The Chastity / Denial Matrix

Over the years, I keep getting sucked into discussions in which some person asks a question about “permanent” chastity, and the thread devolves into a mess in which most of the responses are about defining “permanent” and then arguing about whether someone’s ideas meet some arbitrary standards. The original question ends up being completely overlooked.

This is something that I’ve been thinking about for a while, but only recently had the light bulb blink on.

We all “know” what the term “permanent” means. Unfortunately, none of us can agree on it.

Because the conversation come up several times a month, and because everybody has their own variation on the definitions, I’m going to propose a matrix, similar to those political or religious ideology matrices that you see all over social media.

For you geeks, I’ve defined the two variables as: Caged (i.e., the wearing of a device) and Denial (i.e., the allowing of orgasms). This is because whenever we discuss it, the two are inevitably intertwined, which is one of the reasons why we can’t seem to agree on the terms, or we spend so much time explaining our own definitions.

The matrix is set with the variables on the Caged scale from Never Caged to Always Caged, and on the Denial scale from Always/Often Allowed Orgasm to Never Allowed Orgasm.

I’m attaching a picture for clarity.

Chastity / Denial

Defining the Caged (x) axis:
(There’s going to be some subjectivity to this, which is fine.)

0: Obviously, never locked, perhaps not even owning a device.
1: Has a device, worn sometimes for play.
2: Wears the device for extended play (a weekend, or maybe a week once in a while).
3: Wears it for extended play, or fairly frequently
4: Wears it frequently, maybe several days a week, or maybe a week or two at a time.
5: Wears it roughly half the time.
6: Wears it more often than not, with frequent removal.
7: Wears it almost all the time, but unlocked for certain occasions or situations.
8: Always worn, with infrequent removal (medical, travel, etc.)
9: Always worn, including travel, and their doctor has seen it.
10: Essentially permanently installed.

Defining the Denial (y) axis:
(Again, assuming that there will be some subjective evaluations)

0: Always allowed to have an orgasm, perhaps frequently. Denial isn’t even in the vocabulary here.
1: Almost always will get an orgasm.
2: Orgasm rarely denied
3: Usually gets to orgasm, although there might be a surprise ruin in there.
4: Orgasms may not be guaranteed, or possibly used as a reward.
5: Orgasms maybe half the time, perhaps ruined.
6: Orgasms are usually denied.
7: Rarely allowed orgasm, although possible ruins/milkings allowed.
8: Orgasms not allowed, although may have accidental ruins or emissions.
9: Orgasms not allowed, ruins not allowed, may possibly have accidents.
10: Orgasms and emissions never allowed.

For example, in my own situation, I’m locked up except for travel, medical, and similar reasons. I remove the device about once a month for a good scrubbing, and it goes back on That puts my Caged score at about 8. Likewise, Mrs Edge no longer allows me to have an orgasm, but once in a while I’ll have an emission of some kind in the cage – and I suspect she intentionally pushes my buttons to trigger them. So, on the Denial score, again, that’s about an 8. This means that when I’m describing how our relationship goes, 8,8 is a good shorthand description in the context of having a discussion about long term or permanent.

Some guys use the term “Permanent” to mean that they are always locked up, although they are frequently unlocked for playtime. Those guys could quickly describe their situation as, for example, 4,7, or 6, 8. Really hardcore players might be 9,9 or higher.

A few notes:

I floated this idea a while back, refined it, and recently floated it again. The scales are based on feedback from users at The Chastity Forums and Chastity Mansion, and a few other places.

Since we have so many geeks in this community, I tried to keep to the convention of using an (x,y) scale, and labeling it alphabetically (Caged, Denied) to make it easier to remember. I suppose people could also label themselves (for example): C8, D8.

Notice that I started off talking about “permanent chastity,” but I’m not even using the term in the scale. That is because I’ve discovered that there’s really no way to use the term objectively that won’t cause disagreement or confusion. Instead, the scale now becomes an easy way to describe one’s state of physical access and orgasm denial. By getting rid of the word “Permanent,” we toss out the baggage and various connotations. attached to that word.

Finally, I fully expect that there will be someone who will claim that this scale isn’t enough for them, and that their idea of “permanent chastity” goes up to 11.

(Edited for clarity, and to change the word “chastity” to “caged” where relevant.)

Mrs Edge says that the’s pretty sure she mentioned that part when she dropped me off at the clinic.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, male chastity, orgasm control, orgasm denial, Sexuality & Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to The Chastity / Denial Matrix

  1. thumper says:

    Reblogged this on Denying Thumper and commented:
    This is totally brilliant.

    Based on Tom’s matrix, I’m a 8,7. I’d like to be higher in both scores, but I don’t know it’s that’s possible/practical especially since Belle still likes to feel the penis inside her.

    Anyway, this thing needs to be the standard for how we talk about how chastity and denial are part of our lives. I love it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tom Allen says:

      Gosh, thanks.

      Something I didn’t really mention is that I think thstnpaetnof what drives the confusion in many of those online arguments is that we tend to conflate chastity with denial. They are two components, but they aren’t the same.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. collaredmichael says:

    I would be a 7/7 on this scale. I do get orgasms but infrequently. I wear the cage most days but am allowed out to play, workout or occasionally when on holiday. I’m also usually allowed out for travel and concerts etc. Still most days I’m caged at least 22 hours. If I don’t work out then that would be a 24 hour day! lol.
    I like this. May I repost?


