) and the way the air smells.
33. What do you like about winter? Not much. I get to have a fire in the fireplace.
34. What do you like about the summer? Daylight, warmth, greenery.
35. What do you like about spring? There’s just something about the air or atmosphere. The long, grey winter is over and the sap is starting to run.
36. How many states/provinces have you lived in? 1.
37. What cities/towns have you lived in? 8.
38. Do you prefer shoes, socks, or bare feet? I have these LL Bean slippers that they will need to bury me in.
39. Are you a social person? No. I’m okay in small groups, but not often, and I dislike going to several parties in a week.
40. What was the last thing you ate? Grilled salmon, baked potatoe, steamed broccoli. I cooked tonight.
41. What is your favorite restaurant? Outback Steakhouse (*ducks the rocks flung by Kimba*). Oh, and the small, romantic Italian place at the center of town.
42. What is your favorite ice cream? Ben & Jerry’s Super Chocolate Fudge Chunk – also, Breyer’s Natural French Vanilla.
43. What is your favorite dessert? Mrs. Edge does this super dark chocolate cake from scratch… Either that, or pistachio ice cream with hot fudge.
44. What is your favorite kind of soup? Beef barley.
45. What kind of jelly do you like on your PB & J sandwich? Rasberry – with seeds.
46. Do you like Chinese food? I could live on it… and have at some points in my life.
47. Do you like coffee? Yes. I grind my own beans, usually Dunkin’ or Green Mountain. I don’t understand why my coffee tastes better than when I buy it at Dunkin’ Donuts. It’s the same coffee, right? And lately I’ve been liking McDonald’s Paul Newman Organic coffee. I’ve been preferring that over Starbucks.
48. How many glasses of water a day? Maybe one or two? But I drink coffee – that’s mostly water, right? Oh, and tea. And Juice.
49. What do you drink in the morning? OJ or grape juice. Lately I’m off coffee and switched to tea. My sister brought me some nice Earl Grey from England.
What happened to 50? These memes need a good quality control agent. So, I’m going to make up my own:
50. What do you eat for breakfast? I tend to skip breakfast and have a light snack in mid-morning.
51. Do you sleep on a certain side of the bed? Right side, usually.
52. Do you know how to play poker? A little. I’m not big on games. Except maybe naked Twister.
53. Do you like to cuddle? Depends. When watching a movie, yes. When lying in bed talking, yes. When I’m lying on the garage floor changing the oil, no.
54. Have you ever been to Canada? When I was a child we went to Niagra Falls.
55. Do you have an addictive personality? Nope. Unless you count my blogging addiction.
56. Do you eat out or at home more often? I cook a lot. You can usually find me in front of my big ol’ stainless steel grill.
58. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? My stupid sister-in-law.
59. Do you want kids? I have one, plus a step-son.
60. Do you speak any other languages? I used to be fairly fluent in Spanish; now I can barely remember anything. I can get by as a tourist on my Spanish, Italian and French.
61. Have you ever gotten stitches? Only a few.
62. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Nope.
63. Do you prefer the ocean or a pool? A lake.
64. Do you prefer a window seat or an aisle seats? Window.
65. Do you know how to drive stick? Yes. Or was this supposed to be a naughty question?
66. What is your favorite thing to spend money on? Tools. I have a radial arm saw, a table saw, a standing drill press, a planer, a scroll saw… and a cabinet full of other power tools.
67. Do you wear any jewelry 24/7? Is there anybody who does not know about my piercing?
68. What is your favorite TV show? I watch some cartoons with my daughter. Other than that, I don’t watch much.
69. Can you roll your tongue? Yes. Want to see?
NO 70 EITHER (why not?)
70. Can you wiggle your ears? No.
71. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No, Mrs. Edge sleeps in the nude, too.
72. What is the main ring tone on your phone? Mrs. Edge gets “You Shook Me” by AC/DC. Other people are split up between “Amish Paradise” (Weird Al), the Simpson’s “Stonecutter Theme”, Timbuck 3′s “Gotta Wear Shades”, Ted Nugent’s “Stranglehold”, Devo’s “Whip it” and the cute Cingular tune.
73. Do you still have clothes from when you were little? Eww.
74. What red object is closest to you right now? Scissors.
75. Do you turn off the water while you brush your teeth? I turn it way down to a trickle.
76. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed. Never found out where the monster went from question 23.
77. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of bees? Bees. I have no desire to have my limbs torn away.
78. What is on your computer screen (wallpaper) now? I have a program that switches it around. Right now it’s the “Red Moon Desert” that comes with Win XP.
79. What do you dip a chicken nugget in? Plain or mustard.
80. What is your favorite food? Italian, when I cook. Chinese when it’s the great place down the street. Mexican when I want just chips and drinks.
