The Month in Chastity

No, not me. As it happens, we haven’t done the chastity thing in a while, now that Mrs. Edge has discovered ruined orgasms. For that matter, I think I’ve only had two or three full-on orgasms since December; most of our intimate relations are now following the pattern of me pleasuring her, and then her ruining mine by squeezing down hard at the last second — causing me a bit of anguish, and usually wondering why I continue to look forward to them, because I regret my decision each time it happens.

Anyway, I’m sure that nobody reading is interested in that kind of thing. You’re here for the chastity, aren’t you? As it happens, there have been some interesting things happening in the last couple of weeks.

First on the list is Dishevelled Domina’s interview with chastity maven Sarah “I am not a Domme” Jameson. Sarah, of course, is the author of some kind of male chastity blog, and appears to have written a book or something that a few people have found somewhat useful. Sarah is one of the few people who admit (claim?) to use chastity and orgasm denial in a vanilla (i.e., non-BDSM) context.

Psychology Today, the magazine that almost single-handedly created pop-psych has an interesting blog (if you like that sort of thing) and one of the writers (Gary WIlson, author of Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow) just published an article claiming that frequent ejaculations seem to create a “hangover” condition for men. This seems to correspond to what many chastity aficionados claim: that after sex, they simply aren’t interested in being a loving, caring partner for a while.

Coincidentally. Psychology Today also had a small post on the actual history of chastity belts; or more specifically, the myth behind them. Unfortunately, the article was short, and there was little mention about them or their current usage.

And over on Domme Chronicles, Ferns has a revelation as to why chastity play is so hot for some people.

He was kept on a sexual edge for as long as I wanted, our play was intensified, he became sensitised in a way he had never been before, his entire way of walking around in the world changed, his view of himself changed, his relationship with his sexuality was emphasised, and I was the owner of all of it.

It was just incredibly hot hot hot, intensely intimate, and amazingly close-making.

Oh, and before I forget, I just wanted to mention that the Chastity Forums have been growing steadily, and by popular request, we now have a Keyholder Forum. At the moment, it’s a private place for newbie KHs (mainly women, although we have a few men) to discuss issues, concerns, etc. Overall, CF is still a mainly-vanilla forum, though, and the focus is still on support and advice for those interested in chastity play in a relationship. For those of you who are looking for a hangout that is more about the relationship and less about the BDSM aspects, it’s a small, but active community.

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I’m off to see The Avengers tonight, so here’s a picture with the appropriate theme.

Frequency Asked Question

So, I’m skimming my blogroll, and I see an interesting post over on Kink in Exile in which she asks:

I’m reading some of the blogs linked off Keyheld, “an aggregate for blogs in which male chastity and orgasm denial are the main focus.”  It seems like a lot of these male bloggers are married, many with families, most with otherwise uncomplicated-by-the-risque lives.  My question is, how does orgasm control get into such unexpected and otherwise normal-seeming unions?

Having been immersed in the chastity culture for so long, it’s sometimes surprising for me to hear other kinksters ask about it. Even more surprising is that KiE puts the cart before the horse in her assumption:

I’m curious if these guys (and gals) filtered for “kinky” in partner selection and if not, how they managed to find a match in what I’d expect to be a niche field.

So to help her out, I think it would be great to see comments (either here or over there), especially from some of more vanilla-ish guys as to how they settled on chastity or orgasm control as a personal kink. Naturally, anyone too shy to leave a comment is welcome to email me and I can post it anonymously if you’d like.

Kink in Exile is a great blog, by the way, especially for those of you who prefer intelligent insight with your kinkiness.

And just for some motivation, I’m posting a picture of a completely stereotypical fantasy.

Two Experiments

Those of you familiar with the happenings of the northeastern US probably know that we had an unseasonal Nor’easter – a storm that dumped a foot or more of snow around southern New England, and knocked out power in 2/3 of Connecticut for days – in some cases, for over a week. The Edge household was without power, phone, or even cell service for most of that time, which led to a case of cabin fever. Naturally, when we got power back, we tackled the important things: making sure the internet connection was back up and running. Oh yeah, and something about the furnace and hot water might have figured in there, too.

Anyway, having developed a Tumblr addiction, it was nice to see what had been being reposted in the kinky sectors. I spent a few  hours  couple of minutes browsing around and found this captioned picture on the Locked in Chastity Tumblog. I was struck by the rather profound insight that often gets overlooked when one reads chastity related fiction, or indeed, even the chastity related blogs that spring up. Most of the time we’re hearing about how the denial affects the man who asks to be denied, but we rarely hear about how it affects his partner.

