SoSS 23 is out


SoSS 23

SoSS 23

Hope everyone is taking care of yourselves and each other–and here are some things to distract in a fun way.

Sexy Images

SinfulSunday

💋 If you insist… by Muse Of course–there is nothing else you can do. (Twitter: @MuseDreamer99)

SinfulSunday — good-bye 61 by Eye Beautiful birthday shot–happy birthday! (Twitter: @_Masterseye)

Tantalising Ass by depressedqueerdo Love the sheer skirt and attitude! (Twitter: @ComedyHarley)

Wavelength by MariaSibylla The lines and b&w make this stunning! (Twitter: @MSM1647)

Sexy Writing

SB4MH – Social Anxiety by Sweeten Dirty Nervous was always my word too before anxiety. And love the goodbyes. (Twitter: @Sweeten_Dirty)

Hot Lips by Cara Thereon This was so much fun to read! (Twitter: @thereon_cara)

“Do you miss being able to make choices about your orgasms?” by Tom Allen He is always one of my favorites when he writes and I really liked reading about their trip into chastity. (Twitter: @taomlin)

Wounded Knee Part Two ~ Meniscus Tear by May More Being another person who opted out of surgery (herniated disc), I was impressed by your strength and initiative to get through it. (Twitter: @May_Matters)

Perseverance for Pain #WickedWednesday by Victoria Blisse This is so beautiful–and so accurate, at least for Snake. (Twitter: @victoriablisse)

[Erotica] Sometime Around Midnight by Floss There are definitely times when we do need to just hide away and be together–love this. (Twitter: @_floss_84)

#119 Mutual Masturbation by Amy and Mike Super sexy idea! (Twitter: @RealFucketList)

Top SteeledSnake Post of the Week

Modeling 101 by Charmer (Twitter: @SteelChrmr)

Posted in Sexuality & Relationships | 1 Comment

“Do you miss being able to make choices about your orgasms?”


This is from a twitter thread I recently had, and thought some people might find it useful or interesting or something.

This thread is for @MidlifeKink as a result of a poll from @thumperMN . Because I’ve spent a long time in #male #chastity and #orgasm #denial, she wondered if I missed being able to make choices about my own orgasms.

It’s complicated. Back when we were dating, I was def more switchy, and just enjoyed some BDSMy kinds of things. Mrs Edge def did not like being restrained, etc., but she did like having the control, so I learned to enjoy that.

Over time, I became disappointed that she really didn’t have any interest in doing those fun little things (handcuffs, blindfolds, tie downs, etc.). It was confusing because on the rare occasions, she seemed to enjoy it, but not enough to do it again.

We hit a period where it affected even our vanilla sex life. In reconciling, she mentioned offhand that the only thing she found exciting were some of the home built cock cages that I had made. The idea of having the final say was exciting to her.

I showed her a picture of the CB3000, and she said “You have got to get one of those!” As it happened, I had already bought one a couple of months previously to experiment with. She demanded that I get the keys and put it on for her.

That started a period of us (but mostly her) experimenting with what she felt comfortable with. Took a few years, but turned out that what she liked was really, really long lockups. Weeks. Months. More months.

She grew very comfortable with me wearing a harness and dildo (Terra Firma with a Vixskin Tex, since people will ask), and eventually decided that she did not feel guilty in denying my orgasms. So, at some point, this became the “new normal” in our marriage.

On my end, it was… different. Denial was not my kink of choice, but since it seemed to be the *only* kink that Mrs Edge was comfortable with, I decided to go with it. I tried a few different cages, but my modded CB3000 was the most comfortable.

Over time, I grew to appreciate, and then enjoy the constant, warm, low-level simmer of erotic orgasm denial. It felt like I was on the verge of boiling over all the time. On one hand, I wanted to come, but on the other, I didn’t want to lose the warm internal glow.

We played at this on and off for years, and each time, having her lock on the cage made me feel energized. We would tease each other about making it permanent, which would only drive her into longer and longer lockup periods. And I began to look forward to them.

Almost every time, those periods would end when a plastic piece of a cage broke. I finally tried some of those inexpensive Chinese ones, with an eye to getting a custom one made. I stumbled across one called the A272, which turned out to be the most comfortable and convenient.

So then I was in a cage that was, essentially, unbreakable. The teasing about “making it permanent” took on a note of reality that was missing with the plastic cages.

