People don’t read anymore, do they?

I usually browse Tumblr on my phone, which, for whatever reason, does not show the new Messages feature. Anyway, at lunch (yes, when you handle the IT, you do those NSFW things) I had an occasion to open Tumblr on my PC, and saw I had a bunch of messages – including one that I just had to share.

This is from “Shevkes”, otherwise known as “Your Keyholder,” who sports the motto: “Training men in sexless marriages, sissies, and boi’$ to submit to the cage. Tribute required.”



Here’s how  it went down:

Show me your cage, post to your page and tag me . I will give you your schedule tomorrow. What is your longest lock time?
Last Sunday at 2:53 AM
You don’t have a cage but you want one. I will pick one for you
Today at 12:48 PM
Yeah, you don’t really know who you’re messaging, do you?

I doubt that I’ll hear back, but if I do, I’ll let you know.

Anyway, I’ve already got a bunch of chastity devices; I really don’t need any more. Well, maybe one more…

Posted in CB3000, CB6000, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Chastity Captions, Chastity Devices, Head Shaking, male chastity, Musing & Amusing | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Sexual Economics

The blog “To Love, Honor, and Vacuum” has an  interesting article up today:

What’s the “Price” of Sex in Your Marriage? An Economist’s Look at Sex

I know, you read the word “economist” and started to doze off. It’s actually a light-hearted look at how there are different factors that affect how often we do (or don’t) enjoy some sexual intimacy in our relationships.

Basic economics tells us that the “price” of something is where the demand for it intersects with the supply of it. The demand for something tends to increase when the price drops, while the supply tends to decrease when the price drops.

But what determines how much of a product will actually be supplied at each point? The cost of the inputs. So if you were making ice cream, for instance, and the price of milk dropped, then the supply line would shift, and the price of ice cream would decrease.

What does this mean for sex?

It means that if the cost of sex gets too high, then you’ll have less sex.

No, no – wake up. The cost of inputs is the important part, except that maybe you know it as “how much of a bother is this going to be?”

I’m not going to inflict the article on you, but I am going to list the top ten inputs that she identified as possible issues. While this article is aimed at women, the more astute men reading this can take some cues and apply it to their own life.

1. Having a place to make love

2. Having time to make love

3. Having physical energy

4. Feeling physically well

5. Feeling emotionally replenished

6. Feeling mentally calm

7. Feeling good about your body

8. Feeling emotionally close to your husband

9. Trusting your husband

10. Enjoying your husband’s scent

The blog is mainly written for Christian wives (and there is a companion blog for the husbands ), so some of my kinkier friends (which is probably most of you) may do a little eye rolling. But I’ve seen some overlap in some areas, and I have to admit that much of the blog covers how to be more intimate in one’s marriage.

Anyhow, if you have time, look through it.

I’m thinking that somebody is going to get a much higher – or lower? – return on investment than they anticipated.

Posted in intimacy, Marriage & Relationships, Relationship, Sexuality & Relationships, Vanilla Sex | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Spiritually bound

Tumblr has begun some soft advertising lately, which means that it picks things that it thinks you might have an interest in and throws posts at you, with suggestions that you follow that person.

For reasons that I found amusing, here’s what Tumblr thought would be a good blog for me to follow:


Now, I’m not going to judge this guy. I mean, it’s all cool that he wants to follow some religious rules that are, in some some ways, every bit as convoluted as Gor play.

It’s just that he uses the term “degenerate” like it’s a bad thing…


And who knows, maybe some Catholic play would do me some good.


Posted in chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Humor, Sexuality & Relationships | 4 Comments

The Naked Truth About Desire Smuggling – asking for what you want

I just stumbled across this blog today, and although I should be clearing up things at my desk at work, I’m taking a few minutes to pass this fantastic bit of information along because it dovetails with the all-too-often theme of “How do I get my partner to…?”

The author talks about “Desire Smuggling:”

Desire Smuggling: Hiding what you really want from yourself and/or a loved one, then, finding cover strategies to get (at least pieces of) what you want.

Why do we do this?

We do it to stay safe. It’s a reasonable response to a toxic environment of shame and judgment.

And what does Desire Smuggling look like?

