“I like it when you’re mean to me,” I’ve told Mrs. Edge a handful of times in the recent past.
Now, you know what I mean by that, right? Good, because I’ve come to realize that I really don’t know what I mean, myself. Maybe you can explain it to me.
I hadn’t thought much about it until I ran across a recent post by Mistress Ivey, and the discussion made me give some serious thought to what I’m looking for when I say things like this. As I’ve mentioned in the past, for us, chastity and denial are not a punishment — they are an enhancement to our relationship, soin the context of our marriage longer “sentences” aren’t, say, a consequence for bad behavior.
Mrs. Edge is not inherently cruel or sadistic, and she doesn’t take pleasure in seeing me humiliated (nor do I kink on that); rather, she enjoys having the control. Her enjoyment of control dovetails nicely with my desire to have her take it works for us, so keeping me locked up or ruining my orgasms (her latest fascination) aren’t done to belittle me; they are done because we both find it an enjoyable experience, at least in the long run.
With that said, now I”m not sure what I mean, myself, when I think about her being “mean.” Since she already has control over the orgasms — which are not granted very often — I never know when to expect one, so essentially my mindset is that I never expect one. So, without the expectation of an orgasm, maybe telling her that I like her being “mean” isn’t very descriptive.
So, what is it that I want? Any ideas on how to sort this out?
And in keeping with the theme of denial…