Back to the Future


I’ve spent most of 2018 locked in a chastity device. My time out can literally be measured in hours: a few doctors visits and a few long distance bike rides were the only times when Mrs Edge had me remove it… until, ironically enough, LOctober, in which we did a bit of international traveling,

“So, what are we going to do about that?” she asked me a few days before we had to leave.  Valuing my privacy, and knowing that we were going to be around a lot of family, I was hesitant to even pack the A272 in the luggage; I really didn’t want to have to face some European authorities to explain all the stainless steel. Fortunately, I had already given this some thought.

“Well, you could let me just run wild and free, and give me a lot of hand jobs for the next couple of weeks.”

Apparently that was the wrong answer. So, on to Plan B:

“Well, I suppose I can dust off the old plastic cage,” I told her. That ended up being a more acceptable alternative, so I dug into the back of the closet and pulled out my old CB3000.

[ Voiceover narration]

Back in the old days, before cheap Chinese devices, Mature Metal, Steelwerks, Steelworks, and various other resellers and manufacturers, there was the Miller Enterprises (now rebranded as CB-X) and their line of plastic devices, the CB2000, and the well-intentioned, but horribly executed The Curve. In the early to mid 2000s, they introduced the CB3000, an ergonomically designed device that did not look like a mish-mash of plumbing parts. The cage itself was a work of art: it was, essentially, a penis shaped spaceship. Naturally, it was so far beyond what many of us had imagined and had worked up in our garage or basement workshops, that we had to buy them.

Those old-timers who remember the early days can attest that while the device looked cool, there were issues. The hinged cuff ring pinched or chafed, both at the hinge and at the section that closed. The hinge, itself, was a nickel plated brass rivet. The riveting process often cracked the hinge, and a lot of people reported skin irritation because of the rivet. And the two piece, sonically welded construction often split at the seam, and usually catching and pinching unsuspecting guys at the worst moments.

The older style CB3000 had the locking pins pointed toward the body, and you had to be smart enough to snip them off and sand the sharp edges. Chastity device discussion groups were filled with questions, complaints, tips, and tricks. Devices were often modified with epoxy in the holes, plastic tubing around the hinge, or other fixes to make them more suitable for longer-term wear.

[ / Voiceover narration]

The night before we left, I checked the package to make sure that I had the spacers, lock (and the key!), pins, etc., and put it in my luggage to be checked. I even separated some of the components, just in case. The next morning, Mrs Edge unlocked the stainless steel A272, I took a quick shower, and we headed for the airport.

[Scene fade out, then fades in to guy wrestling with a confusing array of plastic pieces]

Okay, here’s the thing. I wore the hell out of my CB3000s. Even when guys were moving on to the newer CB6000 and some of the steel devices, for me (and for Mrs Edge) the CB3000 was still a very wearable device. Of course, over the years I’d cut, epoxied, glued, soldered, and remade a lot of different pieces, so by the time we had taken a break from chastity, it was truly a custom device. I even managed to make The Fort (a clone in cast stainless steel) wearable.

The device I took with me was all plastic, with a hinged cuff ring that I had epoxied into a one-piece unit. It also had an aftermarket KSD3 (from the KeptForHer folks) because I found that it helped to anchor things in place. I hadn’t worn it in so long that it took a few minutes to remember how everything fit together; some pieces were a bit fiddly, which I found annoying. Mrs Edge clicked the lock shut, then I got dressed, and we were off for the day.

It was interesting to remember how bulky the device was. Yes, everyone new to the kink wonders if anyone is staring at the huge package in your pants; after a couple of years with the much lower profile A272, the old CB3000 felt like I was wearing some huge contraption. Since I’m an old pro, I managed to adapt, but despite the CB3000 being half the weight of the A272 (3 oz vs 6 oz), the bulkiness made it seem more noticeable, and I was definitely more aware of wearing it.

Since the CB3000 is pretty much a solid tube style, I had to make sure that I flushed it out carefully every night. The A272 allows me to work a little soapy water into the tube, something that was more difficult with the CB3000, in part because of how I had made the spacers and the KSD3 fit together.

Another point is that the CB3000 and CB6000 have an inside diameter of 1-3/8″ (35 mm). The A272 (and similar devices) are just under 1-5/16 (33mm). You wouldn’t think you’d notice the difference, but it felt huge after I first put it on.

