Temporarily Permanent


A few weeks ago on Tumblr or maybe Fetlife, I ran across the sentence “I’m in permanent chastity for the rest of the month.” Putting aside the source for the moment, the sentence was one of those syntactical jumbles that, while grammatically correct, fails on the technical aspects – not unlike “Hey, toss me that refrigerator,” or “Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.”

When we get to the point where “permanent” is a few weeks, then maybe we need a new lexicon.

Naturally, I understand that there are nuances in usage, and we often need clarification when we discuss this. When someone says that they are in “permanent chastity,” both the dick-measurers and the curious newbs ask what the person actually means, and from the answers that I’ve seen over the years, it almost never means “I have a device locked on my todger that never, ever comes off.” Generally, the situation is more like “I’m locked up 24/7, except for occasional cleaning and hygiene breaks,” but sometimes it means “I’m locked up until my partner wants to play,” which may be weekly, monthly, or randomly.

From those responses, the newbs are usually impressed (“Wow, the longest I’ve been locked up is 12 days!”), while the dick-measurers often jump in to the effect that they measure “permanent” in some completely different (and inherently better, sniff, sniff) way. (“Wash breaks? I have an open cage so it doesn’t need to come off for that.”).

To make things even more confusing, some people confound “chastity” with “denial.” (“Your domme allows you to have an orgasm every month? That’s not permanent enough – I haven’t had one in three years.”). Sometimes you see guys wondering if ruined orgasms “count,” (“How ruined was it?”). And where do those people who abstain without a device fall into this matrix?

I don’t actually have an answer, but I will note that the “chastity community” (such as it is) has existed for at least fifteen years in various online forums, and I’m amazed that there now seems to be less agreement or understanding of the terms than ever. I’m suggesting that, when you consider the proliferation of inexpensive devices, and how they are making their way into the mainstream kink world, maybe it’s time that we come up with a more consistent syntax or usage for the terms that we toss around; the lack of foundation is why start seeing statements like “I’ll be in permanent chastity all month.”

Again, I want to stress that I’m aware that there are nuances to how we use these terms.

We live in the real world (well, most of us) and there are practical limitations to what we can/will or can’t/won’t do. For example, while I’m aware that *in theory* I can wear my device on an airplane, in practice I really do not want the potential hassle of that one TSA (or foreign equivalent) agent not knowing what the hell that hunk of metal in my pants is doing there (or in my luggage), so I’ve traveled sans device, and carried along a plastic CB3000 to put on after we hit the destination.

Likewise, both Mrs Edge and I like the ridiculously named A272. It’s a solid tube device, and in the interests of hygiene, etc., it’s going to come off at least once a month for a couple minutes in the shower, where I can have a thorough cleaning of both my tonker and the inside of the tube. Over the past year, it has come off for a few doctor’s visits, a couple of routine medical procedures, a few long distance bike rides, and (at her insistence), for a few hours when I was doing something potentially dangerous and of questionable legality (she didn’t want any issues with an EMT needing to cut through the metal if something went awry). In other words, you could measure the time I’ve been unlocked over the past year in hours.

I know that a lot of you are in similar circumstances. You’ve been wearing a device for months, or even years. You have few, possibly random, or maybe even no orgasms, and you’re probably going to be locked up for a good portion of the rest of your lives. The term “permanent” here is not used in the literal sense, but is poetic, figurative, evocative. It conveys an idea of what your situation is. And I’m not suggesting that you stop using the term in such a fashion.

That said, however…

When we use a term in a figurative sense, without having a foundation for what the literal circumstances would be, we help set the tone for people to use it in less and less literal ways. I mean, sure, for many of us, the fantasy of “permanent” is kind of hot. But the community – really, a very disjointed bunch of people who have widely varying perspectives on chastity devices and orgasm denial – is actually communicating with each other (never mind to outsiders) very poorly, and it won’t be long before we finally arrive at statements like “I’ll be in permanent chastity for the entire weekend.”

