Safe (Senior) Sex

Social conventions change slowly… but they do change. This means that we need to keep abreast of the latest trends in order to provide support when and where it’s needed.

What am I going on about? Old people are having sex. No, seriously.

More specifically, unmarried old people are having sex without the awareness of the precautions that younger people now take for granted. The rate of senior citizens with Sexually Transmitted Diseases has skyrockted over the last ten years, with no appearance of slowing down for the foreseeable future.

Fortunately, some people had the foresight to get on this. Safer Sex for Seniors is a new website offering up tips, advice, and information for seniors interested in pursuing an active sex life. It’s an example of a good, informational website that doesn’t presuppose that all of it’s users will be cis-gendered straight married couples; the sidebar informational links to PDFs on topics ranging from Bisexuality, to Transgender issues, to condom use, to one’s sexual rights while in institutional care, to using adult toys.

Safer Sex for Seniors produced a short video that highlights the issues of “safe sex” STD prevention, while keeping a light-hearted tone that’s not patronizing. Apparently, we’ve learned something since the big sexual education programs of the 1980s.

I know that some of you are looking at these pictures of what are, frankly, older and out-of-shape people posing in what might be some of your own favorite positions, and are wondering if you’ll ever feel comfortable around your parents or grandparents again. You need to keep in mind that there is no age at which one suddenly loses sexual desire. You also need to learn that the images that you’re looking at in this post, and on the SS4S’s cute poster are pretty much what all of us have to look forward to when we’re past retirement age.

Personally, I find that as I get older, I’m still attracted to women my own age, and occasionally find myself wondering what lies ahead, sexually speaking, when I’m in my 70s or 80s.

The only drawback about the SS4S website (and their Twitter account) is that I’m having a hard time imagining enough seniors savvy enough with the internet to access their website. That is, are the seniors who are not familiar with the internet the same ones that could benefit the most from this information? And does anyone have any ideas on how to promote this message to those who really need it?

Rantage

Okay, if you’re here for some new wank fodder, you’re out of luck. Go visit my Tumblr or something, while I vent. Go on.

Last evening we went to a fancy-schmancy dinner party for a friend’s birthday; he’s the “baby” of our particular social circle, having just turned 50 (I’m the next youngest, having reached that age almost 3 years ago). So, I’m sitting around the table talking some of our other friends, and a few of them suggested that we meet regularly in a newly-opened  local pub. “It’s for older people,” one of them said.

“What?” I asked. “How do you market for ‘older folk’ when you’re a pub?”

“Well, that’s what they’re doing,” somebody else said. “They’re trying to keep the kids out.”

“How does that work? What, do they play Frankie Vallee  and doo-wop music?”

Another one nodded, seriously. “And none of that rap music and head banger stuff, either.”

“But… but I like rap music, ” I responded. And then — quite uncharacteristically — I shut up as I imagined several dozen of my friends sitting around, drinking pitchers of light beer and waxing nostalgic about the good old days. And then I walked into the next room to see what the children of my friends were up to.

Look, I understand if you don’t like rap music. Or any other kind of music, for that matter; we don’t all have the same tastes, and that’s actually a good thing. But I can’t stand it when my peers start acting like my freaking grandparents.

Pretty soon, the weather will be warmer — and lighter — in the morning, so I’ve been slowly getting things together to get a start on my morning bike rides. You may remember that last year I supplemented my weight lifting with cycling on alternating days, and took a longer ride on the weekend. And it paid off; my blood pressure was down, my heart rate was excellent, and I wore a smug expression as I tweeted the stats on different rides, much to the dismay of my friends who remained chair-bound.

“What the hell are you doing lifting weights at your age?” they would ask. “What’s with all the damn bike riding?” My answer was essentially this: “I’m lifting weights now so when I’m 70, I’ll be able to more than just lift a six-pack or the remote. Feel free to de-friend me if you don’t want to read my posts.”