I have this 4 point matrix for chastity devices: Comfort, Convenience, Security, and Sexiness. After a couple of weeks back in one of my original devices, even though it had always been one of my favorites, I now found that it wasn’t as impressive as it was fifteen years ago. And this is not to say that nobody should consider buying one now; it’s probably more to do with my experience as a consumer. Wearer. Whatever.

Interestingly, Mrs Edge had some positive reactions. For one, she still likes the clear plastic, and enjoys being able to see me all scrunched up inside. Even though she acknowledges that it was annoying to have the thing break; or rather, to have me spend hours working up repairs, she does prefer a more “natural look” over the shiny stainless steel.

The other thing she noticed was that during our nightly spooning, she preferred (or at least, missed) the bulkier CB3000, mainly because the penis/spaceship design made it more bonerish (wait, is that a word?), which in turn made it seem as if I was more aroused. In reality, the A272 only has a slightly lower and more curved profile, and without the bulk of the flange, and the spacers, pins, and lock. Over the years, Mrs Edge would occasionally complain about a stray poke with some part of the CB3000 (and similarly with the CB6000 and The Fort). There haven’t been any such complaints with the A272.

Anyhow, since I had already become accustomed to wearing a device, it wasn’t that much of a difference to re-adapt to wearing the CB3000; after a few days it was back to feeling natural. And before we caught the shuttle to the airport for the trip back, Mrs Edge removed the CB3000, I took a quick shower, and packed it into the luggage for the flight home. That night, I was safely re-ensconced in stainless steel, and my old CB3000 went into its box in the back of the closet again.

This hasn’t been so much a review, more of a look back. I don’t have any new insights from having worn it again, nor were there are surprises from going back to the A272. If anything, I was happy to get back to my stainless steel device, simply because that’s now what I prefer.

I remember when the CB3000 was the wave of the future, a molded mass-produced chastity device. It was nice to take it out for a little visit, but now I’m pretty glad that I don’t need to live there.


Mrs Edge has been getting a thrill from telling me this. I’m sure it’s just fantasy talk, right?

 

Posted in A272, CB3000, CB6000, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Chastity Devices, Mainstream Chastity, male chastity, orgasm denial, The Fort | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The problems with chastity


Apropos of the article last week, What spending two weeks in a chastity device taught me about my sexuality and my marriage, here’s one that I only ran across this week. It’s an especially insightful article, aimed at women/partners of guys who are locked up. I’m going to copy it here, with a link to the original, because I’ve been noticing a tendency for Tumblr blogs to disappear lately.


The benefits problems with chastity

If you are into male submission, it isn’t hard to find lists upon lists of the benefits of male chastity. As someone who loves the game of chastity there are some very serious side effects of chastity that some men experience that they don’t tell you about on those lists. Instead of a fun and kinky game, it can get dark and bitter FAST. This happens when chastity is done wrong.

I am here to help. What I say won’t apply to every situation or person. But if you as a keyholder (or someone with a keyholder) isn’t having fun with chastity then this might help you.

But first some highlights of these list of which I speak. Here are some common benefits I found when browsing through a dozen or so such lists (type Chastity Benefits or similar terms in your Tumblr search bar or your favorite search engine)

1. His desire for you will skyrocket
2. His libido doesn’t crash
3. Male masturbation is evil and this stops it
4. He’ll stay faithful to you
5. He’ll be more helpful around the house

etc, etc, etc

This is a sampling but you can easily find more. I will go through each of these examples and explain why I think they are flawed, and how to make it better. But before that I am going to let you in on the basis of every problem with chastity right now.

IGNORING HIM RUINS EVERYTHING

Yep. If you want chastity to work it means a lot more sex. A LOT more. But it isn’t the traditional type of sex. It is talking and tasks and receptive sex on his part. If as the keyholder (mental or physical keyholder, it makes no difference) chastity is some kind of sexual oubliette where you throw your partner and forget about them then you are begging for problems and pain. The benefits of chastity only happen when you replace what you have taken away from him, with something more enticing than orgasms. And remember, that for most guys, we are biologically wired to do almost anything to cum! Mother nature dedicates whole parts of the brain to sex and desire (for most all people) so you are working with some strong bio-magic. Be aware of what you are getting into. It has the power to raise sexual skyscrapers you didn’t know were possible but it can also ruin and destroy people and relationships. You know the phrase…. “With great power there must also come –  great responsibility”.

