What is your sexual nationality?

Okay, this is too funny not to share.

Are you British in bed?

Yes, it’s a commercial for K-Y Products, but the Flash test leading up to it will keep you entertained for a while.

What nationality is Tom Allen?

Your bedroom powers are legendary!
Your lovemaking technique is an extension of the Samba; sensual, athletic, rhythmic, full of meaning, and like the Samba, it keeps going until daylight, or until a neighbor calls the police.
Give yourself a pat on the back… but be careful: you’re liable to give yourself an orgasm.

Update: Take the test several times, there are different questions.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Blogthing, Erotic Musings, Humor, Interesting Oddities, Musing & Amusing, sensuality, Sexuality & Relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to What is your sexual nationality?

  1. thisgirl says:

    I’m Taiwanese. ‘selfless in the bedroom – you live to pleasure others. You embrace technology and gadgets and are not afraid to use the science of personal lubrication in the bedroom to make sure you partner receives the upmost pleasure. . Depending on battery life that is.

    well…i definately like his gadgets! TG xx

  2. Cat says:

    I am Congolese? “Like the murky waters of the Congo your lovemaking is wild and unpredictable and always, always deep. You are very possessive of your territory in the bedroom and always put up a fight before being conquered.” I took it several times and continued to get the same result so I guess I am Congolese then 🙂

  3. Marianne says:

    Not surprisingly in the least, I am French:

    “For you, lovemaking is performance art. A form of highbrow expression every bit as rich, complex and meaningful as cinema, literature or ballet.”

  4. Tom Allen says:

    TG- I like that one!
    Cat – Deep and possessive? Like… wow.
    Mar – A form of highbrow expression? I’m going to be reading your blog in a new light.

    I took it again, and changed up the style of my answers:

    Making love is a religious experience!
    Passion means everything. Merely holding hands with your loved one can move you to tears, and you periodically set fire to your bed after sex as a sacrifice to the gods of love.

  5. I’m with thisgirl – Taiwanese. Which amuses me mightily, but isn’t too far off the mark… sometimes 🙂

    xx Dee

  6. Elizabeth says:

    I.Am. Dying.

    This is one of those reasons the internet was invented. Forget national defense.

    Check this out!
    72% Russian
    Your love making is revolutionary.
    It will inspire others to stage their own sexual revolutions for generations to come. You’re a Czar in the bedroom. Merely satisfying your partner will never be enough for you…you must conquer them completely. This has probably got a lot to do with the fact that you are no stranger to oil … even the type that is crude.

    How funny is that? Yours has you watching out for those pesky orgasms and mine has me conquering completely.

    Plus, I got borchst as a recipe and I love borschst!

    hugs, E

  7. Fuse says:

    Ok, it took four tries, but I finally got a match, first time I was 93% Russian, then 56% French (ewww), then 86% Brazilian, and last time 66% Russian.

    Pass the Vodka…

    I loved the lights on or off question, did anyone else flip the switch and watch what she did? Hi-fucking-larious!

  8. em says:

    That was cool! I’m French.

  9. Tom Allen says:

    I loved the lights on or off question, did anyone else flip the switch and watch what she did? Hi-fucking-larious!

    Oh man – I had to run this through eight friggin’ times to get the light switch question. It was funny, though – each time you flick it back on she does something different.

    I managed to get French twice, another Italian, Russian, and Swedish three times (Yah, ees goot).

  10. Patty says:

    How on Earth do you find these things? First the mathematical ass-quation and now this quiz. Too funny.

  11. Patty says:

    How on Earth do you find these things? First the mathematical ass-quation and now this quiz. Too funny.

  12. Ahna Nomis says:

    I am 55% Swedish! LOL, apparently I am uninhibited in the bedroom…

  13. gillette says:

    I’m Italian…imagine that…cuz…I’m half Italian! Plus the whole religious experience thing is just too funny.

  14. kimba says:

    .. not making this up.. but Cat and I are the same nationality.. x

  15. kimba says:

    what’s with the fecking snowflake avatars????

  16. Kate says:

    I’m with E and the Russian…what a hoot!

  17. Tom Allen says:

    Kimba – The “snowflakes” are called “Identicons” and are a mathematical representation of a number generated by your net “route” taken to get here. WordPress users get their own avatars (if they have them) and non-WP commenters are assigned the identicon if they don’t have some other identifying code.

    WP utilizes Gravatars and Wavatars, but those of you coming from, say, Blogger get identiconned because WP doesn’t recognize the Bloger avatars.

    And don’t take this the wrong way, but you and Cat = the same? Look, I’ve seen pictures…

    Gillete – That whole passionate thing – laughing and crying and shouting and going overboard… I’m half Italian ancestry and I’ve gotta say that my family must come from a completely different part of the boot. They were mostly cranky and dour.

    Ahna – Back in the 80s, National Lampoon did an “International” issue in which they played up the stereotypes. The travel writer went to Sweden and his first introduction was a half naked woman cab driver who demanded oral sex as payment. The rest of the visit to Sweden went accordingly.

    Patty – I’m a fast reader? I don’t know – I’m an inveterate surfer. I don’t watch TV at night, I surf. One link leads to another…

  18. havingmycake says:

    Im another Taiwanese…

  19. Pingback: sexual nationality « Coquette in Bed

  20. martine noman says:

    je suis porteuse d’une houdini et aussi d’une cb 3000
    j’adore etre encagĂ©e, etent androgyne ,je suis en femme en permanence ,je porte que des jupes , ainsi mes organes sexuels peuvent pendrent entre mes cuisses , je vis avec ma copine qui me laisse encagĂ©e e tme libere que pour ses envies personnelles , je suis trop contente de porter une cage

    I am wearing a houdini and also a cb 3000 I adore being encagée, and ent androgyne, I am as a woman permanently, I wear that skirts, thus my sexual organs can pendrent between my thighs, I live with my girlfriend who leaves me encagée E tme releases that for his personal desires, I am too glad to carry a cage

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s