To boldly curve where no woman has gone before

Levis, the most popular denim jean in the US, is under fire for retooling their advertising, in which they target “curvier” women, and which aims to attract women of all proportions. The ad motto itself is “Hotness comes in all shapes and sizes.”

This sounds like a great idea, doesn’t it? So, what’s the problem? I mean, who could possibly object to this kid of inclusiveness?

Well, take a look at one of their recent ads:

Oooh, look at that booty! Hmm, I’m loving all those different shapes and siz… Umm… that’s not the same woman Photoshopped in different positions, is it? Because I’m having a hard time telling those asses apart right now.

Alright, maybe it’s just me. How about if I look at one of the other ads?

Okay, that’s three different women; I can tell because they have different hair. The one with the blue jeans seems to have a rounder ass than the one in orange, but maybe it’s just a trick of the light. I know, I’ll try one of the silhouette ads — that should give me a better picture.

Oh, look — here’s an ad in which they specifically call out the shapes:

Wow, those are fine lookin’ women, Levis.  Oh, my, yes indeed. Why, if I had to pick one for an afternoon frolic, I don’t know if I would go for the woman with the, umm,  slight curve… or the woman with the, ehh,  slightly less of a slight curve… or the one with the, er, slightly more of a slight curve.

Not that it matters, because:
a) I’m probably too old to be thinking about getting together with advertising models, and
b) They’re all the same freakin’ size in the first place!

Really, Levi Strauss? Nobody in your marketing division has ever run across a woman larger than a size 6?

I know that some of you will be able to distinguish the models because of slight variances in size and shape, but the point is that for a company that’s advertising “Bold Curves”, you would think that they’d have, oh, I don’t know, a woman who’s a size 12 or 14, if only to show a body that’s more than marginally different from the lineup they currently feature.

Okay, okay — before we get the pitchforks and torches, props to Levis for at least publicly acknowledging that there are women who are not stick-thin models, and who might want to have some attractively, well-designed casual wear. That’s great. But after putting millions of dollars into the advertising, it’s a bit disappointing to see that they weren’t (ahem) bold enough to feature some of women for whom they are designing those jeans.

And since I’m thinking about curvy women in jeans, how about a shot of some women who are probably not a size 6:

Seriously?

I’m taking a quick break from all of this talk about submissive men being devalued, and femdom being broken, so I can get this out for some airing.

Marriages are more satisfying for both partners when wives are thinner than their husbands, according to a new study.

The four-year study of 169 newlywed couples found that husbands were more satisfied initially and wives were more satisfied over time when the fairer sex had a lower body mass index — a common measure of body fat.  The study was published in the July issue of Social Psychological and Personality Science.

 

They were able to figure this out from only 169 couples?

I’m going to imagine that most people have an idea in their head about what is  or is not attractive, and that probably changes over time. But what also changes over time are other factors that probably outweigh (heh heh) things like muffin top or cellulite.

Now, I’m all for being fit, as those readers who have seen this go from a sex blog to an exercise blog can attest. But I’m also a believer that attractiveness is not just about weight, or even weight distribution. So in the interest of presenting a responsible, opposing viewpoint, I’m just going to leave a few of these pictures lying around. Nothing much, just various women of assorted ages, all of whom not looking like anything like a stick.

 

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HNT: Spring Training

Seriously, Tom? Not just weeks, but months without an HNT post? Isn’t there any love for the women and men (all 19 of them) who want to see graying chest hair?

 

 

I know it’s still a few more weeks until spring is officially here, but I’m trying to get an early start. I’ve been low-carbing it all winter, and I’ve already shed the 5 lbs that I picked up during the winter holidays (and am thankful it wasn’t more). Now I’m kicking up my weight training program from “leisurely” to “stop slacking”.

I’m telling you , 6-pack abs for the summer – that’s my goal.  Summer will be here before you know it, and I want to look good in those tight spandex bike shorts so I don’t embarrass Mrs. Edge.

It’s a living

Pity poor Shigeo Tokuda, who is still working even after he retired from his travel agency job.

From the Globe & Mail (UK):

Husband, grandfather, retiree – and a Japanese porn star

Mark MacKinnon
Tokyo— From Monday’s Globe and Mail
Published Sunday, Oct. 03, 2010 10:14PM EDT
Last updated Monday, Oct. 04, 2010 4:36PM EDT

It’s said that everyone has a secret. What was unique about Shigeo Tokuda’s fib was that everything he wasn’t telling his wife and daughter was on recorded on hundreds of videos, and that thousands of admirers knew exactly who he was and what he was trying to hide.