So on to how we make those benefits a reality.


5. This won’t happen with chastity. Period. If you lock up his dick and then expect him to just start doing more house work you are a fool. Taking away a joy in life isn’t going to make someone more helpful. And it is just an abuse of the kinky relationship. Kink is about fun, house work is about necessity; it is everyone’s work. If you don’t think your boy is pulling his share, or would like them to do more, then JUST SAY SOMETHING. It is that simple. You don’t bring kink into. If he doesn’t help when asked, a few grams of steel, or a mental command, isn’t going to change that. And if you don’t feel like asking every time, have a conversation where you explain your needs and wants and then work it out between you. Don’t expect kink to magically fix things if you can’t talk. The same holds true for getting flowers, cards, romantic dinners, etc. OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

Now, how to do it right.

If you are in a D/s relationship, which playing with chastity automatically makes it a D/s game, make it part of the fun. Be explicit about what you expect and why. And tell him often…. more than that…. even more than that… Yes, daily, hourly. You get the idea. And then give him reasons to do more chores that relate to chastity. Trade time out or release for the floor waxed. Or Don’t remember the dishes and it is a ruined orgasm for you. Or You gave up your manhood so now you do a woman’s job. Play with the power he has given you and tailor it to the way the two of you play. Examples?

Your boy into sissification? Great. That little thing has no place being out in the world were it could be mistaken for a man’s cock. Lock that shit up and go get your gurly ass dressed and in the kitchen where gurls belong. (Because dishes are more fun panties and heels.)

Your man’s a pain slut? Sit in a chair behind him with a single tail and give him a lick every sixty seconds until the dishes are done. If he drops one or doesn’t do it to your satisfaction, he starts all over again… with the strokes every thirty seconds.

Is he a service sub? When you get home, inspect every dish and point out how disappointed your with every mistake you find. Let him feel bad for failing you.

etc, etc, etc.

You get the idea. Whatever your style looks like, use it. But for the sake of all that is kinky, play with it! Don’t ignore it. Don’t make them wait in silence for a someday. Follow through on what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it. And if that is more than 48 hours away, your are doing it wrong (more on that in a bit). An inconsistent or forgetful dom is a bad dom. And bad doms make very bad subs.

Oh, and for those that have missed the earlier point on equality but immediately took the role-playing comment (woman’s work) as sexist … go away and quit messing up the fun for everyone else who gets it. Sexism is sexy (for most). That statement means, as an example, that we know that corsets where torturous devices that women were forced to wear at one time. Women died from wearing them! But today we love them because WE DON’T FORCE WOMEN TO WEAR THEM ANY MORE. We have taken the torturous and made it fun. We do that with physical pain. Ever spanked a … SLAVE? We do the same thing with emotionally painful topics. In fact, it is by playing with these outdated ideas, turning them on their heads, and making fun of them that we remove the power they once had to hurt. As I said above, house work is everyone’s work. Kink means that putting a cage on a man and making him do ‘women’s work’ is just fun because it is role-playing, not a forced reality.

4. If you believe that a small bit of metal and a lock that can be popped off with a screwdriver or small cutters is the only thing keeping a cheating man faithful to you then you are not just a fool, you are an idiot. Sorry to be harsh, but think about it. There are men who will throw away safety, power, wealth and even the lives of themselves and others just to fulfill one of our strong biological urges. If your man isn’t strong enough, or loves you enough, or respects you enough, or isn’t civilized enough to not fuck someone else without the consent and discussion of all parties involved then I promise you that your little cage isn’t going stop him. He is a jerk to start with, don’t play with him. Period.

Now, how to do it right.

Use your words. Make a role-playing game out of it. Talk to him, often (see above) about how you love the power over his orgasms he’s given up, or how you can play with others but as sub he can’t, or how as a sub he hasn’t earned the right to play a top role, or how he’s the bottom bitch now, etc. You know your man and what buttons to push to make him excited. Use it. And use it often. If he isn’t getting to play with his dick then you need to play with his head. And far more often than he ever played with his dick. Whatever you do, help him remember why he made a vow to you and why you are worth the chastity.

