How to have sex like Mary Poppins

A little poking around Reddit this past weekend led me to a rather interesting post:

Explain how to have sex like you are Mary Poppins.

I have no idea what would have prompted the question, but one of the respondents wins the internet for the week with his answer:

 

In every girl who’s pure–you think–
There is an element of kink
Just lift her skirt and SMACK!
There’s joy in pain.

(music begins)

And now that you have had a peek
At her quiet, inner freak
The cuffs! The leash! It’s very clear to see, that a…

(chorus)
A little domination helps a good girl go down
A good girl go down
A good girl go down
Just a little domination helps a good girl go down
In a most delightful way

And when the gender roles reverse
This isn’t anything to curse
Each person has unique quirks and whims
Some men embark on a pursuit
Of a gal in leather boots
He knows her whip will get his heart to skip…

(chorus)
For a good dominatrix helps a submissive go down
A submissive go down
A submissive go down
A good dominatrix helps a submissive go down
In a most delightful way

But let’s be careful not to limit
Our ideas of “appropriate”
To only those preferences we share
For oral sex is really great
Not only for those who are straight

But gays (but gays)
And bi’s (and bi’s)
We all have needs to satisfy!

Aaaaah-ah-ah-ah-aaaaah-ah-ah… “Cheeky.”

(chorus)
Everybody loves it when their companion goes down
Their companion goes down
Their companion goes down
Everybody loves it when their companion goes down
In a most delightful way!


And when you think about Mary Poppins, you can’t help but think of Dick Van Dyke, which makes you think about Rob & Laura Petri (Mary Tyler Moore), which makes you remember that there’s an old Annie Leibowicz shot with the happy couple dressed up in fetish gear…

tumblr_mtbz47WCBU1r5wsk0o1_400

… in the most delightful way.

ETA: For the benefit of those looking for some back story.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in Fetish & Kink, Humor, Sexuality & Relationships and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to How to have sex like Mary Poppins

  1. Ha, that’s brilliant!

  2. Lol–that’s great! Of course, some of us…like Mrs. Edge and me…might have a different view of how it’s done🙂

  3. This is perfect. How cool!

  4. Interesting! I never knew that picture existed.

  5. fusion77 says:

    That is awesome, I’ll never hear that song the same way again. Thanks for the smile Tom.

  6. Pingback: Abject failure | Femdom News

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