Chastity Captions

Okay, I knew about lolcats and I’ve seen other examples of pictures that have had captions added in order to create a humorous mini-scene. But I was unprepared for the sheer number of websites and online groups that exist in order to trade and show off captioned pics of a more sexual nature.

I got the idea to hunt around for them after I saw some of the work by ptathuk, who recently set up a blog to showcase his art: Chastity Fantasies of an Obsessive Compulsive. ptathuk, being a fan of EoV, even dedicated a picture to me, having been inspired by something I’d written a couple of years ago. Since then, I found myself looking forward to the several pics a week he would put up, as he seems to have a good sense of balance with his subjects. Focusing on captions about chastity and orgasm denial themes, he features women who range from fetish models to ordinary, from stick thin to Reubenesque.

Anyway, I went hunting for more, and ran across a dozen websites and even more web groups. Amazingly, some people actually pay money, as if they were subscribing to a porn site. I’m not sure why, but I have a theory that well-done caps have the appeal of a short story, the ability to spark the imagination, and give just a little bit of tantalizing visual appeal.

Unfortunately, most of what I have found is not particularly well done.

While a lot of the cap enthusiasts manage to find pics of attractive women in various stages of dress, a large number of caps are ruined by horrible spelling, grammar, and punctuation ( They are also ruined by poor choices of scenarios, but I’ll concede that this is only a personal preference on my part). Yes, go ahead and sneer at me, but running across a typo in a 2, 500 word or even a 500 word article is forgivable. But a 25 or 50 caption in 18 point bold type should be perfect: no misspelled words, clear grammar, proper capitalization, and – please excuse a pet peeve of mine – the correct form of “your” or “you’re”, “there” or “they’re”, and “its” or “it’s.” And don’t even get me started on using text-speak. “U,” and “ur” for “you” and “you’re” are fine when you’re texting or IMing, but they look ridiculous in grown-up written conversation.

I mean, for cryin’ out loud, guys, ignoring that adults should know how to use the correct spelling of a word, how hard is it to compose in a text window and use spell check?

In giving some thought as to why the bad cops bothered me so much, I think it’s because when you look at these pictures, you are transported – for a short time – into a miniature fantasy world, where the perfect woman is playing out your ideal fantasy, your chastity device is truly inescapable (and comfortable), and the other sexual situations present no obstacles. To me, running across glaring errors jars me out of that fantasy back into the real world, in much the way that an annoyingly buzzing alarm clock jars you out of that nice dream and reminds you that you have to put in yet another day in the quarry.

I have to take a moment to mention that from what I have seen, the majority men creating these pictures seem to subscribe to the “cruel, cuckolding dominatrix” school, as most of the pics I’ve seen tend to be the sneering mistress with captions such as “Ive got u in the best belt. Ur never gonna cum again, chasty!” or “ur little dickie is to small too satisfy me anyway so we might as well lock it up PERMENTLY!” or “oh stop whining or ill soder the lock shut. (giggle) now get over hear and fluff my luver so he can give me the orgasims that u cant with ur little dickie.” I’m not complaining, mind you, since it’s not like I’ve commissioned anybody to do some for me, but seeing this over and over does get tiresome, and as I’ve mentioned before, a vanilla-ish partner who might happen upon such pictures is going to get a very skewed perspective and likely be scared off.

One of the things that I like about ptathuk’s caps is that he tends to keep them simple and gentle. They tend to be mainly about people who are just starting to get involved in chastity and orgasm denial, and many of them seem to take place at around the time when one partner (generally him) has proposed the idea; the caption is her reaction to his suggestion, and (because this is fantasy, remember?) generally shows her to be excited at the prospect. Interestingly, several of them feature women (ptathuk only seems to do straight caps) who have already been involved in chastity play, and who suggest ways to push the boundaries, and then ask if he will be more excited by the prospect.  I found that to be a nice touch, as it puts a more real-life aspect on the situation, making the mini-fantasy more believable.

I couldn’t resist trying my hand at a few of these. I’ve discovered that there are several online programs that will import a picture and allow you to insert text into it – even a picture that is elsewhere on the web. I’ve also discovered that captioning pictures is a huge, time-wasting pain in the ass, so I’m happy to let others do the work.

13 thoughts on “Chastity Captions

  1. Thank you, kind sir.

    I’m in total agreement about the English. It also jars me out of the fantasy when I see a confusion between: there, their, and they’re, etc.

    I’m not perfect, by any means. I know my spelling is atrocious, and has been since childhood. (Thank the Gods for spelling checkers.) Sometimes I’m just a dislexik privet, but I soldier on. :-)

    ptathuk

  2. pt – spell check the text in a doc file, then paste it in. And IIRC, Paint.net and The GIMP have spell check for their text boxes.

    And I’ve gotten quite a few hits on this page in the last few days. Maybe I should make chastity captions a regular feature around here?

  3. Tom,

    It’s the instant gratification angle of captions, I think. It’s why boys read comics instead of novels. I would say, only make it a feature *if* you enjoy it. It’s your blog, you should set trends, not follow them.

    your dyslexic pervert fan

    ptathuk

  4. Johnny Carson used to frequently play the character The Great Carnac, in which he would hold a sealed envelope against his head and guess the question to his answer. If Carnac were with us today he might take a stab at captioning pictures thusly, by picturing captions.

    First the caption:

    “All I wanted was to become more assertive with my husband, but now I feel timid as a mouse.”

    Then the picture .

  5. Tom, as someone who once wrote the captions (and got paid for it along with ptathuk) I definitely can appreciate what you are saying here.

    But why should this topic be any different from all the others? :)

    As to LOLCats, I don’t know why – maybe it’s because they’re cats, but I don’t mind the l33tspeak there (and that is what it’s called btw). It stands for leet, which means “elite” – as in uber geeky. And if you didn’t already know that, you definitely aren’t l33t.

    wiki entry for leet

  6. Aarkey, I’m fine with l33tsp34k when it’s lolcats. But some of the caps – and you know this – aren’t just text shorthand; they are misspelled, or use the wrong word in context, or skip the punctuation.

    That’s just plain wrong.

  7. Tom, i enjoy your page and all the info it brings. i have done quite a bit of research in this life dynamic and find it fascinating! I trully believe this life choice has merit in a mainstream relationship. I also believe people with the need for it are scared off by kink, even though they have their own kinks. I live what i would consider a very mainstream life, work in management, church and everything that goes with a vanilla life! I live with my fiancee and she is my fantasy! She is also the person that oversees our relationship. I am in 24/7 chastity. I think you have broken it down very well in your description of your relationship and what you are in your relationship! I applaud you! This is why i have felt the need to try to bring this life choice to many misunderstanding mainstream people as a life coach dealing with the dynamics of their relationship. Many men miss the chance to have a great dynamic in their lives because they kink it up to the point of turn off and their partner cant feel it! Anyway, great job to you! Robert

  8. I have been interested in chastity for many years and have been a key holder for several chaste women in the past. These women I met through a common fetish site. Moving & a job change caused me to release them. Recently I am again in a position to offer key holding. Since my pc skills are dismal at best, I’m hoping someone can point me correctly to some site where women are seeking a key holder. Thus far I’m finding about 99.9% are chaste male.
    This may not be the correct place for this kind of search, but I simply do not know where else to search.

    Rick

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