Why Men Send Pics of Their Junk | Psychology Today

Not that this is a problem for me (I neither get nor send, and please don’t take that as an invitation to send me yours), but I’ve often noticed this situation ever since I had my first modem and joined chat groups. Not the majority, but a lot of men seem to have no second thoughts about sending unsolicited pictures of their junk to women.

I was raised to think that such advances would be considered “rude,” but apparently that’s not enough to hold many guys back.

From an article in Psychology Today:

Why Men Send Pics of Their Junk | Psychology Today

“Men are GROSS” is the most common explanation that women have for this. Others might add “They’re GROSS and STUPID. Do they really think I’m going to magically want to have sex with them now, after seeing their penis?”

You’d think that the discussion would end here, but the author continues:

Both males and females are commonly sending nudes of themselves to people they meet online, but women tend to wait until asked. That distinction may simply be an expression of gender differences in mating and dating strategies. The fact is, women are told that being sexually bold in such a manner is shameful and makes them a slut.

Yeah, yeah. Let’s get to the “why”.

Men love the idea of receiving such pictures from strangers, and they assume women do too.

It’s probable that some of this connects to the fact that in an anonymous environment, people, and especially men, are likely to engage in more sexualized behaviors.

Male mating strategies have always included an element of “boldness,” where men who are bold and brash sometimes garner female attention they wouldn’t otherwise receive if they were nice and polite.

Here’s the one bit that cracked me up:

Men fear sexual rejection, and by sending pics of their genitalia, they are almost getting “pre-approval.” This way, they get the chance of rejection out of the way early, so they don’t have to worry about being rejected or shamed once they drop their pants on a real date.

I’d venture that you could take this a step further: some men figure that if they get rejected right away, they can move on to more sporting prospects.

Anyway, the topic is amusing, so go read the rest of it. Just don’t expect me to send you nudes, even if you ask.

As for me, I can only imagine the reaction of Mrs Edge if I were to send out some unsolicited (or even solicited) pictures of my equipment.


About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
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17 Responses to Why Men Send Pics of Their Junk | Psychology Today

  1. Her Subject says:

    Psychology fascinates me. I study it with great interest. However, there is a lot of nothing other than wild guesses in most publications. Even teachings at Harvard, are often nothing but wild conjectures. What’s true and real, with reproducible, repeatable, and predictable outcomes, are often dismissed by most people as untrue or unrealistic, even as it happens right in front of most people’s eyes.
    Psychology can be sound science, but it’s the most corrupted one at the moment.
    I’d file this article under wild random claims. Actually, it’s worse than that. It’s an article of nothingness. Everything claim is “probably,” “probable,” and “most likely” with no study or research behind. Pure nothingness. Brilliant guy to make a living from this.


    • Tom Allen says:

      ” Actually, it’s worse than that. It’s an article of nothingness. Everything claim is “probably,” “probable,” and “most likely” with no study or research behind.

      I have to admit to being disappointed whenever I see headlines like that, but then discover that the article is just opinion, or worse, some anecdote with barely a hint of relevance. But many times the headlines are written by editors who have to punch things up a bit for readership.


  2. Although I have not received unsolicited pics (again, not an invitation or even any hint of desire to get them), I know that it really common. From most of the women whoI have talked to, it wouldn’t be a case of rejection later, but instead an up front rejection because they are too presumptuous. This possible explanation is interesting–don’t know how valid, but definitely interesting.

    And I love the picture and comment at the end. Mrs. Edge and I have very similar ideas 🙂


    • Tom Allen says:

      I’ve been the recipient of unsolicited pics over the years, as guys have asked me my opinion on fitting their genitals to various chastity devices. For a straight guy, I’ve seen more than my share of up close & personal dick pics. Boobs? Not so much, more’s the pity.

      But I actually do think that some of the men who do this are acting on a trolling approach – hoping that the one in a thousand woman might respond.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Caged Lion says:

    ” The fact is, women are told that being sexually bold in such a manner is shameful and makes them a slut”

    Clearly, “Psychology Today” has no copy editors. Shouldn’t it be, “makes them sluts”? Just sayin’.


  4. Mrs Fever says:

    Men are in love with their penises. It’s their first – and favorite – toy, and they get to take it with them everywhere they go and play with it EVERYWHERE. At the park, in school, while standing in line at Burger King (I’ve seen it – it grosses me out and I want to scream, “GET YOUR HANDS OUT OF YOUR PANTS!”), or any other place they happen to be where they can Al Bundy themselves or jack it off. In the kitchen, at the ball game (no, that’s not a euphemism), and – of course! – while perusing the interwebs for HOT XXX PUSSY ACTION.

    So *obviously* they think that every female would want to see/meet their best friend/favorite toy before (1) saying hello, (2) asking her anything at all about herself, or (3) inviting her out for sushi/Shakespeare/walks on the beach.


    This is, of course, a broad (and accurate) generalization, and there *are* some people who dig on photos of random disembodied genitalia.

    I am not one of them.

    I could do without EVER seeing a man’s junk in 2D, and I suspect there are quite a few females who feel the same.

    Do I allow (very specific) men to share their pics? Yes, and for (very specific) reasons. Do I look at photos men post? Occasionally, if I’m (specifically) interested in him as a person. But if I’m *choosing* to view, that’s a whole different set of parameters.