Let me qualify that. We often hear about how the Missus loves it because she gets backrubs, pedicures, and the the laundry done. Yeah, no duh; I mean, I’d love to get daily massages, myself, and if somebody would wash and iron my socks every week then that would be one less thing for me to worry about.

But I’m talking about the more intimate and emotional aspects of chastity and denial. I’d venture that most married people are having a pretty decent (fsv of)  amount of sex every week, so men who ask to play out some kind of long-term chastity fantasy are also denying their partners something to some degree. Is PIV sex important to all women? Of course not, but at the same time it’s presumptuous for men to simply assume that they can replace intercourse with oral sex and backrubs – which seems to be the (ahem) dominant theme behind much of the “enforced” chastity paradigm (Paradigm? Did I really use that word outside of a graduate class?).

Some years ago when Mrs. Edge and I started messing with chastity and denial, we would go week to week. That is, she kept me locked up for a week, would let me out for some intercourse (no orgasm for me, of course), and then lock me back up. And that’s how it went for some time, until we got the strapon harness and a really lifelike dildo. We tried it out a few times, but at the end of the week, she unlocked me. And again, the next week. And the next.

But there came a time when she skipped the weekly unlocking, and asked me to use the new toy, instead. I ended up being locked up for two straight weeks. And the next time it was three weeks. And the next time it was a month. And then it was six or seven weeks.

While this was happening, I suspected that she was testing the waters, but was hesitant to ask her directly because I didn’t want to spoil the mood. Our agreement was that she could play as long as she wanted, and if I were uncomfortable, I would mention it to her. But that was okay, because I was experimenting myself — for a while I was looking forward to the weekly unlocking, even though I wasn’t coming. How well would I handle going without even that little bit of pleasure for longer periods? Would I eventually get jealous of the silicone? Would I give in and beg?

When it hit seven weeks without allowing me out, I finally asked her what she had in mind. “I’m just experimenting,” she told me.  She enjoys — actually, prefers — intercourse to oral, so she wondered how long she could “make do” with the dildo, which we began to call “her” cock. She, herself, had been enjoying the weekly unlockings, but after seeing how lifelike the new toy was, and how well I could position it, it began to seem less challenging to her. After going for a two or three weeks, she realized something else: I didn’t have to pace myself for her pleasure the way I had to do when she unlocked me. If she wanted something a little more vigorous, or to extend it a bit longer, she could do so without my asking to take a breather.  She found the idea that she could replace my cock with “her” own to be an unexpected turn on.

By the time that she made me go for a month straight, she began to feel comfortable with using it frequently, and comfortable that I wasn’t being somehow damaged, anxious, or upset. By that point, it didn’t feel so much as a second-best replacement; the couple of extra minutes for me to put on the harness and adjust “her” cock was now simply a natural part of our lovemaking.

Once she stopped worrying about how I was holding up, she found that she wanted to try something else: she wanted to go for longer periods simply to see if I would get frustrated enough to quit. Not in a cruel or mean way, rather that she was discovering her own limits, and in so doing, wondered where my limits (or lack of them) might be. Eventually, she wondered if she would feel comfortable enough not unlocking me at all, and indeed, she even began leaving her key at work so she wouldn’t be tempted to use it. After several years of this, she stopped experimenting with limits, and we simply played for random time periods, always set by her.

So, again,  I just want to take a moment to point out to the men who are interested in “enforced” chastity (or really, any other similar activity), that your partner needs time to experiment, to find her own limits of comfort — both with the relationship and with herself. Try to take s step back from your own excitement to give her what she needs.

Chastity Aficionado

A few months ago I mentioned Angela Lewis, a researcher who had just published a book called My Other Self, which was a look at the very normal real lives of some people with unusual sex lives. Ms. Lewis, while not a kinkster, herself, has done a great job with demystifying (and some might say he-terrifying) the conceptions that many non-kinksters have of people who are into non-vanilla sex.

Ms. Lewis, in following up with her book and the several articles that she has written for an Australian professional journal, has been interviewing various kinksters in a”10 Questions” format. To her credit, she avoids the prurient (i.e., giggle-inducing) questions and asks the kind of things that anyone might be interested in asking someone whom they’ve just met. Here’s a nice session with prodomme Mistress Mynx, here’s one with another pro-domme Mistress Michelle, here’s an interesting chat with fetish model Arinda Storm Weaver, and here’s an exceptionally interesting interview with somebody named Tom Allen, a non-pro chastity enthusiast.

