I guess I should spend more time choosing those cards at the drugstore.
AshleyMadison.com, the dating website for married people, tells momlogic exclusively that Mother’s Day is the second-busiest day of the year for female member signups.
On a typical Monday, between 2,500 and 3,000 women join AshleyMadison.com. But on the day after Mother’s Day last year, AshleyMadison.com saw close to 24,000 new signups. They anticipate that 30,000 women will join this year on May 10 — the day after Mother’s Day.
This “day after” trend is nothing new to AshleyMadison.com: Their biggest day of the year for female signups is the day after Valentine’s Day, and their third-biggest day is the day after New Year’s.
Why are holidays like these such turning points for women? Noel Biderman, president and founder of AshleyMadison.com, says, “Because they have expectations — expectations that their partnership will be celebrated and even romanticized — but that is often not what transpires ….”
But even if your guy comes up short, Dr. Golland warns moms to think before they cheat. “Cheating on your spouse will only further complicate a challenging situation — and add more carnage to your marital problems,” she says. “The damage created by an affair is very difficult to repair. That is not to say that repair after infidelity is impossible, but to rebuild the trust after such a traumatic event is hard. Statistics show that many marriages do not survive this level of betrayal.”
Often, we hear that men cheat because they aren’t getting enough sex at home, especially after women turn their attention toward the kids. This situation presents an question: are the men who aren’t celebrating and romanticizing Mothers Day doing so because they resent the lack of attention from their wives? If so, this becomes an interesting dynamic in which it seems that everybody involved becomes disenchanted.
The article continues:
Last Mother’s Day, momlogic spoke with a woman who said that Mother’s Day ended her marriage. “I knew Mother’s Day was off to a bad start when my husband informed me the night before that the holiday had nothing to do with him and it should be between me and the kids. In the morning, I was handed a cold cup of coffee by my husband. My card and gift were left downstairs. The card and gift had been bought hours earlier, after my husband asked me, “So, what do you want, anyway?” No thought, no advance planning, no special effort put forth at all. It was so disappointing. I chose to sleep on the couch that night. My husband chose to move out. Mother’s Day essentially marked the end of our marriage.”
Mothers Day ended her marriage? Sounds to me as if it were already on life support. That’s not just a wife vs. mom problem, her husband was already checked out of the relationship.
Some advice follows, though:
Is there any way to help ensure that you won’t be disappointed on Mother’s Day by your partner? Psychologist Dr. Michelle Golland says that you have to speak up! “I think it is important for moms to share with their husbands what they would enjoy for Mothers Day,” she says. “If you want a day off or breakfast in bed, say so. I told my husband what I would enjoy to do, and I of course will reciprocate for him on Father’s Day. For some reason, we WISH our partners were mind readers. But guess what? They aren’t! So share with them what really matters this year to you.”
I keep telling my wife what I want for Fathers Day, but for some reason, that threesome with Angelina Jolie and Pamela Anderson just never materializes.
Know what I think?
I think that we should make sure to love and appreciate our partners 365 days each year, not once a quarter because of some holiday. That goes for Valentine’s Day, Christmas, birthdays, and even Sadie Hawkins Day. Let’s stop letting the greeting card companies run our lives, and take charge of our relationships for a change.