81. Can you change the oil on a car? Yup.
82. Have you ever gotten a speeding ticket? Who, me? A few when I was younger.
83. Have you ever run out of gas? Yes.
84. What is your usual bedtime? Sometime between 10 and 2.
85. What was the last book you read? Some humor from the 1920s by PG Wodehouse.
86. Do you read the newspaper? Only on Sunday morning.
87. Do you have any magazine subscriptions? 4 or 5. Psychology Today, Reason, Wood Magazine, and a couple of trade journals.
89. Do you watch soap operas? I’d rather be surfing teh interwebz.
90. Do you dance in the car? I rarely listen to music in the car anymore, I’ve been enjoying the silence. But sometimes I crank it up and do the driver dance.
91. What radio station did you last listen to? NPR this morning (it comes on as my alarm so I can hear the news).
92. Who is in the picture frame closest to you? On my right, family. On my left, “The Sleeping Gypsy”.
93. What was the last note you scribbled on a piece of paper? Probably some phone number at work.
94. What is your favorite candle scent? I like them plain, with just an Edge of Vanilla.
95. What is your favorite board game? Trivial Pursuit. I totally rule at anything with useless knowledge.
SOMEONE ABSCONDED WITH 96 AND 97
96. What kind of exercise do you get? I walk around at work a few times a day. I’m going to sign up at a gym because I’m just not as active anymore.
97. Paper or plastic? I switch. Paper is more easily degradable, but plastic is less damaging to the environment.
98. Who was your favorite teacher in high school? Freshman: Dont’ remember. Sophmore: Spanish 2 teacher. Junior: Spanish 3 teacher (same guy). Senior Year: Civics
99. What is the longest you have ever camped out in a tent? I spent a week on the Appalachian Trail in southern New England. I’ve done several other 5 or 6 day hikes. I’ve camped in one spot for a week at campgrounds a bunch of times.
Week 1
They tell you to be careful in what you wish for.
As usual, I awoke with an erection. Or, more correctly, my attempt at an erection woke me; the feeling of my cock trying to grow, to stretch and swell was hampered by its confinement in a steel cage which was firmly anchored to my swollen balls by a hinged stainless steel ring, and secured with a small brass padlock which was, of course, securely locked. The constant straining against the cage had woken me, as it had woken me every morning since my wife had requested that I wear it.
It started off innocuously enough. We had been experimenting with a male chastity device, a kind of cage for my cock to heighten the teasing and denial games that we had been playing. We typically played for a few hours to a few days over a long weekend, and it usually ended in one of us removing the cage and indulging in some great sex.
One night, a week or so before my birthday, she mentioned that a neat present would be to have her lock me up for more than a few days, perhaps a week, just to heighten the arousal. I thought that she would blow it off, like she had several times in the past, but the next night found her straddling my hips, bringing me to the edge of coming, and dangling the cage in front of me. In an apparent change of attitude about the subject, she told me that once I came I would have to put on “the cage” until she felt like letting me out – no argument. When I agreed – and I was so horny that I would have agreed to anything – she then told me to beg her to lock me up (“So you won’t complain, since it will be your own choice,” she explained). The thought of her keeping me locked up, but continuing to tease me for a few days was pretty hot – so hot, in fact, that as I was “begging,” I came harder that I’d thought possible. She gave me a few moments to bask in the afterglow, and demanded that I lock myself up again. Sometimes she teased me about the cage just to see how aroused I would get, but this time she was serious. So I put it on and she locked it. I figured that a few days of erotic torture leading up to my birthday would be fun. A week would be the longest time we’d ever gone, and I actually looked forward to the buildup of excitement.
The next morning my erection straining at the cage woke me up, and I teased myself a bit by caressing her as she slept. She woke slowly, and snaked her hand down to my cock. Sighing and moaning a bit, she moved my hand to the warm area between her legs. Obligingly, I stroked her, surprised at how quickly she became wet. Barely a few minutes later she moaned and arched her hips, and I slowed my stroking to allow her to come down. She smiled, and opened her eyes for the first time. She reached up to give me a good-morning kiss, and her hand again slid down to fondle my caged cock. I whimpered as she shook and stroked the few bits of flesh that bulged through the bars and firmly squeezed my balls.
She whispered “Do you have your key? Get it for me, please.”
Not needing to be told twice, I hopped out of bed and riffled through my pants for my keyring. I removed the little silver key from the ring and sliding back into bed, handed it to her. She placed it firmly on her nightstand, and turned to see the look of amazement on my face. “What, did you think that I was going to unlock you so soon?”
I nodded, unable to speak.
She took my face in her hands and said “I want to make sure that you have a wonderful birthday present. I mean, you suggested it, right?”
“Er, no. You suggested it.”
“Whatever. The point is that it’s your present and you agreed, right?”
I nodded again, feeling devastated.
