No Surprise

So, Mrs. Edge is in the kitchen, baking some apple crisp and banana bread. I wander in foraging for some food, and eat a few potato chips from the bag on the fridge. After a few mouthfuls I get irritated for going off my diet, so I decide to look for something healthier.

Spotting the large plastic spring clip that keeps the bag closed, I grab it and make some snapping motions toward Mrs. Edge — or more correctly, her boobs. “Get out, I’m busy,” she says in an exasperated voice.

So I walk behind her, saying “Hmm…” in a loud voice. I then snapped the clip and say “Ow! Ow! Ouch!”

She turns around. “What the hell are you doing?” she asked. “Did you hurt yourself?”

I start laughing. “No, I just wanted to see the look on your face when you’d *thought* I’d hurt myself.”

Mrs. Edge rolled her eyes and turned back to baking. “No surprise, Tom,” she said. “If you’d really done it, it would not have surprised me one tiny bit.”

Huh. Wait until next week when I try that trick with the vacuum cleaner…