Anyway, it was a coincidence that yesterday morning I was looking for a different music player for my Android phone (AT&T Captivate / Galaxy S). I installed MixZing and at the moment I’m looking the artists on the  playlist that I made up for my bike rides. In no particular order:

• Offspring
• AC-DC
• Beastie BOys
• Van Halen
• Cake
• Judas Priest
• The Clash
• Cypress Hill
• Frankie Goes to Hollywood
• Aerosmith
• B-52s
• Barenaked Ladies
• Green Day
• Patti Smith
• Run DMC
• Sir Mixalot
• Talking Heads
• Billy Idol
• Third Eye Blind
• Twisted Sister
• Blink 182
• ZZ Top
• Tone Loc
• Rezillos
• Ramones
• Pink
• Nirvana
• Doug E. Fresh & Slick Rick
• New Radicals
• Metallica
• MC Hammer
• Madonna
• Korn
• Lady Gaga

Right now, I’m charging the phone via a USB cable to my laptop, and I’ve got “You’ve Got Another Thing Coming” blasting, and if I can figure out which Linux based player is better (I’ve been running Mint and Ubuntu on my old Dell), I’ll be sharing the tunes across my home network.

Do I sound like a fifty-something year old guy?

That was a trick question.  As I’m only a few months away from 53, obviously the answer is “yes“.  The real question in my mind, however, is why so many other 50-something year old guys don’t act like this. I’m not talking about the guys in a mid-life crisis who suddenly realize that they’re not teenagers anymore, and who run off with a hot blonde and a cool car, although that, really, is a symptom of a larger problem. No, I’m wondering what happens to people that at some point in their lives, they stop learning and appreciating anything new.

Last year at another dinner party, several of my friends didn’t know any popular musicians since the early 80s. Seriously? How do you manage that? Some of my friends are actually proud of their ignorance of  cell phones, digital anything, and computers in general, and believe me, I cringe every time an old high school bud finds me on Facebook. “HI TOM!!! I FINALLY GOT A COMPUTER SO I COULD SEE MY GRANDKIDS ON FACEBOOK. PLEASE ADD ME TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST!!! AND WHY DO YOU ALWAYS POST ABOUT YOUR BIKE RIDES? ARENT YOU TOO OLD FOR THAT? LOL!!”

Jesus H Christ in a bucket.

Okay, look. I love my friends. That’s why I allow them to hang out with me, and all. And they must love me, because, really, they must in order to put up with the crap that I give them for being the way they are.  But why do some people completely shut out current or popular culture after they hit 20, 30, 40, or whenever? I’ve sat with them at dinner and listened to them complain about “kids today” without the least sense of irony, or even realization that they used to complain about their parents saying the exact same freaking thing. I mean, these are people that lived through the 60s and 70s, for crying out loud.  Former hippies, Dead followers, the sexual revolution, FM radio, even disco. The 60s and 70s were all about cultural change; so why are they so freaking stuck back there?

Yes, I’m annoyed. I’m annoyed that the more I look around, the more lonely I feel. Sure, I’m surrounded by people, but they’re slowly turning into old people. The way things are going, by the time I’m 60, my friends will be zombies; I’ll recognize their bodies, but mentally, we won’t have anything in common anymore. They will have become the walking dead.

Why am I the only one that seems to see this?

It’s a living

Pity poor Shigeo Tokuda, who is still working even after he retired from his travel agency job.

From the Globe & Mail (UK):

Husband, grandfather, retiree – and a Japanese porn star

Mark MacKinnon
Tokyo— From Monday’s Globe and Mail
Published Sunday, Oct. 03, 2010 10:14PM EDT
Last updated Monday, Oct. 04, 2010 4:36PM EDT

It’s said that everyone has a secret. What was unique about Shigeo Tokuda’s fib was that everything he wasn’t telling his wife and daughter was on recorded on hundreds of videos, and that thousands of admirers knew exactly who he was and what he was trying to hide.

