It’s okay if you missed the news item in February. I mean, it was from 2008, and all.
From the CBS news website:
The pastor of a southwest Florida church opened many eyes and ears Sunday when he said he wants married couples in the congregation to — have sex for 30 days in a row. […]
He cited a recent study out that found that 20 million Americans who are married have sex fewer than 10 times a year. “People’s jobs, houses, kids and other things get in the way,” he says. “I think men really need to reevaluate their wife’s needs. We so often come home and kick off our shoes and pick up the remote and don’t offer to help with dinner, don’t offer to help with the kids — and then we just expect fireworks in the bedroom. But we need to meet (our wives’ needs) on intimate levels.”
Since we heard about it, Mrs. Edge and I have thought about making an attempt on this at the Edge of Vanilla Labs — purely in the interest of science — but the timing just never seemed to come off for us. We did get partway into this a year or two ago, but for reasons I cant remember (I’m sure it was either work or illness) we had to abandon it about halfway in.
But last month, after convincing ourselves that it would be possible, we actually managed to pull it off, and added our own bit of a twist: After having been locked up for the previous month, Mrs. Edge decided that I should continue to be locked up, and that she would sacrifice (again, in the interest of science), the feel of my real cock, and would, instead make do with the substitute.
Now, you might have thought that this would have become an almost unbearable tease. I mean, it’s one thing to wear a strapon a couple of times a week for sex; you get aroused, and then you get a couple of days to cool off, and then you go at it again. Wearing one every night for a month would seem to give me no chance to cool down, and therefore, I should go into frustration overload, right?
But the interesting thing was this: although the idea sounded hot (and in fact, it was hot at first), after a week I was glad to be wearing a strapon because between work and, umm, more work, I had a hard time relaxing enough to feel teh sexxy every night. This bothered me a bit because I associate the canceling effects of work on libido with old age, and more importantly, with somebody other than me. When the hell did I become old enough to let work bother me?
But here’s something else interesting. Normally, when we play like this, Mrs. Edge gets very randy knowing that I’m caged, and we’ll go at it until she’s sore, which means that her own desire for more sexytime drops significantly for the rest of the week. Knowing this, we tried to keep our lovemaking sessions to ten minutes or so. After a couple of weeks we realized that those ten minutes crept into fifteen or twenty, but we stopped at the “just enough” point so that she didn’t become either sore, or worn out. Stopping just at the point of her being satisfied, though, meant that I didn’t get exceptionally aroused. That is, while I was certainly enjoying myself, I never got to the point where the frustration overshadowed the pleasure.
We did miss a couple of nights here and there, but we decided that in order to hold to the spirit of the challenge, we’d have to make up those times in addition to not missing any more nights. This meant that a few times we had sex in the morning, and then again at night – not a big deal for some of you, but Mrs. Edge had a very early menopause, and for some time now it’s a rare occasion to have it twice in a week, let alone in one day. As it happens, though, we enjoyed ourselves so much that we managed to make up slightly to the good, logging 32 times in 30 days.
The last week, I had a doctor’s appointment that necessitated removing the device. Instead of reinstalling it, we opted to go with both the natural method (which, by this time, had to be very carefully paced on my part) and the little-used extension that we had picked up a couple of years earlier. This brought yet another twist to the challenge in that the extension actually had less feeling for me than the strapon. The harness holds the strapon against my pubic bone, and I can feel some vibration and thrusting. The extension, once I figured out how to use it, left me with almost no feeling at all.By the end of the week, however, I was starting to get the hand of it, and actually began to enjoy the sensations. That last week ended the month, and Mrs. Edge allowed me to come.
A good report would end with some discussion of what we had learned about ourselves during that time, but I really don’t have much to say. As an exercise in frustration, it wasn’t much more difficult than other times we’ve played in the past, and in some respects, it was a bit easier simply because we kept the sessions short, so my libido wasn’t on overdrive when we finished. In fact, as far as that goes, we did discover that both Mrs. Edge and I slept much better for that month. She was always relaxed from the orgasms, and because of the short sessions, I rarely got to the “frustrated blue balls” point; just about every night I fell asleep soon afterward, spooning her tightly.
I’m trying to imagine the pressure this challenge could place on somebody who was not in chastity; for my own part, there were a few nights that I wasn’t in the mood, but having made the commitment, it was good to fall back on the harness. It rarely took long for me to get into the mood once motivated, but it’s the “getting into the mood part” that has been the bigger challenge for both of us lately.
For Mrs. Edge, she has likewise learned that it takes a little work to get into the mood, but once initiated, it’s easy to stay in the mood long enough to enjoy it. In the past, we’ve had problems with the both of us giving up too easily, each of us for reasons of our own. I think that the both of us have learned that it really doesn’t take all that much work in order to get the other one in the mood, but it does take a bit of initiative and commitment. The trick will be whether we can internalize those lessons so we don’t slide back into our old habits.