I’m writing this because at the moment, I feel thankful.
As I write this entry I’m about to pass the
200,000th 201,000th hit on this, the WordPress version of The Edge of Vanilla. It has been 14 months since I’ve moved over here, and now this blog now generates between 750 and 1,000 hits per day, which exceeds what I used to get in a week back when I first started. While I’m not surprised that I get a lot of hits for the erotica and the hot chastity porn, I’m always amazed – pleasantly, of course – that I continue to get people who seem to want to read about the mundane details of my life, my take on sex-related news reports, or some of my rants about modern culture. No less amazed is my wife who keeps asking just who the hell is reading this, anyway. The other day she came to the conclusion that there must simply be a lot more perverts than she had ever imagined.
I’m trying to take it as a compliment.
I’m thankful for any number of things that have led me here. I’m thankful that I’ve had over a thousand comments, overwhelmingly positive, telling me that you’ve enjoyed my commentary, perspectives, and insights. You have encouraged me to keep writing.
I’m thankful that my wife, the long-suffering Mrs. Edge, actually encourages me to write. I see so many blogs by people who keep them secret from their partners – some not without good reason. She understands that I have certain needs and desires that she never hope to accommodate, and not only gives her blessing to my pursuits, but occasionally
likes to consents to hear about them.
Yes, it’s always a difficult life when geeks marry outside of our culture. After sitting in front of a PC all day, she has no desire to be within twenty feet of one when she gets home. I, on the other hand, am setting up a wireless network in the house so the Edgelette and I can IM each other. Also, I can bring my laptop to the family room and blog while Mrs. Edge watches “The Biggest Loser” and “Flip This House.” You know, in the interest of supporting “quality time” in the Edge household.
I’m very thankful for some of the friends I’ve made, the people who have allowed me a little peek into their lives, and who have offered suggestions and insights to my own.
I’m also thankful for the people who, though they never delurk to comment publicly, email to ask me questions. Yes, I’m thankful, because it means that somehow I’ve been able to inspire some amount of trust in order for them to ask me, a complete stranger, for insights and advice on their own lives.
I’m especially thankful for a comment left by a regular reader almost a year ago, who wrote one of the nicest things I’ve ever heard said about me:
“Your awkwardness and embarrassment about sharing your kinks makes you more human. With your talent as a writer, you could have easily come onto the blog scene and declared yourself the Uber Submissive to lots of accolades from the true believers.
“Instead your honestly and “realness” have helped other people become more comfortable with moving past the “edge of vanilla.”
“As for feeling less “manly” about your submissive nature, nothing could be farther from the truth. I’ve read your entire bog. You have explored your sexuality and taken an active role in trying to determine how it fits into your relationship. I know that can be a difficult journey. Some men simply decide their needs are paramount and pursue them without any regard of the cost to others.
“What always impressed me about your writing is that however strong your kink/sexual desires may be, they never seem to supersede your desire to be a good husband, a loving father and a decent man.
“There is no greater testament to masculinity than that.”
I actually tear up sometimes re-reading that because I rarely feel like I deserve such praise.
And I’m thankful that, against all reason, it’s the “realness” of my life itself that draws people here. Again, it’s amazing to me that I’ve managed to have all of this without resorting to daily postings of eye candy (unless you count those pictures of me scattered around here), or ivory-towered pronouncements on the benefits of “alternative” lifestyles, or declarations of how certain lifestyles “should” be led. I know that I draw a lot of readers who are interested in chastity and orgasm denial, and I think that I’ve tried very hard not to press any of my own opinions on them as Gospel.
Well… with the exception that if you think that locking $200 worth of plastic around your genitals will somehow “fix” your relationship, then you’re probably better off spending that money on therapy.
I’m not going to resort to false modesty; I know that I write well – in my other life people sometimes even pay me to write or edit for them – but I am thankful that I’ve been able to find a creative and entertaining outlet in this, and that I’ve been able to help some people along the way.
Thank you for allowing me to make a mark on your world, just as you’ve made one on mine.