What are you doing here? Why aren’t you listening to me lose my audio connection on the latest Kink On Tap podcast?
Kink on Tap – Rebooted
3
Monthly Archives: September 2009
Rule 34
Okay, I can’t help it. I just ordered the new xkcd book.
What, you never hear of xkcd?
Rule 34
What, you never heard of Rule 34? And you say you’ve been on teh intertubez more than a year?
Gosh.
The Real Reason Women Have Sex
This article from the always entertaining Fox News Network has been making the rounds in the regular media:
Given the stereotype that women are never in the mood, it’s not surprising that this book title is grabbing people’s attention. Written by researchers Cindy Meston and David Buss, the work flushes out the results of a survey of 1,006 women.
And their findings are all over the board; the authors highlight 200 reasons.
So why do women have sex? The vast majority (84 percent) have sex to guarantee a quiet life or to persuade their men to do some housework. Some of the other reasons given in interviews include…
1. She’s alleviating boredom – it gives her something to do.
2. She wants to relieve a stress headache or migraine.
3. She’s trying to put an end to an argument.
4. She wants a better complexion.
5. She’s thanking her date for a nice dinner, a present, or spending a lot of money on her early on in the relationship.
6. She’s after a spiritual experience since sex is seen as “the closest thing to God.”
7. She’s refining her sexual skills.
8. She feels sorry for the fellow.
9. She likes that he has an extravagant lifestyle.
10. She’s in a long-distance relationship and wants action now versus later.
Ironically, romance and passion ranked low on females’ reasons for having sex. Instead, sex was viewed as being all about fun, with 60 percent of survey respondents admitting to regularly sleeping with a male friend who was not their boyfriend.
Attraction, too, apparently ranks low on a lady’s list. What’s interesting to note about this factor is that while most men find most women sexually attractive, researchers said that the gals don’t see the guys in quite the same way.
Women reported being attracted to men who were described as tall, having a deep voice, and smelling good. A male having a symmetrical body was also liked, indicating that he could give her strong children. Still, those men not living up to such visions can take comfort in her preference of men with lower levels of testosterone, since this suggests that he’s less likely to pursue others.
It’s important to take these findings with a grain of salt. The way that they’ve been presented largely reinforces the idea that women aren’t sexual by nature as much as capable of using sex as a bargaining tool. Writings cast women as using sex manipulatively or to put up with a partner and her relationship.
Then, muddling matters in terms of how to interpret results is the issue of women having sex versus wanting sex. These are two different factors in one’s sexual activity that aren’t being dealt with independently. Which reasons are ones where women desired sex or skin-on-skin contact? Which reasons felt instinctual?
The University of Texas study has also been criticized for focusing solely on university students at the UT Austin campus who were mostly young and white. We have to remember that these are the results of one group of women — they’re not representative of all women. Still, the book’s press release claims that the work is the “richest and deepest psychological understanding of female sexuality.”
Really?
Collectively, the reasons presented in this survey make all women look conniving, selfish, narcissistic, and shallow when it comes to sex. It paints us as using sex for bartering purposes or approaching it as a hobby or sport. And while that may be the case for these women to some degree, the original research and book actually misrepresent all women by claiming that these findings apply to all of us.
There are a lot more reasons why women are having sex — and they aren’t being captured in this book.
If you ask me, and lot of other women of all ages and backgrounds out there, the reason women have sex, they’ll tell you… They’re having sex to express affection, to get in tune with their sexual core and feel sexy, to make love, to feel close to another, to maintain a long-term relationship by keeping the passion alive, to relish a shared, special moment… and because they like sex when it feels good.
Dr. Yvonne K. Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, “Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots.”
Men, I just want to call your attention to the beginning of the article:
84% of women are putting out either just to shut you up, or to have a spider-killing, toilet-scrubbing, trash-removing, snow-shoveling companion.
Now, most of the people reading this blog are part of the larger sex-positive community, so I’m going to imagine (i.e., hope) that a number of women are reading this with a look of shock. But if this is, indeed, true for a significant portion of women in the US, then should we be at all surprised when men have unspoken expectations that turn sexuality into some kind of reward for good behavior?
Plastics
Okay, the other day I brought to your attention a sex doll for women. A creepy-looking sex doll, but a doll nonetheless. I’ll be expecting commission checks real soon now.
Anyway, while we’re on the subject of siliconed dolls, let me also submit a related item; this isn’t about a lifelike doll, though. This is about making a person more doll-like.
Oh, stop it, you manga freaks. I’m talking about a form-fitting silicone suit that allows men to become curvaceous she-males.
I swear, no matter how up-to-date I think I am with regard to sexual technology, I always run across something that I’d never even thought of, let alone heard of.
The suits, apparently, are designed for transsexuals who want to be more passable. There is even a Femskin instructional video that shows how to put the suit on (and how to remove it). There is also some demonstration of the optional parts of the suit that make it even more passable than I would have believed.
This is a lot more involved than just shoving in some padding. This is a serious makeover. You’d have to be seriously committed to plunk down the $1,250 for the basic suit, plus another $600 to $1,000 for the various options. On the other hand, it’s probably a lot less expensive than the operation and hormone injections.
I have to admit that at first I found the idea a bit weird, but after watching the video, I began to see how it would be a good thing for those who are thinking about a transformation, or maybe even for those who are simply a bit curious.
Now I’m just waiting to see what the manskin outfit will look like.
All porn is gay porn
I learned something new today. Apparently, all porn has the potential to turn you gay, because it makes your sex drive turn inwards.
Yeah, I know some of you don’t believe me, but a real life politician said this, so it must be true. Politicians couldn’t tell you something if it weren’t true, could they?
