Summer Penis Has Come and Gone. Gird Your Loins for Winter Penis

It’s closing on on winter here in New England, and that means cold weather. And with the cold weather, that means that those of us who wear devices have to deal with a new set of adjustments. The equipment that was hanging comfortably in your jeans or khakis is now feeling much more snug, or even uncomfortably tight as that lose skin and other wabbly bits now tries to retract into your body.

The whole “shrinkage” thing was a 1990s Seinfeld joke, but recently some researchers have started to, uhh, examine it more closely.

From:  Summer Penis Has Come and Gone. Gird Your Loins for Winter Penis

Writing at Metro U.K., Ellen Scott informs us that as the weather gets colder, the penis has a reaction to the cold, according to sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight. “The blood vessels in the penis shut down because of the cold temperature,” Knight tells her.

“Men can expect their penis to shrivel by up to 50 percent in length and 20 to 30 percent in girth when the weather gets chilly.”And as for why, well, that’s just science: “The body is programmed to preserve heat and energy,” Knight continues. “So in the cold, it funnels its resources into maintaining blood flow to the middle of your body, where your vital organs are. But in order to do that, your body has to reduce blood flow to your appendages — your fingers, toes and your penis. The testicles also retract and rise closer to the rest of the body so they can also stay warm.”All this leads to greater desensitization, which means it could also be harder to get hard, and harder to get off. “Men can take longer to orgasm when they are cold,” Knight says.

Uh, isn’t this just shrinkage? Which we already knew was real?In a sense, yes. Assuming we take all this at penis face value, it makes logical sense: In the same way summer penis makes your dick look and feel bigger, winter penis would make your dick and balls look and feel smaller, because baby it’s cold outside. “Not a big deal,” Scott writes, “but worth being aware of.”

If this is all new to you, read more at Medium:

Summer Penis Has Come and Gone. Gird Your Loins for Winter Penis

Speaking of chastity devices:


Mrs Edge says that you don’t need a lock on something that will never be removed.

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
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