“Good,” she said, laying back down, “Now, how about making some coffee while I snooze for a few more minutes.”
That was a week before my birthday. I remember that morning well.
The time ever since then has been incredible – for her. For the next few days she was pampered with massages and pedicures, and of course, with lots of attention from my fingers and tongue. I rubbed her body with cream after her shower, massaged her feet and painted her toenails. I still remember the first night when she rolled over to go to sleep, completely ignoring the state that I was in. It didn’t take long before I was crazy with desire for her, and I tried to convince her to unlock me so that I could come. I even told her that she could lock me back up again after I was done. She anticipated that, however, and told me that she “accidentally” left the keys at work to avoid giving in to temptation. I continued to service her with my tongue each night and with my fingers in the morning, feeling my cock painfully straining against the cage. She had all the benefits, except that of feeling my warm cock inside her. She didn’t complain, though, and managed to suffer through it by having me fuck her with a realistic silicone dildo while I licked and sucked on her pussy. One night, I wore her strap-on dildo and despite the maddening feeling of not being able to come, I gave her a nice long fucking that ended with a shuddering orgasm for her – and an incredibly frustrated sleepless night for me.
Finally my birthday arrived. She continued to tease me all evening, and by bedtime, I was a wreck. Then she did something that really blew my mind. The flesh of my cock was literally swollen out of the bars of the cage after an evening of pleasuring her. Crazy with desire, I lay on top of her, kissing and caressing her when my caged cock brushed her still wet pussy. Thrusting and twisting, I managed to push it a short way into her. The feeling was incredible; she had never seemed so tight or hot. Yet even as I carefully thrust into her, she began to moan and squirm. Unbelievably, she was coming. Here I was, frustrated and caged, my the skin of my cock bulging like a sausage through the bars of the cage; and she was coming! The thought was too much for me, and right after she came, I could feel the incredible pressure building up inside me as well. Unable to hold back, I desperately tried to come, but the cage left me unable to flex my shaft. Disappointingly, I had no satisfying spasms, just a few meager dribbles and suddenly, before it had even begun, it was over. It was worse than nothing; I was more frustrated than ever. My wife, perversely enjoying my lack of release, pushed my head down between her legs so that I could satisfy her. As usual, when she was finished she rolled over to go to sleep, again leaving me caged and horny.
The next morning after my birthday I awoke horny, frustrated, sore, and still caged. My wife didn’t seem very eager to unlock me, so I asked her to let me out so that we might have a quickie before work. She grew quiet and looked away for a moment. Sensing that something was up, I nudged her. Pushing me onto my back, she gave me a kiss and explained that she had been getting many more benefits from having me locked up than she would have realized. She said that she liked that I was attentive, always ready to please her, and that she never had any mess to clean up afterward. She started to explain that although she missed my cock inside her, she was willing to put up with it for a while. It began to dawn on me that she was enjoying the situation more than I had anticipated. She reminded me that since it was my wish to be caged in the first place, she had no intention to unlock me anytime soon.
Week 2
Sometimes it’s hard to remember that this was supposed to be my present.
Even though I’ve been taking care of her well – very well – with my mouth and fingers and the dildo, she insists that she misses the feel of my cock inside her. The problem is that the longer I’m caged, the hornier I become. And the hornier I become, the tougher it is for me to last long enough to satisfy her. Since then, I’ve been let out only about once a week so that she could enjoy the feeling of my cock, swollen from my constant caged erections. Sometimes it’s at night just before she goes to sleep, but usually it’s on her day off.
The first time that she let me out was wonderful. After being caged up for over a week, I fucked her wildly. Pushing her onto her side, I entered her deeply. It felt so good, I barely noticed how many times she came. Finally she decided that she wanted to ride my cock. She moaned a little as I pulled out, but wasted no time in straddling my hips and lowering herself onto me. I tried to hold back, but watching her come so strongly sent my already overloaded libido over the edge and I came hard – over a week’s worth of desire and frustration suddenly released. My throat was sore from moaning, and I could barely move my legs.
“That was the best sex we’ve had in I don’t know when,” I told her when I could catch my breath.
She nodded, rubbing a washcloth over my cock. “Obviously to me,” she said, “all that saving up just made it so much better.” She dangled the cage over my cock and added, “Hurry up and put this on. I want to go to sleep.” I started to complain but she stopped me, “Do I have to remind you that this is your birthday present?”
“Um, yeah,” I answered, “but I was thinking it was just going to be for a few days, or a week tops.”
“Oh, stop complaining,” she told me, “it’s only been a few days, like what, nine or ten days? So a few extra days should be a good thing for you, right? Besides, it’s been pretty good for me.”
“Sure, that’s because you’ve been getting some sex every other day.”
She just smiled. “Uh huh, just how it should be. Besides, it was your idea, wasn’t it?”
