So I ran across this interesting gem from Outclick the Coverage.
Okay, on to the mailbag.
“I’m a woman, married and in her mid thirties. We have good, not great sex about once or twice a week, but lately he’s been more attentive and dedicated to, well, ensuring that I finish, which he wasn’t always been that aware of in the past. But he recently disclosed a fetish that has me nervous. He told me that he wants to lock himself in a chastity device and give me the key. He says it’s to help him focus on me more.
He says that this is becoming pretty common fetish and all I have to do is unlock him every now and then at my discretion. He says he likes the idea of being controlled by me. I’m a little concerned about all this and I’m not sure how to go about it.
Since you’re the expert on all kinds of weird sex stuff, is this common? Am I really expected to treat his member like a dog in a kennel? How do I make this fun for me?
Sorry to treat you like a kinky Dear Abby, but I just want to hear your take on this.”
I have never heard of this fetish at all. I mean, I’ve heard of chastity belts, but I thought they only existed for women hundreds of years ago, not for men in 2016.
I’m assuming this chastity belt isn’t made of metal material or something else that would make an erection painful. Because having an erection pressing against metal just sounds awful.
Having said that, if he’s really into wearing a chastity belt, what do you have to lose here?
I don’t think this is a common fetish, but I don’t see how it’s really that harmful.
Plus, you can threaten to never give him the key again while he’s wearing the chastity belt, which can probably get him to do more than just service you during sex. Who knows, maybe you can even get him to fulfill every married woman’s deepest, most ardent and scandalous fantasy while he’s wearing the chastity belt — completing more household chores. (emphasis added)
It’s interesting that she added “He says that this is becoming pretty common fetish,” because several of the online distributors have mentioned that chastity devices rank closely behind dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, etc.
The other side, though, was this: “I’m assuming this chastity belt isn’t made of metal material or something else that would make an erection painful. Because having an erection pressing against metal just sounds awful.”
Isn’t it interesting that on one hand male chastity is “becoming a common fetish,” while on the other hand, people know so little about it? Why do you suppose that is?
Naturally, the columnist’s advice included the bit about trading sex for chores. Because few things make women more aroused than trading sex for services.
Anyway, the chastity belt on this guy seems to be made of “metal material.” Do you suppose he’s in pain right now?
Actually, that device looks kind of hot.
I’ve purchased two chastity cages for my sub. He loves them and I love the way he looks in them. Both are made of metal but do not make getting an erection painful. It just means he can’t get a full erection, which in turn makes him extremely frustrated and willing to do anything In order to be released.
Chastity devices or cages for men are a lot more common than people think.
I personally love the way he looks in it. Super sexy. He loves wearing it for me and loves the feel of it locked on. It gets him very excited just knowing I have the key and I have the power to keep him in it for long periods of time or let him out whenever the mood strikes me.
My once vanilla Wife embraced chastity and has for the past11 years kept me locked. She is very demanding about it too. I’m lucky if she unlocks me once a month.
Do you have to do the ironing and all the washing up?
I could rant about this at length, and probably have at some point, but Randall Monroe has saved me a lot of time: https://xkcd.com/714/ .
Or are denied such, depending on my mood at the time.
Heh – I had that in mind when I was writing. Pretty sure that strip has been featured around these parts; there’s *always* a relevant xkcd strip for pretty much any life situation, isn’t there?
From hard science to romance, Randall Monroe covers a hell of a lot of ground. This one was my favorite when my husband and I were doing long distance: https://xkcd.com/162/ .
Also, just thought to check, and it looks like I got lost in the sheheld hiccup. Not gonna lie, I’m vain enough to appreciate the extra traffic.
I have to admit that “Duty Calls” is my hands down favorite. Especially lately.
I added you back onto She Held.
I am convinced that guys read the stuff online that lists the benefits and then emulate them thinking that is what they are supposed to do. It is very difficult to find online examples of real chastity where the magical chastity cage does not turn a man into a house working slave and his wife into a strict dominatrix, overnight.
Plus throughout the decades one thing we have learned to preserve our marriage is not to use sex as currency. You would be hardpressed to find any therapist that thinks sex should be used as a reward or withheld as punishment. That is just plain wrong but people read it on the internet so it must be true. The official chastity rule book says that chastity includes doing housework and earning a release.