Somebody else gets it

Thank Eris! I mean, I’m sure there are other people like us out there, it’s just that you rarely hear from them. It’s probably because they have regular lives, go to work, pay the bills, raise the kids, and kink is either an afterthought, or it’s just not something they discuss on the internet.

Yeah, it’s hard to believe that everybody isn’t into reading, let alone writing blogs, but what can you do?

Anyway, my blog stats showed a handful of visitors from a site that didn’t look familiar to me. A quick click turned into a few well-spent minutes over at Sarah’s “The Male Chastity Blog.” I almost fell out of my chair reading her About page.

Here, listen to this:

We’re a fairly nor­mal hap­pily mar­ried couple (although our being happy per­haps itself makes us not that nor­mal), with one major dif­fer­ence: my hus­band is locked, by his own con­sent, in a male chastity belt.

In an ideal world, he’d be locked long term, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

At least, poten­tially 365 days a year.

I’d unlock him peri­od­ic­ally, per­haps three or four times a year, and allow him “free week­ends” when we make love and he’s allowed to orgasm how and when he wants to, before I locked him in his belt again for the next three or four months.

I love it.

But there’s more:

Look­ing to the future, it’s not impossible, and some days seems entirely likely and maybe even inev­it­able that one day his chastity and denial will become per­man­ent. Not sure yet.

We’ve dis­cussed it and it excites us both, and there’s a clause allow­ing me to decide this uni­lat­er­ally in our chastity con­tract… but there are some obvi­ous chal­lenges with it, not least I, too, would be miss­ing out on the free week­ends I grant him.

See? They acknowledge that it’s a hawt fantasy, but also that it might not be what they really want. They have a practical understanding, and they aren’t into wank fodder.

And then there’s this:

If you’re not into the male chastity “scene” your­self, then you might find this just a little strange. You might even be temp­ted to think he’s some kind of sissy, or some­how less manly because of it.

Noth­ing could be fur­ther from the truth. He’s strong, assert­ive, con­fid­ent sexy and alto­gether manly and masculine.

By this time I’m almost drooling.

By the same token, I’m not some fire-breathing, leather-clad über-Dominatrix who calls him a “worth­less slave” and treats him like dirt. I have to ask myself why she keeps him around if he’s truly worthless.

Ah, Sarah, you had me at “Hello.”

But the icing on the cake, the bacon on the cheeseburger, is this:

If you’re a man, please do not refer to me as “Mis­tress”. I am not John’s Mis­tress, so I am cer­tainly not yours.

What’s more, please write to me in lit­er­ate Eng­lish using proper words and punc­tu­ation, with cor­rect cap­it­al­isa­tion (clue: your name starts with a cap­ital let­ter, and the first-person per­sonal pro­noun starts and ends with one), and don’t even think about using text-speak. You can’t be hanged for that yet, but I sin­cerely hope it’s coming.

No, I’m not a Grammar-Nazi but I am an edu­cated, lit­er­ate woman and I refuse to cor­res­pond with twitch­ing keyboard-jockeys who are prob­ably typ­ing with one hand and banging on the under­side of the desk with the other (yes, you do know what I’m talk­ing about).

:swoons:

They “get it”. Chastity is a fun, exciting kink that works for them. They acknowledge it’s not for everybody, and they aren’t doing it according to some arbitrary set of rules set down by a Gorean obsessed fanatic.

She only has a few posts up, but go visit her and make her feel welcome.

You women just aren’t satisfied, are you?

Since searches on plus size models, Lizzie Miller,  and sexy big women have almost displaced Marina Sirtis on the top search hits, I thought I’d post a sort of follow-up to last year’s articles on Glamour and V magazine’s photo shoots with “plus sized ” (i.e., normal instead of anorexic sized) models.

