Tally me banana: Part 1

The A081 looks similar to some of the Mature Metal designs.

The A080 is similar to other devices on the market, but looks to be a bit more modifiable for the gearheads.

I’ve had a lot of questions from people who are curious about those really cheap Chinese made chastity devices that are sold on Ebay or the Chinese version DHGate.com. Over the last few years, I became curious, myself; I spent some time looking at the surprisingly wide variety of devices available, and two in particular caught my eye (the A080 and the A081), mainly because they seemed to be copies of those made by Mature Metal. The MM devices are custom made, or at least, made in a range of sizes that you can pick, and can be further modified by request. The Chinese devices (sold by a bewildering number of different vendors) appear to be made in two or three different sizes, and the only custom option is the size of the cuff ring (ranging from 1-1/2 to 2″).  After several weeks of deliberation, I thought it might be interesting to buy one of those devices just to see if I could modify it into something better; maybe not as nice as the custom devices, but something that is comfortable, convenient, and secure.

This is the side-to-side “slop” in the hinge. While it won’t move that much while assembled, the amount of space will lead to chafing and pinching.

I ended up ordering the style called, for reasons unclear to me, the A080. The A081, while looking more like the MM design, has a distinct 90º bend between the opening and end, which I knew would be a problem.  One of my criteria for devices is that I should be able to use a urinal, and I didn’t relish the idea of fishing the the thing out of my pants, and contorting things in order to aim appropriately. The A080 is closer to 60º (similar to the CB3000), and more workable.

The cage itself was surprisingly well made. It was polished, the welds were solid, and it was well cleaned, without traces of polishing compound in between the rings.

Now, I’ve had mixed success in the past ordering Chinese products, including another chastity device. But I figured that for the $27, including shipping, it wouldn’t be a major expense (like The Fort, from a few years ago).  The ordering process was simple, and the expected delivery date promised to be between May 23rd and June 25th — a rather liberal range. Surprisingly, I received it on May 27, just about 2 weeks after I ordered it. The box was plain, and there wasn’t any identification on it. I opened the box, and the device was wrapped in bubble wrap, with a small plastic wrapped box containing a brass Wolfdog padlock with 3 keys.

My first impression was that the cage section was surprisingly well made. It was highly polished, and very clean, without traces of the polishing compound between the rings. The rings themselves were smooth, and look to be machine welded stainless steel. The end of the cage is similarly clean and polished, and the small bars were fairly consistently spaced. It looks like the pieces were all assembled and welded on a mass-production fixture, and the welds themselves may have been automatic (as opposed to hand done). The tab on the top that connects the cage to the cuff ring is a thick gauge and not prone to bending or twisting. The weld here was clean and the tab is pretty straight. All in all, I was really impressed with the quality of the cage.

Not everybody will have a workshop where they can make these little modifications.

The cuff ring, however, was a disappointment, especially having seen the nice work of the cage. The joint/hinge holding the two sections together are loose, allowing far too much torsion — which would translate to chafing and pinching, if they hadn’t included the bit of surgical tubing that one is expected to slide over the section to cover the hinge.

The nice job on the cage section was offset by the really poor design on the cuff ring and locking pin. You can see how the head of the pin hits the flat plat that holds the cage to the cuff ring tabs.

The cuff is held together by tabs slotting into the rectangular hold in the metal tab on the cage. Naturally there is a lot of play here, as well, and the way that the locking pin holds the sections together will most assuredly pinch skin, hair, and chafe. I know this for a fact because just 30 minutes wearing it was enough for me; I removed it and started thinking about how to make it more comfortable.

Let’s start with the locking pin. The pin itself just fits into the holes in the tabs on the lock ring, and the lock fits into the hole at the end. That leaves over 1/4″ of play, and at this point I should note that the Wolfdog lock is crap. The edges and corners are literally sharp enough to cut skin. I didn’t bother filing off the edges; instead, I drilled out the 3mm hold to fit the somewhat larger shackle of my Masterlock. I added some of the spacers that I made for my CB3000 and my Fort, but it was still too jangly for me. Back to the workshop, I carefully filed a flat on the head of the locking pin to make it lay flush against the tabs. That made for less play, but I knew I could do better.

I filed a flat on the head of the locking pin to make it sit more flush with the locking tab; something that most people could do if they order this or similar devices. The pin is still a sloppy fit, though, so we went back to the drawing board.

I have some extra stainless steel pins and spacers from my other devices. The locking pin was slightly larger than the one that came with the A080, and fit nicely through the tab holes, while the head just cleared the tab. I filed down a flat on a couple of the spacers to keep the device from twisting on the opposite side. Marking the length, I drilled a hole for my lock, and cut the end off and rounded it over. To keep the cage from having too much play on the cuff ring, I put a rubber O-ring against the head for pressure, pushed the pin through the holes, put on the spacer with the flat, and then another O-ring to provide some tension for the lock. Not perfect, but I ended up with a lot less play, and some testing demonstrated no pinching, which was the important thing.

My final version: one of my own locking pins cut short and rounded off, with a spacer that was filed to contain the flat bar over the locking tabs. This keeps it from flopping around too much. The O-ring at the head of the pin provides some tension to keep the arrangement from making jingling sounds.

At some point I’ll look at how to attach the cage to a solid ring, because (in my opinion) the hinged rings are too prone to chafing and pinching.

The Wolfdog padlock should not go anywhere near sensitive areas of your body. The edges on this one were literally sharp enough to tear the paper towel.

Having now modified the device to be wearable, I’m going to stop here and get to the stats in Part 2.

 

 

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When I told her I bought another cage, Mrs Edge just rolled her eyes, and then warned me that I should make sure that it was as comfortable as possible before I handed her the key.