Yeah, some of used to do the “no orgasm” thing before it went mainstream. But apparently it’s a slow news day at ABC News:
Matt Cook hasn’t had an orgasm in seven months, and he hopes never to intentionally have one again.
The 51-year-old publisher from Virginia isn’t celibate. Happily married for 25 years, Cook said his sex life is more exciting than ever and giving up the goal-oriented climax has improved every aspect of his life.
Cook, the father of adult two sons, is a newcomer to karezza, a form of intercourse that emphasizes affection while staying far from the edge of orgasm. Climax is not the goal and ideally does not occur while making love.
“It creates a deep feeling in a relationship that is very difficult to describe — much deeper than conventional sex,” he said.
Cook is one of a growing number of men who have embraced karezza and have found it has helped heal their marriages, inject more spark into their sex lives and even shed porn addiction.
The article goes on to describe karezza — a sexuality practice originally promoted by Dr. Alice Bunker Stockham (in the late 1800s, no less!) — as a way to enhance the intimacy between partners by removing the goal-oriented male orgasm, replacing it with the pleasures of physical touch, snuggling, and caressing. And while Dr. Stockham originally suggested that both and and women should forego orgasm, modern practitioners focus on the abstinence for only men. The idea behind this is that men suffer from severely reduced desire for intimacy after orgasm, in a way that women do not. I don’t pretend to know anything about the biochemistry behind this, so if this kind of thing interests you further, you’re on your own.
What I did find interesting, however, was not the article, but the responses to it in the comment section. At this writing there were 40 comments, most of which were not only negative, but some were actually derogatory. A sampling:
– Must be something physically dysfunctional going on OR perhaps the partner is not attracted, turned-on by the other – therefore let’s “do Karezza” and save face?
– That is one of the stupidest ideas I have heard to date. Maybe fine for guys with ED that can’t get an erection anyway or for those that are Asexual. The rest of us are wanting the Big O as often as possible as a part of our normal sexual experiences.
– Men are so easily manipulated its pathetic. Anything to explain their lackluster performance in the sack. No wonder women flock to movies like Magic Mike with these type of men around who don’t take the time better themselves in the sack.
– This is like ordering a bacon cheeseburger at a restaurant, then taking the bacon, cheese and meat off and eating the bun. No thanks.
– I think the only men interested in this are those who cant bring thier partner to orgasm. The only women interested are those who dont/cant orgasm. This is ridiculous.
Wow. Haters gonna hate, I guess.
Mrs. Edge and I practice, well, not a strict form of this, but something similar. It has evolved or changed from when we first started, but we try to communicate periodically about what is and is not working for us. We both enjoy it, and while I’ve suggested it to online friends in the past, I have no fantasies that this kind of thing would appeal to everybody.
For me, it’s sad to see how negative many of the commenters were about something with which they had little knowledge, and which they certainly were not being compelled to do. I’ve noticed a similar trend in many news articles that mention
kinky sex non-traditional sexuality: if it’s not good old-fashioned vanilla, then the participants are just strange, if not outright sick and perverted.
I used to be the type of person who would try to post an educational comment on those articles, but lately I just don’t seem to have the energy. I think that I’m just frustrated with the attitude that anything that is not standard is automatically considered to be bad in some way. Is it just me, or is anyone else no longer motivated to educate the masses?
I’m going to a comic & anime convention this weekend, and there will be quite a bit of cosplay (including yours truly). So to help get into the mood, here’s fetish model Bianca Beauchamp as a latex-clad Lara Croft from Tomb Raider.
There’s more Bianca on Tumblr, of course.