Desire is persistent and will not be denied. When it doesn’t feel safe to want what you want, you will try to get it anyway. Here are some things you might do:

  • Expect telepathy
  • Make wishes
  • Fake spontaneity
  • Get drunk/high to remove inhibitions
  • Hint
  • Ask if the other person wants the thing you want
  • Rationalize cost/benefit
  • Emotional withdrawal
  • Send articles about the thing
  • Give statistics about the thing
  • Say “people like…” (instead of owning it yourself)
  • Try to convince
  • Try to get the other person to say it
  • Complain that you don’t get it
  • Be “nice” and hope to be rewarded
  • Make unspoken deals
  • Issue ultimatums
  • Emotional blackmail
  • Tack on obligation to a “gift”
  • Minimize by saying “just” or “only”
  • Guilt-trip
  • Be passive-aggressive
  • Blame
  • Want the other person to guess
  • Wait for the right time
  • Wait for a sign
  • Buy into a romance myth (“If you really loved me…”)
  • Assume they should “just know”
  • Withhold
  • Force
  • Non-consensual taking
  • Be macho
  • Be loud and bombastic
  • Punish your partner for not giving it to you
  • Attack/judge someone asking for what you want
  • Attack/judge someone getting what you want
  • Look for other, less-scary places to get it
  • Shame yourself for having that desire
  • Shame others with the same desire
  • Avoid it altogether
  • Make sugar-coated demands
  • Compromise
  • “Purchase” it by doing other things
  • Get needs met without owning them
  • Tell a story about the thing desire
  • Martyr yourself in hopes of getting it
  • Substitute something else
  • Don’t explore internal dissonance
  • Bully
  • Criticize after the fact
  • Spiritually bypass
  • Settle
  • Play options roulette (where one option is the one you want)

More good stuff on this blog by Marcia B.

Seriously, click around – it’s definitely worth your time.

Source: The Naked Truth About Desire Smuggling – asking for what you want

Of course, sometimes your partner has already figured out what you want and is not happy about it.

Posted in Sexuality & Relationships | 1 Comment

Why does it always end up being housework?

So I ran across this interesting gem from Outclick the Coverage.

Okay, on to the mailbag.

“I’m a woman, married and in her mid thirties. We have good, not great sex about once or twice a week, but lately he’s been more attentive and dedicated to, well, ensuring that I finish, which he wasn’t always been that aware of in the past. But he recently disclosed a fetish that has me nervous. He told me that he wants to lock himself in a chastity device and give me the key. He says it’s to help him focus on me more.

He says that this is becoming pretty common fetish and all I have to do is unlock him every now and then at my discretion. He says he likes the idea of being controlled by me. I’m a little concerned about all this and I’m not sure how to go about it.

Since you’re the expert on all kinds of weird sex stuff, is this common? Am I really expected to treat his member like a dog in a kennel? How do I make this fun for me?

Sorry to treat you like a kinky Dear Abby, but I just want to hear your take on this.”

I have never heard of this fetish at all. I mean, I’ve heard of chastity belts, but I thought they only existed for women hundreds of years ago, not for men in 2016.

I’m assuming this chastity belt isn’t made of metal material or something else that would make an erection painful. Because having an erection pressing against metal just sounds awful.

Having said that, if he’s really into wearing a chastity belt, what do you have to lose here?

I don’t think this is a common fetish, but I don’t see how it’s really that harmful.

Plus, you can threaten to never give him the key again while he’s wearing the chastity belt, which can probably get him to do more than just service you during sex. Who knows, maybe you can even get him to fulfill every married woman’s deepest, most ardent and scandalous fantasy while he’s wearing the chastity belt — completing more household chores.  (emphasis added)

It’s interesting that she added “He says that this is becoming pretty common fetish,” because several of the online distributors have mentioned that chastity devices rank closely behind dildos, vibrators, handcuffs, etc.

The other side, though, was this: “I’m assuming this chastity belt isn’t made of metal material or something else that would make an erection painful. Because having an erection pressing against metal just sounds awful.”

Isn’t it interesting that on one hand male chastity is “becoming a common fetish,” while on the other hand, people know so little about it? Why do you suppose that is?

Naturally, the columnist’s advice included the bit about trading sex for chores. Because few things make women more aroused than trading sex for services.

Anyway, the chastity belt on this guy seems to be made of “metal material.” Do you suppose he’s in pain right now?

Actually, that device looks kind of hot.

Posted in CB3000, CB6000, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Interesting Oddities, Mainstream Chastity, male chastity, Sexuality & Relationships | Tagged , , , | 8 Comments