HNT – Early Bike Season

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. No HNTs from me in ages.

Sorry, sorry. Been busy and all that. But because so many of you have been clamoring (well, okay, a few of you asked nicely) I’ll try to get back into it.

We’ve had unseasonably nice weather up in New England, so this weekend I pulled the road bike out of the back corner of the garage, pumped up the tires, and went for a 15 mile spin – first I’ve been on it since November. About 4 or 5 miles in, I realized that over the winter, the frost heaves made the hills steeper. Oh, and somebody must have moved the saddle position, because my butt is freakin’ sore, as are my legs and back and arms…

Anyway, I don’t normally bike in jeans, but I don’t have any long, stretchy pants, and I was worried that I would be a little chilly. Turns out that after a couple of miles, I was already overheated. So, here’s me in my tight, stretchy lycra shirt, and some old, baggy jeans.

I managed not to put on too much muffin top over the winter, no thanks to my wife and daughter who keep baking up a storm every week.  Why do women do that?

I’m waiting for the weather to warm up just a little bit more so I can squeeze into those tight spandex bike shorts.  Those things are like Spanx  for men, but they do round out my butt pretty nicely.

So, for all of you who have been dying to see pictures of a 50+ year old, gray-haired guy, well, here’s your fix.

To boldly curve where no woman has gone before

Levis, the most popular denim jean in the US, is under fire for retooling their advertising, in which they target “curvier” women, and which aims to attract women of all proportions. The ad motto itself is “Hotness comes in all shapes and sizes.”

This sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it? So, what’s the problem? I mean, who could possibly object to this kid of inclusiveness?

Well, take a look at one of their recent ads:

Oooh, look at that booty! Hmm, I’m loving all those different shapes and siz… Umm… that’s not the same woman Photoshopped in different positions, is it? Because I’m having a hard time telling those asses apart right now.

Alright, maybe it’s just me. How about if I look at one of the other ads?

Okay, that’s three different women; I can tell because they have different hair. The one with the blue jeans seems to have a rounder ass than the one in orange, but maybe it’s just a trick of the light. I know, I’ll try one of the silhouette ads — that should give me a better picture.

Oh, look — here’s an ad in which they specifically call out the shapes:

Wow, those are fine lookin’ women, Levis.  Oh, my, yes indeed. Why, if I had to pick one for an afternoon frolic, I don’t know if I would go for the woman with the, umm,  slight curve… or the woman with the, ehh,  slightly less of a slight curve… or the one with the, er, slightly more of a slight curve.

Not that it matters, because:
a) I’m probably too old to be thinking about getting together with advertising models, and
b) They’re all the same freakin’ size in the first place!

Really, Levi Strauss? Nobody in your marketing division has ever run across a woman larger than a size 6?

I know that some of you will be able to distinguish the models because of slight variances in size and shape, but the point is that for a company that’s advertising “Bold Curves”, you would think that they’d have, oh, I don’t know, a woman who’s a size 12 or 14, if only to show a body that’s more than marginally different from the lineup they currently feature.

Okay, okay — before we get the pitchforks and torches, props to Levis for at least publicly acknowledging that there are women who are not stick-thin models, and who might want to have some attractively, well-designed casual wear. That’s great. But after putting millions of dollars into the advertising, it’s a bit disappointing to see that they weren’t (ahem) bold enough to feature some of women for whom they are designing those jeans.

And since I’m thinking about curvy women in jeans, how about a shot of some women who are probably not a size 6:

Druthers

So, what is sex and gender and about, really, when you get right down to it?

There is an interesting discussion happening on the Reddit Sex group, in which responders are shown a picture and asked to choose between two different hypothetical partners; one being  A) a masculine looking pre-op FtM (Buck Angel, for anyone interested), and the other being B) a feminine looking pre-op MtF (which has been identified as Camila Rodrigues). The purpose of this question is to, essentially, screw with your mind as you try to reconcile the differences between them; that is, do you want the pussy or the penis, depending upon the rest of the, er, package?

The Reddit members tended to be straight males, and overwhelmingly picked B, the MtF. A handful, of self-identified gay men not unsurprisingly picked A. More interestingly, a smattering of straight women also responded, most picking B, as well.

