HNT – Hand iN my panTs

I’m really trying hard not to go on and on about my weight and fitness and all that stuff. Really. But you know, it’s really one of the bigger, or at least, more exciting things happening in my life right now, at least on any type of on-going basis. I mean, the economy still sucks, which makes work a constant grind. We’re getting into the holiday season, so Mrs. Edge and I have been busy with the various community-oriented projects that we get sucked into work on as part of our civic duties. I don’t have any big household projects going on – except that I’m two weeks behind in raking the leaves that just won’t stop falling around here.

I swear, next time one of my southern friends tells me how much they miss New England in the autumn because of the foliage, I’m going to bury them under several tons of the foliage that falls in my back yard.


Anyway, the weather has finally gotten chilly enough for me to put away my bicycle. Yeah, I know some of you hard-core folks are out there in woolies and thermal underwear, and getting ready to put on the deep treads for the snow, but I plan to exercise where it’s a little warmer. Mrs. Edge and I re-upped our membership at the local McGym, just the basic membership is all we need, since we’ve got some equipment at home. I just want to be able to use the treadmill and stationary bike for my cardio workouts.


I set up a program on one of the bikes to mimic the 5 or 6 mile sprints that I’ve been doing all summer. It’s not quite as scenic, but once in a while I do have the opportunity to observe the backsides of attractive women using the treadmills, stair-steppers, and ellipticals in front of me.

Hey, you learn to make do, right?

Something that really gives you some perspective on exercising and weight loss is how freakin’ hard you have to work just to burn off snacks, never mind dinner. It takes 3,500 calories of work to burn off just one pound of fat. Over the summer, I had a couple of routes that I used that were mostly flat-ish (or what passes for that in New England), and I could do 5 to 6 miles in about 25 minutes or so. That’s an average of 15 miles (24km) per hour, which kept my heart rate up between 130 and 150, leaving me panting and gasping at my doorstep when I finally arrived home.

And here’s the perspective: all that work burned up the equivalent of a small cheeseburger. Or a small slice of chocolate cake. Or 2 honey & nut granola bars. Or one scoop of Ben & Jerry’s New York Chocolate Fudge Chunk.

Yup, that’s all.

In fact, if you had a 20 oz. bottle of one of those “…Ade” sports drinks, you’d have taken back in half of the calories that you lost in the first place. Something to think about the next time you’re swilling the replenishing fluids while you’re working out. That’s why it’s so difficult to lose weight. We’re often unaware of just how many calories we’re both eating and burning off.

Anyway, you didn’t come here to read this; you’re here for the HNT.

Last month I put on my good suit to go to some boring function, and I discovered that the pants literally – you know, in the literal sense of the word – fell off my butt. Big deal, suits are always cut a bit large, right? Well, the other day I put away my summer clothes and pulled out the flannels and sweaters, and pulled on some old jeans from the back of the closet. While they didn’t fall off my butt, they were dangerously close. Just for the hell of it, I tried to see how much room I had.


Sorry, not much lighting in the nether regions.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Body Image, Exercise, Fitness, HNT and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to HNT – Hand iN my panTs

  1. GreyOwl says:

    Geezzz Tom… I was hoping to take a break and read some really good ‘Edge of Vanilla’ stuff. Good thing I played on my blog for a few minutes first… now it’s down to the treadmill. Yep, snow here in the Rockies too… no biking today.


  2. Jennybean says:

    YAY for you!

    And you better keep letting us know you posted at O’s place!

    I look at the guy HNT’s!



  3. Vixen says:

    Snow here too….sigh…. Keep up the excellent work 🙂


  4. havingmycake says:

    Well Done! And isnt it satisfying when your trousers do that 🙂 Mind you, now you have to go clothes shopping so you probably dont appreciate it in quite the same way that a woman does 🙂


  5. Em says:

    Good for you, Tom. It’s nice to have a goal like that. And if that’s what’s on your mind then please go on and on..


  6. Luka says:

    I am muchly impressed!


  7. Elle says:

    Ohhhh that’s awesome, congrats! 🙂

    You’ll have to work on that lighting though 😛


  8. Fusion says:

    Snow report: none! And keep it that way I hope!

    Congrats Tom, good work!
    Have fun watching those backsides…


  9. darklily says:

    No snow here, much to the disappointment of my two kids. They haven’t been around long enough to realize that it usually only snows here once a year.

    It is pretty cold though …brrr. The kids also don’t understand that they can’t wear shorts in 30 degree weather.

    It’s too bad you aren’t nearby…I could use a workout partner. I don’t seem to be babe to get motivated. I did somehow manage to fit into my smaller jeans last week. I have no idea how that happened.

    Congrats on the continued weight loss. Hey…how ’bout a video clip of those pants falling off? ; -)


  10. Tom Allen says:

    GO – What? Aren’t all my posts great EoV stuff?

    JB – I can’t believe it never occurred to me to do that before. But I’m glad that somebody looks at the men HNTs. We’d all be pretty embare-assed, otherwise.

    Vx – I don’t hate the winter, but I do like summer more. Much more.

    Cake – OFGS, the damn clothes shopping. Mrs. Edge is thrilled at the prospect, but I have to admit that I’m like a lot of other guys – it’s one more chore that ranks somewhere between cleaning the gutters and digging up the septic tank.

    Em – I sometimes feel guilty when I’m not sex blogging. Hell, let’s just chalk it up to my age.

    Luka – Thank you!

    Elle – I knew somebody would have something to say about that.

    Fuse – It’s a tough job, but somebody’s gotta do it.

    DL – You’d be a great workout partner – especially if you were one of those women on the treadmill in front of me 😉


  11. Aarkey says:

    Dude… send those leaves down anytime. I miss it. I miss it big. :-/

    Oh and you really are one furry bugger! But I’m sure you already know that!


  12. Tom Allen says:

    Rkey, are you calling me a furry!?

    Dude! I mean, Bugs Bunny in a dress was hot and all, but I really went more for Jessica Rabbit…


  13. Aarkey says:

    Technically you are more of a bear type. Though you aren’t gay.

    Either way, without a tail or furry ears (at least not shown in pictures) I’m not going to call you a furry. But I’d still consider you a friend even if you were a furry. I just wouldn’t go to a convention with ya 🙂


  14. Tom Allen says:

    I just wouldn’t go to a convention with ya

    Okay, that’s fur enough.


  15. selflesslock says:

    Congrats Tom! I myself have been trying to shed some pounds due to health reasons, and this gives me a bit more motivation! Thanks!!


  16. Mykey says:

    All true, but exercise doesnt just help because you burnt off 100 calories while on a bike. It also helps because the extra muscle you develop uses energy even when you are doing nothing. The more the proportion of muscle, the higher your metabolism. So even lazing around burns off your dinner. How cool is that as a bonus for a bit of extra tone.

    I suspect you knew that though!



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