I have mixed feelings upon discovering the events that unfolded over at Susan’s blog during the last two days.
Okay, sure… Susan is over her admittedly over-reaction; but that’s not the point. She’s a new blogger, perhaps a bit excited over the new Comments feature, happily posting away with the little birds of praise twittering in the background. Life, that is, the blogging life, to Susan is good: a loving husband, an enjoyable family, pleasant times, and she does what bloggers do – writes about the things on her mind, not all of which happen to deal with BDSM or even with sex.
Then the jackass brayed.
“i wuz lukin 4 bsdm sexx. u suk. were is it? u suk. i doont care abot buttrflyz. u suk. if my mom didnt need teh cumputer now id riite more abot how u suk.”
And here’s where I felt anger and disgust. I simply do not understand why some people believe that the anonymity of the Internet gives them rein to act in ways that would, in the “real world,” cause them to be ostracized, and perhaps nursing a lump on their head in the process. How miserable does your own life have to be, how small minded are you, and how insecure in your personhood do you have to be in order to act in such a way?
More to the point, what is it about the sex blogs, forums, and other groups that seems to attract the most loutish of you? Have you no other outlet for sexual expression than a lopsided keyboard and a handful of petrolatum?
So Susan, having learned to appreciate the wine and not wanting to sully her vineyard with the dregs, turned off the Comment feature.
And that’s a disappointment.
Blogging can be about self-expression, but how much better to express one’s self in a community which encourages such expression? In which one can be introspective, but to also to explore ideas. To trade, as it were, thoughts and tips about the wine with our neighbors.
Susan has added something little seen in this area of the blog world.
A sparkling sense of humor.
In an area in which so many of us take our kink so damn seriously, Susan set up shop with the admission that this is not a full-time endeavor for her. Whereas so many of us have a dozen references to “O/our J/journey I/into D/s” (and for some of us it’s a dozen a week), it’s pleasantly refreshing to see that some people aren’t making a lifestyle commitment to anything except having a little enjoyable sexual exploration.
You know. Fun.
And yes, I see that she’s turned the Comments back on after a couple of days of mood swings, tears, introspection , and (an assumption based on my experience) probably some wine and a bit of chocolate.
But something that she wrote sticks in my mind, and herein lies the seeds of my discouragement:
“I simply wandered into a community/lifestyle where I did not belong.”
How sad that Susan – witty, charming, funny, sensuous, and thoughtful – believes that it is she who doesn’t belong in this community.
If not her, then who?