Imagine an alien sociologist, his early research spent studying our broadcast media, being confused by the answers; after all, aren’t men supposed to be typically thinking with their dicks? That means the straight guys should have preferred A, since it was the only body with a vagina. Here’s one take on it by one of the very few men who picked A:

Straight male here and I choose A. I like vagina so much that I won’t mind the masculine frame. Plus it all feels similar in the dark right?

However, a small number of others waffled the question like this:

Straight Male: A with a paper bag over his head and from behind. B with no paper bag but from behind.

Apparently, something else is happening here that’s not as obvious to someone unfamiliar with Western culture. Since I also would have picked, B, in the absence of any in-depth discussion on the group, I’m going to offer up the non-obvious hypothesis that for most people, sexual preference is not a specifically genital-oriented function; rather, the more important (although less overt) factors are cultural instead of physiological. Cultural, in the sense that although we associate women with vaginas, it’s also important — perhaps even more important — to associate women with other variables such as smooth skin (vis a vis razor stubble and facial hair), softer, rounder features, and less muscle definition.

One respondent summed up my own feelings perfectly:

Straight guy here and I would go for B. I’d have a problem going to town on a guy with a pussy who looks more manly than I do.

I’m going to suggest that these additional characteristics aren’t obvious (or at least, as obvious); however, they are likely overshadowed because normally we don’t expect women to be anything else. In fact, women who are not “womanly” (nicely styled hair, svelte shape, welcoming attitude, etc.) are often assumed to be lesbians. For that matter, mannish (fsv of “mannish”) women are not even “proper” lesbians, but “dykes”. There’s simply no other conception of “people with vaginas” except attractive straight women, attractive lesbians, and dykes.  This is probably one of the reasons that “she-males”, that is, MtF pre-op women, are a somewhat popular sub-genre of porn, while FtM porn (hell, we don’t even have a cute moniker for them) barely ranks; even with a penis, they (she-males) at least have the overall appearance of a sexually available woman.

This is why the picture and question are so fascinating — it underlines our cultural paradigms of what straight male sexuality should find desirable.

And interesting, too, is that the straight men who picked B but who also qualified their choice in some way usually did so with respect to penetrative intercourse. I suppose that I could tie this into a chastity-related post by talking about how more open men become to exploring alternative sexualities once their tonker is locked up. And while it’s true that without having your penis driving the bus you do tend to perceive sex differently, this isn’t really analogous.

The point of this set of pictures is that there is something going on underneath our cultural conception of sexuality that bypasses genitalia entirely; something that has less to do with penetration, and is more about our unspoken expectations of masculinity and femininity.

2010 Retro Spective

Yeah, it’s the end of the year; the time that we traditionally are supposed to look back on what we’ve attempted,  what we’ve accomplished, and what we’ve screwed up.

First off, I hardly posted much content at all this past year. There’s some irony in that at the beginning of last year, I had to lay some people off, which meant that I had to do their jobs, leaving me less time to edit during the day – but later in the year, we had a busy period, and took in a lot of orders, which left me little time to edit during the day.

But the primary reason that I didn’t edit during the day was because the hour or so in the morning that I used to reserve for writing was taken over by my new  obsession interest in serious exercising. Three, four, even sometimes five mornings a week I’d get up early, make coffee and set it on a timer, then head down to the  laundry room home gym to pull up, push up, press up, and do a bunch of other oddly named exercises involving muscle and iron.  And as most of you know, when the weather warmed up, on the off days I doffed the sweatpants, donned a spandex shirt, and took my favorite bike on the road for five to fifteen mile jaunts. This continued until October, and now I’m back down to three to four days a week of pumping iron (unless I decide to buy a trainer so I can ride stationary in my garage).

Yeah, yeah, I know – so why aren’t I writing at night? Well, truth is, after working out in the morning, then putting in a 10 hour day at the shop, then then often as not making dinner when I get home, I usually just browse some sites, leave a few comments, and go to bed early. They say that you need less sleep as you get older, but during this past year I’ve been exhausted by 10 pm. On the other hand, at my last checkup, the doc was amazed at how well I was doing; my blood pressure was back in the normal range, I’ve put on some serious muscle, and I’m healthier than most of my friends, including the ones who are ten or twenty years younger.