From an article in The Frisky:

Bigger Models Make Women Feel Bad About Themselves, Too

Dove’s Real Beauty ad campaigns are heralded as groundbreaking forays into being a bit more realistic about how women look. Glamour‘s new habit of featuring regular-sized broads after the publicity deluge the first time they did it, too, is widely praised. But here’s the thing: According to a new study by the University of Arizona, ads featuring bigger models don’t actually make most women feel very good about themselves. Apparently, pretty much everything makes women feel like crap about how they look.

According to the researchers, larger women feel better about themselves when ads don’t include any models at all, average-sized ladies actually have lower self-esteem after looking at ads with plus-sized models rather than uber-skinny ones, and thin folk prefer the traditional tiny models. The study did, however, come up with one icky way bigger models can be used to actually influence product sales: ” … if a normal-size woman sees moderately heavy images in ads for weight-loss products, she might feel overweight and be more inclined to buy a diet plan or gym membership.” This is basically saying ads could use plus-sized models to make women feel bad enough about themselves that they want to spend more money on gym memberships and diet products. [The Cut]

What do you think? Do ads with bigger models make you feel better or worse about your body?

Since this seemed counter-intuitive, I checked the ASU article, which said, in part:

In the experiments, hundreds of female students were categorized as having low, normal or high body mass index (BMI) based on their heights and weights. They were then invited to a lab, but were not told the true nature of the study. They were shown a variety of ads and told to answer several questions, only some of which were truly related to the study. The questionnaires showed the participants’ self-esteem shifted based on the model sizes they saw in the ads and whether they considered themselves to be similar to or different from those sizes.

Low-BMI, thinner women tended to experience a boost in self-esteem when they viewed all models because they identified positively with the thinner models and saw themselves as different from the heavier models. Higher-BMI, heavier women dropped in self-esteem when looking at all models because they saw themselves as different from the thinner, idealized ones and similar to the overweight models.

But that’s okay, because normal sized women would have felt, you know, normal, and right in the middle, right?

Ah, women.

Normal-BMI women had the most shifts in self-esteem, depending on what types of images they saw and could therefore be the most influenced by pictures in ads. For example, if they viewed a moderately thin model, they felt similar and good; if they saw a moderately heavy model, they worried they were similar and overweight.

My own question is whether the results of this study aren’t the result of a chicken-or-egg assumption. In our culture, we are constantly exposed to stick-thin models, and told (visually) that anything over a size 2 needs to cover up. So, is it possible that after a few years of exposure to plus, er, normal sized models such as those in the Glamour and V shoots, women in general would have a perspective, and studies such as this would have a different outcome?

So, what does it take for women to feel better about themselves, anyway?

I’m in chastity, not in-capacitated

People are funny.

I socialize in some online forums in which my profile page links to this blog. Some people check it out, but as far as I can tell, most don’t. We’re all so busy with our own lives that we rarely have time to investigate the interests and writings of others, and that’s fine. I don’t check out all the other profiles, either.

Anyway, it may or may not surprise you to learn that I flirt a little with my online friends. Harmless banter, since a) I have no intention (or desire) of carrying on an online affair, b) I’m not going to do so in public, and c) I’m certainly not going to do it with somebody who lives 2,500 miles away (and in case Mrs. Edge is reading, it’s really just “a” — the other two are invalid).

Apparently, though, somebody checked my profile, perused this blog, and remarked upon some of my virtual eyelid batting with something to the effect of  “How can you flirt like that? Aren’t you locked up?”

Wow. I didn’t realize that slapping a hunk of plastic on my junk made me a non-sexual being. It’s only my cock that’s under control, not my sexuality.

Well, maybe that’s not entirely correct. Apparently, the idea of enforced (i.e., using a device) chastity evokes feelings of humiliation and emasculation, as I learned last year. And along similar lines, there was some discussion over at Thumper’s and Maymay’s about the idea that chastity — or more specifically, orgasm denial — enhances one’s submission (i.e., feelings thereof).