My birthday, anniversary, Xmas, NYE, and other holidays passed, and became a full year.

Mrs Edge, who had once said that she had considered giving me an orgasm after a year, said that she was fine to keep going.

I was still enjoying the simmer (yes, even after 20 years). Our intimate life was the best it had been in years.

I agreed to keep going.

So, now it’s another year passed. I have not lost the desire for an orgasm. I wake up almost every day wanting one.

But I’ve come to realize that it’s the desire to have an orgasm that fuels the warm, simmer that I have. If I had no desire, there would be no ache.

Along the same lines, if I could make that decision at any time to have one, then I’d probably choose to have one frequently, or at least sometimes. So I’ve also come to realize that not having a choice also fuels the simmer. With a choice, there’s no frustration.

So, do I miss being able to make choices about having them? At times I do, but I also understand that not having the choice (unless I decide to stop playing) is what makes things hot overall for me, and for Mrs Edge.

Mrs Edge has gotten to a point where she thinks that she really would like this to go on forever, and that she would be disappointed if I wanted to stop. Since my abdicating choice to her is part of what makes things hot for the both of us, I can live with this.

I miss not being able to make the choice *in the moment,* but when I step back for the bigger picture, I’m content in not being able to.

This was a long thread to get to that last paragraph, wasn’t it?

For those of you who are on Twitter, the thread and interspersed comments and replies can be found here:
https://twitter.com/taomlin/status/1227984221353975808


Mrs Edge says that I shouldn’t worry, since I’m going to be locked up permanently anyhow.

Posted in A272, chastity, Chastity Devices, male chastity | 5 Comments

The Chastity / Denial Matrix


Over the years, I keep getting sucked into discussions in which some person asks a question about “permanent” chastity, and the thread devolves into a mess in which most of the responses are about defining “permanent” and then arguing about whether someone’s ideas meet some arbitrary standards. The original question ends up being completely overlooked.

This is something that I’ve been thinking about for a while, but only recently had the light bulb blink on.

We all “know” what the term “permanent” means. Unfortunately, none of us can agree on it.

Because the conversation come up several times a month, and because everybody has their own variation on the definitions, I’m going to propose a matrix, similar to those political or religious ideology matrices that you see all over social media.

For you geeks, I’ve defined the two variables as: Chastity (i.e., the wearing of a device) and Denial (i.e., the allowing of orgasms). This is because whenever we discuss it, the two are inevitably intertwined, which is one of the reasons why we can’t seem to agree on the terms, or we spend so much time explaining our own definitions.

The matrix is set with the variables on the Chastity scale from Never Caged to Always Caged, and on the Denial scale from Always/Often Allowed Orgasm to Never Allowed Orgasm.

I’m attaching a picture for clarity.

Chastity / Denial

 

Defining the Chastity Caged (x) axis:
(There’s going to be some subjectivity to this, which is fine.)

0: Obviously, never locked, perhaps not even owning a device.
1: Has a device, worn sometimes for play.
2: Wears the device for extended play (a weekend, a week, maybe, once in a while).
3: Wears it for extended play fairly frequently
4: Wears it frequently, maybe several days a week, or maybe a week or two at a time.
5: Wears it roughly half the time.
6: Wears it more often than not, with frequent removal.
7: Wears it pretty much all the time, but unlocked for certain occasions or situations.
8: Always worn, with infrequent removal (medical, travel, etc.)
9: Always worn, including travel, and their doctor has seen it.
10: Essentially permanently installed.

Defining the Denial (y) axis:
(Again, assuming that there will be some subjective evaluations)

0: Always allowed to have an orgasm, perhaps frequently. Denial isn’t even in the vocabulary here.
1: Almost always will get an orgasm.
2: Orgasm rarely denied
3: Usually gets to come, although there might be a surprise ruin in there.
4: Orgasms may not be guaranteed, or possibly used as a reward.
5: Orgasms maybe half the time, perhaps ruined.
6: Orgasms are usually denied.
7: Rarely allowed orgasm, although possible ruins/milkings allowed.
8: Orgasms not allowed, although may have accidental ruins or emissions.
9: Orgasms not allowed, ruins not allowed, may possibly have accidents.
10: Orgasms and emissions never allowed.