For a long time, Mr. Tokuda was not just the world’s oldest porn star, he was perhaps its most anonymous. His family didn’t know where the 76-year-old really went and what he did when the retired travel agent pulled on his blazer and went off to “work” in the morning.

But among his fans – and there are enough of them to justify the making of at least one new film a month – Mr. Tokuda is the superstar of the rising genre of “elder porn,” movies that feature older actors (at least the male ones) and plotlines in which the growing number of Japanese senior citizens (again, at least the males) can picture themselves. His most famous role is as a senior citizen who acts anything but his age with an assortment of nurses, as well as with his twentysomething daughter-in-law.

[...]

Mr. Tokuda’s secret blew up in his face two years ago, when a lengthy fax arrived at his Tokyo home that his 35-year-old daughter was the first in the family to lay eyes on: the script to Prohibited Elderly Care Vol. 20. It didn’t take her long to figure out what it was she was reading and which role her father – who also stars in a series called Maniac Training of Lolitas – was cast to play.

“The whole story was right there, so it was obvious what kind of movie it was,” Mr. Tokuda says, grimacing a bit at the memory. In person, the father of two and grandfather of one looks the part he plays: an elderly Japanese any man, standing 5-foot-3 with just a few wisps of white hair covering his shining scalp, and a smile dominated by oversized front teeth.

And most people are simply concerned about a family member discovering a few sex toys.

But while his daughter was “shocked” at her discovery, Mr. Tokuda says his wife was unbothered to find out about his raunchy part-time profession. “My wife lets me do whatever I want now that I’m retired,” he says. “She’s just concerned about my health and tells me not to work too hard.”

I’m sorry. I had to go back and read that again.

“There’s no jealousy as far as I can tell. But last year while I was drinking with my wife in Asakusa [a neighbourhood of Tokyo], someone came up to me and asked for an autograph. She was surprised, but it didn’t lead to an argument. She understands it’s a job and she trusts me.”

Okay, just so we’re clear on all this.

[...]

He said he has occasionally acted with women closer to his own age, including 71-year-old Fujiko Ito, whom he shared the screen with a few years ago. But there isn’t the same audience for movies starring older women as there is for films about older men still able to attract women a third their own age.

[...]

While he says he still enjoys his job, Mr. Tokuda says he’s thinks he may retire for good some time in the not too distant future. “I think I’ll stop when I’m 80,” he says, sounding uncertain of the words.

And what will he do then? “I don’t know. Maybe spend more time going hiking with my wife.”

Okay, so maybe it’s more of a hobby, a desire to keep busy. I do recommend reading the entire article here.

A lot of guys joke that they would like to have a job such as this, but very few of us can look as ugly as Ron Jeremy, et alia. But after looking at some of the websites on which “elder porn” is being reported, I get the impression that it’s less about having a 12″ schlong, and more about simply the fantasy role play. Interesting, too, are the comments on these sites. “Disgusting,” “Old guy sex? Ugh!” and “Who the hell would want to see this?” are typical, although the Globe & Mail are more accepting.

So, knowing that quite of few of you are middle-aged, I wonder how many of  us will still be looking at porn when we’re 70 or 80?

Vanilla. But erotic.

Those of you who troll the net looking for oddities may have stumbled across this little gem that’s been circulating. Chances are that a friend of your forwarded this to be titillating, albeit in a squeamish, squickish way.

Yes, it’s meant to weird you out a bit. Marketing Magazine has their own take on it:

Science World hopes to raise a few eyebrows and possibly some squirming with the release of its latest viral YouTube ad that launched this week.

“Ice Creamy Goodness,” by Vancouver-based Rethink, shows several elderly women enjoying ice cream cones, including one memorable shot of grandma in the hospital licking ice cream from her finger. The ad ends with the copy: “Vanilla is the most erotic scent to older men” and the tag line “We can explain.”