Personally, I’ve been reading so much about what people consider to be “submission” and “submissiveness” that I have decided to disassociate myself from the term altogether; virtually nothing of what I’ve been reading seems to apply to me, so instead of trying to defend my own submissiveness, or more correctly, those certain feelings that I get that I used to associate with submissiveness, I’m just going to move on to some other scale and call it something else. Or maybe I won’t call it anything; I’ll just feel them and describe what I can.

Above case in point — being locked up does not make me feel less manly, less assertive, less randy, or less anything. It makes me feel … more. When I’m locked up for long periods, I still desire to have sex — penetrative sex –and so I still try to ply my manly charms with Mrs. Edge, even though I know I will have to use her strap-on. Why? Because, hearing her moan, feeling her scratch my back, listening to her satisfied sighs — you know, fucking her — makes me feel hot, randy, manly, almost animalistically lustful. And again, that’s what Mrs. Edge enjoys. I’m not being punished, and she doesn’t see me as emasculated. She sees a sexual being — a man — over which she has some control. That makes her hot. And seeing her hot makes me hot. It’s not the denial, it’s the mutual satisfaction.

It’s amusing to see that the selling points for male chastity devices tend to focus on either making your man more “romantic”, or on making him do more household chores. Thumper’s reprint of the old xkcd comic shows that stereotype holds even in the vanilla world — women seem to want manly housemaids. But is this actually true, or is it a stereotype that plays on the idea that sex is something that men want, and  women parcel out according to whim?

Look, Mrs. Edge and I both work full time — more than full time, actually. We’d love to have more maid service around here because by the end of the week we just want to collapse on the sofa. But seriously? She can go to the Korean salon down the street to get her nails done anytime, and since our work, child care, and social schedules dictate who will cook or clean, having “maid service”  from me isn’t a particularly big turn on for her. And frankly, it’s not an especially big turn on for me, either. I mean, I do those things, but they don’t give me any sense of sexual satisfaction — I’m just happy to do them (usually, when it’s not interfering with anything else I happen to be doing) because it seems to increase the overall level of happiness in the relationship. But I don’t sit around daydreaming of her ordering me to pick up her dry cleaning, nor do I get aroused when I see her “expressing her dominance by masterfully directing me” and a handful of others in preparing a dinner for a charity event. I mean, to me, those are just chores. I do them because those are the kinds of things that you do when you have a relationship. Seriously, I’m not even aroused as I write this.

So, obviously there’s something wrong with me, at least with regard to my submissive kink for being controlled. I get up early to make coffee, and bring her a cup when it’s done. But that doesn’t give me a hard-on, nor do I drip with sexual excitement; I do it because I get up earlier to work out, and I like my coffee when I’m done. I run the vacuum around the house once in a while — but I don’t do it in her panties, nor with any hope that doing a nice job will reward me with even more chores; I do it because it needs to get done. I clean the bathrooms, but that’s because she’s doing the laundry. On weeks when I’m not working late, I cook more often. During the warm weather, I clean less often — but that’s because I’m usually outside cutting brush, taking trash to the dump, and doing other yard work.

The other day we were bickering about doing some kitchen chore at the church, when, frustrated, I said “You’re not the boss of me!“

And that sound you suddenly hear is the click-clacking of keyboards as a dozen writers of FLR blogs remove my name from their blogroll.

What are you thinking about?

Sex Therapy

Sorry, it’s Thursday, and I don’t have an HNT for you today.

But for your amusement, we submit the following panel which we found to be rather diverting.

e[lust] #9

HNT Courtesy of Margaret at They Belong to Us

Welcome to e[lust] - your source for sexual intelligence and inspirations of lust from the smartest & sexiest bloggers! Whether you’re looking for hot steamy smut, thought-provoking opinions or expert information, you’re going to find it here. Want to be included in e[lust] #10? Start with the rules, check out the schedule in the site’s sidebar and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Week’s Top Three Posts ~

Start Without Me – It’s for when one of us is too tired, or not in the mood, or out of town, or the other of us is too horny to wait. But now, here, right in front of me, you’re touching yourself, playing yourself, and it is the fucking hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

Wicked Tongues - There are so many different ways that a mouth can connect themselves with my cunt. And so many partners, each with their own way of connecting with me.

“Vanilla” Bigotry – I effectively retired my personal usage of the word “vanilla” when one of these sick fucks told me that he hated that term. He said it was condescending, and the implication that kinky people have any idea what goes on in other people’s bedrooms just because they aren’t fucking around in a dungeon was ridiculous.

~ e[lust] Editress ~

Audible – More hushed giggles, more kissing sounds. A gasp followed immediately by a quiet, restrained moan. I had to make up the images in my head, try to picture what caused that gasp, who’s mouth was on what body part. Or was it even a mouth?

~ Featured Post (Lilly’s Pick) ~

Swing Shift Volume 33- We’re “Sexually Festive!” – What I do know is that I love Veronica now more than ever, that we choose our extra-marital partners with care and respect, and never fail to remember that our primary relationship is the most important one. If we’re considered sluts or promiscuous by others, so what?

See also: Pleasurists #66 and #67 for all your sex toy review needs.

Sex News, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Chastity belt for dogs

I have no idea what to make of this. Is it safe, sane, or consensual? Somehow I doubt it.

Ruff Sex: A Chastity Belt for Dogs

(Feb. 8) – A dog breeder from Louisiana is going back to medieval times to stop the modern-day problem of runaway pet overpopulation. He’s invented a strap-on canine chastity belt.

“I’m all for neutering and spaying,” says Dexter Blanch. “But in some cases, it is a health risk for the dog. In other cases, the pet owner is squeamish about putting the dog through surgery. And then there are people who plan one day to breed their pet.”

PABS for Pets

A Louisiana dog breeder believes that PABS — a modern-day chastity belt for dogs — will help control pet overpopulation.

That’s why Blanch, 51, introduced the Pet Anti Breeding System – or PABS, as he calls it – a polypropylene belt with an eight-buckle locking system and a washable mesh pad for female dogs.

The device allows the pooch to do all its natural bodily functions, except one, of course.

The PABS slogan: “When the heat is on, lock it, and stop it.”

“The dogs can urinate and defecate,” Blanch says. “But they can’t copulate or impregnate.”

Amorous canines won’t get hurt trying to penetrate the PABS sheathing, Blanch claims.

It remains to be seen how pet owners will embrace this device, as it has been on the market for less than two months. Experts preach caution.

“For the majority of animals, spaying and neutering remains the most beneficial option,” says Dr. Kathleen Makolinski, director of veterinary outreach at the ASPCA.

Still, several animal breeders and a veterinarian offer testimonials on the PABS for Pets Web site.

The chastity belt does have one obvious downside, at least for the squeamish. The reusable pad needs to be cleaned.

While a female dog is in heat – a period of 21 days for many breeds – a pet owner would be required to rinse out the mesh area. Blanch figures that’s no different than picking up after your animal companion.

“I love my dogs,” Blanch says. “But when they’re in heat, you can’t keep them inside because it’s messy. And you can’t keep them outside, because when they get in that way they’ll chew through any fence to get out.”

Ironically, a freak injury led Blanch to his invention. He was shot by one of his beagles two years ago in a hunting accident, leaving him with an 8-inch wound.

“I nearly had to face the amputation of an arm,” he says.

In no way did the shooting sour his feelings for his dogs, he says.

“I had a lot of time when I was recuperating to think of a product to help pets and pet owners. I think it’s just a shame that millions of dogs have to be destroyed every year, because of overpopulation.”

Presently, the product is just for dogs. But Blanch says he was contacted by a man in Turkey who wants to know if he can develop a chastity belt for camels.

Such plans, however, are not in the works … at least at the moment.

Filed under: Weird News

What’s that? Why, yes,  of course there’s a video.

