Chastity Captions

Okay, I knew about lolcats and I’ve seen other examples of pictures that have had captions added in order to create a humorous mini-scene. But I was unprepared for the sheer number of websites and online groups that exist in order to trade and show off captioned pics of a more sexual nature.

I got the idea to hunt around for them after I saw some of the work by ptathuk, who recently set up a blog to showcase his art: Chastity Fantasies of an Obsessive Compulsive. ptathuk, being a fan of EoV, even dedicated a picture to me, having been inspired by something I’d written a couple of years ago. Since then, I found myself looking forward to the several pics a week he would put up, as he seems to have a good sense of balance with his subjects. Focusing on captions about chastity and orgasm denial themes, he features women who range from fetish models to ordinary, from stick thin to Reubenesque.

Anyway, I went hunting for more, and ran across a dozen websites and even more web groups. Amazingly, some people actually pay money, as if they were subscribing to a porn site. I’m not sure why, but I have a theory that well-done caps have the appeal of a short story, the ability to spark the imagination, and give just a little bit of tantalizing visual appeal.

Unfortunately, most of what I have found is not particularly well done.

While a lot of the cap enthusiasts manage to find pics of attractive women in various stages of dress, a large number of caps are ruined by horrible spelling, grammar, and punctuation ( They are also ruined by poor choices of scenarios, but I’ll concede that this is only a personal preference on my part). Yes, go ahead and sneer at me, but running across a typo in a 2, 500 word or even a 500 word article is forgivable. But a 25 or 50 caption in 18 point bold type should be perfect: no misspelled words, clear grammar, proper capitalization, and – please excuse a pet peeve of mine – the correct form of “your” or “you’re”, “there” or “they’re”, and “its” or “it’s.” And don’t even get me started on using text-speak. “U,” and “ur” for “you” and “you’re” are fine when you’re texting or IMing, but they look ridiculous in grown-up written conversation.

I mean, for cryin’ out loud, guys, ignoring that adults should know how to use the correct spelling of a word, how hard is it to compose in a text window and use spell check?

In giving some thought as to why the bad cops bothered me so much, I think it’s because when you look at these pictures, you are transported – for a short time – into a miniature fantasy world, where the perfect woman is playing out your ideal fantasy, your chastity device is truly inescapable (and comfortable), and the other sexual situations present no obstacles. To me, running across glaring errors jars me out of that fantasy back into the real world, in much the way that an annoyingly buzzing alarm clock jars you out of that nice dream and reminds you that you have to put in yet another day in the quarry.

I have to take a moment to mention that from what I have seen, the majority men creating these pictures seem to subscribe to the “cruel, cuckolding dominatrix” school, as most of the pics I’ve seen tend to be the sneering mistress with captions such as “Ive got u in the best belt. Ur never gonna cum again, chasty!” or “ur little dickie is to small too satisfy me anyway so we might as well lock it up PERMENTLY!” or “oh stop whining or ill soder the lock shut. (giggle) now get over hear and fluff my luver so he can give me the orgasims that u cant with ur little dickie.” I’m not complaining, mind you, since it’s not like I’ve commissioned anybody to do some for me, but seeing this over and over does get tiresome, and as I’ve mentioned before, a vanilla-ish partner who might happen upon such pictures is going to get a very skewed perspective and likely be scared off.

One of the things that I like about ptathuk’s caps is that he tends to keep them simple and gentle. They tend to be mainly about people who are just starting to get involved in chastity and orgasm denial, and many of them seem to take place at around the time when one partner (generally him) has proposed the idea; the caption is her reaction to his suggestion, and (because this is fantasy, remember?) generally shows her to be excited at the prospect. Interestingly, several of them feature women (ptathuk only seems to do straight caps) who have already been involved in chastity play, and who suggest ways to push the boundaries, and then ask if he will be more excited by the prospect.  I found that to be a nice touch, as it puts a more real-life aspect on the situation, making the mini-fantasy more believable.

I couldn’t resist trying my hand at a few of these. I’ve discovered that there are several online programs that will import a picture and allow you to insert text into it – even a picture that is elsewhere on the web. I’ve also discovered that captioning pictures is a huge, time-wasting pain in the ass, so I’m happy to let others do the work.