Dangerous Liaisons

So, your husband is cheating on you.

Low-down, dirty scum, right?

Then the lying, dirty bastard has a heart attack.

But wait; he had a heart attack doing something exceptionally strenuous: He was having a three-way.

Good riddance, right?

Hold on, though. Can’t we make this even better?

Sure we can: Let’s sue his doctor for not warning him that doing something strenuous could cause a heart attack.

Wait, that couldn’t possibly work. Could it?

Apparently, it can.

From the Gwinnett (GA) Daily Post

The family of a Lawrenceville man who died while engaged in a threesome has been awarded $3 million in a medical malpractice lawsuit.

According to information released by Atlanta law firm Edmond and Lindsay, the 31-year-old father of two visited a Gwinnett cardiologist in March 2009 complaining of “increasing episodes of new chest pain that radiated into his arm.” The cardiologist, Dr. Sreenivasulu Gangasani of CardioVascular Group, determined that the man was at “high risk” of having clogged heart arteries and ordered a nuclear stress test to be done eight days later, the firm said.

One day before the scheduled test, the man, William Martinez, was “engaged in a threesome where both he and a friend had sex with a woman, who was not his wife.”

However, the family’s attorneys argued that the husband should have been tested immediately, and sued for malpractice.

During the trial, the defense asserted that Martinez should have at least been told to avoid physical exertion. Attorney Gary Lovell, who represents Gangasani and CardioVascular Group, said the defense contended that Martinez was in fact “instructed to avoid exertional activity until after the nuclear stress test was completed.”

Now, I certainly feel for the family, and there’s no reason that they should have any more emotional distress. I’m even going to avoid making the obvious jokes.

But, seriously?

I don’t want to cause my own readers any distress, so in the interest of helping them to chill out, I’m providing some soothing eye candy.

This woman is not in any danger of having a heart attack, although it’s possible that she could be the cause of heart attacks, or at least, sprains and broken bones in less healthy partners.

More like her on Tumblr, of course.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
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7 Responses to Dangerous Liaisons

  1. Gillian Colbert says:

    I’m laughing yet I can’t figure out if its disgust at our litigious, no-personal responsibility taking society or the sheer ludicrousness of the story or both. Wow!


  2. Ferns says:

    The lawsuit mentality is so fucking scary. As a non-American, I am constantly amazed that you folks ever have any interaction with anyone EVER for fear of getting sued.

    “She smiled at me, then I tripped and fell into the street and got hit by a car… *SHE SMILED AT ME AND I NEARLY DIED!!!!…” That must be worth millions.

    *massive painful and huge eye roll*

    FFS!! What is wrong with people?

    Also, did you follow me into the gym? I didn’t even *see* you take that photo!



  3. Tom Allen says:

    As an American, I am constantly amazed that we haven’t packed up the lawyers and shipped them to China.

    Also, did you follow me into the gym? I didn’t even *see* you take that photo!

    Umm… haven’t you said that you’re blonde?


  4. slave_nemo says:

    I don’t know about anyone else, but your “eye candy” scares me. Don’t worry, I won’t sue if I have a heart attack while fantasizing about her. 😉


    • Tom Allen says:

      For some reason, I’ve had actual *complaints* from guys who don’t like some of the pictures on my Tumblr. Some guys don’t like the muscular women. Some guys don’t like the overly curvy women. Some guys have complained that I don’t do enough chastity-related stuff. Some think I should write more captions.

      :eye roll:

      I have an appreciation for the hard work that goes into body building. It’s a lot of watching one’s diet very carefully, and a lot (a *real* lot) of time (and sore muscles) trying to build up. Women have it even worse, because they don’t have the levels of testosterone that men do, so it takes longer for them to look as ripped.


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