Porn & Poetry Friday

These damn limericks need slickness,
And require too much mental quickness . . .
~~~

An extended Las Vegas play date
Was Ms. Claudia’s husband’s new fate.
The piercing,
it seems,
didn’t cause his big screams;
’twas the fifteen pound testicle weight.

Kimba, our girl from down under,
Has recently started to wonder
If her big purple toy
(the one shaped like a boy)
Was a sex-shoppe purchasing blunder
(and if she can get a refund-er!)

A new dominatrix named Kate
Was breaking a new subby-mate;
When she asked how he fared
he said he was scared,
But her caning technique was first-rate.

The sweet charms of our Ms. La fille
Are writ on her blog now, you see.
When the gentlemen beg
her to show them some leg,
She always replies “Oh, mais oui!

For Ms. Bonnie, the change in the weather
Means she’s looking for gear made of leather;
And, you can be sure
lined with kangaroo fur;
And trimmed out in platypus feather.

Alternative Journeyist, “E”
Has a vision of how good life could be;
Not a sexual dystopia,
But a Femdomme Utopia,
(Hey, d’you have a spot open for me?)

~~~
Okay, okay,
that’s enough for today;

Or they’ll be stuck in my head like a sickness.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Blogroll, Humor, Limericks. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Porn & Poetry Friday

  1. la fille says:

    Oh Tom, I do declare… I’m all flattered and flustered. Merci tellement! Tu es trop gentil, mon ami. 🙂

  2. Tom Allen says:

    LFM flustered? Sacre Bleu! 😉
    (Et vous êtes très gentil, vous-même ! Merci de me donner l’inspiration)

  3. Kate says:

    WOOT!

    A limerick just for me! Bless!

  4. kimba says:

    I have to admit.. I did like my pome

  5. Gillette says:

    Oh my…you got a whoop and a giggle out of me witht hat. Thanks!!! I LOVE when you do poetry.

  6. Garry says:

    Tom… what have you been drinking lately..? Are you on a revised diet?

  7. George says:

    There one was a plumber named Lee
    Who was plumbing a girl by the sea
    She said you’d better stop plumbing
    There’s somebody coming
    I know, said the plumber, it’s me!

  8. Tom Allen says:

    Gillette, a hard-working hooker
    Was such an enchanting good looker,
    There were fights ‘mongst the fuzz
    Over whose turn it was
    To pinch her, and frisk her, and book her.

    Garry, (from a reliable source)
    Was caught having sex with his horse.
    When asked if his fare
    was a stallion or mare
    Said “A mare – I’m not queer, of course!”

    George – I love that one!

  9. Mistress160 says:

    Platypus “feather”????

    Damn. Always knew those sneaking beasts could fly….

    (from another leather clad Aussie, lol)

  10. Tom Allen says:

    Yeah, those damn platypus feathers.

    Just a little of that poetic license that they’re always talking about.

  11. Art says:

    These poems are great! Was hoping it was a regular Friday Feature, but I guess it isn’t. Was thinking about adding this site to my small “Blogs Read” lists, but….

    Not sure if you’d want to be either “Lovely Dommes” or “Sexy, Snarky, Foodie”. Guess I need to make a new category. “Other Male Pervs” perhaps?

    as

  12. Tom Allen says:

    Art – If you call them “poems” then you’re going to get a caning from Bitchy. They’re limericks, and some people find them distasteful and inane.

    Fortunately, most of the people who think that are too stuck-up to be reading this blog.

    I don’t know about them being a regular Friday feature. I just into these moods and out they come; it’s like I have no control over it.

    A femdommy blogger named Art,
    Was blogging his femdommy part,
    When struck by the mood
    to write about food
    Which is a double entendering tart.

    See what I mean?

  13. Elizabeth says:

    Sorry I’m late to the post….hectic couple weeks in my life.

    I’m insanely flattered to be the subject of limericks by Mr. Edge. (Or possible just a tad insane, you never know.)

    Thank you. And you are welcome in any utopia of mine, anytime.

    hugs, E

  14. bitchyjones says:

    If I went around caning everyone who annoyed me I’d have a right bicep like a beachball

  15. Tom Allen says:

    If I went around caning everyone who annoyed me I’d have a right bicep like a beachball

    Lucky for you, then, that I live on this side of the pond, eh?

    Especially ‘cos you’d really be annoyed if you saw an entire page devoted to such nonsense.

  16. Art says:

    Hmmm. The one about me really really sucked. Guess they can’t all be gems.

    as

  17. Tom Allen says:

    The one about me really really sucked. Guess they can’t all be gems.

    You get what you pay for, Art
    😉

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