I had to admit that I had begged for it. So she snuggled up in my arms and soon we fell asleep, tired but well sated.
I’ve hit a blogging milestone of sorts.
Over the last week I’ve watched as first my original Blogger version of “The Edge of Vanilla” rolled past the 25,000 hits mark. I started that blog back in August, when I decided that I wanted to branch out from my Live Journal. Although I no longer use Blogger as a journal, I still post stories and some of my more creative pieces on it because my StatCounter tells me that people still link there from other blogs. I guess I don’t want to hang a big sign saying “Yeah, I know you clicked here from somewhere else; now come over to my real blog.” Although, this may not be such a bad idea.
But that’s not the milestone I’m really here to write about.
Back at the end of October, I recreated that blog here on WordPress, mainly because I’m a sucker for features. In the animal kingdom, I’d be one of those creatures that gets lured in by shiny, glittery things. While the free version limits my ability to customize the pages or add Java-scripted toys (more shiny things), I like the way WP handles most of the other features. For instance, in addition to having blog posts, I can have a separate bank of “pages” which I can format for other articles. In addition to the ubiquitous “About” page, I’ve added a page with links to my stories, a page with TMI, and a page for reading and other resources.
There is an old Zen parable in which a monk tells his students “The world is vast; why do you put on your robes and pray at the sound of a bell?” Likewise, for some reason we think of “milestones” in terms of numbers ending in nice round zeros (oh, and the law of fives, of course). Except for “sweet sixteen,” most of us will be treated to birthday extravaganzas on our 30th or 50th or 75th. But what about all of those poor, neglected numbers in between? I mean, 37 is a prime number, why don’t we have Hallmark cards for that?
The reason, of course, is that people aren’t digital. We’re analog creatures, and we like to space things out because it’s easier to process the information. We count by fives and tens because we’re used to our fingers. I’m sure that if we had only four fingers on each hand, we’d count by 4s and 10s (Yes, we would. Think about it).
Anyway, I’m completely rambling because I’m writing this at work and keep getting interrupted to, well, do those things that allow me to pay the mortgage.
Over the weekend I’ve been watching my WordPress blog hit counter climb past the 50,000 52,201 mark, a number I considered something close to the order of infinite when I moved over here a bit more than six months ago. So, needless to say this is quite an ego boost for me, and I’d certainly be remiss if I didn’t pat myself on the back during the traditional “You like me; you really like me!” post that generally accompanies these kinds of milestones.
Personally, I have often wondered who reads my blog – not specifically, mind you (especially if some of you are my family members), but in a general kind of “You really find this interesting?” sort of way. This came up recently when my wife had the day off and decided to read some of my stuff after I begged her gave her the links and left the browser open for her.
My wife? Ah yes, I hear the sharp intake of breath from those who think that no good would possibly come of allowing their partner in on their sexual thoughts. I can tell you from experience, however, that for the ten years that we were not communicating, there wasn’t a whole lot of “good coming” to speak of, and we’ve since learned that – for us, anyway – it’s much less stress to get things out in the open. Neither of us is wonderful at it, although in a bit of role-reversal I found myself having to be the initiator in conversations about intimacy and emotions. That is one of the reasons that I thought she might benefit from reading this; while I do tell her about some of my favorite articles, I thought she might benefit from reading them as written.
She had a few comments. One was she loves it when I refer to her as “Mrs. Edge.” I think it’s because it makes her feel like a character in a story. Or maybe because it’s got a cool connotation to it. Another was “Why do you have so many hits? Who the hell reads your stuff?” I’m sure that she meant that in a good way. And surprisingly (sort of) she really liked my recent post on men who see their kink lives as “conversion projects” and try to disguise their own fetish interests by claiming that it’s supposed to be for their partners.
Damn. I just bought her a leather halter top from Stormy Leather. Please, please, please don’t let her discover Bitchy Jone’s blog.
But interestingly – and to the delight of my own ego – she did ask when I was going to write more hot chastity porn. Some people just never seem to get tired of it. And interestingly enough, this may be the answer to my question.
That said, thank you everybody, for reading. And thank you even more for commenting. Let’s all do this again in six months when I can celebrate 100,000 101,423 hits.
If any of my 42 readers have not dropped by the Bitchy Jones’ Diary blog, stop your one-handed typing and click over to there right now. I mean it – I know you’re here to wank to my hot chastity porn, but this is important. I want you – especially you married men who self-identify as “submissive” – to go read about why your wives are not turning into the leather-clad bitch dommes from hell simply because you’ve hung $200 worth of polycarbonate plastic from your wabbly bits.
Bitchy Jones, in one of her latest rants about what doesn’t work for her with regard to female domination, tossed out an off-hand remark that simply hasn’t gotten the attention that it deserves:
You think it might have something to do with the message you keep transmitting about how female domination is all about having relationship with an intentionally sexually repellent and inadequate man? Which isn’t submission, by the way.