 


Mrs Edge hasn’t used the word “permanent” yet. However, she does say “never” quite often…

 

Posted in A272, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Chastity Devices, male chastity, permanent, permanent chastity, permanent denial, Sexuality & Relationships | Tagged , , | 3 Comments

Shrinkage: Chastity is the least of your concerns.


Good news for all of you men who are so concerned that wearing a chastity device will shrink your tonker: As it turns out, it’s going to shrink anyway, and a device is probably the least of your concerns:

WILLY WORRYING Your penis can SHRINK… how exercise and smoking can wither your manhood by up to an inch

Some highlights from the article:

But no matter where your member sits on the scale, there are a few factors that can cause it to drop a few sizes.
1. Exercise
Turns out working out might help you bulk up in all areas but below the belt.
2. Weight gain
So while killing it at the gym will result in your manhood shrinking temporarily, letting the pounds pile on and on is much more damaging to your dangle.
3. Smoking
We all know smoking is bad for us, increasing the risk of cancer, heart disease and other killer conditions.
4. Ageing
Ageing is hard enough to swallow. But to add insult to injury, a man’s advancing years will prove dire for his length down there.
5. Medication
All medication comes with unwanted side effects, but some measure up worse than others.
6. Prostate surgery
On the subject of prostates, men who have had surgery to remove the gland due to cancer may experience a loss of size.
7. Peyronie’s disease
Some men experience a condition called Peyronie’s disease, which causes the penis to become curved when it is erect.

I don’t think a day goes by in which I haven’t spotted something about chastity and penis shrinkage. I’m not going to rehash the information, but a penis is not a muscle. What you’ve been given is pretty much it, so barring surgery to make it (slightly) bigger, it’s going to get slightly smaller with age, poor health, and weight gain.

Is it reversible?
Fear not, despite all the bad news, there is a ray of light at the end of the tunnel.

Penis shrinkage is reversible, but in some cases it may be harder than others.

The quick fixes are quitting smoking and losing weight.

There’s a little more information in the article, but you  know how UK tabloids are:

https://www.thescottishsun.co.uk/news/4001307/your-penis-can-shrink-how-exercise-and-smoking-can-wither-your-manhood-by-up-to-an-inch/


Of course, while some men are worried that chastity will shrink things, some women won’t be the least be concerned.

Mrs Edge says that the strapon is like an upgrade. She doesn’t have to worry about a thing.

Posted in chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, male chastity, Sex Education, Sex news, Sexuality & Aging | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

More chastity in the mainstream?


So, Fark.com, the source for news of the weird and strange, had this little tidbit from the Lockpicking Lawyer’s YouTube channel:

[835] Chastity Cage Picked With a Condom Wrapper (Happy Valentines Day!)

Yes, it’s exactly what it says. The video is pretty bare bones, but that’s not the point. The point is that the video is going to be circulating, and checked out by the normies. That means more awareness, although not necessarily more acceptance.

Anyhow, here’s the link. Go have fun, kids.

It’s kind of strange that I’m still wearing my A272 cage in my dreams.


 

Posted in A272, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Chastity Devices, Mainstream Chastity, male chastity | Tagged | 2 Comments

Summer Penis Has Come and Gone. Gird Your Loins for Winter Penis


It’s closing on on winter here in New England, and that means cold weather. And with the cold weather, that means that those of us who wear devices have to deal with a new set of adjustments. The equipment that was hanging comfortably in your jeans or khakis is now feeling much more snug, or even uncomfortably tight as that lose skin and other wabbly bits now tries to retract into your body.

The whole “shrinkage” thing was a 1990s Seinfeld joke, but recently some researchers have started to, uhh, examine it more closely.

From:  Summer Penis Has Come and Gone. Gird Your Loins for Winter Penis

Writing at Metro U.K., Ellen Scott informs us that as the weather gets colder, the penis has a reaction to the cold, according to sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight. “The blood vessels in the penis shut down because of the cold temperature,” Knight tells her.

