Little Head Thinking

Okay, look – I’m a guy, so in theory I should understand why this happens. But I really don’t have a good explanation. It’s just that some of us do things that, well, seem perfectly logical at first, only to discover later that it was obviously stupid; after which women look at us and say something like “What the hell were you thinking?”

No good answer. Sorry.

This is rarely so apparent as when the blood flow to our brain is diverted to our penis. Trust me on this, ladies; it’s not that we’ve got any hidden agenda, we just get these weird ideas and simply can’t be held responsible for our actions.

To illustrate, I’d like to hold up a case in point. I’ve mentioned elsewhere that I subscribe to several internet groups that focus on chastity and orgasm denial (Yes, there is that much interest in it. No, I don’t know why.). The other day, somebody emailed this little tale, looking for support:

I ordered a #7 chastity tube from loris.

He’s talking about the Lori’s Tubes – stainless steel penis cages that are custom-made and rather intimidating to look at. Most of the styles require a genital piercing in order to lock them on.

I then went to get my PA piercing. The piercer measured me and had to order the the jewlery. I came back in one week to get the piercing. I was lieing on the table not seeing what was going on until it was complete. Yes it hurt. He pierced at 12 guage and then ran a stretcher through to install the 10 guage jewlery.

See, this worries me right from the start. The piercing shops in my area carry a wide range of jewelry; why would you need to order something? But more to the point, he was pierced and then stretched immediately. Everything that I’ve read has suggested that one let the piercing heal a bit before stretching. Ouch!

When I looked at it I could not believe it was a 3/4″steel ring. I was expecting a curve or straight bar bell. I was almost ok with the situation until he told me the ring had a captive ball and needed special tools to remove. My plan was to get the piercing and remove the ball and bar when making love to my wife. I could thus hide the new toy I had and then lock myself up at work without my wife knowing of my kinky interests. I was now in a tough situation.

Okay, did you all get that? First, our friend gets it into his head that he wants a piercing for his new chastity device, but apparently does not understand what kind of hunk of metal is going to be parked on his penile real estate; and this after a visit to the piercer and needing to order it. How the hell does that happen?

And more unbelievably, he expects to hide the entire operation from his wife. Look, you can hide your occasional cigar, you can hide your Penthouse Forum collection, you can maybe even hide that new golf club – but a PA hole? And I’m not even sure I want to discuss why he would lock himself at work. I don’t know about everybody else, but at work is the last place I need to worry about having an erection, let alone having an opportunity to masturbate.

I told my wife and showed her the ring after about 1 week. She totally freaked out! I could not remove the ring and it hurt so much that I did not even want to touch it at that time. It is almost healed now but I can’t get the thing off because the piercer is out of this small town for awhile. My plan has been excellerated.

Okay, so let’s recap: Our friend decided to have what amounts to minor surgery so he can hide his device (which cost about $500!) from his wife. He ends up with a piece of jewelry that he can’t remove, and a very upset wife. And he claims that his “plan” has been “excellerated” (presumably he means “accelerated”).

He had a plan?

This is better than any of those reality tv shows, isn’t it?

Just a final comment: It would be easy to simply poke fun at this guy and leave it at that, but over the last few years, I’ve read stories about men who have ordered these various chastity devices (or who have built their own) and who somehow manage to keep their kinks hidden from their partners for surprisingly long periods of time. Some men claim to wear these devices at home, and even overnight without their partners being aware of them. Instead of being amused by these antics, I have mixed emotions of sympathy and pity.

How sad that a week goes by without your partner seeing you naked, copping a feel or a caress, or being intimate with your body. How does that happen?

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in CB3000, chastity, Communication, Disclosure, kink, male chastity, orgasm control, orgasm denial. Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Little Head Thinking

  1. bitchyjones says:

    God, that is just so fucking sad.

    Mind you, those Lori things are *amazing*



  2. Tom Allen says:

    Beej – The Lori’s Tubes are very hot. They are essentially the same things as the CB2/3000, but because they are made from stainless steel instead of polycarbonate, they give the impression of being much, much more serious. Mrs. Edge wants to take another look at them, but each time she looks at some other device, she finds she prefers the CB3k.

    But aside from the trainwreck of a situation described above, it’s always sad when two people live so far apart in the same house.


  3. bitchyjones says:

    Well I don’t like to make judgments about people I don’t know – I’m not a judgmental person, Tom, as you know – but my guess would be that the problem might lie in some kind of sexual incompatibility.

    Also: God, he’d go mad if I tried to put him in one of those pretty sparkly things…


  4. Fusion says:

    How sad that a week goes by without your partner seeing you naked, copping a feel or a caress, or being intimate with your body. How does that happen?
    Trust me it can happen.

