To boldly curve where no woman has gone before

Levis, the most popular denim jean in the US, is under fire for retooling their advertising, in which they target “curvier” women, and which aims to attract women of all proportions. The ad motto itself is “Hotness comes in all shapes and sizes.”

This sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it? So, what’s the problem? I mean, who could possibly object to this kid of inclusiveness?

Well, take a look at one of their recent ads:

Oooh, look at that booty! Hmm, I’m loving all those different shapes and siz… Umm… that’s not the same woman Photoshopped in different positions, is it? Because I’m having a hard time telling those asses apart right now.

Alright, maybe it’s just me. How about if I look at one of the other ads?

Okay, that’s three different women; I can tell because they have different hair. The one with the blue jeans seems to have a rounder ass than the one in orange, but maybe it’s just a trick of the light. I know, I’ll try one of the silhouette ads — that should give me a better picture.

Oh, look — here’s an ad in which they specifically call out the shapes:

Wow, those are fine lookin’ women, Levis.  Oh, my, yes indeed. Why, if I had to pick one for an afternoon frolic, I don’t know if I would go for the woman with the, umm,  slight curve… or the woman with the, ehh,  slightly less of a slight curve… or the one with the, er, slightly more of a slight curve.

Not that it matters, because:
a) I’m probably too old to be thinking about getting together with advertising models, and
b) They’re all the same freakin’ size in the first place!

Really, Levi Strauss? Nobody in your marketing division has ever run across a woman larger than a size 6?

I know that some of you will be able to distinguish the models because of slight variances in size and shape, but the point is that for a company that’s advertising “Bold Curves”, you would think that they’d have, oh, I don’t know, a woman who’s a size 12 or 14, if only to show a body that’s more than marginally different from the lineup they currently feature.

Okay, okay — before we get the pitchforks and torches, props to Levis for at least publicly acknowledging that there are women who are not stick-thin models, and who might want to have some attractively, well-designed casual wear. That’s great. But after putting millions of dollars into the advertising, it’s a bit disappointing to see that they weren’t (ahem) bold enough to feature some of women for whom they are designing those jeans.

And since I’m thinking about curvy women in jeans, how about a shot of some women who are probably not a size 6:

Again Ashley

Well, another Valentine’s Day has come and gone (unlike many of my regular readers), so it’s time to see how Ashley Madison is doing. No, not Ashley Graham; Ashley Madison is the now-infamous “dating” site for married people looking to expand their range. Or, as their new advertising motto goes, “Life is short. Have an affair.”

Yes, if you’re looking to hook up with a MILF (or if you are a MILF), then a few minutes registering at AM could put you in touch with hundreds of potential partners.

The reason I mention this now is because a few years ago we learned that Valentine’s Day (actually, the day after) is when AM gets the largest number of new signups from women. The second busiest day, by the way, is the day after Mother’s Day. Partners, especially women, feel underappreciated by a poor showing at those holidays, which spikes their curiosity, or sometimes, simply confirms their ideas that they need somebody new and exciting in their lives.  While men tend to sign up in fairly steadily, holidays tend to see a spike in women’s numbers.

I haven’t run across any numbers for AM signups this year, but since Valentine’s Day was only yesterday, they may not have added it up yet. One think that is adding up, however, is the dollars.  AM charges $49 for 100 messaging tokens. Recent articles suggest that the business may be generating as much as $60 million dollars per year.

Why pick AM when there are so many other options for personal ads? Probably because Craigslist doesn’t have a screening process, and most people don’t want the hassle of buying a secret, non-traceable cell phone; not to mention the fear of giving out personal information to random internet strangers.

I don’t have anything else to add to this post, so I’m going to leave a picture of Ashely Graham, from a 2010 photo shoot for Madison Plus. No, not that Madison — a plus-sized clothing and style magazine.

The Herbivore Men

I spotted this article about a sexuality study in Japan last week, but haven’t had a chance to read it until just now.

A startling number of Japanese youths have turned their backs on sex and relationships, a new survey has found.

The survey, conducted by the Japan Family Planning Association, found that 36% of males aged 16 to 19 said that they had “no interest” in or even “despised” sex. That’s almost a 19% increase since the survey was last conducted in 2008.

If that’s not bad enough, The Wall Street Journal reports that a whopping 59% of female respondents aged 16 to 19 said they were uninterested in or averse to sex, a near 12% increase since 2008.

Normally when you see those kinds of numbers of people uninterested in sex, you expect it to be about older, married couples. Oh, snap!

But this is an interesting turn of events, especially coming on the heels of a recent study which suggested that most teenagers no longer care if they get a car or driving license. Apparently the internet has made the previously unobtainable pleasures in life so commonplace that there’s no longer any pleasure in acquiring them.

Oh, wait – I may have made a hasty assumption. In Japan, the problem seems to be that young men are too busy eating salads.

Many commentators in the Japanese and international media have laid the problem squarely at the feet of soshoku danshi — “herbivore men” — a term coined by pop culture columnist Maki Fukasawa in 2006. It refers to Japanese young men who have rejected their culture’s traditional definition of masculinity, and seemingly eschew relationships with the opposite sex as part.

CNN spoke to a Midori Saida, a 24-year-old Japanese woman who described “herbivore men” as “flaky and weak.”

