Again Ashley

Well, another Valentine’s Day has come and gone (unlike many of my regular readers), so it’s time to see how Ashley Madison is doing. No, not Ashley Graham; Ashley Madison is the now-infamous “dating” site for married people looking to expand their range. Or, as their new advertising motto goes, “Life is short. Have an affair.”

Yes, if you’re looking to hook up with a MILF (or if you are a MILF), then a few minutes registering at AM could put you in touch with hundreds of potential partners.

The reason I mention this now is because a few years ago we learned that Valentine’s Day (actually, the day after) is when AM gets the largest number of new signups from women. The second busiest day, by the way, is the day after Mother’s Day. Partners, especially women, feel underappreciated by a poor showing at those holidays, which spikes their curiosity, or sometimes, simply confirms their ideas that they need somebody new and exciting in their lives.  While men tend to sign up in fairly steadily, holidays tend to see a spike in women’s numbers.

I haven’t run across any numbers for AM signups this year, but since Valentine’s Day was only yesterday, they may not have added it up yet. One think that is adding up, however, is the dollars.  AM charges $49 for 100 messaging tokens. Recent articles suggest that the business may be generating as much as $60 million dollars per year.

Why pick AM when there are so many other options for personal ads? Probably because Craigslist doesn’t have a screening process, and most people don’t want the hassle of buying a secret, non-traceable cell phone; not to mention the fear of giving out personal information to random internet strangers.

I don’t have anything else to add to this post, so I’m going to leave a picture of Ashely Graham, from a 2010 photo shoot for Madison Plus. No, not that Madison — a plus-sized clothing and style magazine.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Cheating, Culture, Sexuality & Relationships. Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to Again Ashley

  1. TemptingSweets99 says:

    Very interesting AM stats. I’m in the wrong business. No wonder I’m broke. Nice pic of Ashley, the model.

  2. DD says:

    Disappointed expectation is real ****er.

    So is the problem the high expectations of some women, or the dismal performance of their men?

    • Tom Allen says:

      The problem isn’t quite so simple. My own theory is that some relationships are already not doing well because of unmet or poorly communicated expectations on both sides. However, it seems that women attach more importance to those expectations around holidays. If a woman is already inclined to think that she deserves more (fsv of more) and is disappointed, then she may be more inclined to act on that by signing up.

      Note that the high rate of signups don’t necessarily mean more actual hookups. It could just be that these women are acting out, playing a fantasy, and after poking around for a month or so, simply stop looking.

  3. I heard a podcast interview with the CEO of Ashley Madison a while back. The interview was shortly after that billboard went up, and it’s pretty interesting to hear his take on the advert, and his business as a whole.

    A total aside:
    More pics of plus size women in flower lace body stockings please! My single favorite garment.

  4. Peroxide says:

    I was aware of the existence of Ashley Madison (though not of Ashley Graham, thank you for that.)

    What bothers me most about this (beside the institutionalized infidelity) Is that anyone would put their marriage at risk because they got a box from Russel Stover instead of Tiffany’s.
    Why would you rather shell out fifty bucks for AM’s “become a cheating asshole package” than say “Honey we need to talk?”

    • DD says:

      Awwwa, Peroxide, aren’t you cute?!

      What about the gal who got absolutely nothing and a lecture about how lucky she is that he even bothered to come home, can you imagine how $50 seems a reasonable price to find out what else is available?
      That V-Day scene actually happened to a friend of mine, and she is very happily single now.

      I’m not suggesting, condoning, or considering, but I don’t think annoyance with cheap chocolates probably captures accurately the motivations women are acting on when they check out AM.

      “Honey, we need to talk,” assumes there will be listening and attempts to improve the situation. If you have no confidence in those two things, you might not bother.

      • Tom Allen says:

        Awwwa, Peroxide, aren’t you cute?!

        Come on, cut the poor kid some slack, DD. Don’t crush his dreams and ideals under those thigh-high leather boots just yet.

        • DD says:

          No crushing intended, not even under my fluffy leopard print slippers. It find his youthful idealism all inspiring and heart-warming in all actuality.

          It’s so romantical and speaks rather well of him, I think.

    • Tom Allen says:

      Peroxide, let me also add that cheating at 45 is not the same as cheating at 25. When you’re old – like DD, for example – you’ve got a big investment in time and energy with someone. Cars, house, family, friends, shared experiences, and oh yeah, children aren’t things that most people would give up lightly. Often people feel unappreciated and are unable to communicate what they want, or (as DD mentions) don’t have much hope of getting it even if they did communicate.

      In those cases, an affair isn’t a precursor to bailing out. Rather, it’s a way to get a little “me time” that you feel is owed to you. You don’t want to scrap the entire relationship, and there might be many things that you actually like or love about your partner. An affair is simply a means to get a little something that you believe to be missing without causing much of disturbance elsewhere in the relationship.

      • DD says:

        It’s true, men of a certain age frequency ignore the niceties that help preserve and maintain discourse between a man and a woman. Whether this failing is due to early on-set senility, who can say?

        Nevertheless, women can be quite forgiving, and small gestures, such as Valentine’s Day gifts, can sometimes go a long way toward keeping the peace and establishing good will.

  5. Peroxide says:

    I realize that signing up for AM, may not lead to an actual affair, but the action itself could put the relationship in jeopardy.

    I’m certain that married life is more complicated that my idealistic twenty something brain can comprehend, but if the marriage is important enough that you don’t want to end it, then an affair is inexcusable.

    Not that I condone letting things get to the point where your partner feels the need to get outside attention either

    • Tom Allen says:

      Maybe I’m just a jaded old guy, or maybe I read too much Salinger or John Updike, or maybe I’m just more pragmatic now, but a lot of married people *do* manage to hold competing ideas in their heads.

      Did I ever mention my friend Bob to you? That one didn’t end well, but I do have some friends for whom it somehow works.

      • Peroxide says:


        And you’re telling DD not to crush my dreams and Ideals, that’s the most depressing thing I’ve read all week.

        • Tom Allen says:

          I know a few other Bobs (and their female counterparts). They have little interludes, little flings, very discreetly. It gives them a little ego boost, and it recharges them so that they can more easily cope with the few things on which their partners won’t even discuss, let alone consider.

  6. Peroxide says:

    Are their partners aware? Making this consensual non-monogamy, or are they cheating, and rationalizing it, by saying it’s making their marriage function more smoothly? (Which I maintain is a dickbag thing to do)
    Regardless, it’s not something that I would be OK with in my own marriage.

    • Tom Allen says:

      As far as I know, the partners are either unaware, or are turning a blind eye. I can think of a couple that can’t *possibly* not know, but maybe that’s how they make things work over the long haul.

      Not saying it’s preferable, mind you. I’m just saying that sometimes people patch things together with duct tape and wire because the alternative is to let them fall apart.

  7. Hedone says:

    I need that outfit!


  8. Hedone says:

    Oooh lovely!

    Can I have her AND the outfit 🙂

    You should probably come along too.

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