TL;DR:  Sorry I haven’t written, I’ve been busy.

 

Anyway, since most of you are here to read about male chastity, I don’t want to leave you hanging; for those of you who are Jonesing for more cock-locking literature, here’s a short list of where to go.

Thumper has done an excellent job of picking up my slack, and has been writing a lot of deep and insightful posts lately.

Dev has emerged to become one of the most interesting writers on male chastity; she has an interesting perspective in that, unlike the majority of situations, it was she who introduced the idea to her husband.

Sarah, who was writing pretty much daily, has had to cut back because of some pressing work duties, but we’ll excuse her because her book has become an excellent resource for couples discovering this.

Keyheld, which I introduced recently, has the latest updates from about two dozen vanilla-oriented, chastity-themed blogs; I suggest that you bookmark it and visit often. Keyehld  grew out of the community of…

The Chastity Forums, a web board that was created by Thumper out of frustration at the lack of web boards that were not oriented toward newbs, not to mention over-run with spam. It’s grown to over 250 members in the last few months, and you will find most of your favorite  bloggers writing at least several times a week.

 

While I didn’t post much original content this year, I did have a few items of interest. According to the stats, some of the most popular posts this year were:

Chastity Therapy: A rant about the people – mainly guys – who, upon the news that any celebrity or politician has been caught cheating, immediately prescribe enforced chastity as a means to prevent such behavior in the future.

Ahead of Time: This has become my most popular story, and while it was fiction when I wrote it… well, that’s another story.

Full Scale Models: The past year saw a number of news stories on “full figured” models in fashion. Except, of course, in the fashion industry, “full figured” means “women who are normal sized.” See also Not Satisfied, Mammary Lane, and Again, with the curves.

 

And since we’re on the subject of eye candy, I posted a number of HNTs this year, some of which were actually popular, judging by the number of views and comments.

Breakthrough: Despite the love handles, this is the thinnest I’ve been in a long time.

Mirrored: More attention whoring.

Working it out:  I used to be embarrassed by my premature gray hair. Now I’m discovering that some of you are actually turned on by it.

 

And that’s all for 2010. Here’s hoping for a happy and prosperous 2011.

HNT: Sunburn

Okay, okay; I’m sorry that I missed last week’s HNT.  I just didn’t have anything new,  and I was tired of posting pics of me in my biking gear.

The Edge family took a rare day off last weekend and we went to the beach.  I haven’t been to the ocean in a couple of years,  even though we live a half hour from several state beach parks.  All work and no play, I guess.

Anyway,  for those of you who don’t get to the beach very often,  here’s a reminder why you need sunscreen,  even on a cloudy day.

Hey, don’t just stand there; how about rubbing a little aloe on the sensitive spots? And afterwards, may even running a little on the sunburn, too.

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Want to get in on the HNT ego-stroking? Go check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

Piercing Screams

Here’s an interesting item from Monday’s LA Times:

Most men with genital piercings don’t fit the usual stereotypes

Most men with genital piercings don’t fit into the usual stereotype of bikers, druggies or Goths, researchers said Monday. In fact, most who responded to a survey are nearly middle-aged, middle class married men, according to an online study performed by researchers from Texas Tech University.

Anybody that hangs out in the sex blog world could have told you that.

But what you might not have discovered is a bit more squicky:

Men report many reasons for piercings, including increased sexual satisfaction, a need for rebellion and a desire for risk-taking. But they also endure a variety of complications, particularly infections and bleeding. About a quarter of men report that they have to urinate sitting down because urine sprays in all directions through the piercings. Other reported complications have included priapism (uncomfortably sustained erections), bleeding after sex, gangrene and loss of jewelry in female partners.

Losing a ring or a stud inside your partner? Oh my. Not that I was considering a PA anyway, but geez…

Although I usually doubt the statistical validity of self-selected surveys, it’s interesting to see the results, posted in the British Journal of Medical Practitioners.

