Men Get Sad After Sex. Now We Have a Concrete Answer Why

Here’s an interesting article from Medium’s Mel Magazine:

Men Get Sad After Sex. Now We Have a Concrete Answer Why

When I first saw the topic, I thought it would be about the reported tendency for men to feel depressed, lackluster, or unmotivated after an orgasm; after all, that’s one of the enforced chastity tropes: men can take days or weeks to build back up to being proper partners after an orgasm – so the stories go.

But this article actually touched on something else that I hadn’t known about. Some men actually experience distinct feelings of shame and dysphoria after sex.

There were other theories out there about why men might be inclined to get the post-sex blues. Largely, it was presumed that men, hardwired to fuck strong, must feel some essence of their maleness has been lost once they’re spent, and that this realization creates a natural sadness.

The “essence of maleness” sounds too much like woo to me; fortunately, the researchers dug a little deeper.

But Schweitzer’s research, which came out this week, is enlightening: Some 41 percent of men have experienced PCD in their lifetime, almost as many as women. And the reasons are typically one or more of the following: psychological distress, past sexual trauma or sexual dysfunction.

There’s no evolutionary-psychology bullshit here: Men who are stressed out, have been abused or have trouble getting it up can very well feel bummed out after fucking. That’s not shocking. But hey, we can never get enough reminders that men are human, too.

Something like 46% of women experience PCD, something which has been known for a while. It’s interesting that nobody thought about  it in terms of how it applied to men; after all, men are supposed to be looking for sex – it’s hardwired into us, isn’t it?

The other interesting point is that one of the causes seems to be sexual trauma of some sort.

But the men who do so often had a history of sexual or emotional abuse in childhood, depression or anxiety, and more often, hypoactive sexual desire disorder — or a general lack of sexual desire. (It used to be called “being frigid,” and is mostly something you hear about related to women, who make up 33 percent of the reports of the disorder, compared with only 20 percent of men.) They were also more likely to experience premature or delayed ejaculation.

And it makes sense that if you’re not having much fun with sex, then you’re going to continue to experience dysphoria.

It’s not specifically a chastity related article, so those of you who came here looking for that kind of thing can skip it. I just happened to be reading at lunch and found it interesting.

I guess one way to avoid poist-coital dysphoria is to not have an orgasm, right?

Mrs Edge said that it’s going to be a fantasy for me, since she doesn’t anticipate allowing me to have any type of orgasm.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in sexuality, Sexuality & Relationships and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Men Get Sad After Sex. Now We Have a Concrete Answer Why

  1. collaredmichael says:

    Hmmm. Never is a long time!! My Queen likes me to have orgasms—just not a lot!!


  2. ssanders says:

    The article doesn’t say “post-orgasm” blues. It says “sex”. I’ve had some feeling of a “drop” after intense sexual experiences, even when there is no orgasm, especially after BDSM play.


  3. Doug Turnbull says:

    I believe there is an enzyme that is released once the male ejaculates that causes the “let down.” There are good evolutionary reasons for this. While reproduction is a prime motivator for the male sex drive, it conflicts with another instinct of male herd animals: Males protect the herd. So once he’s discharged his evolutionary duty to impregnate (that’s the goal) the female, the dominant male in the group, who does all of that, must return to his duties. No time for “cuddling” or any of the behavior that females prefer after sex. In human males, the desire has been satisfied and its time to raid the fridge or turn on ESPN.


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