Interestingly, despite my own advanced years (I’m 51), I looked at this and said “Holy shit – those people are old!”

I’m enheartened (is that a real word?)) to see that the usual Youtube denizens haven’t yet spewed the usual “Ugh, that’s disgusting” comments at the several videos available.

Coincidentally, this comes out just as I was looking at an article in the AARP magazine about “sexting” and related phone shenanigans among the retired (i.e., over 60) crowd. I’m still disappointed at the comments I’ve read implying that younger people think that sex stops at 45 – or when your body puts on an extra 20 pounds. I’m hoping, though, that playful, light-hearted ads like this will inspire in people some degree of acceptance that older people (i.e., people older than me) have their own needs and desires that shouldn’t be discounted.

Maturation

Somebody found my blog through the interesting phrase “Mature Spandex.” I’ve long since given up trying to figure out why certain phrases lead people here (and yes, Marina Sirtis is still in the top 10), but this one caught my eye. I searched on it, just to see what came up, and as I scrolled through the hits, I saw a website promoting a woman named Jilly King. Curious to see what a “mature” woman in spandex looked like, I checked the pictures.

Damn.

My first thought wasn’t “Wow, she’s hot,” or “Jeez, I wish she would…” or even “Get this freakin’ chastity device off of me.” No, my first thought was “She’s mature? She’s younger than I am!”

Holy freakin, cow! I mean, ignoring the part about me not living up to all of the definitions of the word, when did “mature” indicate 30 or maybe 40 years old, instead of, say, 50 or 60?

Okay, not that I’m denying that at 40, one should be considered as mature, at least in some context. But in the world of online erotica, the term “mature” has the connotation of “no longer young.” And when I see that, I’m reading “no longer young enough to be attractive.”

Ouch.

To me, Ms. King is young. Well, at least, younger. And it’s not just her, there are dozens, perhaps hundreds of other women who advertise themselves as “mature,” in hopes that you will pay for a subscription to their website.

Maybe I’m just surprised to discover that I’m now — quite literally –twice the age of most erotic models, and that even the women to whom I am attracted are of an age that now has to be labeled.

Labeled, apparently, because anyone that *enjoys* looking at 40 year old women obviously has a fetish.

Spurting Fountain of Youth

I’ve really been enjoying some of the interesting science and health news lately.

Chemical in sperm ‘may slow ageing process’

Researchers in Austria say that human sperm might be the next weapon in the fight against ageing.

By Tom Chivers
Published: 9:26AM BST 07 Oct 2009

A new study by scientists at Graz University found that spermidine, a compound that is found in sperm, slows ageing processes and increases longevity in yeast, flies, worms and mice, as well as human blood cells, by protecting cells from damage.

Cell ageing happens when a natural process called autophagy – a sort of cellular cannibalism whereby damaged cells or parts of cells are recycled – goes wrong.

Spermidine concentration has been shown to decline with age.

Adding spermidine suppressed various processes associated with ageing, as well as reducing free radicals and increasing lifespan. Treated fruit flies lived 30 per cent longer than untreated ones, while worms lived 15 per cent longer.

While one researcher, Tobias Eisenberg, has been quoted as saying that this is the “holy grail of age research”, and a British newspaper has prophesied the coming of a “wonder pill that could extend lifespan by up to 25 years”, the truth is that human trials, let alone treatment, are a very long way off.

In an article titled “Key to a long life found (again)”, the patient information website NHS Choices points out that while this is an exciting area for future research, it will take many more years of study including lab tests and further animal trials before it can be safely tested on humans.

The article also points out that this is at least the second elixir of eternal youth that has been ‘discovered’ in the last few months.

===============

So, someday they might make a pill. That’s great, but for anyone who wants to get a head start, I’m willing to be a donor. Right from the source.

Just thought I’d mention it, is all.

This Old Body

I saw this picture in the Sunday paper, along with an article about this man and some of his work. You are looking at a recent picture of Dr. Jeffry Life.