“Men can expect their penis to shrivel by up to 50 percent in length and 20 to 30 percent in girth when the weather gets chilly.”And as for why, well, that’s just science: “The body is programmed to preserve heat and energy,” Knight continues. “So in the cold, it funnels its resources into maintaining blood flow to the middle of your body, where your vital organs are. But in order to do that, your body has to reduce blood flow to your appendages — your fingers, toes and your penis. The testicles also retract and rise closer to the rest of the body so they can also stay warm.”All this leads to greater desensitization, which means it could also be harder to get hard, and harder to get off. “Men can take longer to orgasm when they are cold,” Knight says.

Uh, isn’t this just shrinkage? Which we already knew was real?In a sense, yes. Assuming we take all this at penis face value, it makes logical sense: In the same way summer penis makes your dick look and feel bigger, winter penis would make your dick and balls look and feel smaller, because baby it’s cold outside. “Not a big deal,” Scott writes, “but worth being aware of.”

If this is all new to you, read more at Medium:

Summer Penis Has Come and Gone. Gird Your Loins for Winter Penis

Speaking of chastity devices:


Mrs Edge says that you don’t need a lock on something that will never be removed.

Posted in Chastity Devices, Sexuality & Relationships | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Tumblr will delete all porn from the platform | TechCrunch


I know the rumors come out every once in a while, but this time it seems to have been verified by Tumblr, itself.

On December 17, Tumblr will be banning porn, errr “adult content,” from its site and encouraging users to flag that content for removal. Existing adult content will be set to a “private mode” viewable only to the original poster.What does “adult content” even mean? Well, according to Tumblr, the ban means the removal of any media that depicts “real-life human genitals or female-presenting nipples, and any content—including photos, videos, GIFs and illustrations—that depicts sex acts.”

Source: Tumblr will delete all porn from the platform | TechCrunch

To be fair, they won’t totally delete NSFW pictures – they will set them to “private.”  This gives you a little more time to find another place to rehost them.

I’ve collected a lot of pictures, captioned pics, and other erotica in the eight or ten years I’ve been a user. I’m really not looking forward to moving things. On the other hand, maybe it’s a good time to start going through the collection again.


Posted in Sexuality & Relationships, Tumblr | 1 Comment

Bad sex award 2018: the contenders in quotes | Books | The Guardian


“Empty my tanks,” I’d begged breathlessly, as once more she began drawing me deep inside her pleasure cave. Her vaginal ratchet moved in concertina-like waves, slowly chugging my organ as a boa constrictor swallows its prey. Soon I was locked in, balls deep, ready to be ground down by the enamelled pepper mill within her.

From: “Scoundrels: The Hunt for Hansclapp” by Major Victor Cornwall and Major Arthur St John Trevelyan
More examples to be found here:

Extravagant metaphors are indecently exposed in the shortlist for the Literary Review’s annual showcase of ‘outstandingly bad’ erotic writing

Source: Bad sex award 2018: the contenders in quotes | Books | The Guardian


Speaking of which, Mrs Edge tells me that I won’t be emptying my tanks for a very long time.

Mrs Edge used to tell me this a lot. Now she just assumes that I already know it.

Posted in Erotica, Sexuality & Relationships, writing | Tagged , | 4 Comments

Back to the Future


I’ve spent most of 2018 locked in a chastity device. My time out can literally be measured in hours: a few doctors visits and a few long distance bike rides were the only times when Mrs Edge had me remove it… until, ironically enough, LOctober, in which we did a bit of international traveling,

“So, what are we going to do about that?” she asked me a few days before we had to leave.  Valuing my privacy, and knowing that we were going to be around a lot of family, I was hesitant to even pack the A272 in the luggage; I really didn’t want to have to face some European authorities to explain all the stainless steel. Fortunately, I had already given this some thought.

“Well, you could let me just run wild and free, and give me a lot of hand jobs for the next couple of weeks.”

Apparently that was the wrong answer. So, on to Plan B:

“Well, I suppose I can dust off the old plastic cage,” I told her. That ended up being a more acceptable alternative, so I dug into the back of the closet and pulled out my old CB3000.

