Not a meme – 1

I’m referring back to the post from a couple of weeks ago in which Dee from Sexywhispers threatened offered to interview me. Because she asked such very good questions, the kind to which I wanted to devote more than a couple of tossed-off sentences, I’ve decided to take them on individually. Here’s the first one.

1–What are your favorite fetishes?

I know what you’re thinking. “Tom’s going to write about chastity devices.”

As if.

I enjoy chastity devices and orgasm denial. But ultimately, I consider that to be an offshoot of my favorite kink: bondage. Seriously, I used to have pre-pubescent fantasies about being restrained on shiny steel tables by aliens, who were almost always very attractive by human standards, with tight, revealing clothing. Or sometimes being held captive by vampire women, desirous of bending me to their will. Or being trapped by the tentacles of strange creatures, who used them to hold me down and to prod and explore various parts of my body. Or. . . well, you get the idea. I blame all those hours spent as a youngster reading horror and sci-fi stories, not to mention occasional forays to peek at my father’s collection of Playboy.

Ah, how I yearn for the days of my youth, when tentacle porn was new and exciting.

Also at the, er, top of my list are those things that are now called “fetish wear.” I love the sight of women wearing high-heeled thigh boots, snug vinyl corsets, tight leather catsuits, shiny spandex of black, red, silver, blue.

barnes1.JPGBitchy Jones’ tirades about the ridiculousnessosity of fetish fashion notwithstanding, I love looking at the form-enhancing (and when it’s tight, it’s all form-enhancing) leather and latex outfits that one never sees outside of Skin Two magazine or perhaps pro-domme advertising photos. I’ve had partners of all shapes and sizes, and I can’t think of any of them who could not have enhanced a romantic by the proper application of a corset, bustier, or some other item of apparel.suze2.jpg

Go ahead and flame me, but my two favorite colors on a woman (and sometimes on a man) are “tight” and “shiny.”

And speaking of tight and shiny, when I think about bondage I’m usually thinking “hard” and “fast.” Shibari (which I learned one evening, much to my embarrassment, is not an Italian liqueur) is beautiful to look at, and when properly done enhances the, uh, bondagee; but when I’m thinking about serious bondage I want something that works now! and keeps you from moving. Leather and steel manacles from the Stockroom or Extreme Restraints are usually on my birthday list (not that I ever get them) because these are serious restraints. The playtime velcro “luv cuffs” sold at adult novelty stores are probably effective, but I want something that screams “You’re not going anywhere until I say so, you son of a bitch!”

Interestingly, we don’t indulge in this very often because Mrs. Edge is, by her admission, a bit lazy in that area. Her perspective on the top/bottom thing is that all that is too much work to begin with, not to mention that once I’m restrained then I can’t do anything. She wants me to be able to move all my parts, the better enabled I be to satisfy her.

Women. The crazy ideas they get.

“So Tom,” you’re asking your monitor right about now, “what’s the deal with the chastity and orgasm denial? You’ve got hundreds of visitors coming through here every day and they’re not all here to see those pictures that you keep promising to post.”

Okay, okay, I really wasn’t going to end a post on fetishes without mentioning chastity. I mean, c’mon – in the last year this blog has become one of the most popular sites on the net for chastity surfers; I couldn’t let my fans down.

Chastity devices are, in some respects, a kind of bondage for me. Snug fitting and as escape-proof as possible, they place restrictions on what kinds of pleasure I can give myself, and turn that control over to my key-holding wife. As in bondage, I don’t want to imagine that it’s escape-proof, I want to know that no matter what, I’m not going to be able to pull out of the device to wank. I want to feel the frustration, to be driven to distraction with unquenchable lust. That’s part of the reason why I’ve been trying out various piercings for the last year; I want to be able to use the very comfortable CB3000, but to know that not just 75% or 85% of the control is out of my hands, but that it’s 100% up to somebody else.

lockw2p.jpgThe captive segment ring in my frenum has needed a little time to heal, mainly from stretching out the original hole, and last night I tried it out, just for an hour or so. I didn’t have any discomfort, so sometime in the next few weeks we’ll probably give it another try. I’ve already modified the cage to make things easier to clean, and we’re hoping that by the holidays we’ll be back where we were a couple of years ago.

One more note on fetishes: whoever discovers where they come from will probably become fantastically wealthy; barely a week goes by on some discussion board without a newbie who appears, wondering where his or her particular fetish came from and why it exists. I have no idea where mind came from. I’ve read that some of them are simply “there,” hardwired into the brain and only waiting to be discovered. Yet the chastity kink didn’t happen that way for me. That is, I’ve had the bondage fantasies as long as I can remember, but it took maybe a year or more between the time I “discovered” that there were male devices, and the time when the idea seemed to become exciting and erotic to me.