Dr. Life was 67 years old at the time this picture was taken.

If you ignore that he has a head that looks like your grandfather, then this guy is pretty ripped. Hell, I didn’t have that body when I was 20.

And yes, he’s a doctor, and probably has plenty of money to spend on personal trainers, exercise equipment, vitamins, and human growth hormone (which he advocates taking). But here’s the more amazing thing: until he was 62, he looked just like you’d expect an older, semi-retired guy to look. But at 62, tired of bad eating habits and poor health, he decided to change. He entered a contest sponsored by the Body for Life fitness gurus, and within a few months pretty much turned his life around. The shirtless shot to the right was taken 5 years after the “After” shot, below.

Okay, he’s an old guy who can afford to work out a lot. Big, fat, hairy deal, right?

Interestingly, Gloria Brame saw the same article and wrote that

“I was so overwhelmed by mixed feelings — most of them negative.”

She and her commenters go on to mention the use of steroids and growth hormones, and not without reason. And to some people, the idea of a 70 year old guy putting that much work into looking that young seems to go beyond vanity and into wishful thinking. And to some extent I agree; I have no desire to pump myself with hormones simply to start looking good. But for some people, the diet, exercise, and even hormone use isn’t about looking good, it’s about staying young – or at least, keeping one’s body in as young a state as possible so as to make life more enjoyable while growing old.

I’ve shown this pic to a few people, most of whom wrinkled their faces or made “Eewww” sounds; everybody knows that a 67 year old guy is supposed to look like the “Before” shot. There’s just something about a guy close to 70 that’s supposed to be so not sexy, right? One younger friend said “Gawd, if you covered up his face, I’d say he’s hawt. But that’s just… too weird. Eeww!”

Is this a situation like the complaint that Kim Cattrall is too old to be having sex? Do we expect both men and women of a “certain age” to sit in their reclining chairs with the drink and TV remote pockets, watching Jeopardy and waiting for the early bird specials? Or have our societal expectations not quite caught up to our statistical trends of aging, fitness, and health? I’m remembering a conversation with some friends years ago, in which most of them talked longingly about their coming retirement, and an age in which they would be able to hang around and eat all of those “bad things” that were filled with cholesterol and sugar. When I pointedly mentioned that I planned to be pretty much unchanged (and this was before my current weight loss), they scoffed .

Scoffed, I tell you! And then they said something to me about going gently into that good night, and being comfortable in my old age.

I know that this past year I’ve had a lot of posts on aging and sexuality, but that’s because I really do not see what’s attractive (and I mean that in the general sense, not the sexual sense) about not being healthy enough to enjoy one’s senior years. I’m not talking about weight or appearance, I’m talking about being able to get up and down stairs, to do yard work, to walk long distance, and to keep up with the grandchildren.

Anyway, back to Dr. Life. Is he sexy or merely a freakish curiosity?

So shallow

Is there anything that brings out the shallow, the vain, and the insecurities like a high school reunion?

My graduating class committee seems to plan get-togethers not only at the decade, but at other points, too. I’ve missed a few because I already had other plans, but I do try to attend them when I can. I rarely – as in “never” – see anyone from my hometown, which sometimes makes it awkward because I can’t remember anybody anymore.

I was one of those kids who was just, you know, average. I wasn’t in any particular clique, nor did I tend to stay with any group for very long. I wasn’t in the cool clique, I didn’t sit with the dweebs, nor was I a stoner or a jock. I did float around a bit, though, and while I had some friends back then, once I went off to college, I just sort of stopped having any reason to stay in touch. Not because I had a bad time in school – I have very few bad memories of that time, and quite a few good ones – it’s just because I moved on to other things.

We had a small get-together over the Thanksgiving weekend at a place in the next town from where I live now; the small New England town in which we grew up still not having much in the way of gathering places that aren’t either converted bars, or extant barns. So I dragged Mrs. Edge, who is a surprisingly good sport about such things, and we made an evening of it.

