They Ain’t Pagan Virgins…

Some people fire up their web browser and run down the lost of bookmarks, perhaps check out a couple of the links that they’re run across, and then they’re done for the night.

Here at Edge of Vanilla Labs, though, we’re constantly on the prowl for interesting or informative links because we believe that it’s important for us to be a resource for our community – whatever community you happen to believe yourself (or me) part of.

Back over the summer, I ran across an interesting site (set up in a blog format) run by five women who took turns addressing questions from the readers, or who would sometimes use those questions as the basis for an article of opinion or interest. I lurked for a bit, and then wandered off to look at other pretty, shiny things and sort of forgot about it until another blogger pointed out that they had a post concerning chastity devices. The chastity community is small and easily distracted, so naturally I headed over there for a peek. I found that the discussion about the devices was good; it was fair-minded, and they treated the devices (or at least, the concept of the devices) as an interesting toy to be used to spice up one’s relationship. This, some of you realize, is rather close to how we view it around the EoV Labs.

What makes this noteworthy, however, is that this perspective comes from a group of women that, in other circumstances, you’d expect to be somewhat critical of using anything to spice up one’s sex life. Not so, however, for the Christian Nymphos. Their site, now a little over a year old, has had about 2-1/2 million hits, certainly a testament to their progressive thinking and their well-written articles on how to develop and maintain a close and fun intimate relationship while remaining within the bound circumscribed by a Christian marriage.

Yes, you read that correctly. Conservative Christians are allowed to have an enjoyable sex life.

Now, at this point it would be easy to hoot and point and make some rude comments about Christians in general – and certainly, not all of this would be undeserved. And I know that some of you are probably wondering why I’m even mentioning this in the first place, since a) I’m not Christian, and b) I’m not exactly conservative. I’m writing about them because I think that any group of people who make a point of reviewing their cultural mores with an eye toward a more fulfilling intimate life deserve some strokes. Also, I know that a certain number of people who read this blog are themselves conservative and mostly vanilla, and would probably gain something by visiting their site.

It’s written more from a woman’s point of view, and is really aimed at women – Christian women – in such a way that allows them to confront and deal with some of the issues they may have over enjoying their bodies, their husband’s bodies, having sexual pleasure, and the various other issues that keep women from enjoying a good relationship with their husbands. Resonating with their mission to help other women to add spice to their sex lives, the five women have adopted pseudonyms based on various spices: Nutmeg, Cinnamon, Peppermint, Ginger, and Cumin.

No, no, that’s pronounced kyoo’-min, you fools. It’s like a spicier kind of carroway.
Sheesh!

While I think that they do an excellent job of interpreting Biblical script in the context of developing intimacy, I suspect that many of my regular readers will no doubt take issue with some of their views. For example, while they are fine with the use of various toys in the bedroom, they consider porn to be off-limits, in part because it introduces (in a fashion) other people into the relationship. Likewise, threesomes, swapping, swinging, and related activities are regarded as cheating of a sort. Marriage is between two people and should remain so. They consider sex outside of marriage as still inappropriate. BDSM, especially the more painful or humiliating aspects, are also off-limits. I found this last bit interesting because there are several large web groups advocating Christian BDSM, which explain why it’s really okay.

That said, I found it fascinating that the Christian Nymphos were able to make a case for the use of various sex toys, and for trying various positions normally only seen in an illustrated Kama Sutras. They even have a page on which they list various positions, and grade them on relative difficulty. And it might surprise some of you to learn that certain activities which might be considered slightly kinky are perfectly acceptable. Light, teasing bondage is okay, as is oral sex and even anal sex. At least one CN made a case that “pegging” – i.e., a woman taking her man with a strap-on – is perfectly fine. They even describe how a woman can make a tempting cheesecake picture to send to her husband.

The Christian Nymphos are not going to appeal to everybody, and they’re fine with that. The blog is heavily moderated, and comments are checked before begin posted. A trackback to my own blog was manually deleted, and they explained that it was because they prefer not to link to any other blog that has nudity or graphic sexual descriptions. I understood, and was not insulted; it’s their blog and they can run it any way that they like (I explained that I hadn’t expected a link to this blog). They do, however, have links to various other marital and intimacy resources for Christians, some of which I’ve seen in the past.

