Okay, look – I’m a guy, so in theory I should understand why this happens. But I really don’t have a good explanation. It’s just that some of us do things that, well, seem perfectly logical at first, only to discover later that it was obviously stupid; after which women look at us and say something like “What the hell were you thinking?”
No good answer. Sorry.
This is rarely so apparent as when the blood flow to our brain is diverted to our penis. Trust me on this, ladies; it’s not that we’ve got any hidden agenda, we just get these weird ideas and simply can’t be held responsible for our actions.
To illustrate, I’d like to hold up a case in point. I’ve mentioned elsewhere that I subscribe to several internet groups that focus on chastity and orgasm denial (Yes, there is that much interest in it. No, I don’t know why.). The other day, somebody emailed this little tale, looking for support:
I ordered a #7 chastity tube from loris.
He’s talking about the Lori’s Tubes – stainless steel penis cages that are custom-made and rather intimidating to look at. Most of the styles require a genital piercing in order to lock them on.
I then went to get my PA piercing. The piercer measured me and had to order the the jewlery. I came back in one week to get the piercing. I was lieing on the table not seeing what was going on until it was complete. Yes it hurt. He pierced at 12 guage and then ran a stretcher through to install the 10 guage jewlery.
See, this worries me right from the start. The piercing shops in my area carry a wide range of jewelry; why would you need to order something? But more to the point, he was pierced and then stretched immediately. Everything that I’ve read has suggested that one let the piercing heal a bit before stretching. Ouch!
When I looked at it I could not believe it was a 3/4″steel ring. I was expecting a curve or straight bar bell. I was almost ok with the situation until he told me the ring had a captive ball and needed special tools to remove. My plan was to get the piercing and remove the ball and bar when making love to my wife. I could thus hide the new toy I had and then lock myself up at work without my wife knowing of my kinky interests. I was now in a tough situation.
Okay, did you all get that? First, our friend gets it into his head that he wants a piercing for his new chastity device, but apparently does not understand what kind of hunk of metal is going to be parked on his penile real estate; and this after a visit to the piercer and needing to order it. How the hell does that happen?
And more unbelievably, he expects to hide the entire operation from his wife. Look, you can hide your occasional cigar, you can hide your Penthouse Forum collection, you can maybe even hide that new golf club – but a PA hole? And I’m not even sure I want to discuss why he would lock himself at work. I don’t know about everybody else, but at work is the last place I need to worry about having an erection, let alone having an opportunity to masturbate.
I told my wife and showed her the ring after about 1 week. She totally freaked out! I could not remove the ring and it hurt so much that I did not even want to touch it at that time. It is almost healed now but I can’t get the thing off because the piercer is out of this small town for awhile. My plan has been excellerated.
Okay, so let’s recap: Our friend decided to have what amounts to minor surgery so he can hide his device (which cost about $500!) from his wife. He ends up with a piece of jewelry that he can’t remove, and a very upset wife. And he claims that his “plan” has been “excellerated” (presumably he means “accelerated”).
He had a plan?
This is better than any of those reality tv shows, isn’t it?
Just a final comment: It would be easy to simply poke fun at this guy and leave it at that, but over the last few years, I’ve read stories about men who have ordered these various chastity devices (or who have built their own) and who somehow manage to keep their kinks hidden from their partners for surprisingly long periods of time. Some men claim to wear these devices at home, and even overnight without their partners being aware of them. Instead of being amused by these antics, I have mixed emotions of sympathy and pity.
How sad that a week goes by without your partner seeing you naked, copping a feel or a caress, or being intimate with your body. How does that happen?