• Among those who responded, the average man was 31 years old, white, heterosexual, college educated and earned more than $36,000 per year.
• 89% identified themselves as Caucasians;
• 41% were married and another 20% lived with a significant other;
• 56% reported a salary of more than $45,000 per year;
• 28% said they had a strong religious faith;
• 82% said they were heterosexual;
• 87% said they didn’t use drugs;
• 74% said they had at least some college, and 20% had a graduate or doctoral degree.
• Many of the respondents said they had solicited advice from piercers and the Internet before obtaining their piercings.

I read through the BJMP report, and oddly, I did not find “Needed to use it with a chastity device” listed as one of the reasons.

HNT: Mirrored

I’m officially on vacation, and while some people use this as a time of ease, if not downright bacchanalian hedonism, I’ve actually kicked my exercise levels up a notch. This is because the scale keeps pointing to lower, and more encouraging numbers. Besides, I’m going to a family wedding, and I need to drop a couple of more pounds because I know I’m going to eat not-on-the-diet things for several days straight.

Anyway, if you can stand yet another shot of me with an exercise theme, this is me after pumping iron for 45 minutes, and then taking a 10 mile bike ride. I’ve literally just walked in the door, which is why I appear to be glistening; that’s not oil, it’s the sweat dripping off of me in the 90º weather.

Yeah, just for the hell of it, I biked shirtless to get some sun. I hope none of the neighborhood women minded.

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Want to join in the HNT ego stroking? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

HNT: Heat Wave

We’re having a heat wave in Southern New England, and New Haven County has been feeling a lot like places more tropical.

But none of that is going to harsh my buzz today.

I got on the scale this morning, and I’m down almost two whole pounds from last week’s HNT, so I’m feeling encouraged that all this diet and exercise is starting to pay off.

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Want to join in the HNT ego stroking? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

HNT: Saddle Up

“Hey, Tom, is that you?”

The car had pulled over across the road from me just as I was snapping the picture. Damn, I thought, I’m busted. I turned around.

“Hey, Ray – haven’t seen you in a while. How’ve you been?”

“Good. You’re looking good, dude. Hey, I saw on Facebook that your birthday was last week. Are you really 52?”

“Yeah, don’t remind me. “

“Man, I hope I look that good when I’m old.”

Old? Old? I’m sure the young little bastard meant it in a nice way.

“So, what are you doing?”

“I usually work out every other day,” I told him. “I thought for a change, I’d try doing bike sprints on the off days, since I’m still not losing any weight.”

He laughed. “You’re crazy, man. It’s six thirty in the freaking morning.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. I usually work out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I’ve been trying to get the cardio in on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but after work, I’m usually too tired, or it’s too late, or I have to go to some meeting, or I have to cook dinner. So I figured I’d try biking first thing in the morning, since I’m already used to getting up.”

He put the car back in gear. “Well, good luck with that, man,” he called as he drove off. “See you at the club sometime.”

I finished snapping a couple of pics for my HNT, and pedaled my ass back home.

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Want to join in the HNT ego stroking? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

HNT: Working it out

I haven’t posted any HNTs in a while. This is partly because I haven’t given them much thought — I’ve been busy at work lately — and partly because, despite the number of posts I make about attractive plus-sized women, I’ve been disappointed that I haven’t slimmed down more than I had anticipated this past year.

I had a couple of set-backs over the winter because I injured myself (twice!) doing workouts that were maybe a bit too advanced. As a result, I hardly touched the weights from January until March, which is one of the worst times of the year at my house because of all the holiday baking and cooking. I actually gained ten pounds over the winter, and became quite annoyed with myself, especially since I still log what I eat, and I monitor my fats, proteins, and carbs.

But I’m back into the groove again; I’ve been biking since the weather warmed up, and Mrs. Edge even bought me a new piece of exercise equipment for my birthday. I’ve replaced some of the fat with muscle, and my clothes are fitting better.

And really, why should I deprive you, my dear readers, of what I know you’re here for: pictures of gray chest hair.

Want to join in the HNT ego stroking? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!