  3. Pingback: The Chastity / Denial Matrix – collaredmichaelwordpresscom

  4. Mrs Fever says:

    Now my FemNerd brain is trying to figure out how to transpose this into something similar, with scales befitting The Deny-er.


    Liked by 1 person

    • Tom Allen says:

      I gave that some thought, but the situations for each are fundamentally very different. For example, as far as Mrs Edge is concerned, there has been almost no change in her day-to-day life… except that she has a somewhat more affectionate husband who is usually groping her. She gets sex when she wants, how she wants, and for however long she wants, and with no cleanup involved.

      Umm… wait, it’s starting to sound as if the only change for her has been for the better. 🤔

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Caged Lion says:

    Brilliant, Tom! I am a 5/7 (x/y). I think more interesting than the actual score is the quadrant you end up in. Typically, when two axes like this are plotted the resulting position on the chart can classify the x/y combination.

    For example, quadrant I (upper left) represents people who are rarely to never caged but are under moderate to very strict denial. I barely fit into that quadrant. I am caged about half the time. Quadrant II (upper right) represents people who are caged a majority of the time and are denied orgasms most of the time. Quadrant III (lower left) represents people who are rarely caged and get frequent orgasms. Quadrant IV (lower right) are people who are caged the majority of the time and get frequent orgasms.

    People in quadrants I and III are what I call the “cage free” team. Quadrants II and IV are the caged teams.. So, if you are in quadrant one you might consider yourself a cage-free, not-much-sex person. Maybe we can come up with cool names for each quadrant.

    This could be a fun activity. It would seem to me that the keyholders for quadrant IV have to work pretty hard frequently unlocking their males for all those orgasms. The keyholders for quadrant two have the least to do.

    You can see where I’m going. I think this could turn out to be a lot of fun. I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Tom Allen says:

      I initially drew this as a 0,0 (-5 to +5 range) x, y quadrant, but feedback made me realize that most people find 0 – 10 easier to understand.

      And yes, the quadrants (especially the centers) are populated by certain demographics. Upper right is “Team Locked” while lower left is “Team Unlocked.” Upper left is probably “Team Controlled,” and lower right is “Team Playtime.”

      Or something. I’m certainly not going to assign team names. It took me long enough to come up with the graph. 😉


  6. Bob says:

    Interesting. Puts me at a 4,4 for now, at least. She’s getting more and more accustomed to it and has hinted that we may go longer between unlocks or releases in the near future.


  7. leather kink guy says:

    i’m not sure i should post because i’m a dabbler (7-14 days every couple months), but here are my 2 cents: i’d use the word “chastity” only in the overall name of the grid – “Chastity Matrix” – and not as the name of an axis. On your image, x is labeled “caged”, which i think is better. myself, i think one can easily be in chastity, but not locked.
    (Side note: On Lockedmen, we use “locked”, which is an alternative. Since i only lock overnight (my skin), i often use the term “locked/denied” to be up front that i can’t completely give up the keys.
    So i’m a 2c,3d (or 8d for the last month (which is too long for my sanity, but…))
    Anyway – my two cents – i hope it’s ok…


    • Tom Allen says:

      I get what you’re saying, and you may have a point. I called it the “Chastity / Denial ” matrix because the people in the community – those who are interested – would immediately get the connection. Calling it the “Caged / Denied” matrix sounds a little off to me, but I figure that over time, if enough people use this scale, it will evolve .


      • leather kink guy says:

        I’m not sure I wrote that well (sorry!) I think you’re right about having the word “chastity” in the name, since it’s recognizable. (How about naming it simply the “Chastity Matrix”?)
        My point about the (x) axis was that the on the grid (x) is labeled “caged” while the text below is – “Refining the Chastity (x) axis:”
        I think using “caged” for (x) is clearer then using “chastity”.


        • leather kink guy says:

          That prematurely posted. That should read: “My point about the (x) axis was that on the grid its labeled “caged”, but in the text below you have “chastity” for “(x)”. Since one can be chaste without a cage, I think “caged” is a better label for (x).
          (I don’t think the “the name of the matrix” needs to correlate exactly with the axis’ labels. Your phrase (?) “the ‘chastity/denial’ matrix” is good. The beauty of your grid is that a community member who looks at it will get it pretty quickly.)

          Liked by 1 person

        • Tom Allen says:

          I figured out what you meant – I have the graph text reading Caged, but my explanation said Chastity. I changed the explanation text.

          Liked by 1 person

  8. Nicotime says:

    I’m not sure where I fall on this. Once unlocked I almost always get to cum, I just don’t get unlocked all that often…hmmm


  9. J says:

    8/8 for me


  10. Kinky Teen says:

    Hey I never thinked about chastity in a such scientific way xD


  11. Pingback: No time off from permanent | Mrs Edge Says…

  12. Pingback: Kept – Denying Thumper

  13. Pingback: Two Months of Femdom & Chastity – Sipriotes and Artemis

Talk to me!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s