Let me tell you what submission really is.
Submission is about being desired. Submission is about being overwhelmed by another person’s sexual desire for you. Yes, you, you sexy fucking submissive bastard.
The implications may not be immediately clear, so let me illustrate this with a story.
A while back, a woman wrote into one of the chastity groups with a concern. Her husband wanted her to be more dominant, and so he locked himself into a CB3000, insisting that he was doing it out of respect for her. After a week or so during which he pampered her, did housework, and gave her backrubs, and did all of those other things befitting a goddess, she unlocked him with the intention of rewarding herself with some hot sex. She tried to tease him with a little oral stimulation, when he pushed her away, explaining that as a submissive, he could no longer enjoy her ministrations. Oral, he went on to explain, is not something that Dommes do to undeserving subs as it is beneath them.
Likewise, he was determined to have her keep him locked away for extended periods of time, all the while maintaining that it was out of respect for her as her new role as a Goddess. He came up with a point system in which he had to earn orgasmic release by doing chores, giving her a certain number of orgasms, and by doing other such things.
Naturally, she was puzzled by this. She wondered if this meant he no longer desired sex; more to the point, she wondered if he was intentionally keeping himself locked away because he no longer desired her. Yes, he called her “Goddess”, but she certainly didn’t feel like one. Her husband, her partner of many years suddenly acted as if he no longer wanted to have sex with her.
What kind of Goddess wants that?
This is an admonishment to those men who have taken on the conversion project of trying to turn a vanilla partner into their dream domme. Your partner for the last 5, 10 or 25 years has been having a relationship with you. After all those years of sometimes hot (or sometimes not) sex, you’re on the verge of changing your relationship with her. You spend some time talking, showing her catalogue items, showing her web pages, and letting her read my stories. You’ve bought the thigh boots from Stormy Leather, the basket of squishy vibrating toys from Blowfish, and the extra-secure handcuffs from the Stockroom, yet your Goddess is still resisting that big breakthrough. You spend a week without an orgasm, and you’re both dripping with arousal, but you think that she doesn’t “get it.”
Listen up, you big doofus: Your partner hasn’t been having a relationship with the squishy vibrating toys, she’s been having a sexual relationship with you! You’ve talked her into trying something kinky; she’s totally hot from making you beg, from seeing your desire. You’ve been attentive and affectionate all week long, and now she wants to be pleasured; yet you tell her that you’re going to deny her the emotional pleasure of being intimate with you?
Who’s in charge here, anyway?
Here’s a clue: Your partner isn’t turned on by those leather and steel handcuffs, she’s turned on because you are aroused with desire for her. Your desire fuels her own, and she wants you. And a Goddess gets to have whatever the hell she wants, right?
Take the hint.
Bitchy Jone’s article focused on the cuckold kink, in which men try to convince their partners about how much happier they – the partner – would be if only they’d have sex with some other men:
Oh and all the stuff where it so blatantly comes from the man and is then presented as the woman’s sexual desire. All that just makes me itch. I mean, you only have to look at the number of toppish women in this thread saying, hell, yeah, what’s in it for me, to see that cuckolding really isn’t about pleasuring your partner. Most women would rather have sex with their partners.
But the same point applies to any other aspect of these conversion projects: most men who profess to be interested in their partner’s pleasure seem to act as if they’re only interested in indulging their own kinks.
And that brings me to another point. It’s this indulgence of one’s own kinks under the guise of being pleasure for her that gives much femdom a bad rep in public. Like it or not, female domination is presented in the mainstream media in pretty much the same way that it’s been done since Leopold von Sacher-Masoch: cruel, detached, manipulative women scorning the affections of the pathetic men who grovel at their feet.
No! No, stop wanking and listen:
If you have, say, a fetish for how sexually repellent and inadequate you are and you want a woman to explain that to you, whilst laughing merrily. Fine. But this isn’t what I want and I don’t want these things representing me. Or being the primary representation of my sexuality out in the wider world. [...] It’s the prevailing culture I rail against. The perceptions. What potential dom women see and are repulsed by.
Are you conversion project guys listening? June Cleaver is not going to become a Wicked Wanda, because
a) her conception of a dominatrix is, in many ways, repulsive to her, and,
b) her conception of a submissive even more so.
That is why she has so many times been turned off by your suggestions of leather and riding crops. Your partner wants to think of you as a strong, attractive man – not the “pathetic worm” of the BDSM stereotypes. Ignoring the psychological symbolism of your penis as the pathetic worm, ask yourself this: if your partner is really a Goddess and worthy of your worship, what could possibly induce her to continue a relationship with somebody who professes to be unworthy of her attentions?
