Record sign-ups at Ashley Madison

Last week, momlogic blog reported that the extra-marital hookup site, Ashley Madison, has noted that the day after Mothers Day is typically the second largest day for women to sign up (the day after Valentine’s Day being the first). This year was no exception, and in fact, passed expectations.

From momlogic:

31,427 Women Signed Up to Cheat After Mother’s Day

Momlogic has exclusively learned that 31,427 women signed up for yesterday — which is over ten times the average number of women who typically sign up on any given Monday.

Ashley Madison took a sample survey of the women who signed up yesterday, and found that:

  • 67 percent identified themselves as stay-at-home moms.
  • The average age was 36.
  • Over two-thirds had been considering an affair before Mother’s Day.

That’s a hell of a lot of disappointed women.

I wonder what the statistics are for the day after Fathers Day?

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Cheating, Marriage & Relationships, Sex news, Sexuality & Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Record sign-ups at Ashley Madison

  1. I have a hard time understanding the logic and emotions behind this. If it were her birthday, or especially as a group if it had been Valentines day, then I could perhaps understand. On those special days she might expect special attention, romance, dining out, gifts and a good hard dick at the end of the evening. But Mothers day is not really a day that is designed around ‘him’ but rather the special bonds between mother and offspring. Not really making much sense to me. 🙂


    • I’m guessing you don’t have children. I don’t either, but I do get this.

      Mothers cannot have children in a vacuum. Every single one of those mothers had somebody‘s children.

      Children are rewarding, yes, but also unbelievably hard work. Primary caretakers work incredibly hard all the time, often without a break for weeks and months at a time. And when I say without a break, I mean it – 24 hours a day, every day. This is a job that cannot be put down and left at the end of the day. Childcare is ongoing, forever, even when the offspring themselves are elsewhere. And it takes more than a mother to bring children into this world.

      Now imagine being told by your co-parent(s) that Mother’s Day is nothing to do with them because they have a penis.

      That’s not just poor relationship strategy, that is incredibly rude, minimising, invalidating, denigrating, and shitty.

      Is it unreasonable to expect some consistent show of appreciation from the other parent(s) of the aforementioned offspring? Does this make sense to you now?

      Ok, I admit that was a bit of a rant. Sorry. 🙂


  2. Ohh boo hoo, let me get all those poor mothers a Kleenex. Simple solution, keep your legs closed or use birth control.

    Sorry, but I’m not going into the double standards of women in America crying about how they can’t have it all, when many already do. Equal rights requires equality both ways. The nuclear family pretty much no longer exists and many stay at home fathers raise the kids, as do gay couples of both genders. And yes mothers do have children in a vaccum, so to speak, or a test tube, and many adopt so there is no father there to buy them stuff and pump up their egos when they feel that their life is shit and then want a man to blame it on.

    If a woman wants to have an affair, or cuckold her husband, thats her call. But blaming mothers day as the reason is childish and bullshit. Their sex life is their business, but using their kids and husband as the reason to go have affairs is unfair. They need to grow up.


  3. Issues? Not really, just challenging being so intelligent and naturally superior, and waiting for the rest of the herd to catch up, lol. 🙂


    • nursemyra says:

      Hey I have kids but even when I was still married I wasn’t bothered by whether or not my husband did anything special on a greeting card mandated day of the year.

      31,427 wives signed up the day after Mother’s Day? If that statistic were true (and I for one am not buying it) then that mean there’s 31,427 women out there who should find a hobby, get a divorce, work on their relationship, take up blogging, read a book, take their kids to the beach, plant a vegetable garden or take a good hard look at themselves before they decide an extra marital hookup is a good way to assuage their egos and fix whatever makes them think that having an affair is a good idea


  4. Aarkey says:

    Well… Tom it looks like you’ve got a fiery exchange going on there.

    I’m just going to say that in my opinion it is NOT “ok to look” – while my wife and I are definitely not traditionalists in all things, we do both agree that love is a monogamous commitment between two partners.

    If two people want to define their relationship differently, that’s their business.

    But it’s not ok to touch. It’s not ok to try it on for size either.

    Flirting however is ok. I need to flirt. I love to flirt. It’s pretty much my lifeblood 😉


  5. Leslie says:

    I don’t think the issue is a card-and-gift thing. I think it’s more a general apathy thing, and yeah, I don’t think Mother’s Day itself can be blamed for bringing the pre-existing apathy to light. That woman’s marriage was already dead.

    Quite simply, BOTH partners should be putting each other first every day of the year.

    There. Problem solved.


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  7. RogueBambi says:

    Yeah, right. Keep your legs crossed, otherwise you can’t expect any human decency, ever again, even from your partner. This is just the kind of talk that only reinforces the already unproductive stereotypes. I wonder if the mommies who singed up to cheat have a partner just like Vanessa?