Next interview question: Where do men and women get it wrong?

Picture credits:
Some unknown shot I grabbed off of the web years ago, apparently a scan from some magazine. Anybody know anything about this?
Suze Randall – one of my favorite fetish photographers.
Extreme Restraints – one of their new version of manacles.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Blogging, Blogthing, CB3000, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, D/s & BDSM, Disclosure, Fetish & Kink, kink, male chastity, meme, orgasm control, orgasm denial, sexuality. Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to Not a meme – 1

  1. Fuse says:

    I’ve read that some of them are simply “there,” hardwired into the brain and only waiting to be discovered.

    I think that’s it exactly it. Just like my son’s sexual choices.
    I have found that as I’m “waking up” from my sexual “winter”, I have a few idea’s that have come out of the cobwebs.
    Now I just have to convince someone to help me act them out…

    Excuse me now, I have to go take a picture of a airplane.

  2. Fuse says:

    (..again with the fucking airplane fetishes.. give me strength..)

    Tom – your tenticle porn made me wet my pants! Laughing!

  3. kimba says:

    that was my last comment btw.. not fuse’s..
    we are obviously having identity issues..

  4. Tom Allen says:

    Fuse, there are all sorts of theories as to why we like or become obsessed with certain things. Childhood trauma, pre- or post-pubescent exposure, toilet training… it’s all bullshit and guesswork.

    Good luck with that airplane thing.

    Kimba – Like I couldn’t tell it was you thinking about my penis. Again.

    Suzy – You were the one to suggest that my blog needed more pictures.

  5. Fuseba says:

    We’re having identity issues now?

    And whats wrong with my fetish? It’s just a plane simple one…

  6. Kimson says:

    …one might even say a plane vanilla one…

  7. Tom Allen says:

    Ugh. You’re getting flighty now that those puns are taking wing.

  8. darklily says:

    Oh, well that explains why you asked about my boots. ; )

  9. sexywhispers says:

    Oddly, I never wondered where my fetishes came from….it is just so in my nature to accept what sexually is for me and others. What I wonder is why people fight them so often. As long as we are not talking death (another post / another place), let go of it and enjoy it. I mean….its not a matter of how many pairs of sexy, studded, high heel shoes I can own…its a matter of what I can do with them.

    Strange thing….the simple word “fetish” bring people to a point of pain in the docs office trying to figure out why they have a thing for alien girls in tight spandex probing their body (hidden star trek facination anyone??), but does it really matter?

    Great post Tom….I will link up in my post this afternoon. I appreciate your thought and insights.

    Airplanes huh? (laughing) whatever turns you!~~Dee

  10. Fusion says:

    LMAO over here Tom, you are a master at the puns…

  11. Tom Allen says:

    the simple word “fetish” bring people to a point of pain in the docs office […] but does it really matter?

    Dee, while in some respects it doesn’t matter, the problem is that we have to live with other people – some of them at a distance, like cow-orkers, and some of them in the same house. It becomes a problem when those of us with very strong tendencies live with people who do not share them, or worse, who detest them and try to make us feel sick or perverted.

    When you’re married with a house and two children, few things can match the emotional pain of trying to deal with these fetishes, these ideas and desires that taint your sexuality and cause a rift between you and your partner. Of course it brings people to the therapist’s office – your entire life and everything that you’ve worked for is on the line, especially when your partner has no interest in exploring them with you, or tries to make you feel ashamed for something that isn’t your fault.

    People who have Low Libido partners have a taste of this kind of pain; but having a non-vanilla fetish can be very trying on the person who has no idea what to do with their desires, especially when they can’t think of any way to satisfy the cravings. I think that it’s perfectly natural to wonder where such ideas came from when you feel that they are destroying your life.

  12. bbjones says:

    Tom, one fantasy that you seemed to touch upon in your stories, but otherwise rarely talked about is the idea of the male wearing a strapon and pleasuring the woman while still being denied. What are thoughts on that scenario? anyone you know who discusses it?

    thanks!

    (btw im a regular reader, just never post)

  13. Pingback: Sex words « The Edge of Vanilla

  14. rich wolf says:

    wow, i really like the picture of the two gals in tight suits. Any idea who they are? Or what video they’re on?

    • Tom Allen says:

      Rich, the pic of the two women together is by Suze Randall, long-time fetish photographer. You can probably find a lot of her work around the web, and her web site has some free graphics.

      The single woman in the catsuit is a scan from an old magazine; again, it’s something I ran across on the web years ago. I’ve seen a few other pics from the same photo spread on the net, but have no idea where or how to find them.

  15. rich wolf says:

    hi tom,

    Thanks for the info. Very informative. =D

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