And since Google tells me that dozens of you find this place by searching “tom allen’s chastity blog,” let’s end this with yet another pronouncement from Bitchy Jones:
I like chastity. A lot. [...] So long as I get to take the thing off and have access whenever I want. That’s the key. So long as I have access I’m happy to take away his. I’m happy to own a man’s cock. I like cock. I don’t like my-useless-penis very much at all, but I can really get into my-useful-penis-that-has-been-locked-up-by-a-horrible-sadist.
Again, Ms. Jones points up something that is often completely overlooked by chastity aficionados – indeed, often by our cultural media displays: women enjoy sex. No, really they do. But they enjoy what they enjoy, and not some ideal that’s been fostered upon them by our culture, and certainly not some ideals that dominate the media of what D/s is all about.
I don’t really know what the turning point for me was when exploring the idea of orgasm denial, nor does Mrs. Edge know when it began to come together for her (bad pun, sorry). She does remember that back when we dated I would sometimes bring her to orgasm, and refrain from my own climax, telling her that I preferred to hold on until our weekend date. The idea that I’d be worked up all the way home and then for the next few days made her excited; there’s something about being desired that gets the juices flowing for most people.
So, it’s interesting to see the concept developing right before our very eyes over on another blog: Sexy Momma, one of my new additions to the blogroll. Here’s a bit of her musings:
The thought of it really turns me on because I know that he WANTS me…
When men WANT a woman, they tend to be more flirtatious, pay more attention to the object of their affection, and hit on them more…
So the thought of him just holding back and staying horny, and wanting me madly gets my cunt so wet and hot… I have to change panties sometimes.
Oh my. I have to go open a window now.
But what’s even more interesting is what her husband has written about this:
… for me sex is usually about the end result. tonight i had enjoyed every inch of the journey and i was still feeling it.
more to the point, i knew if i came that all that would be over.
and i didn’t want it to be over.
i also knew my wife wouldn’t have a problem with it once she gave it a careful think, since enforced chastity is one of her fantasies.
she likes the idea of thinking of me out there wanting her, thinking of her . . . which is pretty much the state of my existence anyway, but here at 11 am the following morning i am feeling it with a vengeance.
every sense is heightened. ever bit of my body more aware.
Yes, that’s exactly what goes through my own mind.
Anyone who’s explored the Chastity or Orgasm Denial links with a browser has run into a wide range of kinks and fetishes associated with them, ranging from BDSM to cross-dressing, to cuckolding, to eunichism (not to be confused with Unix-ism, in which one’s sexuality is replaced by thoughts of small penguins and a desire to download software drivers and to smirk at Windows users). The wide range of associated kinks and huge number of people who seem to indulge them overshadow the basic, most fundamental and – dare I say? – vanilla aspects of Chastity and OD play:
Desire is simply fun!
Seriously, have some of you kinksters forgotten that sex can fun and enjoyable? No, really – even without the fetish clothing and bondage gear, sexual desire is fun and enjoyable, and more importantly, hot. Desire? Mrs. Edge literally drips with arousal knowing that I desire her. It’s not the $200 hunk of plastic that turns her on, it’s the idea of my desire and arousal.
Read Momma’s parting thought on her husband’s desire:
So the thought of him just holding back and staying horny, and wanting me madly gets my cunt so wet and hot… I have to change panties sometimes.
Hot Momma is discovering something new, and it’s rather inspiring to watch. Good luck, you crazy kids!
Okay, maybe I can make this “getting older” thing work for me.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had several people make complimentary remarks to me along the lines of “Hey, you’re surprisingly cool,” invariably adding the caveat “for someone who’s almost 50!”
Excuse me, I accidentally scratched your car with my walker.
*ahem*
But that’s okay… By virtue of being older, I’ve discovered something interesting. I’m no longer overtly cool – I’m stealth cool. Here’s an example: Anyone who’s peeked at my TMI page knows that I’m not using the Grecian Formula. I’ve been going proudly grey for years – hair, beard, and yes, chest hair as well. There’s no mistaking me for someone that you’d expect to be cool.
So the other night, I’m in the piercing studio near my house and …
Piercing studio? No, I’m not getting another one… yet. I was picking up a… Okay, wait, let me rewind a bit.
One of the things about my frenum piercing is that we thought that we could use it to enhance the “security” of the chastity device. That is, while the device makes it impossible to have intercourse, and will prevent me from giving myself an orgasm unless I’m using an industrial strength vibrator or a hardware store paint mixer, we have found that there are situations in which I could – if I desired – actually wriggle my pierced nether end from the device to pleasure myself, and then smush it (yes, that’s the technical term) back in. This is a no-no for chastity enthusiasts, but unfortunately it’s also a well-known flaw in the design of many of the devices. Some men can pull out almost at will, and some can’t at all. I can do so under certain conditions; for example, when it’s 85 degrees out and I’ve been mowing the lawn or doing yard work and have gotten all hot and sweaty and dirty, and then come in and take a long, hot shower and and get all soapy and slick, the water glinting off my muscular arms, the suds running down my chest and back and covering my well-toned thighs…
Er… sorry; I was channeling Susan for a moment there.