    When my sister had a baby, spent 6 months not sleeping while her partner was “late at work” or with friends, when the partner didn’t do anything for moher’s day either, it just went to show how little he cared. How is it so difficult to take your loved one into consideration? if it means something to her, you should also akcnowledge it. But I guess you have to be in some sort of a real life commitment to realize that. This might come as a shck but children are not only the women’s own selfish project, and that it’s completely unreasonable to expect the women to carry the whole workload just because they have the right sex organs. Shouldn’t it be the other way round just beacaue of that?

    Vanessa, this one’s for you:

    Women Make Babies For Their Own Selfish Reasons.


  8. Most men don’t want kids, or at least not until much later in life. Most women know the easiest way (especially before paternity tests) to trap a man is to get knocked up. They pick the ‘bad boy’ and think they are going to change him. Then when they see they can not, they are bitter and pissed. The house with the kids and the picket fence was HER dream, usually not his. Best way to avoid this? Keep your legs closed or use birth control. I know for some that will be difficult as they will have to get an actual job rather than be supported by their husband or welfare, but that would be “equality”. Life is not a romance novel or a fairy tale. Grow up.


  9. RogueBambi says:

    I kind of think that growing up is accepting one’s responsibilities.

    Yes, if you can’t face the possible consequences, you shouldn’t have sex.

    That goes for everyone. Nobody can get knocked up by themselves. I wonder why you are only blaming women for reproducing?(And why there even is a place for blaming in something that’s written in our genetic code…) I know it’s hard to understand, but men do have a lot to do with it, and they also have a responsibility for their bodies and like everyone else – also for their partners – just like women do. That’s what being an adult is. It’s appalling to throw the whole burden of reproducing, or shielding from it with birth-control, to women.

    I also think you have a pretty narrow and closed-minded view of men altogether. Some men really want the picket fence. Hell, some men want to lock their cock in plastic. But I’m betting it’s not because they’re trying to “keep their legs crossed”.

    Why are you the expert on what all women do an all men want?

    Kudos for reinforcing stereotypes in so many magnificently selfish and ignorant ways.

    Ps. Sorry for feedin’ the t****, Tom, but I’m feeling pretty edgy about the subject just about know. I have to add, to you, that I am not one of those disappointed women!


  10. I take issue with being called a troll. Arrogant? Sure. Opinionated? You betcha, lol. Obstinate? No, not really. Obdurate? Perhaps.

    My “expertise” comes from having lived on this planet for quite some time. Being observant. Questioning. Wondering. Reading. Being a life long polemicist.

    My view of ‘most’ men regarding monogomy and sex is based on reality. Divorce rates. Multiple offspring from multiple mothers. Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton, Jesse James, JFK, Spitzer, Jefferson to name a few that are in the public eye, plus the billions that are not.

    Its not an issue of blaming women, the point is if they don’t want to raise kids alone, take precautions. Sure, men should as well. But we can’t blame the husband of the woman that died in a car wreck while not wearing a seatbelt. She is an adult and should have put on her own seatbelt. In this case the seatbelt is birth control.

    Maury Povich anyone, lol ?

    You mentioned genetic code, males genetic code is to reproduce. As to in fuck any willing female any where, any time, all the time. Its instinctual and biological.

    You are of course entitled to your opinions. But show some respect and if nothing else, be willing to back up your opinions with facts. I have my facts. Its called history, biology and reality. Have a nice night. 🙂


  11. Tom Allen says:

    I think that it’s easy to miss the larger point: it’s not about mothers or children, it’s about the overall relationship itself. Remember — the *biggest* day for AM after Mothers Day is after Valentines Day.

    Are there good husbands who don’t care a thing about Mothers Day? Yeah, probably, since quite a large percentage of guys simply don’t tend to think about special days as a rule.

    But in general, I’d venture that *most* husbands who are engaged in their marriages do make an effort of sorts – a card, cooking breakfast, etc. So, when those moms set some kind of ultimatum (in their heads) and head off seeking an affair because they didn’t get breakfast in bed, it’s really because the entire relationship has been on a downslide. Discussing this in the context of parenthood is moot; it’s not about parenthood, or even about sex. It’s about bad relationships.


  12. RogueBambi says:

    @Vanessa. You are demanding respect after you throw a line like “grow up” around just because someone doesn’t think that equality equals men not giving a damn and having a damn well right, too?

    You honestly think that you can get away saying you base your opinions on facts – yet you can’t give any but bring out the bravado exploits of yellow press instead? Pretty convincing. Especially since we all know that all men are like Tiger Woods, in all ways possible.