Angela had contacted me near the end of April, and had not hipped to the prank post that was up all month, so some of her initial questions were about what made Mrs. Edge and I give up the “enforced” chastity. After explaining the situation, she rewrote some of the questions, and just published them today. Here’s a sampling:

10 Questions With Tom, a Chastity Aficionado

Q: For readers who may not be familiar with male chastity and orgasm denial, can  you give us the quick overview of what it entails?

I think just about everybody is familiar with the concept of “teasing,” in which a woman offers the promise of sexual favors, but prolongs the actual act.  We just take that a little bit further; instead of expecting satisfaction (i.e., an orgasm) later that day, or even later that week, our satisfaction is delayed weeks, or sometimes even months. While this could be done on the honor system, many of us prefer to utilize some of the devices on the market that are made for preventing temptation.

Really, all chastity play is essentially role-playing. No device is 100% inescapable, and most can be removed with some decent tools and a little finesse. However, since they can be very difficult to defeat without breaking the device, it feeds into the power exchange fantasy some of us have of losing or giving up control. This may be the biggest appeal to chastity aficionados because the *idea* of giving up control, not just for an hour, but essentially forever, can be a very hot fantasy. For men who are accustomed to having a quick wank nearly every day, losing that option is losing control at a very basic, primal level. It’s like bondage, but played out over weeks or months, instead of over an evening.

Paradoxically, non-BDSM couples that have played with “enforced” chastity often report that they end up having *more* sexual intimacy. Partly that’s because the exchange of power can revitalize their relationship, but also because they begin to see that sexual intimacy is much more than penetration. Men often learn to sublimate their own sexual desire into doing things for (or with) their partners that enhance physical closeness. Women, feeling less pressured to have sex all the time, begin to feel more relaxed, knowing that they are in control of the situation.

Obviously this is a generalization, but these factors add to the appeal, and give some motivation to those who continue to play once they get the hang of it.

 

Q: How did Mrs.Edge feel about exploring male chastity  and orgasm denial when the topic first came up?

Surprisingly, she was okay with it. We played a few times, but she didn’t really become interested until the CB3000 came out, sometime around 2003. To her, the organic shape was much more sexy — and comfortable — than the cage-style devices.

We hit a point in our marriage where things were a bit rocky, and in the course of trying to get back on track, we had a few discussions about our sexual relations. She confessed that she used to find the idea of locking me up to be quite a turn on, but she didn’t care for the shape of the cage, or the hard angles of the metal bars. When I showed her pictures of the CB3000, her first words were “You have got to get one of these.”

I say “surprisingly” because Mrs. Edge isn’t crazy about BDSM or fetish gear, and in fact, we own very few sex toys. But instead of perceiving the chastity device as a piece of bondage equipment (which would put her in a “Cruel Mistress” position, something she didn’t want), she saw it as a way to have control over the lust of her sexually charged husband.

Yes, it’s kind of the same thing, but in *her* mind, that is the role that “works” for her.

 

Q: Is the chastity device integral to your enjoyment of orgasm denial, or is it possible to also  enjoy the practice if not wearing the device?

For us, yes. Both Mrs. Edge and I enjoy the idea that she has all of the control. The device serves to reinforce the idea. While she could simply just tell me not to touch myself when she’s not around, or tie a yellow ribbon around me as a symbol, it doesn’t carry the same weight as an actual, lockable device.

There is a schism in the orgasm denial community (such as it is): some people claim that all that should be necessary is for one’s partner to request “no touching, while others maintain that the equipment is part of what makes it hot. Mrs. Edge and I find that wearing the device makes the lack of control more “real”. This also extends to why we do not use a schedule or a point system to determine when I’ll be allowed an orgasm — as far as she’s concerned, such factors take control out of her hands. But in the end, it all depends upon the relationship that you have.

 

Q: You are now in your fifties, and you wrote on your blog recently on your perception of ageism.  What do you think is the peak decade for a man in terms of knowing himself and living as his true self?

Over the last few years, I’ve noticed that the people who are the *most* concerned about getting older are the people my own age. I suppose I have a younger mindset because I spend so much time interacting on forums and websites where one’s age isn’t nearly as important. But I’m becoming very disenchanted with my friends who seem to be turning into zombies. I can’t go a week without seeing some stupid “Remember when…?” email chain letter, or some hackneyed glurge about getting older. I just don’t understand what makes people get stuck in time like that.

I liken it to people who emigrate to a different country. Some of them move to a neighborhood where everybody from the old country settled; they go to the old-country stores, the restaurants, and don’t bother to learn the new language. Essentially, they haven’t moved. Yet, other people take steps to learn the language, and to try the new things that their new host country has to offer.

