$675.60

Another one of those stupid blogging memes making the rounds. This one purports to put some kind of price on your “crimes,” but the fines are so wildly unbalanced that it is more of a reflection of the person that wrote the quiz than the people taking it.

Here’s a list of the fines:


Smoked pot — $10
Did acid — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Crossed dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive drunk — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed out and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in the wild — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Peed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

I’ve seen this in several places, but I cribbed it from Rainy Day Dreams.

Some things are beyond my comprehension. Why is oral worth only $5, but anal sex is worth $80? Going to jail is $15, but having sex with someone in jail is only $25? And would that include the mere $20 for having sex with a MOTSS? And why is cheating on your SO ($10) the same as masturbating? Of course, there are some people who consider masturbation to be a form of cheating, but I suspect that this isn’t the case here.

Yeah, you can tell when I’m sick – I start nitpicking at the things that are supposed to cheer me up.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
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20 Responses to $675.60

  1. 2amsomewhere says:

    In looking over the questions, this makes me look like someone tried to create a weighted system of the old Purity Test, assigning a dollar value to the actions.

    I haven’t taken that test in ages. :-/

  2. elise says:

    Despite the fact that this meme irritates you I went ahead and added mine up. . .$350. I think I’m fairly innocent but the anal sex – damn that’s expensive.

  3. Tom Allen says:

    I have a link to those “Purity Tests” on my sidebar:
    http://www.armory.com./tests/purity.html

    I understand the desire to give some activities more weight, but some of these were just odd – in my humble opinion, of course.

  4. Suzy says:

    610.10. Finally a test I did well on. Great.
    A challenge would be to commit all your sins in one Friday Fantasy! Hope you are feeling better Tom 🙂

  5. Crash says:

    Hmmmmm …. $380.

    Mrs. Crash and I must lead boring lives.

  6. kimba says:

    no surprises here.. 195.60
    shit.. I got to pick up my game..

  7. kimba says:

    maybe – if I had $10 for every time I masturbated..?? (trying to bump up my score…)

  8. kimba says:

    $275.60.. ok – yes that anal sex is expensive.. no I didn’t just have it to bump up my score..

    Just did this with a ‘chaste’ friend.. damn if he didn’t get $780.60!!!!!

  9. Tom Allen says:

    Having sex for money is expensive, too, Kimba 😉

    How’d a “chaste” friend get $100 higher than me? Must have quite a background.

  10. USELESS MAN says:

    I couldn’t keep up the counting after all the times I’ve lied to my spouse..

    “Those jeans look fine, honey. Seriously. Can we go now?”

  11. Cat says:

    $385 but take out the anal sex and I am a pretty boring girl. A lot of them are a bit weird the sex in jail for one. I hope you start feeling better…

  12. darklily says:

    I agree Tom…the weighting of the “crimes” just made no sense. Using toys while having sex $30, but stealing something over $100 is only worth $20. Very weird moral compass, IMHO.

    FWIW, I scored $360…though I gotta say there are a few things on the list I wouldn’t mind doing (the things which don’t involve hurting other people), just haven’t had the opportunity.

  13. joeflirt says:

    I also agree that the “scale” was a bit out of whack… but I liked it anyway 🙂

  14. Pingback: “… but when I’m bad, I’m terrific.” « The Edge of Vanilla

  15. Bonnie says:

    *cough* I’m not going to put my fine up…but would just like add the following disclaimer…I was drunk and most of the above can occur in one night at staff Christmas break up party LOL

  16. Tom Allen says:

    I was drunk and most of the above can occur in one night at staff Christmas break up party LOL

    >;-)

  17. JayAllTheTime says:

    Late entry here.

    $350.50
    Yes I pee in the pool. No I’ve never been to jail.

  18. JayAllTheTime says:

    Wait-
    Is that per each? If so the wanking alone would be about $100,000.

  19. Tom Allen says:

    Hey there, Jay – the meme suggests that it’s a one-time fine. Otherwise most of us would not be able to calculate the numbers without knowledge of the quantum hypermathematics of the accounting department at the Sirius Cybernetics Corp.

  20. some people would be broke!

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