For a long time, Mr. Tokuda was not just the world’s oldest porn star, he was perhaps its most anonymous. His family didn’t know where the 76-year-old really went and what he did when the retired travel agent pulled on his blazer and went off to “work” in the morning.

But among his fans – and there are enough of them to justify the making of at least one new film a month – Mr. Tokuda is the superstar of the rising genre of “elder porn,” movies that feature older actors (at least the male ones) and plotlines in which the growing number of Japanese senior citizens (again, at least the males) can picture themselves. His most famous role is as a senior citizen who acts anything but his age with an assortment of nurses, as well as with his twentysomething daughter-in-law.

[...]

Mr. Tokuda’s secret blew up in his face two years ago, when a lengthy fax arrived at his Tokyo home that his 35-year-old daughter was the first in the family to lay eyes on: the script to Prohibited Elderly Care Vol. 20. It didn’t take her long to figure out what it was she was reading and which role her father – who also stars in a series called Maniac Training of Lolitas – was cast to play.

“The whole story was right there, so it was obvious what kind of movie it was,” Mr. Tokuda says, grimacing a bit at the memory. In person, the father of two and grandfather of one looks the part he plays: an elderly Japanese any man, standing 5-foot-3 with just a few wisps of white hair covering his shining scalp, and a smile dominated by oversized front teeth.

And most people are simply concerned about a family member discovering a few sex toys.

But while his daughter was “shocked” at her discovery, Mr. Tokuda says his wife was unbothered to find out about his raunchy part-time profession. “My wife lets me do whatever I want now that I’m retired,” he says. “She’s just concerned about my health and tells me not to work too hard.”

I’m sorry. I had to go back and read that again.

“There’s no jealousy as far as I can tell. But last year while I was drinking with my wife in Asakusa [a neighbourhood of Tokyo], someone came up to me and asked for an autograph. She was surprised, but it didn’t lead to an argument. She understands it’s a job and she trusts me.”

Okay, just so we’re clear on all this.

[...]

He said he has occasionally acted with women closer to his own age, including 71-year-old Fujiko Ito, whom he shared the screen with a few years ago. But there isn’t the same audience for movies starring older women as there is for films about older men still able to attract women a third their own age.

[...]

While he says he still enjoys his job, Mr. Tokuda says he’s thinks he may retire for good some time in the not too distant future. “I think I’ll stop when I’m 80,” he says, sounding uncertain of the words.

And what will he do then? “I don’t know. Maybe spend more time going hiking with my wife.”

Okay, so maybe it’s more of a hobby, a desire to keep busy. I do recommend reading the entire article here.

A lot of guys joke that they would like to have a job such as this, but very few of us can look as ugly as Ron Jeremy, et alia. But after looking at some of the websites on which “elder porn” is being reported, I get the impression that it’s less about having a 12″ schlong, and more about simply the fantasy role play. Interesting, too, are the comments on these sites. “Disgusting,” “Old guy sex? Ugh!” and “Who the hell would want to see this?” are typical, although the Globe & Mail are more accepting.

So, knowing that quite of few of you are middle-aged, I wonder how many of  us will still be looking at porn when we’re 70 or 80?

HNT: Breakthrough

Okay, September is here, and in New England, that means we’ve got just about a month left of warm-ish weather before the leaves start turning. Already it’s dark when I wake up in the morning, and it looks like I’ve only got a few more weeks of morning biking; I even dug up my battery powered headlamp so I can head out before the school buses.

This also means that my exercise-themed HNTs won’t be as common, since I’ll probably be less obsessed with fitness — or at least, I’ll be mentally able to focus on other things on this blog.

I stopped weightlifting for the last month to focus on more cardio, and it paid off in the form of my losing almost 8 pounds over the last six weeks or so. For the first time in years, I’m under 180 pounds. Here, check it out:

This is one of the last pics with my old phone. I’ve finally phased it out, and I’m completely in love with my Android / Galaxy S. In fact, after I pulled the picture form the old phone, I uploaded it with my GS, and used the WordPress app to set this up. I can’t believe how much happiness I”m getting out of a tiny, little bit of electronics.

