Sexy Beast

The Goddess of Fauxdomination, apparently taken with my smoldering good looks and deep, soulful gaze, announced her arousal with a post entitled “Tomwearstheglasses = Sexy Beast.

Not that anyone could blame her, of course.

So, imagine my surprise when Google search on “Sexy Beast” did not turn up my own picture (as one would have expected), but rather this new product on the market for the enhancement of other sexy beasts.

Go ahead, check it out. I’ll wait right here.

What the hell is that? Cosmetic products for dogs?

I’ve been trying to think of something to say about this, but the truth is that I’m totally speechless. It’s not that I don’t like animals; in fact, I think they’re great – outside where Nature put them. I just don’t get the idea of why some people anthromorphize them to where they (the animals) are treated like people… better, in fact, than how many people are treated.

Oh sure, I understand pets for companionship. And I understand how people can get attached to them. But I think that some people with (as grandmother Edge would put it) more money than sense are not showing their love or appreciation for animals so much as “accessorizing” with them. To me, that’s exactly the opposite of loving one’s pet. You’re turning it from an animal into some kind of kewpie doll.

Ah well.

I’d rant some more, but Mrs. Edge wants to clip my nails.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Aging, Health, Humor, Shopping. Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Sexy Beast

  1. Vague says:

    Maybe the cosmetic companies are trying to make up for years of testing their products on animals?

  2. Tom Allen says:

    Do you suppose the products were tested on people before they hit the market?

  3. Nigel says:

    Tom I am sure this is just an anomaly created by a “quirk” in cyberspace. The Goddess of FauxDom is usually right about these things so I’m sure it has no connection with you.

  4. Vague says:

    “We’ve replaced this man’s regular cologne with Sexy Beast’s unisex Signature Fragrance, let’s see if his 210 pound St. Bernard can tell the difference…”

    “Oh for the love of sweet merciful god what are you doing? Help! Heeeeelp! Someone get this dog off of me!”

  5. Tom Allen says:

    ? Help! Heeeeelp! Someone get this dog off of me!”

    *laughs*

  6. Arafinwe says:

    Thanks for bringing this product to my attention, Tom,…..(I think). I purchased a bottle of the stuff, misunderstood the instructions, (and as I don’t own a dog anyway), applied it liberally to yours truly. Within seconds I dropped into a very deep trance and imagined with perfect clarity that I was on the end of the leash held by the purple woman. It all felt deliciously helpless and dreamlike and I had a great time. This would all be well and good if not for one small detail,……after emerging from the trance I found myself obsessed with chasing cars!

    If anyone knows what the antidote for this damn stuff is, please tell me. I think I may even have fleas!

  7. Fusion says:

    Just another sign that the world indeed is going to the dogs…

  8. Bear says:

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/2196707.stm
    you may be amused by this, on the note of doggy smell-pretty

  9. Tom Allen says:

    The judge advised the famous designer to “chill” and see the funny side.

    OFGS! What a moron.

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