For example, in my own situation, I’m locked up except for travel, medical, and similar reasons. I remove the device about once a month for a good scrubbing, and it goes back on That puts my Chastity score at about 8. Likewise, Mrs Edge no longer allows me to have an orgasm, but once in a while I’ll have an emission of some kind in the cage – and I suspect she intentionally pushes my buttons to trigger them. So, on the Denial score, again, that’s about an 8. This means that when I’m describing how our relationship goes, 8,8 is a good shorthand description in the context of having a discussion about long term or permanent.

Some guys use the term “Permanent” to mean that they are always locked up, although they are frequently unlocked for playtime. Those guys could quickly describe their situation as, for example, 4,7, or 6, 8. Really hardcore players might be 9,9 or higher.

A few notes:

I floated this idea a while back, refined it, and recently floated it again. The scales are based on feedback from users at The Chastity Forums and Chastity Mansion, and a few other places.

Since we have so many geeks in this community, I tried to keep to the convention of using an (x,y) scale, and labeling it alphabetically (chastity, denial) to make it easier to remember. I suppose people could also label themselves C8, D8.

Notice that I started off talking about permanent chastity, but I’m not even using the term in the scale. I discovered that there’s really no way to use the term objectively that won’t cause disagreement. Instead, the scale now becomes an easy way to describe one’s state of access and denial. By getting rid of the word Permanent, we toss out the baggage and various connotations. attached to the word.

Finally, I fully expect that there will be someone who will claim that this scale isn’t enough for them, and that their idea of “permanent chastity” goes up to 11.


Mrs Edge says that the’s pretty sure she mentioned that part when she dropped me off at the clinic.

 

Posted in chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, male chastity, orgasm control, orgasm denial, Sexuality & Relationships | Tagged , , , | 22 Comments

Indefinite Numbers


I can’t remember my last orgasm.

There’s a certain irony to this — cruel or amusing, depending upon your mindset — because as most of us know, chastity is a game of numbers. Nobody presents this as well as Thumper, who has some of the most analytical charts and graphs that one could imagine. But a visit to any chastity related web group shows that many, many of the posts are all about “I’ve only had x orgasms in y [time period].”  Guys constantly talk about trying to hit some milestone (“My first time locked up for a week/month/30/60/90 days.”), or they try to beat their previous record.

I’ve written somewhere that the most cruel thing that you can do is to lock a guy on January 1, and then unlock him on December 27th, and force him to have an orgasm just a few days shy of that daunting one year mark.

Anyhow, I’ve been thinking about this lately because Mrs Edge and I seem to have unintentionally wandered down the “permanent chastity” road, and…

Okay, yes, there’s some ambiguity about how people use the term “permanent.” In our case, “permanent” means that the device never comes off, except for travel or medical reasons, and that I will never be allowed to have an orgasm, or at least, an uncaged orgasm, full, ruined, or otherwise (we can’t help those involuntary releases that I still seem to get in the cage). And since Mrs Edge enjoys her PIV, all of our intercourse (which we’re having much more frequently, for some reason) is with my “replacement” cock, our Vixskin Tex (formerly sold as the Boitoi).

So. As I was saying, we didn’t intentionally set out to do this, we just sort of… ended up here because we were having such a good time doing what we were doing. And as a result, it’s looking as if my last orgasm, as the joke goes, may well actually be my last orgasm.

And I can’t remember when it was or anything about it.


Mrs Edge says that she wants me to take a few years to think about it. More captions at: http://Mrs-Edge-Says.tumblr.com

Posted in A272, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, male chastity, orgasm denial, permanent chastity, permanent denial, Sexuality & Relationships | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

Moms Before MILFs


I’m not much for watching videos, but I found this amusing:

You Won’t Be Able To Watch MILF Clips On Xhamster On Mother’s Day.

In a Mother’s Day stunt called #MomsBeforeMILFs, porn site xHamster on Sunday will block off the videos in the adult video world’s most popular category—MILF clips—and instead show users a pop-up alert saying, ““It’s Mother’s Day! Go call your mom, ok? MILFs can wait.”

This is just a hilarious way to connect with our users and surprise them when they least expect it,” says Alex Hawkins, vp of xHamster. “It’s so contradictory for an adult site to promote this message on Mother’s Day, and we are sure our users will love it as much as we do.”

The idea was developed by a creative collective led by Spanish ad veteran Pancho Cassis, the former LOLA MullenLowe executive creative director who was named to Adweek’s Creative 100 in 2018 and is known for attention-grabbing campaigns like Burger King’s Scary Clown Night. Cassis recently left the agency and has not yet formally announced his next role or business, though the xHamster campaign hints that he’s certainly going to keep producing eye-opening campaigns.