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Want to join in the HNT ego stroking? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

HNT: Sunburn

Okay, okay; I’m sorry that I missed last week’s HNT.  I just didn’t have anything new,  and I was tired of posting pics of me in my biking gear.

The Edge family took a rare day off last weekend and we went to the beach.  I haven’t been to the ocean in a couple of years,  even though we live a half hour from several state beach parks.  All work and no play, I guess.

Anyway,  for those of you who don’t get to the beach very often,  here’s a reminder why you need sunscreen,  even on a cloudy day.

Hey, don’t just stand there; how about rubbing a little aloe on the sensitive spots? And afterwards, may even running a little on the sunburn, too.

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Want to get in on the HNT ego-stroking? Go check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

HNT: Muffin Top

So, after a month of HNTs of pictures of me biking, I thought I might toss out a pic of where it’s gotten me. I’m actually down about 7 or 8 pounds, which is really just the stuff that I gained over the winter anyway. My problem is that I get down to around 185, and then I stall.

Here you can see my manly muffin top. I’ve got another 10, maybe 15 pounds to go before this won’t look quite so muffinesque. The reason that you can see the waistband of my boxers is because my shorts are literally falling off of me. I guess that’s a sign of some progress, although the next size down is still a bit snug.

The next month is going to be the hardest because I’ll be visiting the in-laws for a week on vacation, and they don’t have the same mindset toward healthy eating. I’ll be surrounded by ice cream, potato chips, and batter-fried donuts. And that’s just for breakfast.

ETA: Wow, seeing this up on the monitor makes me look heftier than the little picture on my phone. I think I might have to print this and post it on my refrigerator to give me a little motivation to keep at it. Who knows, maybe by next year I’ll be looking like this guy.

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Want to join in the HNT ego stroking? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

HNT: Orange

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Apple.
Apple who?

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say “apple” again?

For some reason my nieces never got tired of that game. Hopefully, you’re not tired of my total lack of content.

For the last few weeks, I’ve stepped up my exercising. On Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, I’ve been getting up at the crack of dawn (no, seriously) to pump iron. And on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday mornings I’ve been biking five to ten miles for some cardio exercise. This has cut into my blogging time. Unfortunately, it hasn’t cut into my weight as much as I’d hoped, but it is coming down a little bit. I’m also going to change up the Protein/Fats/Carbs mix to see if that helps.

Anyway, I hope you’re also not tired of me posting pictures of me on my Thursday morning rides.

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Want to join in the HNT ego stroking? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

HNT: A leg up

Wow, what a slacker. This makes 3 posts in a row with no content, simply pics of my body.

This is me at about 6:15 am the other morning, trying to get a little cardio exercise. I’ve been trying to bike 5 to 6 miles a couple of times a week, but by the time I get out of work it’s usually too late, or I’ve got to cook dinner, or go to some meeting, or whatever. So I figured I’d try getting up early <shudder> and getting it done in the morning.

Two weeks now, and I’m still not happy about it.

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Want to join in the HNT ego stroking? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!

HNT: Saddle Up

“Hey, Tom, is that you?”

The car had pulled over across the road from me just as I was snapping the picture. Damn, I thought, I’m busted. I turned around.

“Hey, Ray – haven’t seen you in a while. How’ve you been?”

“Good. You’re looking good, dude. Hey, I saw on Facebook that your birthday was last week. Are you really 52?”

“Yeah, don’t remind me. “

“Man, I hope I look that good when I’m old.”

Old? Old? I’m sure the young little bastard meant it in a nice way.

“So, what are you doing?”

“I usually work out every other day,” I told him. “I thought for a change, I’d try doing bike sprints on the off days, since I’m still not losing any weight.”

He laughed. “You’re crazy, man. It’s six thirty in the freaking morning.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. I usually work out Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I’ve been trying to get the cardio in on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but after work, I’m usually too tired, or it’s too late, or I have to go to some meeting, or I have to cook dinner. So I figured I’d try biking first thing in the morning, since I’m already used to getting up.”

He put the car back in gear. “Well, good luck with that, man,” he called as he drove off. “See you at the club sometime.”

I finished snapping a couple of pics for my HNT, and pedaled my ass back home.

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Want to join in the HNT ego stroking? Check out the guidelines at Osbasso’s place!