Denial or Control?

I watched as Mrs. Edge packed her suitcase for the week-long trip that she was taking with her girlfriends, three other women who she has known since high school. They were going to one of those all-inclusive vacation resorts on one of those Carribean islands to celebrate all of them having made it to the half-century mark this year. The usual shoes, sandals, shorts were followed by particularly lacy and revealing undergarments, and several tight, low-cut dresses most of which I had never seen, as she had bought them specifically for this trip. I could feel my cock twitching in my chastity device as I thought about her wearing them while out at the discos, surrounded by handsome, young island men.

Hah! I’ll bet I had some of you going for a minute there, didn’t I? I get a lot of traffic from people – presumably men – searching on some variation of cuckolding or hot-wifery, and just wanted to give them something to think about. Sorry about that, guys! 😉

Actually, she is on a vacation with her old girlfriends, but they’re more interested in nursing their hangovers and blowing their diets. In fact, she called while I was writing this post, and after several days, all of them have been sick from too much food, drink, or sun. Yup, can’t have a proper vacation without overdoing everything in the first two days and regretting it for the rest of the week.

As for me, I’ve been holding down the fort and having some bonding time with the Edgelette. This means we get to browse the used book stores, read manga, play Wii, and talk about life, the universe, and everything. Oh, and have some ice cream. Ice cream is very important bonding food.

Oh, and yes, Mrs. Edge and I had lots of sex all last week, including twice on the day before she left. Then came the question. “Hell, yeah!” was her response as to whether she was going to lock me up while she was gone. The morning she left, the device went back on, and she put the key in her purse. Over the week, I took some pictures of me with the phone cam, and tried to send them, but the service was only letting voice through, and not data. Maybe I should post them here for the next HNT.

Last year’s issues with my frenum piercing getting infected all the time after a few days in the cage put us both off using the devices much for a while, more out of a sense of disappointment. And recently, she’s been requiring extra help in the lubrication department, so we’ve been trying different products. Unfortunately, a few of them have left her feeling uncomfortable when using our other cock, which has caused her to refrain from having me use the strap-on. We decided to try a few more different personal lubes. The KY Warming Gel seemed good at first because it’s very thick, but now she thinks it’s burning a bit. We tried something called Maximus, then switched to Astroglide, but it wasn’t long-lasting enough. Then we went back to the KY, so now I’m off to research some new personal pubes lubes.

While I’m on the topic, though, I wanted to address something that Dave and L, new readers, brought up in comments on one of the last posts about the makers of the CB-x000 line of devices.

L: Tom Allen: He’s the one who told me about male chastity devices. He didn’t exactly ask for it, he acted like he feared it… But it also excites him I decided it sounded fun! So you could say the idea comes from him.
From what I’ve read too, a lot of men are the ones that ask for it, or buy it themselves. From my understanding of it, it’s sort of like a sweet torture. The fact of wearing it is in itself exciting, yet you can’t do anything about it…

Tom Allen: L – And you’re correct, it’s an arousal/fear kind of thing, and can be very frustrating, in a delicious way… until it becomes simply frustrating again.

Dave: I have a different trigger…the idea of my mate asserting ownership of all of the orgasms in our relationship, hers and mine, has a very powerful hold on my psyche.

L: Dave: Yes, my guy has similar fantasies, too, but at the same time, he’s too scared to actually go thru with it. So far, I’ve been nice, the longuest I’ve made him wear it is 5 days.

I run across the occasional news blog that has a picture or link to a male chastity device, and it’s usually followed by a lot of “WTF is that?” and “No freakin’ way I’d wear that” comments. But once in a while I see a few people who ask “Why? What do you get out of it?” The above discussion has a few of the reasons why people in a non-power exchange relationship might explore wearing a device.

Getting back to the point of this post, I haven’t really worn a chastity device for any length of time in the last year that was enforced; generally, it’s been for testing modifications or, more recently, testing the new CB-6000, so this past week has been interesting for me for several reasons.

Because I haven’t had to wear the device in so long, it’s something new again, and that makes it exciting. I’ve had free rein to initiate sex or to masturbate for a while, and the thought of that being removed pushes the control button in a way that’s similar to what Dave describes.

Mrs. Edge not being here, I don’t have the “teasing” aspect that I normally would have which fuels the arousal. The possibility of having sex – using whichever cock she chooses – is always in the back of my mind; and since we both sleep in the nude, at some point I’m spooning against her in the night which is sure to cause a reaction. In other words, I’m not climbing-the-walls horny in her absence. But when she’s gone, I often masturbate simply to relax and help me get to sleep more easily, so I’m also feeling, as L states, the arousal/fear reaction. Not that I’m actually afraid, but rather, I’m asking myself if I could get back into the long-term denial play again, or even the short term play. I mean, orgasms are fun when you’re having them, and giving them up is difficult.

But just having to wear the device this week has had me focusing on the “no orgasm” part, and after having had some free time, I’m finding that I am both aroused, and having a difficult time with the idea that Mrs. Edge might come back from vacation dangling her key and taking back the control once again. The possibility is exciting to think about, and on some level I would completely love to give in, to have her simply say to me that she’s had a chance to recharge and is ready to go back to taking control. But, remembering her tendency to keep me locked up continuously, I’m hesitant to broach the subject with her, for fear that any mention on my part would be just enough impetus for her to actually do so.

I enjoy the control, but I fear the denial. The problem is, denial really is about control, and the longer the denial, the deeper the control. Thinking back on the several times we went for months, I get more aroused – even though the idea of repeating those episodes scares me just a little bit.

:sigh:

Tonight I bought a tube of Astroglide Gel.

Mrs. Edge will be home from vacation soon.

Maybe I’ll mention it after all. . .