HNT – Hand iN my panTs

I’m really trying hard not to go on and on about my weight and fitness and all that stuff. Really. But you know, it’s really one of the bigger, or at least, more exciting things happening in my life right now, at least on any type of on-going basis. I mean, the economy still sucks, which makes work a constant grind. We’re getting into the holiday season, so Mrs. Edge and I have been busy with the various community-oriented projects that we get sucked into work on as part of our civic duties. I don’t have any big household projects going on – except that I’m two weeks behind in raking the leaves that just won’t stop falling around here.

I swear, next time one of my southern friends tells me how much they miss New England in the autumn because of the foliage, I’m going to bury them under several tons of the foliage that falls in my back yard.

Anyway, the weather has finally gotten chilly enough for me to put away my bicycle. Yeah, I know some of you hard-core folks are out there in woolies and thermal underwear, and getting ready to put on the deep treads for the snow, but I plan to exercise where it’s a little warmer. Mrs. Edge and I re-upped our membership at the local McGym, just the basic membership is all we need, since we’ve got some equipment at home. I just want to be able to use the treadmill and stationary bike for my cardio workouts.

I set up a program on one of the bikes to mimic the 5 or 6 mile sprints that I’ve been doing all summer. It’s not quite as scenic, but once in a while I do have the opportunity to observe the backsides of attractive women using the treadmills, stair-steppers, and ellipticals in front of me.

Hey, you learn to make do, right?

Something that really gives you some perspective on exercising and weight loss is how freakin’ hard you have to work just to burn off snacks, never mind dinner. It takes 3,500 calories of work to burn off just one pound of fat. Over the summer, I had a couple of routes that I used that were mostly flat-ish (or what passes for that in New England), and I could do 5 to 6 miles in about 25 minutes or so. That’s an average of 15 miles (24km) per hour, which kept my heart rate up between 130 and 150, leaving me panting and gasping at my doorstep when I finally arrived home.

And here’s the perspective: all that work burned up the equivalent of a small cheeseburger. Or a small slice of chocolate cake. Or 2 honey & nut granola bars. Or one scoop of Ben & Jerry’s New York Chocolate Fudge Chunk.

Yup, that’s all.

In fact, if you had a 20 oz. bottle of one of those “…Ade” sports drinks, you’d have taken back in half of the calories that you lost in the first place. Something to think about the next time you’re swilling the replenishing fluids while you’re working out. That’s why it’s so difficult to lose weight. We’re often unaware of just how many calories we’re both eating and burning off.

Anyway, you didn’t come here to read this; you’re here for the HNT.

Last month I put on my good suit to go to some boring function, and I discovered that the pants literally – you know, in the literal sense of the word – fell off my butt. Big deal, suits are always cut a bit large, right? Well, the other day I put away my summer clothes and pulled out the flannels and sweaters, and pulled on some old jeans from the back of the closet. While they didn’t fall off my butt, they were dangerously close. Just for the hell of it, I tried to see how much room I had.

Sorry, not much lighting in the nether regions.