    But this guy obviously did not do much homework or thinking ahead, and now he’s paying for it. Hell, I spent over two weeks deciding on a camera and lens combo, going to a camera shop for hands on comparisions and all. I wonder how long this guy researched? A day or two? And for something as major as a piercing…wow, not too smart there.


  5. Cat says:

    Not smart at all…I think we can all agree but also it is sad that he could go a week and his spouse not notice.


  6. Tom Allen says:

    Fuse – Unfortunately, I do know that it’s true. I’ve got half a dozen bloggers on my sidebar complaining about pretty much the same thing. And a few years ago, I could well have been complaining about the same thing. It’s still sad, though.

    I’m thinking about this guy in relation to what I did – I researched piercing for months before deciding to go ahead with it. I knew what size I needed, what shape, and did web searches to find piercers who were recommended in my area. I mean, jeez – you’re putting a 1/8″ thick piece of metal in your most sensitive spot.

    I’m not a judgmental person, Tom, as you know

    Beej – Thank you for being so honest about this. I know that some people may have had doubts.

    But they are rather cute little items. I have to confess that even I have a hard time resisting the urge to make something out of stainless steel. In theory, it’s not much different than what I’m wearing now, but something about the shiny, glittering, and very hard metal is just too arousing…


  7. Tom Allen says:

    Cat – it’s not just him! Our cultural schizophrenia about sex and sexuality seems to cause thousands of scenarios just like this. How many people reading this have some kinky secrets that they dare not tell their partner for fear of ridicule, humiliation or risk of a break-up?


  8. Gillette says:

    I know this couple where the guy wanted to be dommed but the wife wouldn’t so he found someone to. She used to beat him to the point of really bruising him. The wife never noticed until one time that he had a particularly brutal beating that cut skin.

    Unfortunately..someone wasn’t paying attention…unclean whip?…but the guy got a huge infection, had to be taken in and get antibiotics cuz he left it so long before getting treatment. I always wondered how the hell the wife never noticed until then.

    Says lots about some marriages, I guess.


  9. Becker says:

    Same as you Tom I did all the research, read everything I could and knew just what I wanted when I entered the piercing studio.

    One thing always makes me laugh thou. He was pierced at 12g then stretched immediately to 10g. I discussed it with the piercer and had mine done straight away at 6g with no problems. Would do it again no different. Smaller gauges can tear I was told, heavier gauges don’t have that problem and you save a return trip or two later.


  10. Tom Allen says:

    B – Actually, you’re right – I was pierced with a 10g frenum; no stretching or anything. I could probably have had an 8g if I’d really wanted, but frankly, the 10 looked daunting enough. And again, I went to a well-known tat & piercing place in my area.

    G – And it could easily have happened to this guy, too. How do you manage to care for your piercing for the first few weeks privately? You’re always carting salt and anti-biotics into the bathroom, you’ll have some blood or seepage in your underwear for a few days. And what if he had gotten an infection? Sheesh!

    Beej – It’s really tempting, but I’d hate to have on my conscience that I was contributing either to your further delinquency, or to the extended pain of the next guy who asked where you kept your leather bustier and strap-on collection.


  11. Lady Calliah says:

    how could he go so long?

    in a word?


    wifey may have just had a baby and the LAST thing on her mind is his dick, in any shape or form LOL

    I’m just saying. 🙂


  12. waiting4him says:

    How sad that a week goes by without your partner seeing you naked, copping a feel or a caress, or being intimate with your body. How does that happen?

    well i can tell you that happens here all the time…although i have no problem with the naked part…he sees me that way all the time, makes no bit of difference though…sad as it may be…it is what it is, as they say. Apparently i am not arousing enough for him…{sigh}



  13. MWK says:

    I had a boy that I took to get pierced while he was visiting me. He was pierced with a 10 and immediately stretched to a 8. The piercer said this can actually be good because it stops the bleeding.

    Then my former boy went home… to wifey… who didn’t find out about his piercing for almost a month. (Probably helped that they were and had been sleeping in different rooms for about a year.) I somewhat suspect the only reason she found out that soon is because she decided to give this Domming business a try.

    Now I hear they are living happily ever after. I wouldn’t know of course, because wifey hasn’t grown Dominant like confidence as quickly as she’s read some books and bought some toys, and had forbidden her hubby and boy any contact with me whatsoever.

    So, I may be the big bad adluterous Domme, but at least I motivated him to claiming that which he needed, and eventually that motivated her into claiming what was hers.