Time moves on, so in that respect, we are all moving to a new country. But why should we insulate ourselves in the ghettoes, when there is so much out there to see?

Instead of having me copy and paste everything, why not click on over to My Other Self and read the rest? And while you’re there, click around on the rest of her site; maybe it will encourage her — and others — to help make kink a little more mainstream friendly.

30 Day Challenge

It’s okay if you missed the news item in February. I mean, it was from 2008, and all.

Pastor Issues “30-Day Sex Challenge”

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/02/20/earlyshow/living/relationships/main3850842.shtml

From the CBS news website:

The pastor of a southwest Florida church opened many eyes and ears Sunday when he said he wants married couples in the congregation to — have sex for 30 days in a row. [...]
He cited a recent study out that found that 20 million Americans who are married have sex fewer than 10 times a year. “People’s jobs, houses, kids and other things get in the way,” he says. “I think men really need to reevaluate their wife’s needs. We so often come home and kick off our shoes and pick up the remote and don’t offer to help with dinner, don’t offer to help with the kids — and then we just expect fireworks in the bedroom. But we need to meet (our wives’ needs) on intimate levels.”

Since we heard about it, Mrs. Edge and I have thought about making an attempt on this at the Edge of Vanilla Labs — purely in the interest of science — but the timing just never seemed to come off for us. We did get partway into this a year or two ago, but for reasons I cant remember (I’m sure it was either work or illness) we had to abandon it about halfway in.

But last month, after convincing ourselves that it would be possible, we actually managed to pull it off, and added our own bit of a twist: After having been locked up for the previous month, Mrs. Edge decided that I should continue to be locked up, and that she would sacrifice (again, in the interest of science), the feel of my real cock, and would, instead make do with the substitute.

Now, you might have thought that this would have become an almost unbearable tease. I mean, it’s one thing to wear a strapon a couple of times a week for sex; you get aroused, and then you get a couple of days to cool off, and then you go at it again. Wearing one every night for a month would seem to give me no chance to cool down, and therefore, I should go into frustration overload, right?

But the interesting thing was this: although the idea sounded hot (and in fact, it was hot at first), after a week I was glad to be wearing a strapon because between work and, umm, more work, I had a hard time relaxing enough to feel teh sexxy every night. This bothered me a bit because I associate the canceling effects of work on libido with old age, and more importantly, with somebody other than me. When the hell did I become old enough to let work bother me?

But here’s something else interesting. Normally, when we play like this, Mrs. Edge gets very randy knowing that I’m caged, and we’ll go at it until she’s sore, which means that her own desire for more sexytime drops significantly for the rest of the week. Knowing this, we tried to keep our lovemaking sessions to ten minutes or so. After a couple of weeks we realized that those ten minutes crept into fifteen or twenty, but we stopped at the “just enough” point so that she didn’t become either sore, or worn out. Stopping just at the point of her being satisfied, though, meant that I didn’t get exceptionally aroused. That is, while I was certainly enjoying myself, I never got to the point where the frustration overshadowed the pleasure.

We did miss a couple of nights here and there, but we decided that in order to hold to the spirit of the challenge, we’d have to make up those times in addition to not missing any more nights. This meant that a few times we had sex in the morning, and then again at night – not a big deal for some of you, but Mrs. Edge had a very early menopause, and for some time now it’s a rare occasion to have it twice in a week, let alone in one day. As it happens, though, we enjoyed ourselves so much that we managed to make up slightly to the good, logging 32 times in 30 days.

The last week, I had a doctor’s appointment that necessitated removing the device. Instead of reinstalling it, we opted to go with both the natural method (which, by this time, had to be very carefully paced on my part) and the little-used extension that we had picked up a couple of years earlier. This brought yet another twist to the challenge in that the extension actually had less feeling for me than the strapon. The harness holds the strapon against my pubic bone, and I can feel some vibration and thrusting. The extension, once I figured out how to use it, left me with almost no feeling at all.By the end of the week, however, I was starting to get the hand of it, and actually began to enjoy the sensations. That last week ended the month, and Mrs. Edge allowed me to come.

A good report would end with some discussion of what we had learned about ourselves during that time, but I really don’t have much to say. As an exercise in frustration, it wasn’t much more difficult than other times we’ve played in the past, and in some respects, it was a bit easier simply because we kept the sessions short, so my libido wasn’t on overdrive when we finished. In fact, as far as that goes, we did discover that both Mrs. Edge and I slept much better for that month. She was always relaxed from the orgasms, and because of the short sessions, I rarely got to the “frustrated blue balls” point; just about every night I fell asleep soon afterward, spooning her tightly.