[ Voiceover narration]

Back in the old days, before cheap Chinese devices, Mature Metal, Steelwerks, Steelworks, and various other resellers and manufacturers, there was the Miller Enterprises (now rebranded as CB-X) and their line of plastic devices, the CB2000, and the well-intentioned, but horribly executed The Curve. In the early to mid 2000s, they introduced the CB3000, an ergonomically designed device that did not look like a mish-mash of plumbing parts. The cage itself was a work of art: it was, essentially, a penis shaped spaceship. Naturally, it was so far beyond what many of us had imagined and had worked up in our garage or basement workshops, that we had to buy them.

Those old-timers who remember the early days can attest that while the device looked cool, there were issues. The hinged cuff ring pinched or chafed, both at the hinge and at the section that closed. The hinge, itself, was a nickel plated brass rivet. The riveting process often cracked the hinge, and a lot of people reported skin irritation because of the rivet. And the two piece, sonically welded construction often split at the seam, and usually catching and pinching unsuspecting guys at the worst moments.

The older style CB3000 had the locking pins pointed toward the body, and you had to be smart enough to snip them off and sand the sharp edges. Chastity device discussion groups were filled with questions, complaints, tips, and tricks. Devices were often modified with epoxy in the holes, plastic tubing around the hinge, or other fixes to make them more suitable for longer-term wear.

[ / Voiceover narration]

The night before we left, I checked the package to make sure that I had the spacers, lock (and the key!), pins, etc., and put it in my luggage to be checked. I even separated some of the components, just in case. The next morning, Mrs Edge unlocked the stainless steel A272, I took a quick shower, and we headed for the airport.

[Scene fade out, then fades in to guy wrestling with a confusing array of plastic pieces]

Okay, here’s the thing. I wore the hell out of my CB3000s. Even when guys were moving on to the newer CB6000 and some of the steel devices, for me (and for Mrs Edge) the CB3000 was still a very wearable device. Of course, over the years I’d cut, epoxied, glued, soldered, and remade a lot of different pieces, so by the time we had taken a break from chastity, it was truly a custom device. I even managed to make The Fort (a clone in cast stainless steel) wearable.

The device I took with me was all plastic, with a hinged cuff ring that I had epoxied into a one-piece unit. It also had an aftermarket KSD3 (from the KeptForHer folks) because I found that it helped to anchor things in place. I hadn’t worn it in so long that it took a few minutes to remember how everything fit together; some pieces were a bit fiddly, which I found annoying. Mrs Edge clicked the lock shut, then I got dressed, and we were off for the day.

It was interesting to remember how bulky the device was. Yes, everyone new to the kink wonders if anyone is staring at the huge package in your pants; after a couple of years with the much lower profile A272, the old CB3000 felt like I was wearing some huge contraption. Since I’m an old pro, I managed to adapt, but despite the CB3000 being half the weight of the A272 (3 oz vs 6 oz), the bulkiness made it seem more noticeable, and I was definitely more aware of wearing it.

Since the CB3000 is pretty much a solid tube style, I had to make sure that I flushed it out carefully every night. The A272 allows me to work a little soapy water into the tube, something that was more difficult with the CB3000, in part because of how I had made the spacers and the KSD3 fit together.

Another point is that the CB3000 and CB6000 have an inside diameter of 1-3/8″ (35 mm). The A272 (and similar devices) are just under 1-5/16 (33mm). You wouldn’t think you’d notice the difference, but it felt huge after I first put it on.

I have this 4 point matrix for chastity devices: Comfort, Convenience, Security, and Sexiness. After a couple of weeks back in one of my original devices, even though it had always been one of my favorites, I now found that it wasn’t as impressive as it was fifteen years ago. And this is not to say that nobody should consider buying one now; it’s probably more to do with my experience as a consumer. Wearer. Whatever.

