You’ve already seen this, I’m sure. It’s all over the Gawker feeds (Jezebel, etc.), plus the story has been picked up by several non-major new wires, and some morning radio shows have been talking about it.
This story is so fantastic that I can’t even come up with a lead in to make it funnier. So, here’s the headline:
The article is short, so I’m posting the entire thing. But by all means, click the link to see a picture of this poor, afflicted woman.
BRAZIL, May 11, 2011.- A woman aged 36 was enabled by the justice to masturbate in her workplace because she has a strange disease.
This is the story of Ana Catarina Bezerra Silvares, an employee of an accounting firm, a divorced mother of three who lives in the village Vila Velha, Espírito Santo.
The woman suffers from a rare condition known as “compulsion orgasmic”, caused by a chemical alteration in the brain region of the cortex, which leads her to masturbate several times a day to relieve the deep anguish that it causes.
Under this circumstance, Bezerra started legal proceedings with the company where she works that eventually won and that enables to masturbate for 15 minutes every two hours, besides using the computer to see erotic images that stimulate her desire.
The Brazilian newspaper North Regiao reported that the woman confessed, “There was a day I had to masturbate 47 times”, adding: “I began to suppose that this could not be normal, and decided to seek help.”
Currently, Bezerra follow a treatment that includes a potent cocktail of sedatives that “only” took her to masturbate 18 times.
I’m trying to imagine what it might be like to wank 47 times in one day. I think that even when I was 20, 8 or 10 might have been my limit.
Still unanswered, though: Does she have to excuse herself to the ladies room, or does she take care of herself at her desk?
Okay, did you get a chance to think about this at all?
Now, here’s the punch line: It appears to be a hoax.
Yup, sorry to say, news hounds have managed to track this down to some pranksters in Brazil.
But it was fun to imagine it for a while, wasn’t it?