3. This is some amazingly anti sex thinking going on there. Listen to sex advice shows or read non-sex positive help books for couples and you will hear the lamination of the women (not being sexist, being Conan) over how awful his masturbation is. He does it many times a day and he doesn’t want to play with me and its like he’s cheating and… and… and… BULLSHIT. Masturbation is something most every higher animal does and most every person does unless there has been trauma. Emotional, physical, cultural or religious trauma but it takes some kind of trauma to make someone give up the benefits of masturbation. Male masturbation is not evil.

Now I will admit that like any activity, it can be over done or become all consuming. But that is a discussion of addiction and not one of kink. There is a difference. And if you can’t see the difference you need some education on what addiction is.

And I will also admit that there are those that chose masturbation over their partners but this is because of … trauma! If your bed has become so painful to be in, difficult to obtain, tricky to navigate, or he feels to shamed to join you, or random to the point of no longer being a realistic option then yeah, he might rub one out… often. But that isn’t because he prefers it. It is because it is ‘that’ or the relationship ends (going separate ways or it loses what it once was). He has needs that occur at a duration or time that you cannot or will not meet. And he has found a way to meet them that saves your relationship. This isn’t true in every case but it is in more cases than people want to admit. 😦

How to fix this?

Welcome to the reoccurring theme of a fun, positive and kinky replacement. You are locking him up and taking away the right of orgasm. And like anytime someone locks up a natural animal you become responsible for their care and maintenance. You get to control when, AND HOW, he releases. It could be never. In that case, you have to find a suitable replacement that is applied at least as often as what you are taking away (i.e. masturbation… which can be multiple times a day for some guys). This replacement could be submissive acts, kinky words, edging, etc. And then the occasional ruin or miliking or prostate release. Whatever you do, make it fun (even in an evil way) and make it very frequent. And if it doesn’t result in frequent releases (kinky talk, submissive tasks, etc) then it has to be as frequent as his normal masturbation schedule (if not more so).

2. Nope.

This might happen in the first few days as he gets horny as hell. But if you keep ignoring it, keep his sex drive in that sexual oubliette, you know what happens to that powerful, biologically fueled, drive? It changes to something much darker. It could be anger, depression, sadness, rejection, violence, etc. Whatever your man’s dark nature is, being forgotten and ignored will bring it out and bring it out amplified. When you forget him, the best you can hope for is to crush his spirit to the point where he doesn’t care anymore. In any case, you will kill the spark that made you love him in the first place. That darkness will cause the game to come to an end in a miserable failure and might put in place lasting emotional trauma that you can’t fix.

How do you do it right?

DO NOT IGNORE HIM. Don’t forget him. Absence DOES NOT MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER. Constant teasing and torture and playing and edging and whatever other fun kinky things you do will. If it is done often it WILL make his libido skyrocket and bring out the fun, kinky side of him. He may get super submissive. He may beg. Plead. Claim he’s dying. 🙂 But he won’t be mad, depressed, violent or feel forgotten. He will feel loved, owned and played with.

1. You know what? This is the same as the last one. Go re-read that again.

In the end, chastity is an awesome game so long as the keyholder (as always, physical or mental) doesn’t take a fire and forget approach, or the ‘absence will make the heart grow fonder so if I forget to play with him one day, two days, a week, two weeks, he’ll really be ready to play when I do finally grace him with the merest crumb of play time’ approach. If you do that, it will backfire spectacularly.

Chastity can do all those wonderful things the Tumblr blogs say it can. It can make your man feel, and be, much more submissive. He can find a renewed spark in you. He can feel loved, cared for and not shamed for want to play with the person he loved. So long as you don’t ignore your dominant role and don’t forget to play more often than the activity your are replacing (his desire to orgasm) then it will work


Well… I’m thinking that I certainly wouldn’t have enjoyed it less.

Posted in chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, male chastity, orgasm denial, Sex Blogging | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

What spending two weeks in a chastity device taught me about my sexuality and my marriage


https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/sex-locktober-chastity-belt-bdsm-marriage-relationship-sexuality-penis-a8600906.html

Apparently I hit the wrong button, and accidentally posted an article that I was saving for later. After I’d had a chance to, you know, actually read it.

Anywho. since a few people have already commented, I’m going to retcon this post because I think that it’s worth a look.

The author (who posted this on a Reddit group that I follow) is trying to make the point that sex — or more correctly, PIV intercourse — is on the table for virtually every transactional aspect of his relationship, and that locking up his cock removed that option so he could end up having a more emotional connection.

BTW, at the end of this post, I’ll have an ebay link to a bridge in NYC to which I have exclusive rights, and I’ll be happy to sell it to you.

He starts off with this:

Simply put, I had no idea how much of my daily interactions with my wife were subtle negotiations for sex, but my wife sure did. She’d come to accept it as part of being married to a man. But now, if my hand lingered too long on a caress, my cage made the motivations painfully obvious. Call it cognitive behaviour therapy for my penis.

I’ve been reading about this kind of thing for 15 or 20 years now, and frankly, I’m so put off by it that I usually just click past a page or post, because it seems to come from a place in which the guy thinks he *should* be saying something like this. It positions male sexual desire as some kind of savage or yucky aspect of sexuality that needs to be relegated to the basement.

Also, men who see *every* interaction as a sex-laden transaction or negotiation are morons.

Beforehand, her being playful with me was viewed primarily as an invitation to sex. Now it could now exist on its own. My listening to her day wasn’t partially “putting in the time to earn sex,” because sex wasn’t an option. I was liberated to enjoy the act of listening.

Ugh. Personally, I don’t believe a word of this. Virtually every description from a guy first getting accustomed to wearing a chastity device recounts how they are even *more* focused  on their dick, and how it takes weeks, or even longer, to sublimate their desires. This guy didn’t suddenly lock a cage on (he doesn’t specify which one), and feel immediately closer to his wife. Most guys do that, and immediately talk about how horny they are all the damn time.

If I was stressed, my new avenue was one that had always been there: I talked to my wife about it. She had great insights but mostly she just listened. The stress went away, and unlike the short-term benefit masturbation provided, I got longer term benefits like companionship, trust, vulnerability and reassurance.

I have no idea what he’s saying, but I can’t blame people who might be interpreting this as “This guy was very self-centered, and it took a sex toy to make him more focused o n his wife as a real person, instead of as a way to meet his physical needs.

Oh well. All that said, the article itself wasn’t all that bad, once I’ve stepped away from it for a bit. I really get tired of people (mainly men) attaching some kind of intrinsic spirituality to something as simple as not having an orgasm. Hopefully he did get some kind of insight from all this, and I hope his wife will eventually reap some benefits from this.


Oh, I guess this LOctober thing is nearly over. At least, for some of you people. For some of us others, not so much.


Posted in Chastity & Orgasm Denial, LOctober, male chastity, NO-vember, orgasm denial, Sexuality & Relationships | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Eternal Loctober


So, Loctober is here, and the various forums and Tumblrs are abuzz with chatter about a no-orgasm month, and non-stop chastity for the next few weeks. It’s funny to see how the idea has grown in the last few years. Of course, for some of us, it’s just another month.

Back in January, I wrote that Mrs Edge and I had been discussing going back to more serious chastity play, and through a misunderstanding she thought that I wanted her to hold all keys, and not even allow me an emergency key. It ended up that we didn’t do that; in fact, during bike season I ended up with an extra key in the bathroom in order to remove the cage for longer cycling sessions (the rule was that I’d get dressed in my snazzy spandex gear, then unlock, go riding, and put the cage back on in the shower as soon as I’d get back).

Anyhow, the idea of having more control percolated in her for a while, and somehow — still not quite certain how — I’ve been locked up more or less continuously since then. The “less” part was from mid January to the end of February, when both travel and flu season contributed to loss of opportunity and desire. The “more” part started in March, when Mrs Edge wanted to have me once again use her Vixskin Boitoi strapon, which had been shelved for a while because of …

Look, as you get older, weird thing happen to your body. Mrs Edge had an early menopause, and for a while has had a lot of issues with dryness. Also, with over-sensitivity, and not in a good way. She took different meds, supplements, and hormones. Last year she started taking a different med, which helped with her internal lubrication. We also switched to a different lube (and many, many thanks to Dangerous Lilly and her fantastic guide to such things), which made things more enjoyable for the both of us.

Anyway, Mrs Edge was feeling more like her old self, and since she prefers PIV, she asked me to try our favorite addition again. It was an immediate success, which, in retrospect, was probably what led to the “more” part. The upshot is that one day I realized that, except for a few doctor’s visits, I had been locked up continuously for several months, and it appeared that we were getting back into more serious play.

Mrs Edge is funny. She grew to kink pretty hard on the control aspect of chastity, so when she clicks the lock (or, because it’s the A272, twists the lock), it stays closed. Period.  I go from being constantly aroused , and then on to some kind of adjustment period, and then I stay on a low-level simmer for long periods of time.

By the time summer was arriving, I had one of those “milestone” birthdays. Surely she would uncage me, right?

Nope. My present was that I got to give her a good pounding with the Boitoi.

Our anniversary came. So did she. I remained caged.

Eventually, I asked her one night, if she even knew how long since my last orgasm, or how long since she had unlocked me.

She told me she hadn’t even considered it, hadn’t given a single thought to it since… whenever it was. She was in this for the long haul, and was enjoying the ride.

I told her that, in retrospect, it was kind of hot for her to leave me locked for my birthday. She replied that she had a brief moment in which she had thought about allowing me a ruined orgasm, but then ended up forgetting about it. It wasn’t out of cruelty, mind you; for her, she loved the idea that she could do it, and knowing that I’d probably end up enjoying it.

That was a few months ago. My A272 is still the most comfortable cage. Mrs Edge has been enjoying regular (as in frequent) intercourse. And now, especially since the control kink has kicked in, she’s floating the idea that maybe an annual orgasm for me isn’t in the cards. Why? Because it sets up expectations, and she doesn’t want to feel like she has to comply with anything like anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, or whatever. For her, it’s about the control, the power to make the decision. Dice games, random numbers, and “special dates” take the decision out of her hands. So, an orgasm per year would make me expect another one twelve months later. That’s not going to work for her.

Maybe… every other year? Maybe… leap years? Maybe… not?


 

Posted in A272, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Chastity Devices, male chastity, Sexuality & Relationships | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Hard Limits


In case you haven’t seen this yet, Paltego, over at Femdom Resource, just re-tweeted an operation by German firefighters or EMTs who are removing a poorly chosen metal piece (possibly a large lug nut) as a cock ring, after the poor guy discovered that he couldn’t remove it.

While I’m pretty confident in my ability to work with hand tools, I can’t imagine wanting a disk grinder that close to my wabbly bits.


No need to worry about this happening to me. Mrs Edge prefers me to be completely protected inside a steel cage, anyhow.

Posted in Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Chastity Devices | 1 Comment

Men Get Sad After Sex. Now We Have a Concrete Answer Why


Here’s an interesting article from Medium’s Mel Magazine:

Men Get Sad After Sex. Now We Have a Concrete Answer Why

When I first saw the topic, I thought it would be about the reported tendency for men to feel depressed, lackluster, or unmotivated after an orgasm; after all, that’s one of the enforced chastity tropes: men can take days or weeks to build back up to being proper partners after an orgasm – so the stories go.

But this article actually touched on something else that I hadn’t known about. Some men actually experience distinct feelings of shame and dysphoria after sex.

There were other theories out there about why men might be inclined to get the post-sex blues. Largely, it was presumed that men, hardwired to fuck strong, must feel some essence of their maleness has been lost once they’re spent, and that this realization creates a natural sadness.

The “essence of maleness” sounds too much like woo to me; fortunately, the researchers dug a little deeper.

But Schweitzer’s research, which came out this week, is enlightening: Some 41 percent of men have experienced PCD in their lifetime, almost as many as women. And the reasons are typically one or more of the following: psychological distress, past sexual trauma or sexual dysfunction.

There’s no evolutionary-psychology bullshit here: Men who are stressed out, have been abused or have trouble getting it up can very well feel bummed out after fucking. That’s not shocking. But hey, we can never get enough reminders that men are human, too.

Something like 46% of women experience PCD, something which has been known for a while. It’s interesting that nobody thought about  it in terms of how it applied to men; after all, men are supposed to be looking for sex – it’s hardwired into us, isn’t it?

The other interesting point is that one of the causes seems to be sexual trauma of some sort.

But the men who do so often had a history of sexual or emotional abuse in childhood, depression or anxiety, and more often, hypoactive sexual desire disorder — or a general lack of sexual desire. (It used to be called “being frigid,” and is mostly something you hear about related to women, who make up 33 percent of the reports of the disorder, compared with only 20 percent of men.) They were also more likely to experience premature or delayed ejaculation.

And it makes sense that if you’re not having much fun with sex, then you’re going to continue to experience dysphoria.

It’s not specifically a chastity related article, so those of you who came here looking for that kind of thing can skip it. I just happened to be reading at lunch and found it interesting.


I guess one way to avoid poist-coital dysphoria is to not have an orgasm, right?

Mrs Edge said that it’s going to be a fantasy for me, since she doesn’t anticipate allowing me to have any type of orgasm.

Posted in sexuality, Sexuality & Relationships | Tagged , | 2 Comments

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum


Back in 2011, a few hardy bloggers and chastity fans, after seeing a new chastity/OD oriented web forum overrun with spammers and trolls, set up their own too-obviously named Chastity Forum with the intention of providing a place for the (mainly) vanilla-inclined people to discuss chastity, devices, techniques, etc., without the distraction of a lot of other BDSM and related interests. Initiated by Thumper, the forum remained small, but friendly.

A couple of years ago, the forum was hit with some malware that caused search redirects, and while we were able to remove the malware, a few background issues, including a lack of time kept us from getting under the hood and upgrading the works from the paleolithic coding.

Enter Schnoff. Realizing that it was still a great resource, Schnoff managed to move the forum to a new server, upgrade the ancient PHPbb software, and add a few features – all within a week or so. We’ve been testing things out, and it doesn’t appear that we’ve lost anything in the transition.

So, for those of you who stopped visiting, please feel free to check it out again, if only to give some props to Schoff for his hard work.

Also, for those of you so inclined, you might want to check out the Discord channel created by Chastity Forum member TeaseMe. It’s small, but growing, and if you have spent any time on the forums, you’ll probably run into some familiar names.


Mrs Edge said something very similar to this the other day. It was, umm… kind of hot.

Actually, what she said was “I don’t really care how long you’ve been caged. I never even think about it anymore.”

Posted in CB3000, CB6000, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, orgasm control, orgasm denial | Leave a comment

Road Warrior


I know the topic comes up a lot, especially on chastity related forums, so here’s something of interest for those of you who enjoy bicycling.

Cyclists go through saddles like crazy, trying to find one that has a decent fit and doesn’t leave your ass or man bits going numb after a few hours. I happened to stumble across the Selle SMP TRK saddle at a local bike shop, and for the last couple of years have really appreciated the thought that had gone into the design. It looks a little funny because it’s a split saddle (that is, it’s open in the center) and the nose dips down like an eagle beak. The combination of those two features made me wonder if this saddle would allow cycling with a device.

I finally got a chance to try it out last week. The answer is, yes – with some qualifications.

Note that I am a road cyclist, but I tend to ride on the hoods or up on the bars, and not hunched over in the drops (I’m not 24 anymore, if you get my drift). I wore normal Lycra shorts with nothing underneath (for those of you who didn’t know, this is normal. Think about it the next time you’re standing next to a Middle Aged Man in Lycra.), and applied a liberal amount of Gold Bond lotion around the ring. After I clipped in, I sat up, and found I had to move/twist the cage slightly more to the side than I would in snug jeans, but once I got going along it was fine. In fact, after the first few miles, I forgot I had it on, and kept going at a nice pace. Since it was my first ride of the season, I was just warming up, and kept to the flatter roads (well, what passes for flat in central Connecticut).

At some point I stopped for a drink, and switched the cage to the other side of my seam. I had a couple of minor pulls that I attributed to hairs getting caught. About 10 or 12 miles out I did notice that things were a little out of place (it gets hot in those shorts), but a quick stop to readjust set everything right again. I finished the 15 mile ride with no chafing, redness, pinching, or any other problem.

Again, this was a shorter ride for me, with no steep climbs. I maybe averaged 13-14 mph, and didn’t do anything unusual. The lotion held up pretty well, and I should mention that I’m in the A272, which has a flat profile on the cuff ring, so I’m not sure what difference a round ring would make, but I suspect less friction.

I’m not sure if I would try a 50 mile ride, although I’ll try a longer ride soon just to see how things hold up. However, for those of you who typically ride a more upright bike along the bike trails, then the TRK might be the saddle that works for you. Hell, even if you’re *not* thinking about riding in a device, it’s still a very good, well made, and comfortable saddle.


From the sound of things, her partner should probably be thinking about upgrading his bike saddle, as well.

Posted in Sexuality & Relationships | 1 Comment