This not being one of the “big” reunions, only about 80 people showed up, and many of them didn’t even bring a spouse. And I have to confess that the first thing that ran through my mind – in fact, the only thing that ran through my mind for the first hour – was seeing how well my classmates held up over the years, and how they compared to me.

Okay, there. I said it. I just wanted to gloat and feel superior to the jocks and cool kids who were always so full of themselves, and to the stuck-up girls who wouldn’t give me the time of day back in school.

Jeez Belize – what a shallow, conceited attitude. I should be well past that now, you know?

Of course, you have to understand that compared to the majority of my old classmates, I really did age rather well. Half the guys looked closer to 60, and not a few of them looked like they followed the teachings of that paragon of youth, Keith Richards. And I’m sure I don’t have to mention that I wore my new skinny pants (‘cos I’m down another size again – yay me!). Once satisfied, however, I sipped on a scotch and just chatted with my old buds.

And the women? A few of them still looked pretty good, actually, despite weight gain and wrinkles. I had a perverse pleasure in seeing that some of the girls from the cool clique who used to be particularly snobbish were more like lizards than cougars. Most of the women, though, were just older. I was pleased to see that Mrs. Edge – the same age – actually fared better.

She was amazed that so many people recognized me, even thought they hadn’t seen me in over 10 or 20 years. But we found a yearbook, and I showed her my graduation picture. I really haven’t changed that much; my hair is gray and shorter, but somehow the 25 more pounds I’m carrying since then aren’t showing up in my face and neck, which is what makes people look so much different when they’re older. And actually, I was embarrassed not to have recognized most of my old friends for precisely those reasons.

Overall, though, it was enjoyable, and I managed to get over my being full of myself and on the way home started feeling a bit embarrassed about my attitude earlier. Chatting with an old girlfriend, we were surprised at how many of our friends remained in town, or moved back to it in their 20s. No judgment implied – people should live where they are comfortable, after all. Hell, I’ve even thought that it might be good for my own daughter if we were to move out of the ‘burbs and back to the sticks. . . but then, she doesn’t have the same perspective on it that I do. And Mrs. Edge being a city girl, it would be too much like Northern Exposure or Green Acres for their tastes.

I promise that I’ll be much better for the next one. Really.

And of course, I’m glad that I went, because it also gave me some emotional preparation for the next big event: the family reunion at Christmas.

For elderly, sex doesn’t have to get old

Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:47am EDT

By Andrew Stern

CHICAGO (Reuters) – Getting old does not mean saying so long to sex, U.S. researchers said on Wednesday.

More than three-quarters of American men aged 75 to 85 and half of women that age are still interested in sex, a survey of the elderly by University of Chicago researchers found.

“It’s not age per se; that when you get to 80 it’s all over with,” said sociologist Edward Laumann, who led the study of 3,000 American men and women aged 57 to 85 who lived at home, not in nursing homes.

“It’s driven by more proximate factors such as if you become obese, or you’re smoking too much, or you contract diabetes. Medications can depress sexual interest. The aging process itself is not a major factor driving these results,” he said in a telephone interview.

Laumann and his team, who performed a companion survey of younger adults nearly a decade ago, found that sexual dysfunction such as experiencing pain during sex or an inability to achieve orgasm tend to increase as adults reach middle age but then plateaus.

In the survey of elderly Americans, two-thirds of the men and nearly half the women had been sexually active in the past year, they reported in the Journal of Sexual Medicine.

The reasons for losing interest in sex are wrapped up in several physical and mental health factors, Laumann said.

“If sexual health goes to hell, it may be a canary in the mine shaft. It may be a sign of health problems,” Laumann said, urging doctors to investigate if sexual problems arise.

Chronic urinary tract infections and incontinence often suppress sex lives, he said.