Interestingly, Mrs Edge had some positive reactions. For one, she still likes the clear plastic, and enjoys being able to see me all scrunched up inside. Even though she acknowledges that it was annoying to have the thing break; or rather, to have me spend hours working up repairs, she does prefer a more “natural look” over the shiny stainless steel.

The other thing she noticed was that during our nightly spooning, she preferred (or at least, missed) the bulkier CB3000, mainly because the penis/spaceship design made it more bonerish (wait, is that a word?), which in turn made it seem as if I was more aroused. In reality, the A272 only has a slightly lower and more curved profile, and without the bulk of the flange, and the spacers, pins, and lock. Over the years, Mrs Edge would occasionally complain about a stray poke with some part of the CB3000 (and similarly with the CB6000 and The Fort). There haven’t been any such complaints with the A272.

Anyhow, since I had already become accustomed to wearing a device, it wasn’t that much of a difference to re-adapt to wearing the CB3000; after a few days it was back to feeling natural. And before we caught the shuttle to the airport for the trip back, Mrs Edge removed the CB3000, I took a quick shower, and packed it into the luggage for the flight home. That night, I was safely re-ensconced in stainless steel, and my old CB3000 went into its box in the back of the closet again.

This hasn’t been so much a review, more of a look back. I don’t have any new insights from having worn it again, nor were there are surprises from going back to the A272. If anything, I was happy to get back to my stainless steel device, simply because that’s now what I prefer.

I remember when the CB3000 was the wave of the future, a molded mass-produced chastity device. It was nice to take it out for a little visit, but now I’m pretty glad that I don’t need to live there.


Mrs Edge has been getting a thrill from telling me this. I’m sure it’s just fantasy talk, right?

 

Posted in A272, CB3000, CB6000, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Chastity Devices, Mainstream Chastity, male chastity, orgasm denial, The Fort | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The problems with chastity


Apropos of the article last week, What spending two weeks in a chastity device taught me about my sexuality and my marriage, here’s one that I only ran across this week. It’s an especially insightful article, aimed at women/partners of guys who are locked up. I’m going to copy it here, with a link to the original, because I’ve been noticing a tendency for Tumblr blogs to disappear lately.


The benefits problems with chastity

If you are into male submission, it isn’t hard to find lists upon lists of the benefits of male chastity. As someone who loves the game of chastity there are some very serious side effects of chastity that some men experience that they don’t tell you about on those lists. Instead of a fun and kinky game, it can get dark and bitter FAST. This happens when chastity is done wrong.

I am here to help. What I say won’t apply to every situation or person. But if you as a keyholder (or someone with a keyholder) isn’t having fun with chastity then this might help you.

But first some highlights of these list of which I speak. Here are some common benefits I found when browsing through a dozen or so such lists (type Chastity Benefits or similar terms in your Tumblr search bar or your favorite search engine)

1. His desire for you will skyrocket
2. His libido doesn’t crash
3. Male masturbation is evil and this stops it
4. He’ll stay faithful to you
5. He’ll be more helpful around the house

etc, etc, etc

This is a sampling but you can easily find more. I will go through each of these examples and explain why I think they are flawed, and how to make it better. But before that I am going to let you in on the basis of every problem with chastity right now.

IGNORING HIM RUINS EVERYTHING

Yep. If you want chastity to work it means a lot more sex. A LOT more. But it isn’t the traditional type of sex. It is talking and tasks and receptive sex on his part. If as the keyholder (mental or physical keyholder, it makes no difference) chastity is some kind of sexual oubliette where you throw your partner and forget about them then you are begging for problems and pain. The benefits of chastity only happen when you replace what you have taken away from him, with something more enticing than orgasms. And remember, that for most guys, we are biologically wired to do almost anything to cum! Mother nature dedicates whole parts of the brain to sex and desire (for most all people) so you are working with some strong bio-magic. Be aware of what you are getting into. It has the power to raise sexual skyscrapers you didn’t know were possible but it can also ruin and destroy people and relationships. You know the phrase…. “With great power there must also come –  great responsibility”.

So on to how we make those benefits a reality.