I’m trying to imagine the pressure this challenge could place on somebody who was not in chastity; for my own part, there were a few nights that I wasn’t in the mood, but having made the commitment, it was good to fall back on the harness. It rarely took long for me to get into the mood once motivated, but it’s the “getting into the mood part” that has been the bigger challenge for both of us lately.

For Mrs. Edge, she has likewise learned that it takes a little work to get into the mood, but once initiated, it’s easy to stay in the mood long enough to enjoy it. In the past, we’ve had problems with the both of us giving up too easily, each of us for reasons of our own. I think that the both of us have learned that it really doesn’t take all that much work in order to get the other one in the mood, but it does take a bit of initiative and commitment. The trick will be whether we can internalize those lessons so we don’t slide back into our old habits.

Chastity Hipster

I started the Edge of Vanilla blog about 5 years ago with the intention of it becoming a resource for people interested in “enforced” male chastity and orgasm denial, and mainly for those people who were primarily vanilla, or at least, weren’t interested in the bdsm dynamics. I felt the need to provide some sensible alternative to the stupid (even dangerous) advice given on dozens of blogs and web forums, especially since many of the advice givers themselves did not even appear to be in relationships, let alone to wear a device. Also, I began writing about very specific things with the small range of devices I had used, such as measurements and comparisons. Reviews of devices have been around for years, but I had hoped to include facts and data to make them more useful to people before they spent their money. And finally, I had hoped that I might be able to educate people about the fairly innocuous “gateway kink” of chastity and denial, even if they weren’t interested in trying it out; and in so doing, perhaps get people to understand that kink isn’t evil or dark or perverted, but rather, that it’s just another way for people to enjoy intimacy.

To those ends, I think I’ve had some success. Edge of Vanilla is one of the more widely read and referenced resources for male chastity (I’ve logged almost 1.2 million hits since I moved to WordPress, typically ranging from 600 to 1,000 per day), and I’ve had emails from dozens of people from around the US and UK who have been inspired and enlightened. And there are now several dozen blogs (well written and frequently updated) by people who use some aspect of enforced chastity in their daily lives, people whose lives have been enriched by embracing the kink. For example, Nipple-ring Dev and I teamed up to start Keyheld, a blog aggregate where you can find the latest updates from many bloggers interested in this. Thumper’s new (and growing) Chastity Forums continues to be a place of good advice, support, and yes, maturity and sanity. Sarah “Not a Mistress” Jameson wrote a a very good book on the subject. And you can find dozens of other links along the sidebar blogroll list. Dozens.

And it’s not just in this little corner of the web anymore, either. The CB6000 devices were well noted in popular mainstream news blogs a few months ago when they were featured at a major adult expo, and it is reputed (although I can’t find the sources) that chastity devices are the next most popular adult toy after dildos & vibrators. Hell, a few years ago, Chinese manufacturers decided that the market was good enough to invest in the very expensive molds in order to make counterfeit copies of the more well-known CB2000, 3000, and 6000 devices. I mean, how many do you expect to sell if you’re willing to spend $20,000 to $50,000 on that kind of equipment?

The point being that “enforced” male chastity, while not mainstream, is slowly moving from the little sub-basement in the kink world into, well, if not the atrium, at least to that little area near the food courts.

Which is why I have decided that my work here is pretty much finished, and it’s time to move on.

Chastity? Yeah, we used to do that, back when it was underground. Now it’s too commercial.

So, Mrs. Edge and I are going to spend time enjoying mutual orgasms, and my junk will get a much deserved rest from having various bits of plastic and metal fastened to it over the last ten years or so that we’ve been doing this. It was fun while it lasted, but now that you can’t swing a dead cat without hitting an adult shop that’s selling not just one, but several varieties of devices, it’s time to explore those other little corners of the sub-basement.

Since chastity captions seems to be such a huge link draw for me, I’ll just leave one more captioned picture for the chastity aficionados to enjoy.

"Hey, babe, I've been thinking. You've spent the last ten years in chastity; I think I'm tired of this now. How about if we put the devices away for a while and spend some time screwing like teenagers?"

Adult Entertainment

The hoi-polloi among us who work mere day jobs and don’t mingle with the glitterati may have missed the big AVN Adult Entertainment Expo last week, but never fear: your intrepid researchers at EoV Laboratories have been keeping up to date.

Our recap of the events: People still enjoy porn.

Frankly, this might have flown completely under my radar, if it hadn’t been for the various Gawker (and other) media blogs making titillating references to the recently discovered — Oh mai gawd! – Male Chastity Devices. Recently discovered? Well, yes, by the apparently very vanilla media crowd, most of whom still seem to be completely clueless as to what people get out of any sexuality that’s the teensiest bit kinky.

In no particular order, here are some of the article quotes and comments:

Men beware, the male chastity belt is back and women all over the world are placing their man’s manhood under lock and key. This is the type of product Tiger Wood’s wife dreams she’d bought.

[AL Enterprises] apparently sells tens of thousands of the belts a year (who da thunk?). The two biggest markets are not surprisingly Germany and the United Kingdom, which makes sense because those guys are freaky. The USA comes in third.

Aww, it’s adorable when vanilla folks start clicking around the internet.

The plastic male chastity belts are generally “starter” belts. After a couple has used one of those belts for a while they tend to upgrade to a more secure metal one.

isnt the penis always locked to the scrotum? i need an anatomy book.

How does it stay on? Does it have to be bolted to the person?

The less well-known blogs that had follow-up articles were even more juvenile and inane. More to the point, most of the comments riffed on the idea of a chastity device not as a sex toy, but as an article of punishment or even revenge.

On one hand, I guess I should be glad to see more mainstream exposure; there has probably been more mention of these devices in the last couple of years than in the previous ten combined. On the other hand, I still find myself becoming irritated whenever I see the responses that most people have to something that’s outside of their experience. “Eww, WTF is that!? LOLwhut?”

That said, kudos to the Millers for investing the time, money, and energy in displaying their wares at the AEE. How long before they start showing up in regular porn flicks, I wonder?

Keyheld – Chastity Resources for Lovers

Chances are if you’re reading this, then it’s because you were looking for information on male chastity, or enforced chastity, or orgasm denial, or something similar. Or maybe it’s because you’re a long-time reader, and you’ve just gotten into the habit of checking in to see if there’s anything new. And unfortunately, when you do stop by, instead of witty content, all you see are my half-naked pictures.

Well, maybe “unfortunate” isn’t correct, since apparently some of you seem to enjoy them.

Anyway, while I’ve been too busy to write much here, I have been hanging around at a web group for chastity fanatics enthusiasts. You probably already know that Thumper, having nothing else to do with all of his pent-up energy, started The Chastity Forums as a place where those exploring chastity in a more vanilla context could freely associate, exchange ideas, and offer advice to other novitiates.

During one of the many conversations there, Nipple Ring Dev thought it might be nice to have a way to see at a glance what the various other bloggers were doing. Not having anything particularly important to do that evening, I set up a blog to capture the most recent RSS feeds from what is now about 2 dozen different blogs. We also added some resources for people who might be looking for answers to frequently asked questions, where to buy devices, and blog posts of particular interest to women, newbies, etc. And just like that, Keyheld was created.

You can thank Dev for this nice little graphic.

If you’re reading this, and still looking for interesting information on chastity or orgasm denial, then bookmark Keyheld; it’s another good source of information and an opportunity to connect with other people in the community.

When life imitates art: CL version

You can check it out for as long at the Craig’s List link is up:

HELP! we lost the key to our slave’s chastity device! need to unlock!!

this is 100% serious so please only respond if you can really help

we ordered our main slave to lock up our second slave’s cock, and he stupidly used a lock that we don’t have a key for. (see pic below.)

we need someone with a hack saw or bolt cutter to remove the lock for us

if you have one of either, please respond along with a picture of it

The picture is simply a CB6000 attached to the user with a generic Masterlock.

I really worry about the state of technological education in our culture, in which we can program our multi-purpose cell phones, but can’t figure out how to remove a simple luggage lock from a piece of soft plastic. This reminds me of that movie Signs, in which an alien civilization is advanced enough to develop space travel, but can’t figure out how to open a farmhouse door.

Does anybody else think that the slave should just remain locked until somebody takes their smart pills?

When life imitates (bad) art

Well, this is embarrassing.

There hasn’t been much chastity play at the Edge household lately; in fact, not for maybe a good six months. This is mainly due to a lot of job and family stress: The Elm City Consumer Products Company closed the branch at which Mrs. Edge has been working for over 20 years, and moved the employees to different branches around the state. Her old office was less than 15 minutes away, so naturally she got moved to the one that’s halfway across the state, over 45 minutes away. She lost a lot of support staff, too, and now she’s working the same kind of long, intense hours that I do. By the time we get home, make dinner, clean up, and get things ready for the next day, neither of us is feeling especially playful, so it’s no wonder that the devices have languished in a drawer.

Yeah, I can already hear some of you wankers saying things like “But if you’re not having sex anyway, that would be the perfect time to lock you up.” No, you bozos, it’s not. In fact, take if from somebody who has been there: chastity play without any interest from your partner might be a hot fantasy for, oh, a week or two. But trust me, after a while, it begins to feel more like neglect, and that is not a sexy feeling at all. It’s play that should enhance your intimacy; if you’re not intimate, then it’s not play.

Anyway, it’s not unusual for us to have breaks of a few months, and I generally use that time to re-design and modify my devices. I tried to make a more “bike friendly” device by replacing the hard plastic CB3000 cage with the silicone section of my Birdlock, since that device has been sitting in my drawer since the week that the cheap locking pin broke. I made some plastic spacers from  the remnants of a 3k cuff ring, and attached it to a new hinged ring, from which I had removed the brass hinge rivet and replace it with a nylon screw. I think that the idea is worth exploring further, but I need to buy some new rings to test that out.

Some of you know that back in the spring I bought a Fort device. I haven’t reviewed it because I’ve been modifying that one a bit, as well. I’m almost done, but it’s a slow process because I need time in the machine shop at work, but we’ve been using the equipment that I need to get into. I am, however, in the process of making some solid stainless steel rings, similar to the original CB2000 style. The hinged, alloy metal rings supplied with the Fort are both too heavy, and not comfortable because of the sharp edges.

Anyway, you probably know that I’ve spent the summer doing a lot of exercising and biking. I’ve dropped about 10 pounds this summer; partly some good diet tweaks, and partly the 20 to 30 minutes of intense biking that I’ve been trying to do several times a week. Obviously the weightlifting was good for building muscle, but it took some cardio to tip the scales into losing some fat. Whatever, I’m just happy to have found something that works.

Even when I’m not wearing a device, I often wear one of the cuff rings. I switch between the old-style solid rings, and the hinged rings that I’ve modified  into solid rings by removing the rivet hinge and super-gluing the sections together. Late last week, I was wearing one of the modified rings, and had gone out for about 10 miles on the bike. The air was turning a bit chilly, and I could feel my testicles retracting. Suddenly… “Oww, dammit!” One of them had pulled through entirely. Fortunately, I was not in a heavily trafficked area, so I just reached down to twist it into a more comfortable position and soldiered on. Wasn’t the first time this happened.

It was getting dark as I got home — the sun is going down a bit earlier now — and I pulled the bike into the garage, and read the numbers from  my trip computer. Yeah, even though I got a new Android phone and I could be using the cool GPS apps to record my speed and route,  it’s not really any more accurate than what I’m doing now. I texted the numbers to my exercise account, and walked to the door, when I felt something roll down my leg. I looked down and heard the “teenk… tonk” sound, which told me that not only had the cuff ring come completely off, but that it had cracked on impact. It rolled under the workbench, and after I retrieved it and cleaned off the old cobwebs, sawdust, and dirt (look, there are two kinds  of garages: ones like on TV, and ones in which the owners actually do some work.), and sure enough, the ring had cracked right where I had modified it. Damn.

I had a couple of spare cuff rings that I hadn’t modified, so I brought one of them into work the next day, along with my favorite CB3000, and the assorted spacers, KSD-G3, etc. It being Friday, everybody at work left early for the 3 day holiday weekend (Labor Day here in the US). This gave me a chance to sand and polish the sharp edges of the ring, and do a few dry fits with the 3k. After an hour or so, I wanted to make sure I hadn’t missed any sharp edges, so I  popped up into my office to put it on. I applied a little lotion, assembled the KSD, the spacer, the pins, and locked it on with the Masterlock that I reserve for testing.

A perfect fit!

This isn’t surprising; I probably do two of these a year, since we’re a bit hard on the  Beaver chastity cages around here. No, the surprising thing was when when I went for the key, I discovered that it was not on my keyring.

What the hell?

Oh, right. I remembered that I removed a bunch of keys when we went to the in-law’s this summer. So, I was stuck until I could get home; no big deal.

After I got home, and still having some daylight, I changed into my bike shorts and headed out for a ride. When I got back, I cooked dinner (some seasoned rib-eye steaks on the grill, and some steamed fresh broccoli heads).  Mrs. Edge and I cleaned up the kitchen, then she went downstairs to watch TV, and I started rummaging around on my dresser. I found the ring of odd keys that I had removed: my shed key, a key to a filing cabinet at work, one for a bike lock, and the small, steel padlock key. I went into the bathroom to use it.