I don’t know if Danica Collins is a mother, but that doesn’t stop me from having a crush on her.

Posted in Chastity & Orgasm Denial, male chastity, Older Women, orgasm denial, replaced, Sexuality & Relationships, Strap-on | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Recouping the investment


I was one of the few people who didn’t freak over the Tumblr Panic of December 2018. I had the main one, The Edge of Vanilla (which I found amusing to turn into The Reds of Vanilla, in which every post had something red in it).

Also on the list was Tiresome Tropes, which featured snarky commentary on stereotypical tropes used in Femdom porn, and then a few others that featured various degrees of explicitness and kink.

After the Tumblr Panic, I switched to just reblogging tame, SFW-ish captioned pictures, and just allowed the other blogs under my account to run out their queues. That’s why I was surprised to see this morning that my entire account (along with half a dozen other blogs) have been terminated. Tumblr has not yet given me a reason, but after my initial ten minutes of annoyance, I stopped caring.

The most annoying thing is that I had a queue & draft cache of a lot of captioned, recaptioned, and originally captioned pics that I wouldn’t have minded saving, but hey, it’s not like it was the library at Alexandria.

A lot of people have moved over to NewTumbl.com, and BDSMLR.com, but ironically enough, I find them to be *too* BDSM-ish; every picture that runs across my dash is pretty explicit. Plus, the diaspora haven’t quite settled and set up shop yet, and both platforms, while visually resembling Tumblr, have not yet made the jump to an easy mobile browsing experience – at least, not for posting, queueing, etc.

If I can get my act together, maybe I’ll start posting the non-explicit captioned pics here, since WordPress seems to have stabilized, and has a decent mobile app. I suppose I could create yet another email account and open up yet another Tumblr just to reblog the ones that show up here.

Or maybe I’ll just indulge in some friendly cultural appropriation this weekend, and have a pitcher of Margaritas on Sunday, and wait until the next Tumblr appears.

EDIT: Apparently I’m reinstated; one of my reblogs from the queue contained a link to some possible spam site. I guess it’s time to save all the content and move it elsewhere.

1556887236067

Mrs Edge says that it could take a very, very long time to recoup our investment.

Posted in chastity, male chastity, permanent chastity, permanent denial, replaced, Sexuality & Relationships, strapon, strict chastity | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Temporarily Permanent


A few weeks ago on Tumblr or maybe Fetlife, I ran across the sentence “I’m in permanent chastity for the rest of the month.” Putting aside the source for the moment, the sentence was one of those syntactical jumbles that, while grammatically correct, fails on the technical aspects – not unlike “Hey, toss me that refrigerator,” or “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.”

When we get to the point where “permanent” is a few weeks, then maybe we need a new lexicon.

Naturally, I understand that there are nuances in usage, and we often need clarification when we discuss this. When someone says that they are in “permanent chastity,” both the dick-measurers and the curious newbs ask what the person actually means, and from the answers that I’ve seen over the years, it almost never means “I have a device locked on my todger that never, ever comes off.” Generally, the situation is more like “I’m locked up 24/7, except for occasional cleaning and hygiene breaks,” but sometimes it means “I’m locked up until my partner wants to play,” which may be weekly, monthly, or randomly.

From those responses, the newbs are usually impressed (“Wow, the longest I’ve been locked up is 12 days!”), while the dick-measurers often jump in to the effect that they measure “permanent” in some completely different (and inherently better, sniff, sniff) way. (“Wash breaks? I have an open cage so it doesn’t need to come off for that.”).

To make things even more confusing, some people confound “chastity” with “denial.” (“Your domme allows you to have an orgasm every month? That’s not permanent enough – I haven’t had one in three years.”). Sometimes you see guys wondering if ruined orgasms “count,” (“How ruined was it?”). And where do those people who abstain without a device fall into this matrix?

I don’t actually have an answer, but I will note that the “chastity community” (such as it is) has existed for at least fifteen years in various online forums, and I’m amazed that there now seems to be less agreement or understanding of the terms than ever. I’m suggesting that, when you consider the proliferation of inexpensive devices, and how they are making their way into the mainstream kink world, maybe it’s time that we come up with a more consistent syntax or usage for the terms that we toss around; the lack of foundation is why start seeing statements like “I’ll be in permanent chastity all month.”