You know, I really just can’t think of anything else to add. Just… just no.

Challenging or punishing?

“How long has it been now?” she asked.

I was looking down into her eyes, my weight supported on my elbows, my forearms wrapped around her back. “It’ll be two months at the end of the week,” I replied.

“Two months without coming…”

She bit her lip and tilted her head back, and a small sigh escaped her lips. Her ass, momentarily tense, settled back into the bed.

“Only two months? That’s like nothing,” she said once she got her voice back. “You know, I’m thinking that this really isn’t challenging enough for you anymore.”

“Not challenging? Seriously?”

“Using your other cock makes it too easy. But I really don’t want to let you out of the cage, either.” She pondered this for a few moments as I continued to thrust into her. “Maybe you need something to really think about while you’re locked up. Like, having you fuck me with your real cock more often and not come.”

“Would that make it more of a challenge for me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I need to think of a way to make it more of a punishment…”

She closed her eyes and leaned back as another orgasm washed over her.

Challenging?” I asked, “Or punishing?”

“I’m not sure.”

“Like only allowing me to come with a vibrator?”

“Yeah, like, one minute and it’s all over. That would ruin it for you, wouldn’t it?”

I nodded. “Or, like only allowing me to come while in the cage? You know, just allowing me to leak and then that’s it?”

She opened her eyes and looked at me for a moment. “Or not coming at all,” she said.

I moaned. This was pushing a button.

“Not even leaking?” I asked.

Her arms tightened around my waist, and I felt her fingers tugging at the leather harness I was wearing.

“No, nothing,” she said. “Not even leaking. Not until the end of July.”

“July? I’ve got to wait until vacation?”

Her legs wrapped around my calves, and she pulled me in closer.

“Yeah, I’ll let you out for two weeks in the summer, and you’ll have to fuck me as much as I want.” Her eyes were closed again, and she was breathing hard. “For two weeks you’ll come so much you’ll be sick of it. And then I’ll put you back in the cage…”

“Until next summer…” I finished for her.

She nodded, and pulled my head down to hers. We kissed passionately for a few moments.”And then you’ll have to wait for a whole year to come again.” She pushed her hips up to meet mine. “Tell me,” she said throatily. “Tell me you don’t want to come for a whole year.”

I hesitated.

“Tell me!”

“I… I’m embarrassed.”

She opened her eyes. “What? Why?”

I looked away for a second, then moved down to kiss her again. I pulled her even closer against me and looked down at her. “Because… because I think I’d really want that,” I said. “I want you to control me. I want you to not let me come for a whole year, or however long you want.”

I moaned loudly and stopped thrusting for a few moments.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“I have to hold back,” I explained. “The idea made me really excited.”

And that was pushing her button. “Now that’s what I want to hear,” she said. “That makes you excited, thinking about it, doesn’t it? Doesn’t it?”

“Yes,” I whispered. “I love it when you want to take that control.” I realized that I was aroused and embarrassed at the same time.

Her eyes were closed again, and she was holding me tightly. “Tell me again,” she ordered.

I bent my head down to talk into her ear. “I want you to not let me come for a whole year,” I told her. “If you don’t want me to come or even leak, then that’s what I want, too.” My CB3000 was pressing against her ass with every thrust, and she felt it.

“A whole year,” she repeated. “Only once a year. You’ll have to think about it, want it for a whole year.” She was talking to herself now, her excitement building. “Maybe I won’t even let you leak. Maybe I’ll only give you a minute with the vibrator…” And suddenly she bit into my shoulder, muffling the noises in her throat. I reached my hand down to cup her ass, pulling it as close to me as I could. My ab muscles were straining to keep moving at the right angle for her.

And eventually she collapsed back into the bed, pulling me with her.

“Yeah, that would be challenging,” she said, smiling. “I think I’m going to have to think about this more seriously.”

I expect we’re going to have some interesting conversations in the near future.