It didn’t fit!

I went through the keys again. Nope, too big. Nope, definitely the shed key. Nope, the file cabinet. It’s gotta be this one. This time it went in, but it felt raspy and it wouldn’t turn.

Dammit!

Now, if this were a typical piece of wank fiction, this would be about the point where Mrs. Edge comes upstairs to find me fiddling with the lock, only to tell me that she’s been unhappy with the way I  haven’t been doing the washing up lately, and that she purposely hid (or destroyed) the test lock key, knowing that I’d be using it sooner or later. I would meekly succumb to her chastisement (in the correct form of the term), and end the story with something like “And I have no idea when it’s going to come off, if ever.”

Well, this isn’t a story. In real life, I went back through the box of spacers, modified devices, rings, pins, etc., and there, at the very bottom of the box I found it.

No, not the key.That would be too easy.

I found the test lock.

Whenever Mrs. Edge unlocks me, her routine is to keep the lock with her key, which is on a special holder.  Since I covered all the locks with black plastic tubing in order to keep them from clack-clacking against the cage, I didn’t notice that it was not the same as the one I normally use, the one I have my own key for.  So, what was this lock?

Suddenly, I remembered. It was the second lock that we had bought for when she had to go to Bangalore last year. It had never been used, but we prepared it in case I had to remove the original lock; it was supposed to have been a backup. Apparently I had just tossed it into the box with the other bits of equipment.

Damn.

So, I went downstairs to to discover that the Edgelette was in the room watching TV with her;  I decided to wait until later in order to ask for her key. But after 15 minutes, she suddenly announced that she was exhausted, and was going to bed. I followed her up a few minutes later, and to my surprise, she was already asleep.

Dammit. Again.

By the time I got into bed, myself, she was completely out. I read for a bit, and then turned out the light. I woke up once or twice in the middle of the night — a few months without the cage had left me unprepared for the 4am erections — but otherwise, I slept just fine.

Saturday morning I woke up before the alarm, and quietly headed into the bathroom, figuring I would sneak in an early bike ride. Mrs. Edge woke up and asked me to re-join her in bed. We snuggled for a bit, and she discovered the cage. As I explained the situation, she became a bit more frisky.

“I think you need to give me a little,” she said.

“Ummm…” I began.

“With your other cock,” she finished. “Hurry up, go put it on.”

It was in a zippered case under the bed. I fumbled a bit with the harness, since we hadn’t used it in quite a while, and it took me a few minutes to get it seated properly. But soon I was on top of her, slowly thrusting, and listening to her moans.

“How long have you been locked now?”

“Since yesterday afternoon,” I told her.

“With no key?”

I shook my head. “I have no idea where your keys are.”

She pushed her hips into mine, and bit my shoulder to quiet her orgasm. I slowed down to let her catch her breath. She looked up at me.

“Are you horny yet?” she asked.

I nodded. “Yes,” I panted, “Can’t you tell?”

She reached down to feel the cage; my erection was pulling it away from my body, and my trapped testicles were swollen.

“Ooohhh,” she moaned, “that’s just how I like them.” She lay back and wrapped her legs around mine, pulling me closer.

“Not having a key is kind of hot, sort of,” I whispered into her ear.

She closed her eyes and relaxed into another orgasm.

“I think I’m almost done,” she whispered. “Don’t want to overdo it, or I’ll be too tired for the rest of the day.”

I raised myself from my elbows to a pushup position. Her hands explored my back and shoulders while I maintained a slow, steady thrusting. She opened her eyes again.

“What if I can’t find the key?” she asked. “What if I lost the keychain? Or what if I don’t feel like letting you out?”

“What if ?” I replied.

“You might have to stay in there for a while…” she began. Her eyes closed again, and she leaned her head back into the pillow. She pulled me closer, but I maintained the same slow, steady pace. I could tell she was working for this orgasm, but before long her fingernails dug into my back. She let out a big sigh, and placed a hand on my chest, indicating that I could stop.

We disengaged, and she turned onto her side. Quickly, I removed the harness and snuggled up behind her. She reached around to fondle the cage again. I nuzzled her neck for a few minutes, until finally we had to get up.I made her some coffee and went out for a bike ride… a very long bike ride, since I had a lot of energy to work off.

That was a week ago.

Since then, Mrs. Edge doesn’t seem to have been too worried about looking for that key, or at least, she hasn’t mentioned anything about it. I haven’t asked her for it, but she did ask me offhandedly if the new ring was comfortable. Fortunately, it is.

Because, you know…

I have no idea when it’s going to come off, if ever.