Gratitudinousity

Just when you think it’s safe to go back into the water. Gillette tagged me for a meme on Gratitude, which, being a long way from our U.S. Thanksgiving Day (late November) requires some amount of thought. But perhaps that’s a good thing; we often only appreciate certain things when the capriciousness of life flings it into our faces -just as many of us fail to appreciate our partners until mid-February.

So, let’s just take a moment and go with it, shall we? C’mon, we can all think of five simple things to be grateful for, right? Here are mine:

1) I’m grateful for Mrs. Edge, and her ability to learn to be more understanding and intimate in our relationship. When so many bloggers write little else but complaints about their marriages and relationships, I try to remember that it’s nice when she makes an effort to be on the same page – or at least the same book.

2) My relationship with the Edgelette. They say that you get two chances to re-do your relationship with your parents: when you have children, and when you have grandchildren. I’ve tried to be the parent that I wished I had, and fortunately, she seems to have to personality to appreciate that.

3) Despite the several medical issues that I had last year, I’m thankful that not only do I had pretty decent health, but that I’m able to improve upon it (although not quickly enough, dammit!). My weight has come down – not as much as I would have liked, but I’m more muscular and toned than I’ve been in years, and I’ve gone down a notch on my belts. I had to get glasses for reading, but I hardly need them outside of work. My blood pressure and cholesterol is way down, and I seem to be healthier than just about all of the friends that I have who are around my age.

4) My talents. No, that’s not ego, that’s an acknowledgment that I have certain skills and abilities: to learn things quickly, to understand how things work, to express myself well in writing. I don’t get to use these skills much in my work, and I enjoy having opportunities to practice them elsewhere.

5) You. Yes, you crazy fool, you. You’re here, taking time from your busy day to surf for hot orgasm denial porn, look for pics of Marina Sirtis, Kim Cattrall, and other attractive older women, and to amuse yourself with my little tales and observations, and – once in a while – even leave a comment of appreciation. In a medium in which most blogs fail after just a few months, you keep coming back and encouraging me to keep doing what I’ve been doing for over two years, now.

I didn’t do the traditional “Blogiversary” post a couple of weeks ago when I was on vacation, but I’ve got 2 years and 200 posts on The Edge of Vanilla, and while this does sound egotistical, the fact is that I probably would not have written so much if I didn’t get the support and appreciation from you, the gentle reader.

Gillette, thank you for giving me the opportunity to think about what I’ve got going for me right now. And with that, I’m going to tag some newcomers to the blogging community: Naughty Wife & Good Hubby, Elle, Mykey, Pure Liquid Kink, and Curious Girl (since she steals all of my memes anyway).

A good read

Okay, here’s another one of those meme thingies that I got from that girl. What would we do without memes on weeks that we’re busy, I ask you.

“Someone” reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed. It’s not the Big Read though — they don’t publish books, and they’ve only featured these books so far. In any event . . .

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 or less and force books upon them.