    I’d be fascinated to know what the divorce rates tell you. From where I’m standing it’s pretty hard to make a sound hypothesis (even a hypothesis!) that divorce rates = men who don’t want babies, but please, enlighten me.

    Its not an issue of blaming women, the point is if they don’t want to raise kids alone, take precautions.

    Like don’t have any? That’s a good way to go travelling the evolution pop psychology road. Seems a plausible alternative for human kind.

    Might do you some good to read about the Myth of male weakness instead of tabloids. Argumentation like yours isn’t only damaging to women, it’s hurtful to men, too. (I’d say. I wouldn’t want my partner cheating on me because I’m not meeting hir sexual or emotional needs or if I’m basing my lifestyle choices on gender stereotypes and to that end not caring emotionally, physically or financially for my own offspring or my loved ones, but I’m not saying everyone is like me.)

    Most of the men in my life just roll their eyes if someone mentions Tiger Woods. The man needs help, they tell me. I know. And so do so many others.

    Leslie: Quite simply, BOTH partners should be putting each other first every day of the year.

    Yeah. That’s called love. That’s when people can start thinking about having those damn kids who no one wants to take responsibility for. 😉


  13. There is no way to refute your positions as you are all over the place making virtually no sense. I don’t read tabloids. I don’t think Jefferson was in a tabloid, lol.

    Guys roll their eyes about Tiger to not offend and appease the woman who they are trying to impress, so she will continue to spread her legs for him.

    Tiger sucks right? Lets see, a well built and probably well hung guy, nice looking, worth a billion dollars, a internationally known celebrity with an endless supply of smoking hot hotties that want to fuck him. Yea, most guys would HATE to be him, lol. 🙂

    I have no desire to hijack Toms thread or blog. Feel free to write on my blog or contact me directly and I will educate you on reality, while lining you out on the way the world really works. Reality,,,, not the fictional little world you appear to dwell in. 🙂


  14. Tom Allen says:

    Guys roll their eyes about Tiger to not offend and appease the woman who they are trying to impress, so she will continue to spread her legs for him.

    The problem here is that the both of you are looking at the situation from extreme ends. Not that there isn’t any truth to either perspective, but that the extremes usually do not account for the majority.

    Celeb-men get laid a lot because they can. Plenty of women are only too happy to agree to a romp simply because they get a chance to associate with fame, power, money, whatever. This, however, is not the case for 90% of men. Men that want to be like Tiger (or Bill Clinton, or Jesse James, etc.) are attracted because it would be a nice change from their daily lives. It’s a fantasy, a day-dream like imagining winning the lottery.

    Do we say things that will appease our women? Sure we do – all the time.
    “No, those pants don’t make your butt look fat.”
    “Sure, I’d love for your sister to stay with us for a few weeks.”
    “No, I don’t mind watching the kids while you go shopping.”
    “Huh? No, I didn’t notice any redhead at the beach.”

    This is part and parcel of making reasonable accommodations for our partners, just like the ones they make for us. I fail to understand why this is even a point of contention.


  15. Discussing this in the context of parenthood is moot; it’s not about parenthood, or even about sex. It’s about bad relationships.

    I agree that issues with feeling under-appreciated by one’s partner on Mother’s Day is not about parenthood. I also agree that if one partner or another takes action of some kind to meet the needs currently unfulfilled by their partner(s), then relationship health is a significant factor.

    However I disagree that calling it “bad relationships” is helpful, because a relationship itself is nothing at all without the contributions of the individual participants.

    I think this problem, of which the Mother’s Day cheating is just one of many examples, is about individuals within relationships demonstrating poor relationship-navigating skills. And unfortunately as you know, this disease is already an incredibly widespread epidemic and has been for some considerable time.

    Rogue Bambi – you have probably noticed by now that for one reason or another, some people are unable to consider and account for Earth logic as we know it. If people like that were already considering all the available facts and evidence, then chances are they would already have expressed views much less limiting and excluding.

    You’ve already noticed that individuals in that category tend to be very quick to dismiss and disregard new information. And you’ve also already noticed that their expressed views tend to be distressing, inflammatory, and as subtle as destroying a whole continent just to swat one fly. And clearly such vast generalisations targeting such huge swathes of populations must by definition be erroneous anyhow because there are just too many exceptions.

    So I suggest that you take a moment to appreciate how fortunate you are to enjoy the options and possibilities and benefits of your own world view, and allow those other people to suffer the limitations of theirs all by themselves.

    Also, you may want to consider that some people adopt nicknames which may be misleading about their gender. Just saying.

    I just wanted you to know that I heard you. 🙂


    • Tom Allen says:

      However I disagree that calling it “bad relationships” is helpful, because a relationship itself is nothing at all without the contributions of the individual participants.

      Dammit, L, how can I take smug satisfaction in my sweeping generalizations and literal shortcuts when you keep clarifying things?


