Okay, so it’s not just me…

I like to think of myself as having worked through a lot of those little vices and insecurities and affectations that plague us, especially when we’re younger. That’s why I’ve been rather surprised at myself, that is, at my reaction to my wearing these glasses. And I have to admit, I’m glad to see that either I’m not as vain as I’d thought, or that at least a number of you are as vain as I am. I swear, I keep looking at myself in just about every mirror that I’ve passed this week.

They also give me a headache, which people have told me is perfectly normal. This I don’t understand –  I can get headaches for free just by going to work. :-\

The progressive lenses give a bit of distortion that is almost dizzying, especially when I glance down at my feet when going down stairs. By the end of the week, I pretty much found that I’m better off just wearing them for reading and working at my desk; this makes sense to me, since my distance vision is fine.

I liked some of your comments, though, and this one caught my eye struck me as being particularly insightful:

Lady Lubyanka Says:

I think the face is one of the primary visual elements of our identity. I don’t think it’s strange that when there is any alteration to the face, or modification to it, that a person would spend a lot of time in front of the mirror re-identifying themselves with the difference.

( for that, read: “pssst! I’ve done it too, but shhhhh, don’t tell )

I guess that makes sense; it also explains why we spend so much time staring at ourselves when we change our (for women) hairstyle, or (for men) add or remove facial hair. Periodically I shave the beard and mustache and spend the next week wondering who the hell is looking back at me in the mirror. The concept of “re-identifying” is particularly intriguing to think about for people who do change their hairstyle frequently – do they already have a strong inner identity, and so frequent changes leave them with little impact? Or do they instead enjoy the frequent re-identifications?

And interestingly, since February I’ve lost about 20 lbs (about 8 kgs for those of you not in the US) , so I have been feeling like a different person for the last month or so. Maybe this is one of those phases that people go through, when they feel the need to “re-invent” themselves?

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Aging, body mod, Health, Medical, personality. Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Okay, so it’s not just me…

  1. Emma Kelly says:

    Hi Tom,

    I lost 25 pounds a few years ago, fighting off middle age spread, and have shaved my head in order to make a statement rather than become another statistic in the pandemic of male pattern baldness.

    Also, had to do the glasses thing when I was in my late 40’s. It got to be such a hassle not being able to focus my eyes, especially in the morning.

    Little portents of our aging.

    As for progressive lenses…The optician told me I’d get used to them. Maybe so but I wasn’t going stretch and distort my field of vision like it was like it was taffy pull. Headaches, stumbling around like a drunk. No thank you. Simple reading specs for me please.

    Welcome to the club, brother.

    ol’ scott
    Senior Division
    Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse


  2. chaos says:

    I find men who wear glasses extremely sexy ~ just the idea of a man flinging his glasses off after he starts kissing me in the heat of passion just flat does it for me. Wire rims are my favorite…..and I have to admit that you have some damn sexy eyes!


  3. Tom Allen says:

    Senior Division

    Great. How much are the dues, again?


  4. Fusion says:

    It was a bit disorientating for myself when I went to the progressive lenses, but I did get used to them easier I guess because I have been wearing them all my life…

    Chaos’s comment on flinging glasses in the heat of the moment made me laugh and remember a incident where my partner had to take them off for me as I had gotten into the moment and forgot to remove them. It had made us both chuckle at the time.


  5. At the risk of clubbing myself round the head accidentally with the insightful stick….

    I’ve noticed that a lot of people seem to want to express what kind of way they’re feeling by the clothes they wear. As clothes are fairly easy to change, that would seem a pretty safe way of doing that without having to make any longer term commitments.

    Hair is less easy to change as frequently, but makes a more committed statement than clothes can. Sometimes people choose to commit to something they’re not sure of, precisely because they aren’t sure of it, so as to try to feel more secure with it.

    I’ve observed that people will, more often than not, avoid changing things about themselves if they can, because change can take people outside their comfort zone. But if a person feels they are changing all the time already, then clothes and hair can reflect that.

    Having known people who do change their look regularly, I’ve concluded (rightly or wrongly) that they haven’t as yet found a look which they feel accurately expresses who they are, or would like to be. As a result, frequent changes are likely to continue until they do find what they feel is an appropriate look for them.

    I feel these changes are unlikely to stop happening as long as the focus remains on change from the outside.

    I’ve also noticed that these individuals, whether they’re changing their look on any particular day or not, do tend to look in the mirror more often than others might. Or perhaps they’re just feeling more self-conscious, perhaps because their identity or self-image isn’t something they’re comfortable with.

    Comfortable things can be ignored, like comfortable shoes or clothes. Uncomfortable shoes, clothes, or other things can easily and quickly become a focus.

    So I’d conclude that frequent changes of hair and/or clothes will be a reflection of some discomfort in that person’s feelings of identity and/or self-image.

    Occasional changes, such as with new glasses, would seem to be a normal part of life, and I’d expect people to want to look in the mirror frequently until they reorient themselves with their new external self-image.

    Gee, that was fun. 🙂

    ps: Oy vey, that was long.

    pps: Oooh, I got quoted and a post made around me, nifty. 😀

    ppps: Please don’t tell me the post wasn’t made round me and my comment, cos I’ll get all discombobulated and have to change my clothes, and maybe get a new hairdo.

    pppps: Whoops, I’m overdue for my postscript addiction pills.

    *takes pills*


  6. Tom Allen says:

    Luby – In the past, I was noted for having more PS than original content.

    BTW, the Fauxmissive /Fauxdomme thing was a tongue-in-cheek poke at some of the One True Way folk who insist that subs “should” do x, y, & z, and that Doms “should” do X, Y, & Z, or else they’re not “True” Dooms or subs.

    That would imply that Dommes who do whatever the hell they feel like, instead of adhering to some arbitrary rules, must not be “True” dommes; ergo, they are “Faux” dommes.

    I wrote about it here.


  7. Ah, I see. I read your post, very informative, thanks for the link. 🙂

    Perhaps there could be another category:

    Fauxnilla: n., adj., v., adv. A person who pretends to be vanilla whilst actually being a twisted perv [“You are such a fauxnilla”]; The state of being such a person [“You are such a fauxnilla spouse”]; To simulate vanillaness [“Stop fauxnilling right now”]; To do something in a simulating vanilla way [“I’ve never seen anybody do anything so fauxnillily”]

    From Old Perv. Faux meaning “lying so-and-so”, and nilla from “vanilla with no chocolate sauce whatsoever”


  8. Damn, forgot to close the bold tag at the end of “Fauxnilla”.

    Oh well, sue me for tag offenses. 😉


  9. Tom Allen says:

    I fixed the tag.

    Fauxnilla, eh? Hmm, actually, that label fits me pretty well, and a few other people I can think of.

    I’m stealing gonna borrow that one. 😉


  10. My pleasure, please do steal borrow away (with credit please, naturally 😉 )

    ps: Thanks for fixing the tag. 😀


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