1. The Time Traveller’s Wife – Audrey Niffenegger
2. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy – Douglas Adams
3. The Handmaid’s Tale – Margaret Atwood
4. Lord of the Flies – William Golding
5. Life of Pi – Yann Martel
6. The Secret Garden – Frances Hodgson Burnett
7. The Color Purple – Alice Walker
8. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes – Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
9. Jane Eyre – Charlotte Bronte
10. To Kill a Mockingbird – Harper Lee
11. Wuthering Heights – Emily Bronte
12. Nineteen Eighty Four – George Orwell
13. His Dark Materials (trilogy) – Philip Pullman
14. Great Expectations – Charles Dickens
15. Catch 22 – Joseph Heller
16. The Hobbit – J.R.R. Tolkien
17. Catcher in the Rye – J.D. Salinger
18. Brideshead Revisited – Evelyn Waugh
19. Crime and Punishment – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
20. Alice in Wonderland – Lewis Carroll
21. Chronicles of Narnia – C.S. Lewis
22. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
23. Winnie the Pooh – A.A. Milne
24. Animal Farm – George Orwell
25. Brave New World – Aldous Huxley
26. Of Mice and Men – John Steinbeck
27. On The Road – Jack Kerouac
28. Oliver Twist – Charles Dickens
29. Charlotte’s Web – E.B. White
30. Hamlet – William Shakespeare
31. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl
32. Complete Works of Shakespeare
33. Ulysses – James Joyce
34. Heart of Darkness – Joseph Conrad
35. Les Miserables – Victor Hugo
36. Pride and Prejudice – Jane Austen
37. The Bible
38. The Great Gatsby – F. Scott Fitzgerald
39. War and Peace – Leo Tolstoy
40. Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck
41. Anna Karenina – Leo Tolstoy
42. The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. Sense and Sensibility – Jane Austen
45. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time – Mark Haddon
46. Lolita – Vladimir Nabokov
47. The Little Prince – Antoine De Saint-Exupery
48. A Confederacy of Dunces – John Kennedy Toole
49. The Lord of the Rings – JRR Tolkien
50. Harry Potter series – JK Rowling
51. Little Women – Louisa M. Alcott
52. Tess of the D’Urbervilles – Thomas Hardy
53. Rebecca – Daphne Du Maurier
54. Birdsong – Sebastian Faulks
55. Middlemarch – George Eliot
56. Gone With The Wind – Margaret Mitchell
57. Bleak House – Charles Dickens
58. The Wind in the Willows – Kenneth Grahame
59. David Copperfield – Charles Dickens
60. Emma – Jane Austen
61. Persuasion – Jane Austen
62. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin – Louis De Bernieres
63. Memoirs of a Geisha – Arthur Golden
64. The Da Vinci Code – Dan Brown
65. A Prayer for Owen Meaney – John Irving
66. The Woman in White – Wilkie Collins
67. Anne of Green Gables – L.M. Montgomery
68. Far From The Madding Crowd – Thomas Hardy
69. Atonement – Ian McEwan
70. Dune – Frank Herbert
71. Cold Comfort Farm – Stella Gibbons
72. A Suitable Boy – Vikram Seth
73. The Shadow of the Wind – Carlos Ruiz Zafon
74. A Tale Of Two Cities – Charles Dickens
75. Love In The Time Of Cholera – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
76. The Secret History – Donna Tartt
77. The Lovely Bones – Alice Sebold
78. Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
79. Jude the Obscure – Thomas Hardy
80. Bridget Jones’ Diary – Helen Fielding
81. Midnight’s Children – Salman Rushdie
82. Moby Dick – Herman Melville
83. Dracula – Bram Stoker
84. Notes From A Small Island – Bill Bryson
85. The Bell Jar – Sylvia Plath
86. Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome
87. Germinal – Emile Zola
88. Vanity Fair – William Makepeace Thackeray
89. Possession – A.S. Byatt
90. A Christmas Carol – Charles Dickens
91. Cloud Atlas – David Mitchell
92. The Remains of the Day – Kazuo Ishiguro
93. Madame Bovary – Gustave Flaubert
94. A Fine Balance – Rohinton Mistry
95. The Five People You Meet In Heaven – Mitch Albom
96. The Faraway Tree Collection – Enid Blyton
97. The Wasp Factory – Iain Banks
98. Watership Down – Richard Adams
99. A Town Like Alice – Nevil Shute
100. The Three Musketeers – Alexandre Dumas

Funny – most people know me as a “reader,” but I have barely scratched the surface of the more popular works of fiction on this list. Who the heck makes up this stuff, anyway?

We shall all get a spanking! And then, the oral sex!

Your result for The Monty Python Movie Trivia Test…

85%

Sir Lancelot

Sir Lancelot – obviously the Brad Pitt of the knights. He was the brave, good looking, smart knight. He wasn’t king, mind you. But he was the closest to it given the bunch. You know your stuff. I recommend watching Meaning of Life a little closer and throw in some Life of Brian and you’ll be King in no time!

Take The Monty Python Movie Trivia Test at HelloQuizzy


What is it with me and the tests lately?

Hi, I’m Troy McClure…

You may remember him from such hits as Christmas Ape and Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp, but how well do you remember Troy McClure’s other projects? Can you tell which of the following titles come from the filmography of Springfield’s favorite screen icon and which are the real-life dregs of IMDb?

In an apparent contest with my friend E as to who can scrounge up the craziest quizzes on teh netz, I offer up this amusing little tidbit. I didn’t do very well, but somehow I don’t feel embarrassed about that.

My score was 53% (8 out of 15). Think you can do better? Click the Troy pic and take the test for yourself.

What’s your sexual style?

I stole this got the idea from Dev.

Actually, I love taking these tests, and I’ll take anything that tells me that I’m an awesome person.

Anyway, this is another one of those cool OKCupid tests. Go check it out.

What’s your sexual style?
Your Score: TYPE N
You scored: 91 imagination, 91 confidence, 45 dominance, and 62 generosity!

You are a KINKY, CONFIDENT, SUBMISSIVE lover who prefers to GIVE.

This means that: You like relatively kinky sex, and you have the great imagination that will always keep your partner guessing and excited! There’s no getting bored with you around, you could never settle for dull sex, you want something fun and new all the time. You aren’t afraid to try out anything you hear about. You might just be an intelligent lover who needs to be mentally engaged, or perhaps you have some dirty dark secret kinky desires, but either way, you’re never boring.

You are pretty confident in bed. This means that you know you can please your lover. Maybe you’ve read a lot of sex manuals, or have the experience from previous lovers, or just tend to be skilled at whatever you get your hands on, but you’re good and you know it. You can really get results and know that you have pure talent, so you won’t be hiding away shy, pretending to be all innocent. Your partners love your naughty self assurance, you don’t hesitate and this makes you a sensational lover.

You tend to be submissive in bed, so you prefer to go along with what your lover likes rather than your own plans. You might like being ordered around and acting out a slave/master fantasy, or perhaps you just get turned on by being helpless and unable to move. Or maybe it’s as simple as you lacking courage so prefering firm instructions in bed to make sure you are doing things right. Either way, you won’t be dominating your lover anytime soon, and might prefer the missionary position to any others.

You prefer to give than recieve. This makes you a very unselfish lover, devoted to the needs of your partner rather than your own. You get your pleasure from seeing them get theirs, you are a model sex partner. I’m sure plenty of people would love to have someone like you in bed with them! Remember though that if your partner gets pleasure from returning the favour it’s okay to let them, they might love giving as much as you do!

WE SUGGEST YOU: Get crazy with the kissing. It sounds basic, but perhaps with all your wonderful kinky antics and games, you have forgotten how good it can feel just to kiss someone all over, and have the same done to you! Practise with different kissing styles, kiss your lover in places you’ve never kissed them before. Kiss to tickle, kiss to seduce, kiss for hours, or kiss when you know you can’t go any furthur with it, like when you have to be at work soon. Rediscover kissing.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 78% on imagination
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You scored higher than 72% on confidence
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You scored higher than 14% on dominance
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You scored higher than 30% on generosity

Biblio Meme

What Are You Reading?

  1. The Rules:
  2. Pick up the nearest book.
  3. Open to page 123.
  4. Find the fifth sentence.
  5. Post the next three sentences.
  6. Tag a few people.

I got snagged tagged by Blacksilk, who shows off her alluring intellectual side with an interesting choice of reading material. Smart women make me very warm and tingly inside.

Anyway, I happen to have these two books right next to each other at a fingertip’s reach from my keyboard. Let’s see if you can guess the titles. The first one should be easy; my 12 year old daughter would guess it. The second one. . .

Book 1:
Someone from the dead planet was talking to them.
“Computer!” shouted Zaphod.
“Hi there!”

Book 2:
He was the good cop in the family, he left all the big decisions to Mom.
Now Mom tried to argue, tried to make him see reason. We lived above the snowline, we had all we needed. Why trek into the unknown when we could just stock up on supplies, continue to fortify the house, and just wait until the first fall frost?

Okay, who gets tagged? Let’s pick some more people who have stimulated my intellectual side. . .

How about Elizavetta, Gillette, and the recently re-animated E?

Sex me

I was snagged tagged by Kimba.

This is Isabella’s Sex Meme. Anyone is welcome to steal it but you must post this rules blurb at the beginning of the meme: 1. You must include this link to Sex Talk: Sex Advice for Men 2. You must answer every question! If you don’t have a good answer, you are strongly encouraged to make up something good; we like to be entertained. 3. You must tag 3 people.


1. Sex in the Morning or Sex at Night?

Night. Mornings are nice for quickies, but I like long, slow, leisurely lovemaking in the evening.
2. Better Sex Music: Sade or Marvin Gaye?

Sade, most definitely. Gaye may be soulful, but Sade is very sensual. You know – like me!

3. Naughty Pics or Naughty Home Video?

Pics. Unless it’s video of me, of course!

4. Fabulous Sex With: Dr. Doug Ross or Dr. Greg House?

Umm, yeah. Look, how about if I go with another doctor from House? Dr. Allison Cameron.

5. Vibrator or Dildo?
Dildo. And I’m not just saying that because I’m the model for that one…

6. Bedroom Sex: Lights Off or Lights On?

On! I like to see what we’re doing, and I want to watch your face when you’re in the throes of passion.

7. Word preference: Pussy or Cunt?

Pussy when we’re having dinner. Cunt when we’re fucking our brains out.

8. Spanking Over the Knee or Spanking Only During Sex?

Why are so many questions “either/or”? Yeah, spanking during sex.

9. More Exciting: Sex in an Elevator or Sex in an Airplane?

Elevator. Look, don’t ask me to explain, okay?

10. Ron Jeremy or Peter North?

Eewwww. Can I pick Aria Giovanni, instead?

11. Word preference: Cock or Dick?

Cock, please. Dick is your ex-boyfriend, surname of “Head”.

12. Linda Lovelace or Jenna Jameson?

Jenna. Linda went all religious on us, poor thing.

13. Rope Bondage or Bondage Tape?

Damn. Rope or tape? Tape or rope? Gauurrggh! Despite to excellent fetish qualities of rope, tape just edges it out because of the techno points.

14. Give a Rim Job or Receive Anal Sex?

Depends – does she enjoy being rimmed?

15. Get Rich Stripping in a Skanky Bar or Get Rich as a Call Girl for Celebs?

Er… did I ever mention my brief stint as a male dancer? Based on that, I’d rather be a male escort, thank you very much.

16. Which threesome: Boy/Girl/Girl or Boy/Boy/Girl?

At the moment, I’d pick MFF, but I’m going to keep an open mind.

17. Flavored Oil or Tingling Oil?

Tingling. I’m not crazy about vanilla almond banana coconut mango roast beef scented oils when I’m trying to focus my senses on my partner.

18. Pearl Necklace or Swallow?

Giving or getting?

Hey, I really don’t get the whole “facial” thing. That is, I think that it’s supposed to be exciting because, you know, sex is “dirty” and all, but since I don’t consider it to be dirty, the appeal of displaying fluids doesn’t do anything for me.

19. Sex While Strangers Watch or Sex with a Stranger?

With a stranger. Preferably Aria or Allison ;-)

20. Tied to the Bed or Tied to a St. Andrew’s Cross?

Are you kidding me? Hell, I could get tied to a bed anytime. Or a futon. Or a home gym. Or a garage door. Or a Windsor chair. Or a bar stool. Or a small kitchen table. Or a waterbed. Or a sawhorse out in the garage. Or a …

Ah well. Let’s see if Gillette, Innocent Loverboy, and Marianne want to play!

Sex words

No, no, wait – that’s six words. Six.

One of the great things about being me is that I’m always stumbling over fantastic or quirky or exotic or intelligent bloggers. Lately, I’ve been keeping an eye on Elizavetta, who in an effort to shake me off, tagged me with a meme.

Damn. It’s been a while since we’ve done a meme around here, but this one looks easy.
Here’s how it works:

  1. Write your own six word memoir
  2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
  3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
  4. Tag five more blogs with links
  5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Six words? Hah! Anyone who knows me in real life will attest to this one:

“I’m late. Did I miss anything?”

I was going to post this yesterday, but, well, you know how it is.

Anyway, let’s tag a few people. How about…

Desire-XLove Tap, Lady Pandorah, Blacksilk, and The Switch.

I R A Stoodent

Blacksilk and Innocent Loverboy dogged a blogmeme from my LiveJournal.

My Erotic Personality is The Student. Take the Erotic Personality Quiz on SageVivant.com and discover yours!I took Sage Vivant’s Erotic Personality Quiz and discovered I’m a Student!

What is your Erotic Personality? Find out now..

The Student doesn’t care a whit about sexual boundaries or conventions. New, unexplored, and even unusual sexual experiences motivate this erotic type. Learning is just as exciting as doing, so even research involving no involvement of the flesh can be as arousing as sex itself. The Student possesses an insatiable curiosity about all things sexual and appreciates others who share that curiosity, although they don’t always need that quality in a mate. The Student is compelled to experiment with new sexual pastimes out of a sincere desire to experience whatever pleasure they offer. The Student will often delve very deep into a sexual topic or activity to ensure the experience is complete.

Yeah, this is very me, even outside of the sexual arena. I sometimes think that I enjoy the learning more than the actual thing itself once I’ve gotten to a point where I feel like I’ve got some kind of mastery over it.

HNT – Half Naked Toiling

This limerick is meant to elate
My fanatical piratical admirer Kate.
Who wanted to see
more pictures of me
(My chest hair and not my bald pate).

My admirer swears that it’s true
She prefers oral sex to a screw.
She lays on the bed,
grabs a hold of my head;
I’m having my Kate and I’m eating it, too!

~~~

The nice thing about working from home is that you can work naked (or half-naked) if you want. Whoops – there’s the doorbell; I’ll be right back.

Half Naked Working

That’s odd – usually the Jehovah’s Witnesses hang around to talk for a while.

Anyway, this is a day early because tomorrow we will be driving over the river and through the woods – until we get to the on-ramp for the interstate. Mom does Thanksgiving and we do the Christmas dinner (which in our family is pretty much the same).

I hope everyone on this side of the pond has a great holiday, and those of you elsewhere have a nice weekend coming up.