A new convert?

I don’t really know what the turning point for me was when exploring the idea of orgasm denial, nor does Mrs. Edge know when it began to come together for her (bad pun, sorry). She does remember that back when we dated I would sometimes bring her to orgasm, and refrain from my own climax, telling her that I preferred to hold on until our weekend date. The idea that I’d be worked up all the way home and then for the next few days made her excited; there’s something about being desired that gets the juices flowing for most people.

So, it’s interesting to see the concept developing right before our very eyes over on another blog: Sexy Momma, one of my new additions to the blogroll. Here’s a bit of her musings:

The thought of it really turns me on because I know that he WANTS me…

When men WANT a woman, they tend to be more flirtatious, pay more attention to the object of their affection, and hit on them more…

So the thought of him just holding back and staying horny, and wanting me madly gets my cunt so wet and hot… I have to change panties sometimes.

Oh my. I have to go open a window now.

But what’s even more interesting is what her husband has written about this:

… for me sex is usually about the end result. tonight i had enjoyed every inch of the journey and i was still feeling it.

more to the point, i knew if i came that all that would be over.

and i didn’t want it to be over.

i also knew my wife wouldn’t have a problem with it once she gave it a careful think, since enforced chastity is one of her fantasies.

she likes the idea of thinking of me out there wanting her, thinking of her . . . which is pretty much the state of my existence anyway, but here at 11 am the following morning i am feeling it with a vengeance.

every sense is heightened. ever bit of my body more aware.

Yes, that’s exactly what goes through my own mind.

Anyone who’s explored the Chastity or Orgasm Denial links with a browser has run into a wide range of kinks and fetishes associated with them, ranging from BDSM to cross-dressing, to cuckolding, to eunichism (not to be confused with Unix-ism, in which one’s sexuality is replaced by thoughts of small penguins and a desire to download software drivers and to smirk at Windows users). The wide range of associated kinks and huge number of people who seem to indulge them overshadow the basic, most fundamental and – dare I say? – vanilla aspects of Chastity and OD play:

Desire is simply fun!

Seriously, have some of you kinksters forgotten that sex can fun and enjoyable? No, really – even without the fetish clothing and bondage gear, sexual desire is fun and enjoyable, and more importantly, hot. Desire? Mrs. Edge literally drips with arousal knowing that I desire her. It’s not the $200 hunk of plastic that turns her on, it’s the idea of my desire and arousal.

Read Momma’s parting thought on her husband’s desire:

So the thought of him just holding back and staying horny, and wanting me madly gets my cunt so wet and hot… I have to change panties sometimes.

Hot Momma is discovering something new, and it’s rather inspiring to watch. Good luck, you crazy kids!

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in CB3000, chastity, kink, male chastity, orgasm control, orgasm denial, Relationship, sensuality. Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to A new convert?

  1. I have all sorts of kinky thoughts and fantasies- unfortunately no active sex partner to share them with.

    On to the topic though- To me the mindfuck is the best part. I don’t want to rush headlong to orgasm. I want it to slowly build, to stretch out, to play, to tease. THEN to release. With my wife one of the hottest periods was when we had been quite sexually active but then for one reason or another we had a few days off. I offered to service her, which I did while still clothed. Although I think I expected to get release, it didn’t happen that day. I was very excited all the way until I did get release a few days later.

    I don’t get off on the idea of most physical fetishes, rather the mental stimulation that seems to go along with them. My bondage and SM fantasies are more about the tease, denial, and trial by fire (pain before pleasure) that leads up to the release.


  2. maymay says:

    This is an excellent post. Also, Unix-ism is my new favorite fetish.


  3. roo-roo says:

    The Unix thing cracked me up.

    You’re right, lots of people simply forget to *enjoy* it. It’s fun for both, and that’s the main reason I’m into it. So many people think that t&d is about housework, or that it’s merely a tool to manipulate someone. I pity them; they can’t seem to enjoy it in and of itself.

  4. Fex says:

    I have to say that you have absolutely nailed it (again, no pun intended, well, maybe…) Anyway, what I mean is that nothing gets me hotter faster than having a man truly desire me with every ounce of his being. I think all most of us want is to be wanted.

    Interesting topic – glad I came across your blog.

  5. allforher says:

    I have recently discovered that having one amazing orgasm at the end of the week is far better than having an orgasm whenever I want. It’s thrilling to be able to please my wife sexually and to be able to restrain myself from release even though I could do it at any time.
    If only I’d known about this as a teenager. Imagine all the things I could have accomplished, lol.

  6. sexymomma says:

    Thank you Vanilla for sharing our thoughts this way since I really couldn’t…

    It is nice to see our ideas together in a post expressing what has been going on in our minds.

    Last night it ended, I think I teased him further than he could take… But I do hope he is up for trying it again.

  7. gilesenglish says:

    >Desire is simply fun!
    Yes. That’s a note I try to hit in my erotica. From the wearer’s POV, there is something marvelous about being stoned on lust.

  8. Tom Allen says:

    ML – I don’t want to rush headlong to orgasm. I want it to slowly build, to stretch out, to play, to tease. THEN to release.
    That’s exactly how I feel. I’ve turned down opportunities to release simply because I wanted more arousal time.

    I swear, I’m not normal sometimes.

    MM – Careful with the penguins; there’s an issue of non-consent there.

    RR – It really pains me to see that 90% of the chastity proponents are promoting it as a better way to get housework done. “Wear this device, and I’ll let you come if you mow the lawn, do the dishes, and give me a foot massage.”
    In another context, we have a different word for that type of economic transaction.

    Giles – “stoned on lust.” I’m going to steal that one.

    Fex – Thank you! Yes, it’s about the desire. Why is that such a difficult conception for some people?

    AFH – I enjoy this myself. We dont’ always employ the device; sometimes it’s just fun to be completely random about it.

    SxM – Thank you for allowing me to do so. I’m looking forward to your adventures with this.
    And it didn’t “end,” it’s just one episode. You’ll have others.

  9. M.T. says:

    I know this post is pretty old. But my boy and I are still working on figuring out how to make this work. (Well, I am working on it. I think he’s enjoying his break from my control over his orgasms and just jacking off a lot. At least I hope he is.)

    He gets “attentive” when teased & denied for even a fairly short time, but it’s attentive in a way that isn’t really service-oriented (which is not like him). And his desire to come overwhelms both of us.

    And then when he comes his level of submissiveness sometimes drops like it went off a cliff. This doesn’t always happen, but seems to always be a risk. I hate it and it makes him feel bad too. It doesn’t always happen in a way such that I can just press him back into service. (For instance, if he wants to get back to work on his thesis, I can’t tell him he’s not allowed to – that’s out of bounds.)

    By letting him come whenever he wants to (by himself, at least), it helps to keep his attention on me the rest of the time. So why do it at all? It’s so hot I can’t resist.

    I don’t know. I am really just musing.

  10. Tom Allen says:

    I know this post is pretty old. But my boy and I are still working on figuring out how to make this work.

    If you’re talking about a piercing for a chastity device, I can tell you that the frenum piercing that I got a year ago isn’t cooperating as well as we’d hoped. It’s not bad, but we can’t leave it in the device for more than a few days – the cream or lotions get caught around the balls and I can’t clean it properly; after more than a few days it starts to infect a bit. We recently left it on over a week, and it got an infection that took two weeks to heal.

    Even though the thought still squicks me, I’d recomment a PA instead of a frenum for more security with a device.

  11. M.T. says:

    Oh no, we don’t do devices (so far). I just tell him if he can come or not and he complies. I was just talking about the psychology of it.

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