    Uninvited, unsolicted cock shots just piss me the fuck off. But maybe that’s the controlly (controlly is *totally* a word; I know because I made it up) part of me. I want his penis in his pants unless/until *I* say otherwise. Which means that, to be with me, he has to give me his favorite toy, to do (or not do) with as I please.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tom Allen says:

      First off, as a guy, I can tell you that sometimes we’re adjusting things simply because all that loose wobbly stuff gets caught up wrong in underwear, pants seams, shorts, or whatever. A partial boner will feel uncomfortable, so we readjust on the fly. It’s not to gross you out, really, it’s because we don’t have slings to hold our stuff in place like you girls have for your boobs.

      But I’ll concede that guys become very cock-centric; probably because all those nerves and sensitive parts are exposed all the time. It’s hard not to think about it. That’s no excuse for not having good manners, though.


      • Mrs Fever says:

        On the fly.

        I see what you did there. 😛

        No, I get it. But readjusting and prolonged fondling are not the same thing. I literally saw a guy stick his hands down the front of his sweats and start pulling his pork while waiting in line to order a burger (at Dick’s, no less). I immediately lost my craving for a milkshake, and my spouse was like, “I have a beef with that guy.” The thing is, the guy (who was most definitely an adult – this was not a 4-yr-old who couldn’t resist playing with his pee-pee) was essentially masturbating in public (though without exposing himself, thank fuck – talk about an unsolicited cock shot), and I’ve seen it often enough that its ‘normalcy’ is apparent. *shudder*

        And, re: boob slings ~ I *hate* bras. I rarely wear them anymore, and when I do, I’m constantly “readjusting” – UGH. So uncomfortable! I vote kilts and loose tunics for everyone! To hell with undergarments.


        • Tom Allen says:

          I see what you did there. >”


          I can’t believe that you saw a guy actually fondling himself like that. Or rather, I don’t want to believe that’s what you saw. Despite my wild and crazy internet persona (shush!) I actually have some, oh, I dunno, dignity and respectability, and I’d like to believe that I’m not exceptional that way. Ugh.

          ” I vote kilts and loose tunics for everyone! To hell with undergarments.”

          I’d totally rock a kilt, and I’m this close to getting one, but Mrs Edge said that she wouldn’t go out in public with me if I wore it.

          Liked by 1 person

  5. Bet Lamed says:

    Brain Teaser: Is the picture of a penis in a CB-2000 a nude cock pic or not? (Is a person who wears nothing but a cb clothed or naked?)

    As a sidenote, don’t you think it is alarming and repulsive that, in the english language, even respectable magazines casually refer to male genitalia as “junk”? I mean, yeah I get it, ther is “pussy” and “cooch” etc., but those are generally considered vulgar and not fitting for serious writing.


    • Tom Allen says:

      That’s a CB3000 in the picture, with Domina Karin. Overall, a pretty hot scene.

      Now, is a chastity device shot a nude pic? Well… not technically, but it’s in the same neighborhood. The device in the picture, above, is transparent, and many metal devices are actual cages, so not very much is being covered.


  6. areluctantbitch says:

    gg came up with a great line for this: “Even the most beautiful penis needs context”

    Part of the issue (for me, at least) is that unsolicited cock shots never include any other feature. It’s just Nothin’ But The ‘Nads – upclose and personal. Which, really, is a tactical error. Because even if we like the look of your cock, it generally gets stuffed into parts where we cannot see it anyhow — what we see is your face. And if the face belongs to a presumptuous, undiscerning idiot, we’re not going to enjoy the view.

    Of course, the bigger part of the issue is that these pix are simply offensive and what makes any man think a woman is going to be interested in someone who doesn’t care if they offend us?

    I usually respond with a critique of the subject in view. Doesn’t change the “this isn’t going to work” outcome, but it makes me feel better. 🙂


    • Tom Allen says:

      Years ago I was talking to a woman on another forum, and she complained (mockingly, I might add) about a guy who sent her up-close cock shots. When she asked for more identifiable pictures, he was aghast, and told her that “Obviously, there’s no way I’d be able to send you a picture of my face.”

      “I usually respond with a critique of the subject in view. Doesn’t change the “this isn’t going to work” outcome, but it makes me feel better. :-)”

      Love it.


  7. Kitty says:

    I’ve had this happen to me too many times. When I was 12 or so I think most of my sister’s friends (who would’ve been 15) sent me a picture of their dick at some stage, out of the blue, and without so much as a conversation beforehand. Usually on MSN or by text.
    So I’ve asked a few guys why they do it. The answer is nearly always “because I thought you’d like it”. Some even thought I’d reciprocate!

    These days I don’t get cock pictures very often, but they’ve been replaced by people asking for naked pictures (why oh why would I do that if I don’t know you???) or they want to steer conversation towards what can only be described as wanking material.

    It doesn’t bother me as much as it should, but I’ll automatically mentally label anyone who does these things as an extremely insecure person.


    • Tom Allen says:

      “because I thought you’d like it”.

      I think that this is the point the author of the article is trying to make. Guys would *love* to get pics of women’s bits, so if they send out their own pits, then it should be quid pro quo, right? Like, where’s the problem?

      You know what strikes me as funny? Now that the internet has made it so easy to acquire naked pics of people, getting naked pics of people you know seems to be the next step.


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