Some of you know that I manage a few blog aggregates — sites that are geared to the more vanilla-ish and less BDSM-y folks who have an interest in, well, whatever the hell it is that we do around here. Keyheld is geared toward couples exploring male chastity and orgasm denial, and eventually generated so much interest that we spun off a sister site She-Held, aimed more for women (and men) exploring female-led relationships and light female dominance.
Last week, She-Held, for whatever reason, lost the RSS feed widgets that link to the most recent posts on the various listed blogs. Mrs. Fever sent me a heads-up note, and from there I began rebuilding the list from memory. Realizing that the list was pretty short, I opened up the Google and started searching for FLR blogs.
The things I do for you people, I swear.
Anyway, in the course of finding the different blogs, I ran across one called “Real Women Don’t Do That To Their Husbands,” the name being a take-off from the blog “Real Women Don’t Do Housework,” and that name itself being a take-off on a 1980s humor book called “Real Men Don’t Eat Quiche,” which was followed by a send-up called “Real Women Don’t Pump Gas,” which instigated any number of similarly named books which followed.
Anyway, the blog is written by a “James” who seems to have stumbled across some FLR & femdom blogs, and has apparently been busy thinking (or rather, over-thinking) about the concepts; so much so that he has felt compelled to comment in some of those blogs, and to use his blog to pick apart specific posts. And while I applaud his efforts (everybody needs a hobby, right?), I do question how much he has thought (or over-thought) this through.
For example, here is his review of some of the blogs he has read:
1. wifesincharge.blogspot.com – The story of a woman who turned her man’s interest in spanking into a license to repeatedly and brutally beat him for the most minor of infractions until — as she put it–he was a blubbering mess. She even let her mother and sister beat him. The blog has been up since 2014, but fortunately she keeps the torture porn to herself. I’ve corresponded with them and to a third party about them–they are real.
2. Strictjulie.com– This glib, smart-ass of a woman most recently bragged about how she caught a man in a compromising position and used it as leverage to humiliatingly spank him. Now, she delightfully brags about how fun it was to beat an unwilling man.
This woman beats the living fuck out of her husband. One of her recent posts described beating him with 60 Delrin (acrylic) cane strokes until he was crying uncontrollably, which makes her wet.
3. FLR101 – “Yoga Girl” characterizes men as boorish masturbators who need to be controlled. She controls her husband with shock collars and leather straps. He’s a prick, so I don’t feel too bad about him personally, but she is as vile as they come.
4. Real Wives Don’t Do Housework – These women preach harshly punishing their husbands, silencing their opinions, and essentially dumping all of the domestic burdens on them. If the me do not comply “happily”, they are punished.
4. Femdomthinktank- a spin of of #4 and equally odious.
5. https://im-hers.blogspot.com/ – This one is the saddest of all. After surviving orgasm denial for over a year, this poor bastard posted about how lonely he was in his FLR marriage. His wife briefly asked him if it was true and immediately dropped the subject. It is harder to imagine a more callous act:
As you know, Katie reads and approves all of what I post and that post was no exception. She read it but had little to say. When she finished proofing it she asked if I was lonely and I told her I did feel lonely. She didn’t probe further.
You should’ve felt the temperature drop just reading that. I know I did.
That post angered me beyond belief. Unfortunately, after pleading his distress, every time a commenter sympathized with him, the poster was quick to defend his wife, just like an abused wife in a domestic battery case. He just can’t process the disregard and lack of concern she shows for him. If he accepts it, his world comes to an end, so he can’t accept it.
She finally “let” him have an orgasm the other day. Now, he’s all chipper and on cloud nine. Let’s see how he is in six months. Perhaps she’d enjoy finding him dead at his own hands. What an ultimate tribute to your FLR wife — a human sacrifice.
Listen ladies: What goes around comes around. Some day, you will really need your man to support you through your insecurities and anxieties. You’re going to get old. You’re going to lose your looks. Other women may see your man as a “nice guy,” the type they’ve been unable to find.