5. This won’t happen with chastity. Period. If you lock up his dick and then expect him to just start doing more house work you are a fool. Taking away a joy in life isn’t going to make someone more helpful. And it is just an abuse of the kinky relationship. Kink is about fun, house work is about necessity; it is everyone’s work. If you don’t think your boy is pulling his share, or would like them to do more, then JUST SAY SOMETHING. It is that simple. You don’t bring kink into. If he doesn’t help when asked, a few grams of steel, or a mental command, isn’t going to change that. And if you don’t feel like asking every time, have a conversation where you explain your needs and wants and then work it out between you. Don’t expect kink to magically fix things if you can’t talk. The same holds true for getting flowers, cards, romantic dinners, etc. OPEN YOUR MOUTH.

Now, how to do it right.

If you are in a D/s relationship, which playing with chastity automatically makes it a D/s game, make it part of the fun. Be explicit about what you expect and why. And tell him often…. more than that…. even more than that… Yes, daily, hourly. You get the idea. And then give him reasons to do more chores that relate to chastity. Trade time out or release for the floor waxed. Or Don’t remember the dishes and it is a ruined orgasm for you. Or You gave up your manhood so now you do a woman’s job. Play with the power he has given you and tailor it to the way the two of you play. Examples?

Your boy into sissification? Great. That little thing has no place being out in the world were it could be mistaken for a man’s cock. Lock that shit up and go get your gurly ass dressed and in the kitchen where gurls belong. (Because dishes are more fun panties and heels.)

Your man’s a pain slut? Sit in a chair behind him with a single tail and give him a lick every sixty seconds until the dishes are done. If he drops one or doesn’t do it to your satisfaction, he starts all over again… with the strokes every thirty seconds.

Is he a service sub? When you get home, inspect every dish and point out how disappointed your with every mistake you find. Let him feel bad for failing you.

etc, etc, etc.

You get the idea. Whatever your style looks like, use it. But for the sake of all that is kinky, play with it! Don’t ignore it. Don’t make them wait in silence for a someday. Follow through on what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it. And if that is more than 48 hours away, your are doing it wrong (more on that in a bit). An inconsistent or forgetful dom is a bad dom. And bad doms make very bad subs.

Oh, and for those that have missed the earlier point on equality but immediately took the role-playing comment (woman’s work) as sexist … go away and quit messing up the fun for everyone else who gets it. Sexism is sexy (for most). That statement means, as an example, that we know that corsets where torturous devices that women were forced to wear at one time. Women died from wearing them! But today we love them because WE DON’T FORCE WOMEN TO WEAR THEM ANY MORE. We have taken the torturous and made it fun. We do that with physical pain. Ever spanked a … SLAVE? We do the same thing with emotionally painful topics. In fact, it is by playing with these outdated ideas, turning them on their heads, and making fun of them that we remove the power they once had to hurt. As I said above, house work is everyone’s work. Kink means that putting a cage on a man and making him do ‘women’s work’ is just fun because it is role-playing, not a forced reality.

4. If you believe that a small bit of metal and a lock that can be popped off with a screwdriver or small cutters is the only thing keeping a cheating man faithful to you then you are not just a fool, you are an idiot. Sorry to be harsh, but think about it. There are men who will throw away safety, power, wealth and even the lives of themselves and others just to fulfill one of our strong biological urges. If your man isn’t strong enough, or loves you enough, or respects you enough, or isn’t civilized enough to not fuck someone else without the consent and discussion of all parties involved then I promise you that your little cage isn’t going stop him. He is a jerk to start with, don’t play with him. Period.

Now, how to do it right.

Use your words. Make a role-playing game out of it. Talk to him, often (see above) about how you love the power over his orgasms he’s given up, or how you can play with others but as sub he can’t, or how as a sub he hasn’t earned the right to play a top role, or how he’s the bottom bitch now, etc. You know your man and what buttons to push to make him excited. Use it. And use it often. If he isn’t getting to play with his dick then you need to play with his head. And far more often than he ever played with his dick. Whatever you do, help him remember why he made a vow to you and why you are worth the chastity.

