HNT – Early Bike Season

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. No HNTs from me in ages.

Sorry, sorry. Been busy and all that. But because so many of you have been clamoring (well, okay, a few of you asked nicely) I’ll try to get back into it.

We’ve had unseasonably nice weather up in New England, so this weekend I pulled the road bike out of the back corner of the garage, pumped up the tires, and went for a 15 mile spin – first I’ve been on it since November. About 4 or 5 miles in, I realized that over the winter, the frost heaves made the hills steeper. Oh, and somebody must have moved the saddle position, because my butt is freakin’ sore, as are my legs and back and arms…

Anyway, I don’t normally bike in jeans, but I don’t have any long, stretchy pants, and I was worried that I would be a little chilly. Turns out that after a couple of miles, I was already overheated. So, here’s me in my tight, stretchy lycra shirt, and some old, baggy jeans.


I managed not to put on too much muffin top over the winter, no thanks to my wife and daughter who keep baking up a storm every week.  Why do women do that?

I’m waiting for the weather to warm up just a little bit more so I can squeeze into those tight spandex bike shorts.  Those things are like Spanx  for men, but they do round out my butt pretty nicely.

So, for all of you who have been dying to see pictures of a 50+ year old, gray-haired guy, well, here’s your fix.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Appearance, HNT and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to HNT – Early Bike Season

  1. Ferns says:

    Pfffttt… You TRICKED ME!!!

    HNT *must* have naked flesh… Hands do not count (nice hands, though!).

    Are those the keys to the BMW? Gimme…


  2. Jz says:

    Damned frost-heaves!
    We have those pernicious things here, too. I’ve decided that all the cracks allow gravity to pull through more…

    I hafta say I know what Ferns means, but I find if I squint and think hard, “he’s naked beneath his clothes”, that helps a bit.
    A very tiny bit.
    OK, it may be wishful thinking…

  3. Tom Allen says:

    I’ve already had to explain to Ms. Ferns that there’s no car, but it’s a really nice vintage bike, and that it’s a really tight shirt, and I’m really naked under my clothes. Fo rizzle!

  4. Hedone says:

    Not to rub it in but I’ve been riding since January and pretty regularly in February because we had a very mild winter (shhh! I hope Old Man Winter isn’t listening).

    I’m looking forward to seeing your rounded out bum in tight lycra spandex.


    P.S. Come here and let me massage your sore….anything.

    • Tom Allen says:

      Yeah, you’re a little further south. Folks down there have told me that the weather has been mild all year. I was happy to be able to keep biking until November, but in January, I actually put some old knobby tires on my mountain bike and took it out in the snow!

  5. DD says:

    OK, next I believe I requested a leather harness…
    just, ya know,
    as a helpful reminder.

  6. Lily says:

    Rowrr, Daddy! 😉

    This makes me want to take my bike out. This winter has been outrageously nice — such a big change from the last winter, where those of us in New England started to run out of places to put the snow.

    Mostly I’ve been sticking to my Vespa, though. Which here in Boston did not actually go away in the garage all year; with a few exceptions I rode through the winter. I think I’m living in a narrow band of time when Boston becomes temperate year round but before it’s underwater…

  7. Ranai says:

    There once was a man on a bike
    who came out of HNT strike.
    He presents his reflection
    for closer inspection
    just the way we enthusiasts like.

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