Ask yourself this: Why should he give a fuck about what you go through? Did you show him mercy. Did you show him caring? Did you listen to his anxieties or allow him to vent his emotions without fear of punishment? I know Mz. Kaylee of RWDDH does not allow her husband to vent his frustrations or he is immediately punished. Did you beat him harshly and without any concern for his safety or well being.
Don’t be surprised if he doesn’t give a fuck. Personally, I’d wait until you are weak and needy and would then just not give you what you so clearly need. Then, I would sit back and enjoy the show as you spiral into self-doubt and twist in the wind with no one having your back.
Humiliating and degrading someone is tricky business when you live with them. You’ll never know if they’re plotting their revenge . . . until it’s too late.
My advice: Practice sleeping with one eye open, or at least in a locked room your husband can’t get into.
Either that or try to be a decent goddamn human being.
While there are only a couple of dozen posts up, he has spent a lot of time ranting about orgasm control and discipline, which leads me to ask if he really understands that the blogs (that is, the blog authors and their partners) are engaging in consensual power exchange. At least, I’m assuming so — if I didn’t “allow” Mrs Edge to cage me or cane me, then there is physically nothing that she could do otherwise. Presumably it’s the same case elsewhere.
But there is one post with a hint of self-awareness, that unfortunately, hasn’t been further developed.
I didn’t expect to get any commenting on this blog. However, one commenter has alleged that the blog “Real Women Don’t Do Housework” is written by men, and not by the women whose names appear on it: Fumika Misato, “Yoga Girl,” “Mz. Kaylee,” Maria, Pooja, and Jessica Brittingham.
Here’s what he said:
Anonymous September 13, 2016 at 10:05 AM
And here we really come to the point. It’s my own opinion that at best, most of the stories that we read on FLR blogs, femdom blogs, BDSM blogs, forums, Reddit, etc., are exaggerated or embellished. “My wife kept me locked up for a month straight” probably means that she removed it a few times for cleaning or adjustment. “She was so angry that she whipped me until I was bloody,” probably meant that she raised a few welts. And “I recommend that you immediately lock up your hubby’s cock and not let him out for at least three months to teach him a lesson,” is more likely “I’m really a guy, and this is one of my own fantasies.”
We have to use our sense of discernment when reading these kinds of blogs (with regard to the situation written about), and that discernment also applies to how we choose to understand them (the way we are going to react to them). I know that I often run across blogs that I don’t agree with, or those that I think the participants are doing something that isn’t the best idea. I’ve learned not to engage them in argument because I have no way of knowing if it’s really just somebody writing out a fantasy.
I’m going to repeat myself because at one time I used to be pretty insightful:
I don’t want to be a buzzkill, but those of you who insist that your wife went from June Cleaver to Mistress Cruella overnight, has had you locked in a CB6000 for the last three years (even though it’s only been on the market for 18 months), and who is forcing you to take estrogen in order to turn you into a woman, are really becoming annoying for the grown-ups who want to have decent discussions about how to make the devices more secure, and what kinds of impacts it will have on our relationships. Your wild-assed scenarios are also scaring the noobs who wander in here looking for advice, there being so little available on the subject.
And look – there is nothing wrong with posting a fantasy as a fantasy; the internet is full of them. But let’s please stop pretending that your vanilla partner is suddenly going to go all dominatrixy after she discovers your affair with your secretary.
Anyway, I’m done here. I did not link to that blog because I didn’t know if he would take offense to me having written this, but if you want to go gnash your teeth over something, you can copy the text and paste it into your browser address bar:
Edit: I should have mentioned that if I have overlooked your blog, or if you know of one that should be listed, please leave me a note in the comments.
Apropos of nothing, I’m putting this picture here, not because it’s related, but because here in the northeast US we’re having what I’m sure will be one of the last nice weekends before we get into the chilly Fall season, and this seemed like such a nice picnic scene.