Yeah, I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated.
[Insert typical blogger excuse about buying too busy here.]
As it happens, Mrs. Edge and I have been taking a chastity break for the summer. A few minor injuries have kept me from hitting the weights for a while, but I’ve gotten a little more seriously into bicycling. I spent much of my summer modernizing an old aluminum frame touring bike, so between that and my old hybrid mongrel I’ve been racking up the miles. I’m pretty sure that the combination of the cycling plus some low carb eating has finally allowed me to break through that weight loss plateau where I’d been stuck for the last year. I’m now well into the next smaller waist size, and all of my suits and dress pants will quite literally fall off of me if I don’t cinch up my belt – which looks stupid, so now I need some new clothes. Even my shirts are too roomy, and I’m fitting into sport jackets that I haven’t worn in years. And jeans? I can wear a size 34 without creating a muffin top. I’m still too embarrassed to get some of those tight spandex biking shorts, but I have been wearing those snug tank tops when I go out. I’ve been remiss at supplying HNT pics, so here’s one that I just ook today.
A side note: my friends are very obviously envious, but not enough to actually do anything about it.
Anyway, the point that I was going to make was that even though over the years I’ve declared that you can cycle with a device, I’ve discovered that there are some limits. My mongrel bike has a split saddle which can accommodate the CB3000, but the road bike requires a more aggressive, hunched-over posture, and I have not found a comfortable saddle. The split ones tend to put you in a more upright position, but nothing is going to make that hard cuff ring comfortable on a road saddle. And since I’ve already spent enough money on replacement parts, I’ll have to wait until next year before I look at other saddle options. So, until bike season is done, my equipment is swinging free.
Let’s see, what else has kept me busy this summer? We’ve had a few family trips, most of them in places with no internet. I managed to survive with limited 3G access, and a Nook Color (birthday present). I’ve built up a couple of computers with Linux Mint, and I’m now experimenting with making a bootable SD card to turn my Nook into an Android pad. Went to a comic/anime convention — in costume. And yes, it was a kick-ass costume, and I got quite a few comments, and won a few rounds of a cosplay deathmatch. My daughter’s friends are now in awe of me as being the coolest dad ever. Oh, and I’ve been doing a lot of reading.
No, not ebooks. I’ve been reading blogs and forums, some of the older ones, and some newer ones, and I’m pleased to see that the discussions about the open-mindedness of the BDSM crowd, the nature of femdom, and the devaluation of “submissiveness” are still going on. In fact, I’ve been quite surprised – pleasantly – at the range of ideas that I’ve seen over the last few months. I think that this is important; BDSM is — in some ways — in a similar position to that of homosexuality 30 or 40 years ago. People acknowledged it existed, but it was something not really discussed in polite company, unless to make some kind of joke or disparaging comment. This is why I find it so ironic (and frankly, not a little disturbing) that within the kink community, “submissive” is perceived as a feminine trait.
As I’ve been watching the web boards and reading the stories of self-identified submissive men who have felt belittled or who have been dissed by their local kink community, I was reminded of something from when I was younger, back when I knew that I was kinky, but before I had learned much about it.
I was about 20, was with my girlfriend and a group of other friends from college (we were probably a little buzzed, as was the custom at the time) and wanted to see a funny movie. We ended up at Revenge of the Pink Panther; this was in the days when if you wanted to see a movie, then you actually had to go to them. I don’t remember all that much about the movie itself, until we got to the last few minutes of the film.
Tanya, the Lotus Eater
(Sorry, WordPress isn’t allowing me to embed this video. )
For those who can’t watch this, here’s the setup: Inspector Clouseau has been away for some time, and Kato has turned his apartment into a brothel. Clouseau shows up wearing the remnants of some kind of disguise, and the Madame, not knowing that he owns the apartment, welcomes him in. She explains that he can take some time to get to know the girls, and to let her know if he has any particular requests. She removes his overcoat, and sees that he’s wearing a woman’s dress.
“Ah, but I see that you already have a preference,” she says. She rings a gong, and says “Allow me to introduce Tanya, the Lotus Eater.” Tanya, played by bit-part actress Valerie Leon, enters in a low-cut, leather catsuit. Hilarity ensues.
That’s what I remember about the movie. What I also remember is wondering why transvestism was coupled with S&M; to me, they were completely separate kinks. And after that, I began to notice how often S&M – specifically, the submissive male part – was linked to feminine traits. That was 30 years ago, and frankly, I haven’t seen things improve much over the years. So, when we’re all wondering why the BDSM “community” has this weird concept about submissive guys, I suspect that it’s because for an entire generation we’ve never seen anyone acting any differently.