    • “Earth logic” as we knew/know it, by the greatest minds of their time, and conventional thinking by the credulous masses. (A Novel, lol.) 🙂

      The sun revolves around the earth.
      The earth is flat.
      Iraq had WMD because Bush/Hannity says so.
      There is a god in heaven because mommy/Pope/Preacherman says so.
      Man will never fly.
      Its only a tiny oil leak because CEO of BP says so.
      Women will never reach the upper echelons of anything as we are not as smart as men.
      Women and minorities should not be allowed to vote as we are not as smart as white men.
      No one will ever run faster than _ _ _ _ (insert former track star (or lift more etc).
      Polio ( or cancer or AIDS etc) will never be cured.
      Should I go on?
      Earth logic, yea right.

      So because I chose to think for myself I am wrong? Better that I follow the herd and do/act/think what is expected of me based on gender/race etc? As in all women should vote for Hillary. All blacks should vote for Obama and I should do a “You go sister” in agreeance with everything a woman says to prove solidarity? I should take investing advice from Suze Orman and believe everything Oprah and Dworkin say?

      Classy that you should question my gender simply because you dislike what I say. Shoot the messenger and all that. I have been an exotic dancer, nude model, own adult websites/live cam etc for many, many years. I think if I was “tucking a dick” between my legs, someone would have noticed, lol. 🙂


    • Thank you for supporting my viewpoint with such a strikingly pertinent practical demonstration. Good luck with that,


  16. Sweeping generalisations are teh evilzz. (oops look, I just hypocrised, see?)

    But I approve of smug satisfaction in principle, so I’ll do my best to provide other sources of smug satisfaction so you won’t be out of pocket, k?

    Otherwise, you can sue me. 😛

    ps: Happy birthday. 😀


  17. RogueBambi says:

    Lady L: I think this problem, of which the Mother’s Day cheating is just one of many examples, is about individuals within relationships demonstrating poor relationship-navigating skills.

    Exactly. I’m with you on this. And still, I believe that (even) TW would benefit from the same therapy or education than those revengeful wives to get to the negotiating skills mandatory (needed?) for a lasting long term relationship. Or should I say – a happy one.

    So I suggest that you take a moment to appreciate how fortunate you are to enjoy the options and possibilities and benefits of your own world view, and allow those other people to suffer the limitations of theirs all by themselves.

    By Golly, your good. Thanks. I needed that. I do recognize I was a bit offbeat with my commentary. Sometimes I get carried away, especially if I’ve resently been challenged by the same views in my own life – possibly crippling my own existence some. (Described in some lenght in Past the Hurt) But hey, it’s the interwebs! I’m not in class anymore. Am I?

    I was thinking about the sweeping generalisations today, concerning talking about gender issues and sexuality, just like these, after reading the mighty Hugo Schwyzer on the myth of male weakness, especially the comments. It’s pretty hard to thread the line of not just basing everything on IMO and not basing everything on a theorist or another, either. A theory is only ever as good as its interpreter. I am not saying I have the one and only objective eye. But I notice it’s a fallacy I tend to fall under.

    Anyway, smoking me some melon tobacco with my own hookah I’ve come to realize that sometimes a mellow attitude is a best way to share your point. I’m guessing though that most of the women just need to say it aloud. ” I’m gonna cheat if things don’t turn around.” I’ve heard it before. It’s the worst possible revenge fantasy, and I believe that’s just what it is. A pathetic fallacy. If they had the nerve, I’d wager they’d have the nerve to ask what they want or end it, too.

    But it might be that I’m just another Pollyanna who still believes in the “good in people”.

    Ps. I’m still convinced that everything is actually *not* about sex. Not even the talk *about* sex.


    • I agree that most social stuff is related to stuff other than sex, even sex. I think interpersonal relationships are mostly about how each person’ self image limits and colours their perception of the world and the other people in it. I think we’re all limited in that way to some degree, some impressively little, and others spectacularly more so.

      If some people are unable to express their needs to their partners, or if partners are unable to be usefully responsive to those needs and nobody makes any move to change things for the better, then I think cheating is the least of the ingredients in this problem soup.

      Oh well.

      In other news, I’m delighted that reading my comment left you feeling better, that’s fabulous, thank you for telling me. 🙂


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  19. Lady Mae says:

    I have come across stuff Vanessa has to say all over the interwebz. She’s really into the fetish lifestyle, really likes cuckolding. I have seen one thing in common with most of what she writes. She suffers from delusions of grandeur. She thinks her opinion is superior to that of everyone else when it really is not. Opinions are equal in value, and for all of her talk about equality she doesn’t get it. Girls don’t even bother to talk with her because all she knows is what is in her own little reality.


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