Again, I want to stress that I’m aware that there are nuances to how we use these terms.

We live in the real world (well, most of us) and there are practical limitations to what we can/will or can’t/won’t do. For example, while I’m aware that *in theory* I can wear my device on an airplane, in practice I really do not want the potential hassle of that one TSA (or foreign equivalent) agent not knowing what the hell that hunk of metal in my pants is doing there (or in my luggage), so I’ve traveled sans device, and carried along a plastic CB3000 to put on after we hit the destination.

Likewise, both Mrs Edge and I like the ridiculously named A272. It’s a solid tube device, and in the interests of hygiene, etc., it’s going to come off at least once a month for a couple minutes in the shower, where I can have a thorough cleaning of both my tonker and the inside of the tube. Over the past year, it has come off for a few doctor’s visits, a couple of routine medical procedures, a few long distance bike rides, and (at her insistence), for a few hours when I was doing something potentially dangerous and of questionable legality (she didn’t want any issues with an EMT needing to cut through the metal if something went awry). In other words, you could measure the time I’ve been unlocked over the past year in hours.

I know that a lot of you are in similar circumstances. You’ve been wearing a device for months, or even years. You have few, possibly random, or maybe even no orgasms, and you’re probably going to be locked up for a good portion of the rest of your lives. The term “permanent” here is not used in the literal sense, but is poetic, figurative, evocative. It conveys an idea of what your situation is. And I’m not suggesting that you stop using the term in such a fashion.

That said, however…

When we use a term in a figurative sense, without having a foundation for what the literal circumstances would be, we help set the tone for people to use it in less and less literal ways. I mean, sure, for many of us, the fantasy of “permanent” is kind of hot. But the community – really, a very disjointed bunch of people who have widely varying perspectives on chastity devices and orgasm denial – is actually communicating with each other (never mind to outsiders) very poorly, and it won’t be long before we finally arrive at statements like “I’ll be in permanent chastity for the entire weekend.”

 


Mrs Edge hasn’t used the word “permanent” yet. However, she does say “never” quite often…

 

Posted in A272, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Chastity Devices, male chastity, permanent, permanent chastity, permanent denial, Sexuality & Relationships | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

Shrinkage: Chastity is the least of your concerns.


Good news for all of you men who are so concerned that wearing a chastity device will shrink your tonker: As it turns out, it’s going to shrink anyway, and a device is probably the least of your concerns:

WILLY WORRYING Your penis can SHRINK… how exercise and smoking can wither your manhood by up to an inch

Some highlights from the article:

But no matter where your member sits on the scale, there are a few factors that can cause it to drop a few sizes.
1. Exercise
Turns out working out might help you bulk up in all areas but below the belt.
2. Weight gain
So while killing it at the gym will result in your manhood shrinking temporarily, letting the pounds pile on and on is much more damaging to your dangle.
3. Smoking
We all know smoking is bad for us, increasing the risk of cancer, heart disease and other killer conditions.
4. Ageing
Ageing is hard enough to swallow. But to add insult to injury, a man’s advancing years will prove dire for his length down there.
5. Medication
All medication comes with unwanted side effects, but some measure up worse than others.
6. Prostate surgery
On the subject of prostates, men who have had surgery to remove the gland due to cancer may experience a loss of size.
7. Peyronie’s disease
Some men experience a condition called Peyronie’s disease, which causes the penis to become curved when it is erect.

I don’t think a day goes by in which I haven’t spotted something about chastity and penis shrinkage. I’m not going to rehash the information, but a penis is not a muscle. What you’ve been given is pretty much it, so barring surgery to make it (slightly) bigger, it’s going to get slightly smaller with age, poor health, and weight gain.

Is it reversible?
Fear not, despite all the bad news, there is a ray of light at the end of the tunnel.

Penis shrinkage is reversible, but in some cases it may be harder than others.

The quick fixes are quitting smoking and losing weight.

There’s a little more information in the article, but you  know how UK tabloids are:

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/4001307/your-penis-can-shrink-how-exercise-and-smoking-can-wither-your-manhood-by-up-to-an-inch/


Of course, while some men are worried that chastity will shrink things, some women won’t be the least be concerned.

Mrs Edge says that the strapon is like an upgrade. She doesn’t have to worry about a thing.

Posted in chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, male chastity, Sex Education, Sex news, Sexuality & Aging | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment