There is often a synchronicity in communities, and it’s with some amusement that I have seen Richard Evans Lee and now Candace touching on a subject that has also been on my own mind. Candace has an amusingly titled post, sparked to some degree by what I call the “helpful suggestions” sent in by some readers. Richard notes that it’s especially a problem for women bloggers, especially women taking on more dominant roles in their relationships. The point is that some of us choose to use these more or less public forums to ruminate, to think out loud, and to perhaps smooth the way for others; while we appreciate most of the comments, some of them seem to be nothing more than an indulgence of their own fantasies.
I’ve mentioned that I often get emails from people (mostly, but not always, men) interested in orgasm denial and chastity, topics on which I’ve written on in various internet groups. Occasionally, though, I also get my share of helpful suggestions. At first it simply surprised me, but eventually I, like Candace, began to wonder at the motivation for some of these people (mostly, but not always, men) to make these suggestions. Having now dealt with this for a couple of years, I now tend to read these with mild amusement.
While I’m not particularly squicked by most fetishes and kinks, there are quite a few that hold absolutely no interest for me. For instance, I love the soft, silky-satiny feel of women’s lingerie… on women. I’ve had “helpful suggestions” that during those times when my wife would like me to wear a chastity device, she should also make me wear her panties to remind me of my lowly submissive status.
Um, excuse me? Where the hell did that come from?
I’m not even going to get started on the paradox of why those who consider women to be “superior” think women’s clothing on men makes them “inferior”. That’s an entire topic unto itself. No, my question is this: I’ve made it pretty clear in my writings that my wife and I do not exactly have a D/s relationship, and that we sometimes practice chastity and denial play to spice up our marriage. So why do some people think that telling me to wear panties would be helpful? Or telling me that my wife should only unlock the device if I’ve gained so many “points”? And notice the paradox in that one: how could I, as an “inferior male” tell my “superior female” of a wife what to do? Don’t these people understand the concept of “dominant”?
Over the years, I have posted handful of erotic stories on various locations around the web, including the ever interesting Literotica. Someone once sent me a response, complimenting me on one of the stories that I had posted there, involving a couple with the man in a long-term chastity situation. I replied, thanking him for the compliment. He responded by asking me if I had ever thought of a sequel in which the couple hooked up with another couple in which the wife was in chastity. I answered, no, although it was an interesting idea. He then wrote suggesting a storyline in which the man and woman who were not in chastity devices had sex with each other while their partners had to look on in frustration, or perhaps to assist. I politely answered that it was interesting, but since I had other projects to work on, that he shouldn’t hold his breath waiting. He then responded by saying that if I could work in a twist in which the people wearing devices had to be diapered or better, to wear rubber pants, then that would be even better still.
I did not answer further. I do hope he’s not waiting.