Here are some excerpts from the Washington Independent article:
One of the final events of the Values Voter Summit was a Saturday breakout session on “the new masculinity,” a wide-ranging topic that one speaker used to explain how any and all pornography could lead young people into homosexual lifestyles. That speaker was Sen. Tom Coburn’s (R-Okla.) chief of staff Michael Schwartz, a longtime conservative activist who has worked for the senator since 2005.
Schwartz told the crowd about Jim Johnson, a friend of his who turned an old hotel into a hospice for gay men dying of AIDS. “One of the things he said to me,” said Schwartz, “that I think is an astonishingly insightful remark… he said ‘All pornography is homosexual pornography, because all pornography turns your sexual drive inwards.”
There were murmurs and gasps from the crowd. “Now, think about that,” said Schwartz. “And if you tell an 11-year-old boy about that, do you think he’s going to want to get a copy of Playboy? I’m pretty sure he’ll lose interest. That’s the last thing he wants! You know, that’s a good comment, it’s a good point, and it’s a good thing to teach young people.”
I’ll let you draw your own conclusions. Me, I’m going to toss out my Playboy issues and stick to perusing more manly, heterosexual material — like the pictures of muscley body-builders in Men’s Fitness magazine.
Bad Tom – No donut!
Some rather aggressive Spam settings in both WordPress and my Gmail account have kept me from noticing non-spam comments that have been written over the last three or four months. I just happened to notice one before I deleted them, and went through the list.
I apologize to anyone who took the time to write something. I wasn’t ignoring you, but I have been remiss in my housekeeping duties. I should have checked things more carefully after tweaking my settings.
I will happily submit to a spanking, if it would make you happy.
Bad Blogger — No donut!
I get a lot of reciprocal traffic with Emma and Scott of Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse. Well, I used to, until Blogger shut them down.
Scott dropped me a note to pass on the news that they have reopened under a new URL:
Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse (http://www.mrsemmakelly.com)
Now, while I fully support the right of any webhost to terminate a contract, I think it’s poor practice for Blogger (acquired by Google, a few years ago) to block the blog without contacting the owners. According to Scott, attempts to contact Google have gone unanswered. It would be easy for Google to write a script that sends out an email when it blocks a blog for TOS concerns.
A few years ago, Yahoo started to get a bad rep for suddenly dropping sexuality related groups and profiles. I suggest that anyone in the sexuality community start looking at some ways to back up articles and media in case Google is trying to give Blogger a more squeaky clean image makeover.
Artificial Beef
Me love you long time.
I know that it’s a fantasy of many chastity enthusiasts to have their keyholder lock them away and to use them as a human dildo. Some take this a little further and enjoy thinking that they will be “replaced” by a strap-on piece of silicone, or perhaps a Magic Wand.
Now we can add another level to that fantasy: to be replaced by a life-sized sex doll.
The odd looking piece of equipment is Nax, a “lifelike” (ironically placed quote marks mine) male sex companion by a German company called First Android. He has six-pack abs that you can bounce a quarter off of, a pony tail hair do (great for hanging onto), and an exceptionally high forehead, presumably to turn on those of you who like brainy men. He also boasts a life-like appendage that, if I understand the promotional materials correctly, is fully functional.
How functional? A Babelfish translation of their website says:
Anatomically trained skeleton with full freedom of movement. Skin in flexible, pharmaceutical silicone. Free standing (option), knee position, sitting, torsos forward bending in knee position and hands supported on the ground, arms causes over the head swivelling.
Options: To move inserted rocker movement around the hip forward and in the back. Very good shock effect in each position, automatically swelling penis during contact, automatic Ejakulation with artificial Ejakulat, other compatible options see purchase order.
Apparently they have added animatronic features, but it’s not clear to me if Nax can actually move under its own power.
Personally, I’m not worried about being replaced; at least, not until androids really become fully functional.
HNT: In a lather
I like to work out in the morning, mainly because after I get out of work, I’m too tired to do anything else.
The nice thing about being of the hirsute persuasion is that I lather up easily.
Want to join in the HNT fun? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!
Sexxay UK
I don’t know how I ended up on a mailing list for a UK adult toy distributor. Hell, I barely remember how I end up pretty much anywhere on teh intertubes. But they did send me an interesting note this morning:
Hello Tom,
I thought you might be interested in hearing about the LoveHoney Sex Map UK. It’s a brilliant new tool that was launched yesterday and will give you hours of fun. The Sex Map allows you to explore the UK finding out all sorts of naughty facts from which town is most into BDSM to what town likes their sexy undies. Type in your home town and find out what everyone is up to behind closed doors! Or why not plan a sexy holiday based on the sexy locations on the map?
You can see the Sex map here:
Check it out and you can find out why Upminister is the sexiest (I know, it came as a shock to us too!) place in the UK.
Happy mapping!
Harrie
LoveHoney blogger
I don’t know that much about the various towns and cities in the UK, except what I’ve read about in Conan Doyle and P.G. Wodehouse stories, but it was interesting to plug in names of the towns that I did know to see how they stacked up.
Better, I discovered that there was a map of the UK that appeared to be a weather map… except that the temperature variations were replaced by buying habits; areas in red spent two to three times more than the national average.
Question for the people in Southampton, Bristol, Nottingham, Cambridge, and Lincoln. Do you have time to get any work done out there? And where the hell is Upminster? That town spends ten times the national average on pretty much everything!
Scotland and Wales spend a bit more than you shoppers in England (Scotland? Really? Must be the kilts.). Conversely, Northern Ireland had better get busy, because your counties are typically under the average.
I don’t know anything about these places, but the searching the data was certainly a fun way to spend my lunch break. And as soon as I can afford a trip, I’m booking a flight to Upminster, wherever the hell that is. I’ve got to see what’s going on over there!
