… because I’ve spent the last year in ruins.
I haven’t been writing much about our personal lives this past year, simply because there hasn’t been that much to report. We’ve been taking a break from chastity play, in part because after ten years or so we just needed some new perspectives. But I thought that some of you — those of you who were getting tired of my diet, exercise, bicycling, and other fitness related posts — might appreciate an update on our ruined orgasm play.
It’s been just over a year now since Mrs. Edge started ruining things for me, and despite people saying that this gets easier over time, I am not finding that at all. Each time I look forward to her slow, measured stroking, to my slow buildup, and to the inevitable crescendo… and each time she squeezes me at the last second, stifling my ultimate pleasure, and my hand beats down on the bed in frustration, and I swear incoherently until the spasms stop. And each time she smiles at me, and I wonder why the hell I ever wanted to try this.
I should point out that Mrs. Edge has always been fascinated by the idea of controlling my orgasms. When we have played at long-term chastity, she used to try to induce them; I would have a quasi-ruined orgasm while locked up, which would give her all the more reason to keep me locked up longer. Or sometimes I’d be unlocked, but I would have to wear a penis sleeve in order not to have any (or minimal) physical pleasure; but would occasionally find that simply the motion would give me a minimized orgasm; again, she would find this evilly amusing.
We started this last December when she tried it on a whim one evening; I had suggested it to her some time before, so it was a complete surprise to me, and as a result was incredibly frustrating. But weirdly, the next morning I was very aroused, and woke her for some morning sex before leaving for work. I didn’t come (I seem to remember her asking me if I wanted to, and then suggesting that I shouldn’t), and so spent the rest of the day aroused and thinking about what she had done. Soon, I was asking her to try it again, just to, you know, “practice.” Within weeks we were “practicing” pretty much each time we had sex. We were both intrigued; her by trying to find just the perfect moment – too soon and it was only just edging, too late and I would be satisfied. At first she thought that any semen leakage meant that she did it wrong, but eventually I explained about male plumbing, and she soon was able to pinpoint just the right moment to make me both frustrated and aroused at the same time.
On my end, I constantly looked forward to it, each time hoping that I’d actually get the full pleasure, and each time my brain ended up telling my libido “What part of ‘ruined‘ don’t you understand here?”
Eventually this became our routine; we would have some pleasant intercourse, and when she was satisfied, I’d lay on my back and she would stroke me. It was intimate because she would lay on her side, and I could feel her against me. And sometimes she would simply just offer to practice, no strings. I never turned it down, even though at the end I’d be upset for a few moments. And the next day, or often, later on that same day, I’d be dying for another chance.
And that’s how it happened that the other day as she was stroking me, we realized that she had only allowed me to have three, maybe four full-on orgasms since we started this: once or twice during intercourse, and once, maybe twice from her stroking.
And then we realized that the last one was at the end of July, when we were on vacation.
And then we’d realized that we had been at this for an entire year.
I’m not sure what to say about all of this. I mean, I apparently haven’t learned much because I still look forward to them; in fact, if anything I want them more often, almost as if by volume alone I can sate my lust. Almost. But yet, I’ve noticed that lately it’s become much more difficult for me to hold back from orgasm during sex; apparently my body has been trying to tell me something, but I haven’t been listening.
We’re continuing to experiment, though. I’ll let you know how things are coming along.
And speaking of ruined orgasms, here’s an interesting video capture.