3. This is some amazingly anti sex thinking going on there. Listen to sex advice shows or read non-sex positive help books for couples and you will hear the lamination of the women (not being sexist, being Conan) over how awful his masturbation is. He does it many times a day and he doesn’t want to play with me and its like he’s cheating and… and… and… BULLSHIT. Masturbation is something most every higher animal does and most every person does unless there has been trauma. Emotional, physical, cultural or religious trauma but it takes some kind of trauma to make someone give up the benefits of masturbation. Male masturbation is not evil.

Now I will admit that like any activity, it can be over done or become all consuming. But that is a discussion of addiction and not one of kink. There is a difference. And if you can’t see the difference you need some education on what addiction is.

And I will also admit that there are those that chose masturbation over their partners but this is because of … trauma! If your bed has become so painful to be in, difficult to obtain, tricky to navigate, or he feels to shamed to join you, or random to the point of no longer being a realistic option then yeah, he might rub one out… often. But that isn’t because he prefers it. It is because it is ‘that’ or the relationship ends (going separate ways or it loses what it once was). He has needs that occur at a duration or time that you cannot or will not meet. And he has found a way to meet them that saves your relationship. This isn’t true in every case but it is in more cases than people want to admit. 😦

How to fix this?

Welcome to the reoccurring theme of a fun, positive and kinky replacement. You are locking him up and taking away the right of orgasm. And like anytime someone locks up a natural animal you become responsible for their care and maintenance. You get to control when, AND HOW, he releases. It could be never. In that case, you have to find a suitable replacement that is applied at least as often as what you are taking away (i.e. masturbation… which can be multiple times a day for some guys). This replacement could be submissive acts, kinky words, edging, etc. And then the occasional ruin or miliking or prostate release. Whatever you do, make it fun (even in an evil way) and make it very frequent. And if it doesn’t result in frequent releases (kinky talk, submissive tasks, etc) then it has to be as frequent as his normal masturbation schedule (if not more so).

2. Nope.

This might happen in the first few days as he gets horny as hell. But if you keep ignoring it, keep his sex drive in that sexual oubliette, you know what happens to that powerful, biologically fueled, drive? It changes to something much darker. It could be anger, depression, sadness, rejection, violence, etc. Whatever your man’s dark nature is, being forgotten and ignored will bring it out and bring it out amplified. When you forget him, the best you can hope for is to crush his spirit to the point where he doesn’t care anymore. In any case, you will kill the spark that made you love him in the first place. That darkness will cause the game to come to an end in a miserable failure and might put in place lasting emotional trauma that you can’t fix.

How do you do it right?

DO NOT IGNORE HIM. Don’t forget him. Absence DOES NOT MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER. Constant teasing and torture and playing and edging and whatever other fun kinky things you do will. If it is done often it WILL make his libido skyrocket and bring out the fun, kinky side of him. He may get super submissive. He may beg. Plead. Claim he’s dying. 🙂 But he won’t be mad, depressed, violent or feel forgotten. He will feel loved, owned and played with.

1. You know what? This is the same as the last one. Go re-read that again.

In the end, chastity is an awesome game so long as the keyholder (as always, physical or mental) doesn’t take a fire and forget approach, or the ‘absence will make the heart grow fonder so if I forget to play with him one day, two days, a week, two weeks, he’ll really be ready to play when I do finally grace him with the merest crumb of play time’ approach. If you do that, it will backfire spectacularly.

Chastity can do all those wonderful things the Tumblr blogs say it can. It can make your man feel, and be, much more submissive. He can find a renewed spark in you. He can feel loved, cared for and not shamed for want to play with the person he loved. So long as you don’t ignore your dominant role and don’t forget to play more often than the activity your are replacing (his desire to orgasm) then it will work


Well… I’m thinking that I certainly wouldn’t have enjoyed it less.

Posted in chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, male chastity, orgasm denial, Sex Blogging | Tagged , , | 3 Comments