Tom Allen’s Chastity Blog

There’s a certain irony in that for the last year and a half that I’ve been blogging, the search engine hits on my blog that query for “chastity” or “orgasm denial” far outnumber the others by a wide margin, despite the fact that for the last year and a half I’ve hardly worn the chastity device for more than a few days, and any orgasm denial we’ve practiced have been incidental to the fact that we’ve hardly had any intercourse – partly as a result from several infections that I’ve gotten from trying to wear the device for more than a few days.

There’s another irony in that personally, I don’t particularly care for chastity blogs, or at least, what I’ve seen pass for chastity blogs. I mean, sure, it’s interesting – even hot – at first.

Day 1 – Mistress locked me into my CB. She’s now telling me when I’m going to be unlocked. I’m so excited!

Day 3 – I’m still locked. It’s been two days without coming. I dont’ know how long I can last!

Day 6 – Still locked. It’s been almost a week – I’ve never gone this long without coming before, I’m going crazy!

( . . . )

Day 10 – Still locked. No orgasms for me yet.

Day 16 – Still locked. I wonder if she lost the key.

( . . . )

Day 23 – Nope, didn’t get to come yet. Changed the batteries in the TV remote.

And this is not to disparage anyone’s experience in orgasm denial, certainly. After all, going without something as basic and pleasurable as an orgasm for a length of time is not easy, even for those of us with some practice. It’s just that, as with so many kinds of experiences, it is very interesting and intense only to those who are in the middle of it. Those of us watching from the sidelines are moderately interested, but at some point it just becomes boring. Hell, anyone can not have an orgasm, you know? Truth be told, a few years ago I tried keeping a journal, but after a few months it just seemed pointless.

What is more interesting, at least to me, is not the scorekeeping of how many days/ weeks/ months it’s been since being locked up or having a release or an orgasm, but what’s going on mentally, physically, and emotionally as you deal with things ranging from the mundane (how your is body adjusting to the device, how you are able to function with regard to hygiene, using toilets, wearing different types of clothing) to the more cerebral (does not coming make you think differently about sexuality, how you manage to cope with the denial) to the transformational (balancing the frustration of denial with the pleasure of pleasing one’s partner, coping with the long term effects, discovering emotional changes and reactions). I mean, the number of days can sound impressive, but at some point the numbers don’t mean anything; when Mrs. Edge and I first tried it out, we (and I say “we” because it involved the both of us) kept extending and extending the denial until it passed eight months. Much later we agreed that at some point it would become, well, pointless to treat it as a record to beat. After eight months, where do you go – a year? Two? No, at some point the numbers simply become statistics, but the stories of the emotional challenges are always different for each person.

That’s the kind of journal that I want to keep, because I think that nobody else is really interested in how many days I can wear a hunk of plastic; but I do think that some people might be interested in how I’m feeling after, say, several weeks of wearing a hunk of plastic, and then seeing how I compare those feelings after another period of time – if, indeed, there is another period of time, since the fact is that I have no idea how long it’s going to be. And that, in itself, is an interesting story, isn’t it?

About Tom Allen

The Grey Geezer Dauntless defender of, um, something that needed dauntless defending. Dammit, I can't read this script without my glasses. Hey, you kids, get off my damn lawn!
This entry was posted in CB3000, CB6000, chastity, Chastity & Orgasm Denial, Chastity Devices, Communication, Disclosure, Fetish, Fetish & Kink, male chastity, orgasm control, orgasm denial, piercing, relationships and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to Tom Allen’s Chastity Blog

  1. nigel says:

    So Tom;

    is the activity, challenge or practice of chastity and orgasm denial through the use of a CB 3000/6000….. and the blogging, spin off, fun?

    Or is it more of a spiritual pursuit and method of pleasing one’s Mistress?

  2. Tom Allen says:

    Nigel, you may be asking the wrong question. For the moment, let’s leave pleasing my mistress out of this because we don’t have a D/s relationship. We have a few aspects of our life that are vaguely D/s-ish, but even that is a stretch.

    The practice of chastity and orgasm control actually is fun for the both of us. That’s why we take breaks from it, when it’s no longer fun or enhancing our relationship, then it’s time to remove the device and take a vacation. I should think that’s pretty obvious; nowhere have I ever implied that I’m denied out of punishment.

    And while I can’t speak to it being a spiritual pursuit, long-term denial does have some psychologically transformative aspects to it. Such aspects are noted in Taoist and Tantric works which advocate orgasmic continence.