“We like manly men,” she said. “We are not interested in those boys — at all.”

For some reason, every time I hear the term “manly men” I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. For guys of a certain age, being accused of the somewhat vague “unmanly” tag is a sure-fire way to escalate any argument into a brawl. And lately, I’ve been hearing those undertones in the discussions about “sub” inclined men.

But moving on…

BBC News spoke to one such “herbivore” man (see video above). The man, Yusaki Yakahashi said: “Building a relationship seems like too much effort. To get her to like me and for me to like her… I’d have to give up everything I do at the weekend for her. I don’t want to do that.”

Dude, I’m totally hip to that.Like, they want you to, you know, go shopping with them, look at curtains, talk about their friends, and, like, you know, do girly stuff. Don’t they know there’s more, well, manly stuff for us to be doing? Things like, umm, updating the video drivers in our PCs so we can play the latest version of Skyrim, for example.

But yeah, for some reason I’m not surprised at the idea that it would be the Japanese that would make sex somehow too inconvenient for real life:

Another theory that seeks to explain Japan’s shrinking population is that Japanese youth spend too much time engaged with technology, living in virtual worlds or settling for virtual girlfriends rather than real ones.

Now, that’s difficult to believe… isn’t it?

When orgasms are not the best part of sex

I suspect that most of my readers are men who are interested in “enforced” male chastity and orgasm denial and/or control. The more mature readers, that is, the  fanatics  aficionados of orgasm denial have often been pleasantly surprised to discover that when they take their own orgasm out of the sexual play, that they learn to become more appreciative of the sensual side of their play. Indeed, chastity and OD web boards are rife with men waxing poetic about their love and appreciation for their partner, and how they no longer focus on their own climax.  In fact, forum and blog posts of that nature are so common that it’s rapidly becoming a sexual trope.

That’s why I think that some of you may be interested in reading about this from the perspective of somebody who is about as far from being a mature man as you can get.

In her post “Orgasms aren’t my favorite part of sex,” well-known kink educatress Clarisse Thorn writes:

[It may help some people] not to prioritize orgasms. I am not saying orgasms aren’t important; I just don’t want the importance of orgasms to wound you, the way it wounded me. For me, it is helpful to imagine sex as a journey. For me, it helps to focus on having fun throughout, instead of doing what it takes to reach the “goal” of orgasm. If you’re not taking pleasure in the journey — or at least indulging some curiosity — then why keep going? Why not stop and try something else?

Experimenting sexually in an open-ended way has been, for me, the most productive possible attitude. And in fact, once I knew how to make myself come, I discovered that — though it’s helpful to be able to attain that release if I really want to — orgasms aren’t actually my favorite part of sex! There are lots of other things I like better.

It’s also worth noting that our definitions of “orgasm” are fairly narrow. Some research indicates that there may be other ways to conceptualize orgasms than the stereotypical genital-focused approach.

And as that weren’t enough food for thought, she goes on to mention:

It may be ironic that I spent so much time feeling terrible and broken and depressed because I couldn’t figure out how to have orgasms … whereas now I prefer not to focus on them. In fact, I estimate that most of my current sexual encounters don’t include my orgasm, and very few of my most pleasurable sexual encounters have included my orgasm.

[...]

And …. (Oh no, I can already tell this is going to get complicated … but hey, sex is complicated, so I’ll give it a shot.) …. Especially when I’m doing BDSM, it can actually be hot sometimes if I don’t have an orgasm. For example: if I go to sleep so turned on that I can’t dream about anything but my partner, and then I wake up in a damp mess, and then my partner makes my life difficult all morning, it’s pretty awesome. (Although it’s very nice that I know how to give myself orgasms now, because that means that if I’m really feeling overwhelmed by my own sexual energy, I know how to give myself release if I have to. You know, like … if I need to get some work done.)

Clarisse Thorn is one of the most insightful kink bloggers I know. If you find yourself becoming a bit bored with the usual web board and sex blogging fare, then I urge you to add Clarisse to your regular reading.

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And for those of you following American football, here’s a picture of Madonna to get you into the mood for her performance at the half-time show in the upcoming Superbowl.

Help a sister out

My new BFF Dishevelled Domina and I have been kicking around the idea that the terms “dominance” and “submission” in a sexual context might have too much cultural baggage to be useful, especially to new people looking for just a little play. That prompted her to ask to interview a number of “submissive” guys last year, the results of which she posted over the course of a few months.

In the interests of further research, she would love to hear from women who do not necessarily identify as dominant, but who do enjoy taking charge or running the show in the bedroom. Here is her actual invitation:

If you are a woman who likes to decide the how and when of sex, I have some questions for you. You needn’t consider yourself a dominatrix or even claim the title dominant woman. If you enjoy taking the lead in bed or setting the pace sexually, I’d like to know a little more about you. Female sexuality is incredibly diverse and if you are a woman who prefers to be more in control than your partner then you are the kind of gal I want!

Please email me at dishevelleddomina (at) gmail (dot) com.

I think that this is a great idea. Mrs. Edge definitely does not self-identify as a domme, but certainly enjoys directing traffic. If this sounds like you, please drop her a note or visit her blog. We’d love to hear your side of the story.

And for no good reason, I’m including a picture of Gillian Anderson not being a latex-clad dominatrix.