    And they lived happily ever after! (At least I hope they will)

    On the otherhand… my hubby can barely spend one night on the couch when one of us are ill or we are spatting – let alone months in his “own” room. And he can’t get an ingrown hair on his junk without me inspecting it… a secret piercing wouldn’t remain a secret for 24 hours in MY house.

    I can’t understand the absence of intimacy and connection that rules SO many homes and marriages these days. D/s is my prescribed antidote, and if your SO balks, tell then it’s Doctor’s orders.

    Dr. Tre aka


  14. gracie says:

    i have had my fair share of piercings and almost every time they run a tube through the hole to put in the jewlery. in a sense it does stretch the hole and i am sure it is to make it easier for the piercer to install the jewlery.

    i go to a pretty huge place in berkeley for all my piercings and tattoos and they are times they do not have the jewlery i am looking for. therefore having to special order in

    hoops always heal faster then barbells and the curved ones.

    to hide something from a spouse like that seems pretty severe. that is why communication is a nice thing to have in a relationship.


  15. la fille says:

    I can go for as long as I need to hide anything that would be seen if I was naked. In fact, I can go out of my way to be naked in front of my partner, with little notice on his part. It took him several days to notice when I shaved myself clean, even though I made no effort to hide it.

    Sad? Well, yes. It happens, though.


  16. kimba says:

    Tom I thought your cb3k was metal?
    You mean I have been fantasizing about you in metal for all these months and it is not true..?

    p.s. My current lover? I haven’t copped a feel for a month now.. mental note to self ‘must cop feel asap’



  17. Tom Allen says:

    Gracie – I was assured that barbells heal more quickly than hoops or rings, especially in odd spots where the skin would get pulled. The other day I went to a local mall, and looked in a few of the stores that sold piercings. The selection was smaller than I would have thought – however the several studios that I’ve been to always had the basics.

    MWK – The tube does help with insertions. In my case, it was so fast that I don’t know exactly what happened – not that I could see it. Mrs. Edge averted her eyes for a second, too, and it was over.

    LFM – Yes, it happens. There are dozens – hundreds – of bloggers who are testament to that. It’s still too bad.

    K – Why did you think that my device was metal? Ah, possibly because I’d written elsewhere that I had build a stainless steel device that we’d used before the CB3k. I keep promising to post pictures of them, but I never do.


  18. scott Kelly says:

    As one who sports a 4 gauge PA and has gone through the chastity thing, this reads like a fantasy by someone who hasn’t done it.

    The Lori Tubes are not the same as CB3k’s in the way they function or feel.

    I can’t imagine why or how a guy would do this behind his wife’s back. Shag someone behid her back? Sure. But doing anything behind her back is at the expense of intimacy with her.

    To me this fantasy expresses a deep longing for a kind of intimacy with his wife (or anyone) that seems to be eluding this guy. It doesn’t really matter whether any part of the fantasy is real or not. The emptiness is real.

    Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse


  19. scott Kelly says:

    One other point I just remembered. The PA piercing is typically very bloody for several hours afterwards. I went home with a surgical glove stuffed with gauze banded around my penis.

    Em and I had just started seeing each other. She came over for the evening and noticed immediately. She got a lot of oral attention that night.

    Piercings in different parts of the body react differently. We were in the French Quarter In NO for Millenium Eve and Em just had to get her tongue pierced. We had a reservation later that evening for Chez Paul’s.

    By then poor Em’s tounge had swollen up and she could barely talk. Eating was out of the question.

    My frog legs were out of this world.

    Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse


  20. Tom Allen says:

    As one who sports a 4 gauge PA and has gone through the chastity thing, this reads like a fantasy by someone who hasn’t done it.

    What?! Someone posting something on teh interwebz that isn’t true? The horror, the horror!

    To me this fantasy expresses a deep longing for a kind of intimacy with his wife (or anyone) that seems to be eluding this guy.

    Scott, I’ve noticed a tendency in the chastity web groups for some men to go a little overboard in expressing their desires for their kinks. It’s truly unfortunate in that for many of us just having kinks is often a roadblock to intimacy when our partner has no desire to become involved.

    Thanks for stopping by.


  21. kimba says:

    sheesh Tom.. do you reckon you could have an orgasm sometime soon??


  22. Tom Allen says:

    Are you volunteering, Kimba?

    Don’t worry, we’ve been having a lot of sex… and that part’s been pretty good.
    Makes me a bit edgy, though…


  23. Wow… Just wow. I am caught between wanting to laugh and wincing in sympathy at what the guy went through and is going through (physically and emotionally).

    Best regards,



  24. almost.. says:

    It would take at least six months for my gf to notice if I got a genital piercing. I would put money on it.


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