Anyway, when I’m hot, I have the opposite of “shrinkage,” my bits get all loose and flexible. Add some soap to the mix, and I can wriggle out while cleaning.
NO! Bad subbie! No donut for you!
So we thought about using the frenum to anchor me into the device. The thing is, I’ve modified the device several times, without coming up with a way that is comfortable. The tubes don’t have much room inside, and my wabbly bits, already squished in like sausage in a casing, were getting pinched on the barbell. Making it more difficult to pinpoint, it often doesn’t happen until about 4 am*, at which time I am less inclined to study the volumetrics and ergonomics, and more interested in just getting the friggin’ thing off.
* If you don’t understand this, you haven’t lived with a man. If you still don’t understand this, ask and we’ll explain it to you.
I’ve been working on my CB3000 all weekend, partly as a result of having gotten my libido back (yay!), and partly at the urging of my wife, who began to wonder if I’d forgotten about it in my depression over being old not being 28. I’ve modified the ventilation holes in the underside to make room for the barbell (and the fleshy bits that no longer compress because of the hunk of steel in the way), and the next step is to glue some plastic bars in such a fashion as to prevent the barbell from catching on anything. I’ve been wearing the device since Friday morning, just testing the fit and function, and making little changes. At some point on Monday afternoon I was suddenly struck by an idea; I’m wearing a 10 gauge bar with 1/4″ balls on a shaft that’s 5/8″ long. A quick check on the internet showed me that I can get a 10 gauge with 3/16″ balls on a 1/2″ shaft – just a little bit smaller, but perhaps enough to make a difference. Since the 5/8″ has been kind of floppy, now that it’s healed it seemed that the smaller style would fit better inside the tight plastic tube.
With some sense of irony, on the way back from the drugstore to pick up my refills for the blood pressure and cholesterol meds, I texted Google SMS for “piercing & tattoo” in my zip code, and 10 seconds later I got the number for the place I knew was in town, but had never visited. I called and asked if they had what I had in mind. Yup, they did, and they would be open until 9 pm. Excellent!
If you think I’ve been focusing too much on the little technical details, then you need to understand that for chastity enthusiasts, it’s all about the little technical details. Just like those people who are always tweaking their car – or their computers – those of us with devices are always looking for little flaws and trying to think of ways to improve both the comfort and the security. I get a large proportion of hits from the chastity community, and I guarantee that half of them are reading this and thinking that I didn’t give enough detail, and are wondering if I’m going to post pictures.
And I might, if people ask nicely.
Anyhow, now we can get to the point of the story.
So, at 8:30 pm I walked into the studio, which had at least half a dozen teens chattering at the counter in the lobby. I hung out there for a couple of minutes, and when nobody seemed inclined to ask if I needed help, I asked if there was anyone available. Turned out that they were waiting for someone to help them. A moment later, a 30-ish looking man, clean-cut but heavily tattooed and pierced (go figure, huh?) walked out of the back room. He seemed to know some of the teens, and greeted them, asking for their IDs and permission slips. He ignored me, and I guessed that he must have thought that I was a concerned parent here with one of the younger people. It took me a few more minutes to catch his eye, and I explained that I had called earlier about a barbell. Recognition lit up his face, and he directed all of us into another side room where the piercings are done. By this time, I was well aware that the teens were giving me “the eye” and wondering what I was doing encroaching on their turf.
We entered another room, and he began to go through several cabinets filled with barbells, curved barbells, and CBRs. He pulled out one container which had a barbell that was probably 5/16″ in diameter, with balls that had to be at least 3/8″ wide. I casually asked where something like that would fit. “Oh, anywhere,” he answered, still searching the boxes, “your tongue, penis, wherever.”
I paused for a moment, considering the fit. Ouch. “No, I don’t need anything that big,” I replied.
“Oh? Where’s the 10 gauge going? Tongue?” he asked, still not looking at me.
“Frenum.”
My one word answer had the double effect of causing him to suddenly look over at me, with a hint of respect in his eyes. It also completely stopped the chattering from the teenagers. In the mirror, I could see them all turn around to stare.
“A frenum, really? Wow, I just enlarged mine a few weeks ago.”
“Yeah, well, now that mine’s healed, I’m finding that the 5/8″ is getting sloppy and I want something a little tighter.”
We chat for a few minutes about the relative comfort of several sizes, how long we’ve had them, and what our partners thought of the sensations. I mention that my wife enjoys it, but it’s not as much sensation as we had expected; also, some positions it’s just not quite comfortable because it catches or twists, and again, I’m thinking that the smaller barbell should help with that. In the mirror I see a small blonde girl put her hand up to her open mouth. Several of them lean over to whisper to each other.
