I’ll bet that the chastity enthusiasts saw this post title and are expecting a tale of frustrated please, or perhaps a description of a device gone wrong.
No, this post is about the sad, and perhaps pathetic Mr. Albert Freed.
Allow me to quote from the Sexuality & Gender Law Blog:
Albert Freed sued the Hanes underwear company for damages when “his dream trip to Hawaii was ruined as a result of a manufacturing defect in the new underpants his wife had bought him for the trip. It seems that Freed, an admittedly heavy-set fellow, could not fit his entire manly estate into the undies, and the briefs “gaped open and acted like a sandbelt on his privates,” causing him actionable discomfort.
And all this time I’d been concerned about not spilling hot coffee in my lap. Who knew that there were more likely possibilities of injury?
If you can bring yourself to read the S&GL commentary without becoming disgusted at our legal system, click on over to Above the Law, which has a slightly drier account, and a few questions:
A question for the guys out there: How long would it take you to correct a problem involving sandpaper and your penis? Don’t you think penis chafing is something that requires immediate attention and decisive action?
And while we’re here, how long does it take for you to notice your stuff hanging out where it is not supposed to be?
And if you’re so inclined to read a PDF of the court’s final judgment in this case, here it is.
This is the part that gave me pause:
More sad is that he felt that he couldn’t ask his wife to take a look, either. I’m totally aware that some people become extremely embarrassed about their genitals and their sexuality, but come on. In two weeks of a vacation to a tropical island, she didn’t have the opportunity or inclination to notice, nor he to ask?
On a side note – as somebody who often goes commando in the warm weather, I found it, well, weird that Mr. Freed has such a non-standard method of donning his undergarments.
Plaintiff testifies that he dresses by placing the underwear inside the pants that he plans to wear that day and pulls both on together.
Guys? Any of you ever hear of this?
This case is sure to generate a lot of head shaking, all the way around.