Steel Chastity Devices: You’re doing it wrong

I love the British press.

From the Sun (UK):

Man’s penis gets stuck in a pipe


Published: 07 Jan 2010

A MAN had to have his penis cut free by SEVEN firefighters after he got it stuck in a steel PIPE.

The crew used a METAL GRINDER for the delicate 30-minute operation, after doctors at Southampton General Hospital tried to release him without success.

The medics failed because the restricted blood flow had caused the man to become aroused.

A crew from the Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service used the four-and-a-half-inch grinder to cut the pipe free on Tuesday morning.

Afterwards, the patient was given an anaesthetic and although his willy was left bruised and swollen it was otherwise unharmed.

The anxious man aged about 40 failed to explain how the pipe had become stuck.

A Hampshire Fire and Rescue Service spokesman said today: “Initially the crew did not have the appropriate cutting equipment to free the man.

“It was a very delicate operation that required a very steady hand and the crew was worried about things getting too hot during the cutting.

“It’s certainly an unusual call-out and I’m sure the man won’t be getting into that situation again.”

It rather reminds me of the guy last year who panicked and needed his own chastity device cut off by the local fire department.

What is it with you crazy kids across the pond, that you keep needing to be cut out of things like this?

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
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7 Responses to Steel Chastity Devices: You’re doing it wrong

  1. Jz says:

    Great. I now have stuck in my head the image of some nimno trying to use his weiner and a steel pipe to create a limbo bar.

    *face in hand*

    You’re killing me, Tom…


  2. Hee. The Sun is the worst of all the British papers, but I won’t deny it’s one of the funniest, on account of the fact that it uses capitals seemingly at random.

    I’m sure they’ll claim it’s for emphasis, but then again why did they have to capitalise MAN?


    • ptathuk says:

      Yes Innocent Loverboy, you’ve correctly identified the Sun newspaper as a ransom note. It’s steals people’s intelligence, and won’t give them back. No price demand, as yet.



  3. Becker says:

    In this case Tom, it would seem the poor chap rather under estimated himself only to find out once he was in, that he wasn’t coming out!!


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