He explains that his girlfriend doesn’t care for it at all, and he usually removes it for sex. But then he suggests that I go up a few sizes. I look at a 6 gauge, consider it briefly, and hand it back, knowing that I would never fit into the tube wearing that much metal. I politely decline, and he finds the piece I’m looking for. He then brings me to another area where he pulls out a box of rubber widgets that fit tightly onto the balls of the barbell, turning it, in effect, into a French tickler. He gives me a few samples, and I promise to let him know how they work out. He gives me a price, I give him some cash, and he thanks me for my patronage.
As I leave the store, I turn and smile at the teenagers, several of whom are still staring in open-mouthed disbelief at me.
When I was younger, I considered it to be my avocation to freak out those folks older than me. Now that I’m one of those folks, I’m going to do my best to freak out the younger ones.
I think I’m going to enjoy this!
If you found this interesting, you might also be interested in some of my other real-life experiences which are listed in the True Tales page.
Well, I didn’t make the top picks, but I’ll take honorable mention for Not the Usual Birthday Present.
===============
Sugasm #77
The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #78? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.
This Week’s Picks
Coming without you (smart-girls.blogspot.com…)
“They make me cry out, but it’s more of a whimper than the kind of sound that makes your next-door neighbor bang on the wall.”
Keyword erotica (kislee.naughtyblog.net…)
“I lifted her hips to get access to my zipper.”
Worth Waiting For Part 1 (deliciously-naughty.typepad.com…)
“She and I abandoned our panties, I ditched my shoes, and we relieved Sexyhusband of all his clothes.”
Mr. Sugasm Himself
Rewriting Fleshbot’s Tagline (sugarbank.com…)
Editor’s Choice
Potential Security Problem with Google Mail (viviane212.blogspot.com…)
(Sugasm participants should re-post all the links above. The following links may be excluded as long as you include all the above links.)
Erotic Writing and Experiences
Alive (dirtylittlecockslut.blogspot.com…)
Bikes and Wanking (wanklog.blogspot.com…)
High Rise (plicious.wordpress.com…)
How to get a Discount (drtycplinva.blogspot.com…)
I Like To Watch (thesilentmale.blogspot.com…)
I’m so jealous of this Meeboguest (anawtymouz.blogspot.com…)
Joshua Three – Part One (junohenry.wordpress.com…)
Liquid Satisfaction (bikersballsandteacherstits.blogspot.com…)
That one (lastbreath.wordpress.com…)
Three (secretlifeofaman.blogspot.com…)
Sex News & Reviews
Aloha to “RES’s World of Delectable Sin” by Res (sexblogwelcome.blogspot.com…)
And now for pert, ripe, fresh looking nipples (terracottainn.blogspot.com…)
BDSM & Fetish
Amy’s Breasts (twentyfoursevends.blogspot.com…)
Cheer Me Up, Tie Me Up (eroticawriter.blogspot.com…)
Featured Fetish – Ponyplay, Pony play, Po Nee Play. (www.quipsandchains.com…)
Hand (designingintimacy.com…)
Happy HNT – Ruler spanking and hood play (darkside-journey.blogspot.com…)
A New Day (www.timidboy.com…)
Not the Usual Birthday Present (vanillaedge.wordpress.com…)
Thoughts on D/s and RKB’s Kinky Book Tour (nyc-urban-gypsy.blogspot.com…)
Writing Spanking Science Fiction and Fantasy (www.spankingwriters.com…)
Your Corset (vivianandjack.blogspot.com…)
Sex Work
Burn Out (radicalvixen.com…)
Phone Sex (thismuse.blogspot.com…)
NSFW Pics (& videos)
Action Girls’ Latest Action Packed Erotic Movies (www.taratainton.com…)
Half-Nekkid Boobies (sweatshopsissy.wordpress.com…)
Teaser: Hold ups (imelda-imelda.blogspot.com…)
YouTwoHNT ** 4*25*07 (domain2.blogspot.com…)
Sex & Politics
Let’s Just Rape Them All And Get It Over With (perverselypoly.blogspot.com…)
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Erotic (thenakedrhetoricaltruth.blogspot.com…)
Handling Our Junk (secretbrain.blogspot.com…)
How to watch porn as a couple (myhotbox.blogspot.com…)
My truth (lustylady.blogspot.com…)
Oh, I’ve never felt so blissfully dead. (kissmekali.blogspot.com…)
Tickling something that got turned off a thousand cums (backseat-betty.blogspot.com…)
Who’s got the power? (hard-and-fast.blogspot.com…)
You Know You Masturbate Too Much When… (sarawinters.blogspot.com…)
Sexy stockings and heels courtesy of Backseat Betty.