    The blogging, of course, is simply me showing off and feeding my ego 😉

  3. 2amsomewhere says:

    I think that the analogy of a long journey might apply here. Sometimes you make the trip not because it’s 1,000+ miles from where you live, but what you experience and see along the way.

    Come to think of it, perhaps you’re looking for a chastity analogue of Steinbeck’s Travels with Charley in Search of America?


  4. Z says:

    “…what’s going on mentally, physically, and emotionally…”

    Yes. That’s the hook, that’s what makes me keep reading 🙂

  5. maymay says:

    I think this can be distilled into an even more basic truism:

    Things that are are more interesting than things that are not.

    Which is nothing new to you, I’m sure, but might provide some kind of insight to some reader sometime in the future from when I’m writing this. That fact is evidenced by those blogs you’re talking about. At first they’re talking about what is going on (being locked up, feeling excitement, etc.) and then they’re talking about what isn’t going on.

    And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what’s not happening on an orgasm denial blog!

  6. Tom Allen says:

    At first they’re talking about what is going on (being locked up, feeling excitement, etc.) and then they’re talking about what isn’t going on.

    May, thanks for taking two sentences to clarify what took me a whole article to say.

    And I’ll also posit that this is why so many “chastity blogs” end up abandoned by their writers – at some point, all they’re writing about is what is not happening; my guess is that it becomes tedious even to them. I once had an analogy of a lottery winner’s blog:
    Mon: Didn’t win.
    Tues: Didn’t win.
    Wed: Didn’t win
    … etc.

    And it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what’s not happening on an orgasm denial blog!

    Ah, but that doesn’t mean that other good things aren’t happening. Why don’t we hear about it?

  7. Garry says:

    This is exactly why I venture back to read your blog and rarely anyone else… it is the adventures the two of you take, how you get there, and the emotions involved that make this exiting and FUN. I’ve decided over months of reading over the web that the interaction is what draws me in.

    The other comment is that it does take two… I can’t imagine doing this any other way; unless she is involved then what’s the point? As you have pointed out, her delight in having the keys and yours in providing them to her, is a major part of the fun. Along of course, with all the teasing…
    Thanks for sharing….

  8. brahnamin says:

    my wife and i play at chastity games on occasion, but i have never worn anything to force the issue . . . no plastic . . . no device.

    and sex when we play these games usually still involves contact for me, sometimes even penetration, but i don’t come until she says so. that may mean hours, days, or weeks depending on our mood.

    that is a huge turn on for her and has quite a few fringe benefits for me as well.

    what i was wondering, having never tried an enforcing device, is what’s the difference? does using the device take things to a new level . . . or is it just a whole different experience altogether?

  9. scott Kelly says:

    Hi Tom,

    This post is spot on regarding the inner aspect of enforced chastity. In reality, except for our modified Curve, the actual time I can remain in a particular device has its physical limits.

    It’s the emotional side of things…what the chastized person feels and the relationship with the keyholder that is central.

    as for brahnamin’s comment: The enforced nature of being physically locked away has a powerful effect. No doubt about it. I can remain chaste w/o a device but the device sends me into the arousal/tease/deny stratosphere.


    Mrs. Kelly’s Playhouse

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  13. amoxie says:

    I just had a conversation with someone about the meaning and motivation behind chastity and orgasm denial. She was upset because I was allowed an orgasm after only 22 days in denial, which isn’t a new record for me. I was so frustrated with her at the end of the conversation, I thought to myself, “I need to go read that Chastity Tom blog.” I’m glad I did too, because this post is spot on – ironic too that google led me to a post that is three years old.

    For me, it’s about the relationship, the trust, the intimacy, the emotions, the challenge, bonding with your partner. For her, it’s about reaching a specific goal, beating your old record and proving something to yourself. While I like being able to beat a previous record, it can take a lot more strength to submit to the person in control when he or she decides it’s time before you’re mentally prepared for it. The trust and the loyalty involved in a moment like that makes chastity so much more meaningful than some banal number game.

  14. jokers_wylde says:

    Just wondering has there ever been any problems in the erection department after long term wearing my wife is interested in using a chastity belt but she is worried i can damage something

    • Tom Allen says:

      Well, when you’re wearing the device
      erections aren’t a problem. After it’s off, the only problems most wearers have is trying to find something to do with them.

      Does that answer your question?

      Seriously, if you didn’t have issues before, then there won’t be any physical issues when it’s off.

    • jokers_wylde says:

      Thanks just trying to put her mind at ease that there would be no long term damage done by restricting the erections

  15. Pingback: The evil hotness of teasing a guy with his cock locked in a chastity cage | CAVA Supernova

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