Having a partner to have sex with can also be problematic for the elderly. Among women aged 70 and older, 70 percent have outlived or are separated from their spouses. Among men in that age group, 35 percent have lost a long-time partner.

If the surviving relationship is bad, that can snuff out the couple’s sex life, Laumann added.

“Anxiety is very clearly a big factor (in sexual dysfunction) for women, and depression in men,” he said. “And men can become very depressed because of sexual dysfunction.”

Erectile dysfunction increases from 31 percent among men aged 57 to 64 to more than 40 percent among older men. Laumann said he had found in other research that 14 percent of men of all ages had tried erectile dysfunction drugs.

Those who have attended college are less likely to have sexual problems than the less-educated, Laumann said, presumably because the educated tend to dismiss myths about sex and aging and are more likely to seek out answers.

Last month, Swedish researchers reported that 70-year-olds of both sexes are having more sex than they did 30 years ago, with 68 percent of married men and 54 percent of women saying they were having sex in 2001, up from 52 percent of men in the early 1970s and 30 percent of women.

(Editing by Maggie Fox)

From Reuter’s News 8/13/2008

=====

Well.

Back in the late 1960s and early 1970ss, there was a TV show in the US called “Laugh-In” that featured fast-paced skits, quips, and of course, the ubiquitous fake news show. One of the regular features was an actor who played a very aged man that frequently made suggestive comments to the (younger and attractive) women on the show, and occasionally to another actor playing an older woman. He was always rebuffed, sometimes physically; the implication was that he was a “dirty” old man. The message that sunk into my pre-teen mind from that and other shows, was that at some point in life, sex was going to be a bad thing, so you’d better get it out of your system when you were young, because past (whatever “old” was) nobody was going to want to have it with you.

The amazing thing is that in the last 40 years, society has learned to be okay with non-married sexuality and homosexuality. We’ve learned to accept masturbation as normal, and we even give suggestions in some schools, relative to safety and disease.

So, why are we still not okay with old people having sex?

Is it because we’re not beautiful? Is it because we’ve got wrinkles? Some extra body fat? Hair growing out of various places? Scars, warts, liver spots?

Is it simply because we’re not young?

I’m going to remind you what media blog Gawker wrote about Kim Cattrall in their review about her new cable TV show:

The positively ancient fifty-something coital acrobat has signed on to play the lead in a new series [...]

Hopefully by the time that I’m *cough*old*cough* societal attitudes will have changed, and I’ll be able to have sex with out feeling like I’m a “dirty old man.”

HNT: Ridden hard & put away wet

No, you silly people, that’s a term from the horsey set, not the BDSM set. But it’s essentially what happened to me as I was trying to lose 5 pounds on a vacation. The occasion is Mrs. Edge’s family reunion, and instead of being cooped up in an oversized cottage on the Carolina shore with a dozen and a half in-laws, I decided to make time to be out of the house for a while. It’s tough, because most of the time they are cooking and eating. The kitchen is awash in cookies, chips, donuts, cake, sausages, bacon, cheeses, potatoe salad, and pretty much everything else that I’m trying to avoid for the next few months.

And yes, the parallel with the orgasm denial which Mrs. Edge and I sometimes practice has provided me with a few moments of ironic humor, especially when I’ve cooked a few things that everyone raves about, but which I won’t eat.

Anyway, the shoreline highway has been long, flat, and beckoning. Here’s a few shots of me mugging it up at the various mileposts. On this particular day, I started out too late in the morning, and got a bit overheated on the way home. I pulled over to the side of the road and waded into the ocean to cool off, shoes and all. And when I made it home, I waded into the pool exactly the same way.

I’ve scheduled this post to show up later, so I’ll have been back for several days when this gets published. The weather has been great so far; it’s hot and sunny, so I’ve been keeping my shirt on when I ride, and using suncreeen before I head out.

And no, I’m not wearing a sweater. I’m posing shirtless for the handful of readers who prefer the “natural” look on a man.