While I’m not recommending that everybody who reads my blog should check them out, I will say that those of you who feel so disposed will likely gain something if you do.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Blogging, Marriage & Relationships, relationships, Religion, sexuality, Sexuality & Relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

13 Responses to They Ain’t Pagan Virgins…

  1. gillette says:

    I learned of a program called 30 Days of Sex that a pastor in N. Cal and other states were promoting. Nice to hear they are also working it in other ways.

    And I still don’t get how one can be “sex positive” and put so many rules around it. Have to be married, have to be this, that, can’t be this, don’t do that.

    Whatever, just me, the paganwhorebrat.

    • Tom Allen says:

      They aren’t sex positive in the sense that you or I are probably thinking. Rather, their aim is to explain to people – mainly women – that the messages that they have received for most of their lives about sexuality are wrong, that it’s not just okay, but actually good to have an enjoyable, varied sex life within the confines of your Christian marriage.

      Note that the word “confines” denotes boundaries. We all have them, and in fact, sex-positive folk and kinky folk talk incessantly about defining, moving, and negotiating those boundaries. For some Christians, the boundaries are not negotiated, but set within the parameters of their faith. The only negotiation is within those parameters.

      One other point: Not all Christians accept those same parameters because many of them interpret them differently, based on the different understandings of their readings of the Bible. The CNs are more conservative than most of the Christians that I know, but certainly much more open than many of the ones I’ve read elsewhere on the web.

  2. Fusion says:

    paganwhorebrat?

    Now you made me laugh Gillette 😉

    Thank you Tom, EoV Labs comes through again…

    Er, sorry for using the word comes… heh heh.

  3. Elle says:

    Very informative post, I think I’m gonna go read their article about pegging 😛

  4. darklily says:

    Nutmeg, Cinnamon, Ginger and Cumin are spices. Perppermint is an herb.

    Couldn’t help myself. : P

    • Tom Allen says:

      :snerk:

      Actually, I had wondered about ginger – it’s a root, right? So how could it be considered —

      Off to WIki…

      “A spice is a dried seed, fruit, root, bark, leaf, or vegetative substance used in nutritionally insignificant quantities as a food additive for the purpose of flavor, color, or as a preservative that kills harmful bacteria or prevents their growth.”

      In the kitchen, spices are distinguished from herbs, which are leafy, green plant parts used for flavoring purposes. Herbs, such as basil or oregano, may be used fresh, and are commonly chopped into smaller pieces. Spices, however, are dried and often ground or grated into a powder. Small seeds, such as fennel and mustard seeds, are used both whole and in powder form.”

      Well, there is a distinction, isn’t there? And now I’ve learned something.

  5. As a Christian I feel it is my solemn duty to peruse that site for hours on end.

  6. Mike says:

    Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!

    _________________________________
    Making Money $150 An Hour

  7. Milliscent says:

    Thank you for this post Tom, as someone who does not have much contact with the evangelical Christian subculture I found it interesting to learn that at least some of the women within it believe that they have a right to pleasurable sexuality.

    • Tom Allen says:

      M – I thought for quite a while before writing about them because it’s very easy to pick on them for (as Gillette mentioned) not being sex positive.

      But within the parameters of how they view sex within their own lives, the CNs are sex positive in that they are trying to bring a message (mainly to women) that God wants you to have a good intimate relationship and that sexual health goes a long, long way in that regard.

      AFAIC, any group that is willing to think out of the box and offer up some benefits to others earns some warm fuzzies and the EoV Labs “Seal of Approval”.

  8. thisgirl says:

    You have been gifted with a friends’ award for being a great and inspirational blogger! If you wish to view your award and join in then please visit here 🙂

  9. Steve Mayhew says:

    Your website have great content, Tom. It really have.

    Michelle has a religious background, and her father is a priest, which made her decision to adopt a D/s dynamic with me all the more surprising. But not out of the question. I suspect there are probably quite a few couples like us out there. After all, we’re really just like a regular Christian ‘surrendered wife’ couple, but with a few key pronouns changed around!

    • Tom Allen says:

      Steve, a few years ago I stumbled across some websites that explored BDSM in a Christian context. This is a difficult enough concept, but even more so is the idea of Christian Femdom. However, there are a few web resources. One of them, Christianfemdom.com, seems to be down (the website has been taken over). But the link to their original (if ancient) site is still active:
      http://www.geocities.com/christianfemdom/parlor.html

      Unfortunately, other searches for Christian Femdommery come up dry.

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s